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“Kacchan is so pretty.”
Katsuki has been awake for minutes or hours when he hears the soft voice coming from the smaller boy beneath him. The only light surrounding his dorm room is the gibbous moon sneaking her way through the semi-transparent curtains and the candle Izuku had lit before lazily making his way into the bed, into Kacchan’s arms. He has been waiting for this moment to arise, having spent countless of his nights cuddling with Izuku, enough of them to find out that he was a sleeptalker.
It had only started with small sounds and words at first. Words turn into sentences, and sentences turn into full-blown conversations. After a while, it had slowly become his favorite part of the night, talking with an unconscious Deku, softer than ever, getting to learn his deepest thoughts that Katsuki would never imagine his boyfriend confessing under the warmth of daylight.
He had not mentioned this to him on any occasion, terrified of it being taken away from him, too embarrassed to admit the fear to himself.
He slowly takes his arm from underneath his boyfriend and reaches for his phone lying on the nightstand. He had promised himself last time that when this happened again, he would film it to keep it for whenever he needed to watch it. He slowly raises his arm that holds the phone, careful not to move the other one wrapped around Izuku’s back, and presses record.
“What did you want to say to me, baby?” He speaks, trying to keep the level of his voice to a minimum and hide his smile. He would never find it in his pride to speak to someone else this softly, this gently, giving them a side of his most vulnerable and loving self. This was a time only for Katsuki, like his little secret therapy session in dreamland, belonging to him and nobody else.
Izuku slowly moves his hand that was on top of Katsuki’s chest, unconsciously circling around with his finger. He usually liked to play with anything on Katsuki’s body, whether awake or not, which left a nice relaxing tingle in his nerves. His boyfriend always knew how to reach up to his brain that almost never seemed to shut up and carefully guide it to places where he can hear nothing and no one but him.
“You are the prettiest boy I know.” he mumbles, having trouble voicing the words properly, making Katsuki let out a giggle, rolling his eyes.
“What can I say, nerd. I’m just so amazing.” He slowly pats his boyfriend's hair, making him sound out a content sigh and snuggle up to him more.
“I know you are. So amazing and talented at everything. So much better than anyone else.” Katsuki lets out a soft idiot, smiling like one as he glances at his phone camera. “You are better, Izuku.” he presses a soft kiss on the soft hair, tingling his face, getting a grunt and furrowed eyebrows in return. “I’m never better. You are always there for people in need of help, always giving more than you have to be the best hero you can be. Always so mesmerizing. You are my image of victory.”
This was a sentence Izuku liked to tell Katsuki a lot, awake and asleep. And it had rapidly become Katsuki’s favorite compliment in a short time. His boyfriend starts again before giving the chance for the latter to answer, making him almost surprised that he can continue his daily habit of muttering for this long, even while being asleep. “You are so beautiful and strong. Your muscles look so good on you. Your scars, too.” Izuku sighs before continuing.
“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Please always let me watch you. When you are exercising, cleaning, or studying. Or being a hero. Or forever.”
Katsuki forgets the phone in his hand and the video being recorded, and the rest of the world, other than his boyfriend's gentle voice. He continues to watch him with eyes of awe, for asleep-Izuku usually had a way with words that left Katsuki speechless.
“Please always let me kiss you. On the lips and everywhere else. I love you, Kacchan. I really hope you don't start hating me again.” Katsuki’s face starts to form into a frown without him even realizing. He patiently waits for Izuku to continue getting to whatever point he is trying to get to.
“Please never leave me.”
His fingers automatically stop recording, letting go of the device, at the same time coming to the realization that Izuku had started to shed silent tears. Turning his entire body towards him, Katsuki wraps his now numb other arm around Izuku, trying to get into a position where he can hold him as close to his own chest.
His eyes are wide, listening to the tiny breaths his boyfriend takes in as he cries because of him again. Should I wake him up? Talk to him? Should I leave him alone? Is he better off without me?
…Without me?
Izuku had told him so many times that he had forgiven Kacchan for anything he did back in middle school; they were still children, he didn't know any better, he had apologized, and both of them were alive and well now. They loved each other. He made sure to reassure Katsuki about all of it whenever he sought reassurance, like he deserved any.
Katsuki knew that what he did to him was something that leaves a scar, a bloody one, especially when it came to someone like Izuku. Even when he had forgiven him, Katsuki knew he would never be able to forgive himself.
Stupid. He would think to himself. Stupid, brainless nerd.
Who falls in love with the person that bullied him for half his fucking life?
Before he even realizes, he feels his own cheeks wet and lets out a soft curse. He needs to get his emotions together, be a good partner, the best of the best. He knows he can never redeem his actions, but at least he can make sure Izuku never gets harmed ever again.
“Kacchan?” He hears a rasp that makes him jump, and quickly wipes his entire face with whatever he can and prays to whoever's above that his voice doesn't crack as he loosens his arm to take a look at his boyfriend's almost closed eyes.
“Hi baby, did I wake you up?” He shows him a little smile that looks crooked. Izuku slowly reaches up to his face with one hand, holding his cheeks where his tears have moistened, and speaks again. “Why are you crying, Kacchan?” Katsuki looks at his puzzled expression and raises his own hand to hold Deku’s own cheeks, which are no different from his. It’s completely silent apart from their breathing and occasional sniffles coming from both of them.
It takes a couple of seconds for Izuku to realize his own state, and furrows his eyebrows, both eyes open wide awake now with confusion. “I’m sorry, Izuku. For everything you have been through. Nobody else would be able to do what you do. You never did anything wrong, never deserved any of the things that I put you through.” Katsuki lets out softly, unable to stop his full-on crying now.
“Kacch-“ Izuku tries to say something, anything, as he sits up with panic, because why the hell is his boyfriend suddenly saying all of these in the middle of the night, but gets cut off with fingers on his lips. “I never deserved the love you give me, baby. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I love you so much, I will never leave you, I swear. I love you. Nothing can make me-“ Katsuki tastes Izuku’s chapped lips in between his own salty tears as he feels him wrap his strong arms around his body. It's a bit sloppy, given they are not only fighting the past, but also the slumber that is trying to lure them in.
Izuku isn’t pushing or using strength, but Katsuki feels so secure under the arms of his boyfriend, he can’t think of anything other than the softness he feels when he gets to have Izuku like this, just for him, forever for him. And even when he starts to pull away from Katsuki, he can’t help but follow his lips just for a bit more, like the Earth's gravitational pull has got nothing on him.
“Did you have a nightmare?” Izuku asks with glossy eyes. Kacchan can’t take his eyes off of them. “Never mind, don't answer.”
I would choose to endure every nightmare if it meant you only got to live in a land full of dreams.
Izuku starts moving, pushing Katsuki so he is comfortable on his back and puts his head right where his heart bumps, listening to it like the rhythm gives his own the power to beat. His sweet, tired voice fills the room, accompanied by the soft cracks coming from the vanilla-scented candle. Katsuki doesn’t cry.
“There is nobody better than you for me, nobody can love me better.” Izuku wraps his arm around his body, giving him chills. I don’t deserve you.
“Who you are is not where you’ve been, Kacchan. So many springs have passed since you changed from what I feared and became my favorite thing. No way of making my heart stop beating for you now.” Izuku is hiding his face deeper into Katsuki’s chest. I don’t deserve this.
He doesn’t dare to answer just yet. Or blink. Or breathe. Looking straight into his ceiling, maybe in hopes of finding words, hand in Izuku’s hair, he stays. He finds it hard to tell how many minutes have passed until his boyfriend's distressed breaths grow deep. He is asleep again.
I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve you, but I will pick up my pieces. I will kiss you until you’re breathless, call you beautiful until you can count the wrinkles on my face, step in where you have to step back.
“I love you.” A whisper is let out as he smells the candle finally burning out. In complete darkness and silence, he kisses the thing he holds most dear to his soul and permits himself to close his eyes. In that moment, a candle burns out as the symbol of an innocent promise being fulfilled between two lovers in every universe, and there is no witness to it other than the rising moon shining ever so brightly, but never brighter than their love.