Chapter Text
Washington, D.C., October 30, 2015.
Ali stood motionlessly as she watched Ashlyn pack the last of her stuff into a box. She was moving out of their home, the one they'd made for themselves when they started playing for the Spirit together. It had been their fresh start after the break-up and their time in Germany, the place where they'd talked through everything and put their relationship on the amazing path it was on now.
"Babe?" Ashlyn said, still focused on closing the box, but looking up when she received no reaction. "Alex?"
Ali shook her head quickly, snapping out of her thoughts, trying to force a smile. Ashlyn was going to Orlando in the upcoming Expansion draft, there was no way around it. Tom had hinted at "bringing local players home" and Ashlyn's eyes had sparkled from the moment the NWSL had announced their 2016 expansion team would be the Orlando Pride. She knew Ashlyn would be happy there, but as soon as her eyes landed on her beautiful girlfriend, Ali couldn't stop the tears from flowing over anymore.
"I..." she started, but was unable to get another word out. Ashlyn quickly closed the space between them, wrapping the brunette in a tight embrace.
"Shhh, Alex... It's all gonna be alright." she tried to calm her down.
"How could it be alright? We're gonna be apart again, just like it always seems to be when things are going well." she got out between sobs.
"Do you not want me to go?" Ashlyn asked.
"No... I mean, yes. I mean... you have to go. It's your hometown, your chance to do something for the sport in your community. And I took the chance when I got it, so..."
Ashlyn sighed. They had talked about it for hours, probably days, and Ali had been nothing but supportive. Still, it was going to be a test for their relationship, as long-distance usually was.
"Ali... Alex." Ashlyn nudged her girlfriend's chin upwards slightly so she could look into her eyes. "You know how much I love you, right?" Ali nodded slowly. "But I also love my home. I've been away from home for so long, sometimes it's hard to remember where it is. My family, my friends... They deserve to see me play without having to take days off work to travel to wherever I am."
"I know, and it's the right thing to do, I know that." Ali had pushed away from Ashlyn slightly, needing to get some space. "It's just... how can you be sure this isn't going to hurt us? How can you be sure this isn't going to break us up again?"
Ashlyn buried her hands in the pockets of her jeans, staring at the floor. "Cause I won't let it."
It was Ali's turn to sigh. "That's great, but you know it won't be that easy. One week, I'll be playing in Seattle, you'll be playing in Orlando, we won't even have time to Skype. Next week, I might be in D.C., while you're in Portland or whatever."
Ashlyn shrugged. "We'll make it work. We always have. And where is all of this coming from right now? I mean, it's not like we haven't talked about it before..."
"Well, I changed my mind. Seeing you move out... it's just too much for me. I thought I would be fine and that I could just be happy for you, but Ash... I can't."
Ashlyn inhaled sharply. "You can't? You think this is fun for me, leaving you, leaving D.C., leaving the Spirit and our teammates? You know this wasn't an easy choice to make, but I had to make it. And what happened to, 'Don't worry, Ash, I'll just try and get traded to Orlando next season, we'll be together then'?" she asked, imitating Ali's voice slightly, but immediately realizing she had made a mistake in doing so.
Ali's face changed from sad to furious in a split-second. "You know what? Go, Ashlyn. I'm sorry for caring so much about our stupid relationship that I actually worry about what this is gonna do to us! I'm sorry that I'm not giving up my career to run off to fucking Orlando with you!"
"I never said..." The goalkeeper protested weakly.
"Just... go, Ashlyn. Do what you gotta do."
"But what about us?" Ashlyn asked, tears stinging in her eyes now as well. How had this gotten so out of hand? The first time they'd talked about it, they'd planned ahead, talking about settling down in Florida, looking at houses, thinking about starting a family with both Ash's family and Ali's mom and stepdad nearby to maybe help out with the kids, dreaming of barbecues on Sunday afternoons after surfing with her friends. All of it seemed to be so far away right now.
Ali just shook her head, staring at her feet. "I don't know. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."
"You're not hearing me, Alex. What happens when I take those boxes to my car and leave for Orlando? Am I gonna call you when I get there? Are we gonna skype? Are we gonna talk, like, at all?"
"I just... I think I need some time, Ashlyn." Ali said, still not looking up.
"So this is...?" Ashlyn started, already being afraid of the answer.
"A break?" Ali asked more than answered, hoping for Ashlyn to make some grand gesture, to turn this conversation around, to make the pain all go away in an instant, as she usually did so well.
Instead, there was nothing but a silent scoffing to be heard from the blonde. "Fine, you got it." With that, Ashlyn threw her suitcase onto the box, lifted it up and walked out the door, slamming it closed behind her with her foot.
Ali could only watch through the kitchen window as the love of her life drove off to her new old life, with all her friends and family around, while she was now standing in a half-empty house by herself, sniffling into the sleeves of her sweater. It was only then that she realized it wasn't hers, but rather Ashlyn's old UNC sweater she had been crying into.