Work Text:
It’s been a little over a month since they’ve moved into their shared apartment, and Ida feels sick to his stomach.
It’s the first time they don’t spend the night together, as Aoki had some business to attend to back home. He told Ida he’d be home at around 7. It’s now 9 o’clock and he might as well be going crazy. Just the thought of Aoki makes him shiver, especially what he could be doing. It’s not in his nature to be jealous, but his boyfriend has got him acting in ways that make him not recognize himself.
He thought back to his last moment of happiness. Before Aoki walked out the front door, he blessed Ida with one last kiss on the side of his neck, and now he’s here, rubbing the spot absentmindedly. He can almost still smell him.
Ah, to feel Aoki. Seems like years have passed without seeing him, and he now longs for his lips like a man in the desert longs for water. How the stars long for the Moon, how the Moon longs for the Sun.
He can’t comprehend now, how he even existed before Aoki.
Ida ran a hand through his hair and sighed as he slid lower on the couch, accepting defeat over his feelings.
Though he always acts put together and calm, his heart races at even the slightest touch, and he’ll never muster up the courage to admit it to Aoki.
He told Aida once, on a night of wine and hushed confessions, how he’s falling to bits, but Aida only shook his head, patted his back and told him he was crazy.
He took his phone out and began typing out a message. He asked him where he was, told him he missed him, and what he’s going to do once he’s home. Well, he would’ve, if he had enough to drink. Now he just stares at his keyboard and an empty text box.
When are you coming? I’ll wait.
He groaned as he sent the message, then threw his phone on the opposite side of the couch.
He walked out of the kitchen for a bottle of wine, but got stuck at the window. He stared at his reflection, and imagined Aoki coming up behind him and embracing him slowly, swaying from side to side. He always does that. Moving around, bouncing, he can’t calm down. Ida felt a sense of worry too, but it’s not at all like Aoki’s, one that never leaves. No, it’s a worry that if he doesn’t get to feel his lover’s skin, hear his voice, he soon might just fall apart.
He soothed himself with the fantasy: Aoki slowly kissed his face, his neck, just to kiss it. Then he’d laugh, and Aoki would then get embarrassed and bury his face in the spot between his neck and shoulders. Then he’d turn around and softly kiss the shorter boy, and Aoki would grip his hair just like he likes it, because he always knows how he likes it. It wasn’t hard to, as he’d like doing anything if it was with him. Whatever makes him happy, whatever he wants.
He heard his phone buzz and practically ran into the living room to check his phone, forgetting all about the wine.
21:18
Kousuke
I’m coming
the train was late
:(
sorry
about an hour
Ida laughed so hard at the message, because of course Aoki would write something like this, and of course he can’t stay angry. Not that he ever really was. Weird he forgot to ask if he-
you need anything?
No, thanks. Just get home safe, please.
on it
Maybe he should take a shower, Ida thought. The warm water might help calm his nerves, now that Aoki can’t.
He took his time stripping down, trying not to think of his boyfriend too much. When the water hit his skin and the steam rose up all around him, he didn’t forget about anything. It was all he could think about, Aoki, Aoki, Aoki, soft and warm and welcoming. He just wants to hold him forever. Do nothing but hold him. Every second without him he’s losing it. At school, at the store, anywhere he is, his mind is occupied with Aoki. Even if he’s only in the back of his mind, an image of his cute face is always haunting him.
Once he had enough of the hot water cascading down his body that did not soothe him at all, he threw on his clothes and remembered the bottle wine he was about to get.
He tried reaching for more after his first cup, but he could feel his body actively advocating against the idea. As much as he would’ve needed it, he hated alcohol. With each sip he took, he could feel his bones aching for Aoki even more, the opposite of what he wanted to achieve. It was no use denying it, and there was no cure. He’s fallen in love.
The kind of love that wakes you up in the morning and puts you to sleep at night.
Ida put his head in his hands as he groaned in agony. It’s gonna be a long, long night: he’s been struggling to stay awake. (he’s been going to sleep earlier lately- trying to make Aoki do too.)
An unhappy ending of a miserable night. He pressed his pointers in his eyes lightly, and he swore he could see Aoki’s image forming in the blurred lines he saw.
He stayed like that for a while: mused over his life, how he even got to this point, and of course, he thought about Aoki.
The doorbell.
Hope, his savior! Spring has arrived, the birds are chirping, flowers are blooming, The Sun shining. He rushed as fast as he could, and when he let Aoki in, he tried making himself look like the calmest person in the whole wide world, not lovesick at all! He couldn’t ever-
But Aoki stepped inside, now there he stands, face slightly flushed from the cold, his hair messy, blown by the wind, his lips slightly parted in a cute grin, he really can’t help it. Everything he’s thought of in the past hour seem like nothing, it’s all replaced with what’s in front of him.
Without a word, he embraces Aoki, and all is well,- World peace is restored as Ida breathes in his boyfriend’s faint perfume and the street air, pressing an urgent but long kiss on his cold forehead.
“Hi.” Aoki manages to say into Ida’s chest. “You missed me?”