Work Text:
Rui’s head hurt. The skin on his scalp was sore.
He glanced over at his clock, carefully dragging his gaze across the desk so as to not look at the mess he’d made. 00:23. If he went to bed now, Nene wouldn’t berate him in the morning. She might even still be awake playing whatever video game she was currently obsessed with.
But he couldn’t go to bed.
Really, he should clean up, but that would mean acknowledging what he’d done. Going to sleep was the ideal choice, but the urge was still present, and he knew that lying in bed with nothing to occupy his thoughts would lead to more damage. He wanted more damage. But then Nene would be upset.
Nene…
His mind cleared a bit at the thought of his friend. Rui made his way over to the mirror and angled his head to see the top.
It was bad. The skin showed through easily.
The others might notice.
The momentary clarity he’d gained at the thought of Nene quickly disappeared, and he started to stumble around his room in panicked thought. His gaze landed on the desk, scattered piles of lavender hair covering it. Enough that it wasn’t easily hidden like usual. Shaking, he pulled the mess into a pile and rolled it under his hand, but the hairs refused to form a ball like usual. Rui felt himself mumble in fear. Fully trembling now, he grabbed some tape and pressed it over the pile until most of it was clinging on, then wrapped it into a ball and missed tossing it into the bin.
When on Earth had he done all that?
After a moment, Rui managed to calm down a bit, now that the hair was mostly out of sight. He sank to the ground, willing his breathing to slow down. I’m okay.
His hands and head still tingled for more.
He desperately wanted to work on something, but his brain was too cluttered and hands too shaky to do anything. He needed a distraction so he didn’t start pulling again. But nothing would work - it was all too boring, or not enough, or too much energy.
Rui sighed. He didn’t want to do this.
To: nene
nene.
i'm sorry, i know it’s late. are you awake?
Her response was almost concerningly fast.
From: nene
why are you up
go to bed
what’s wrong?
To: nene
window
please
He was so, so, so pathetic.
From: nene
i’ll b there soon
Rui allowed himself to sink back into the floor, his phone beside him. They had a routine at this point; Nene would climb out of her own window, squeeze through the gap in their gardens’ separating fence, get up to the edge of his garage window, and he’d help her in. The reverse was less common. After a few minutes, there was a gentle tapping on the window. Rui stood and untangled his hands from his hair – oops – and leaned up to let Nene in. He pulled open the window, and reached up to gently take her body into his arms and lower her down, with her clinging to his shoulders. Once they were done, Rui closed the window once again and turned to his friend. His eyes watered at the sight.
Nene looked scared. The anxiety was obvious, her eyes scrunched up, skin taught where she frowned. Without hesitation, she leaned up and grabbed his hand. “Rui, what happened?”
He turned away, fighting the urge to tug his hand out of her’s. That would only make her more nervous. Rui mumbled, no real coherent words forming, just an absent-minded sound. Nene tugged him over to the couch and sat down, pulling him alongside. “Rui. Please?”
He huffed. Words still wouldn’t form, so he instead opted to play with his bangs, trying to communicate what had happened with his hands and eyes alone. Nene looked on. After a moment, she seemed to understand. “Your hair again?”
Rui nodded with a pathetic whine.
Nene rubbed his hands with her thumb. “Okay. I get it. Can I have a look, is that okay?” Again, he just nodded in response. She stood and leaned over him, gently parting the hair with her fingers, running her hands through it. Rui heard a quiet hiss; her fingers hit his skin now.
“Rui…” Nene lowered herself to look at him. He averted his eyes. “Was this just tonight?”
“...Mostly.” His voice cracked in a way that made him hate himself. He wanted to curl up into a ball, be anywhere but here. He wanted to sleep.
“Rui.” Nene sat beside him again, taking his hands. “It’s okay. What can I do to help?”
He hummed nervously, glancing at her. Words still wrangled in his throat. His hands tingled, and he tugged one away from Nene’s. She tilted her head. “Do you not want me to touch you?”
Rui shook his head, and Nene’s hands were quickly gone. She retracted a bit, so their shoulders no longer brushed. In the corner of his eye, Rui could see her worried face, and the way she bit her lip. They were just as bad as each other, really.
The quiet stretched on for what felt like an eternity – ten minutes. Eventually, Nene spoke. “Can you go to bed?”
Rui grumbled. “Still… want to.”
That was enough. Nene leaned forward, holding out her hands. “Okay, can you tap for me? Just quickly. Left to stay down here, right to go upstairs.”
Rui batted her left hand. She smiled gently. “Okay. Can you tap again if you wanna do something? Whatever you want.”
A hand reached forward, then hesitated. Nene cocked her head. Rui fidgeted. “...Tired.”
“Oh, you want to do something but you’re too tired. Is that it?”
A nod.
“Alright… What about a movie? You’ll be distracted, but there’s no effort if you can’t do much.” Her smile brightened. “I’ll sing for you, if you put on a musical.”
Rui seemed to light up. He nodded, pointing over to the laptop on the desk. The girl stood to fetch it, but started searching the desk rather than picking up the computer. She ignored the strands of hair, fumbling through pencil cups and boxes, then the drawers, then pulled back with a quiet aha. She picked up the laptop and sat back down, dropping something into Rui’s lap. He picked it up, confused.
Oh. Recognition struck him. It was a friendship bracelet Nene had made him a few years ago, with charms that spun and squished, made for scenarios just like this. Smiling fondly, he slipped it on and allowed his other hand to play with the charms as Nene opened the laptop. “Any preferences?”
Rui hummed. “I want you to sing.”
She laughed breathily. “Hey, that’s mean… But okay. Sing A Bit of Harmony?”
Nene knew that the answer would be yes and started to load the film. Rui realised how much lighter everything felt already; he couldn’t really speak, and his head was still crowded, hands still tingling, but nothing felt crushing anymore. They hadn’t even done anything yet. Odd, how just her presence soothed him.
Rui was eased out of his thoughts by Nene’s gentle voice; La laa lala, lalaa. He smiled at the gentle melody and turned his attention to the film. His eyes fluttered unhappily at the images, and he reached forward to reduce the brightness of the screen, brushing Nene a little in the process. She looked at him and cocked her head. You okay? Rui nodded. The room was quiet, aside from the ticking of the clock and the quiet sounds of the film. After a while, Nene’s gentle melodies filled the room as the film’s first musical number started; she was quiet in her singing, knowing that Rui would likely cringe at anything much louder. As the song continued past its opening, the boy started humming alongside her, prompting smiles onto both of their faces. At the end of the song, a mixture of tiredness, forced quietness, and worry caused the songstress to falter on the stretched high note, and they both giggled. The film continued; one of the things Rui enjoyed about it was the talk of AI and robotics, and looking at him, Nene could almost see the thoughts running through his head as he thought through the programming being discussed. It was funny; she smiled.
“Hand.”
Nene looked over, a quiet eh? escaping her lips. Rui moved one of his further towards her, and hesitantly, she took it. He scooted a bit closer, allowing their shoulders to touch just a little. The girl smiled. “Feeling better?”
“Mhm.”
“You wanna keep watching?”
“Mm.” Yes.
Nene didn’t reply, instead just leaning her head back on the sofa. Rui was displeased by this, and moved his hand to pull her head onto his shoulder. A moment later, he jolted and pulled away again. Nene frowned. “Rui?”
He grumbled. “...’m sorry. Don’t know… how much is okay.”
“Oh, okay,” Nene’s voice was gentle, but she paused the film anyway, to allow him to focus. “If you want to lean on me whenever, you can, but I won’t lean on you. So you can just do what feels right, okay? I’m here whenever you need me.”
With another slight murmur, he nodded, and leaned forward to press play on the film. One hand still clung to Nene’s, while the other played with the bracelet. Eventually, another musical number began, and Nene once again managed to calm him with nothing more than a gentle voice. He hummed and, ever so lightly, leaned into her side. It was uncomfortable for a moment. Then, it was peaceful.
Rui’s breathing slowed. He slumped further into Nene’s side, as tiredness hit him in waves. The girl smiled gently and paused the film.
“You really ought to stop falling asleep on this couch, you know… You’ll ruin your back.” She very gently rubbed the hand she was holding, resisting the urge to reach up and stroke his face. “You’re so brave, Rui. You do so much for me, and for Wonderlands x Showtime, you’re so impossibly kind. When you’re like this, I know how much it hurts, but you still think about others before yourself.” Nene sighed. “I don’t even know what happened, but I’d guess you were stressed over that new show gadget you keep going on about… You don’t always have to be perfect, you know. I understand that inventing and pushing the limits is your whole thing, but it hurts when you send yourself this far. And when it’s for us… You should take better care of yourself.”
Nene squeezed his hand.
“I hope you know how much we love you.”
The quiet was calming. But a voice came through it, almost blending right into the silence, barely audible. “I know.”
Nene released her friend’s hand, face pinkened. “R–Rui! I thought you were asleep…”
He winced a little – Nene’s volume wasn’t controlled in her embarrassment – then smiled. “You’re sweet.”
“Yeah, well…” Nene’s voice was quiet again. “I don’t come over here for no reason. I care about you.”
Rui hummed and rested his head heavily against her. “Sleepy.”
With a light chuckle, Nene pushed him back. “If you’re sleepy we should go to your actual bed. Can you do that?”
He grumbled, out of frustration and tiredness. He didn’t want to move.
“For me?”
“...mkay.”
Nene stood, and Rui followed slowly, still the tiniest bit shaky. The girl placed the laptop back on the desk and closed it, then reached for her phone and Rui’s, placing them in her pocket. The whole time, their hands stayed tangled together.
The two made their way into the house and up the stairs as quietly as they could. When they arrived in Rui’s bedroom, Nene quickly texted her parents that she was staying over, and then motioned to the drawers. “Put some actual pyjamas on.”
He nodded, quickly changing into his softest set whilst Nene tucked herself into the bed. The bracelet stayed on.
One side of the blanket was left folded over for Rui to get into the bed. He happily did so, quickly sinking into the mattress and pulling the duvet up to his neck. The lamp was switched off, leaving the two of them in a warm silence. Rui reached for Nene’s hand once again, and she happily took it.
“Can you hum?”
Nene chuckled softly, and began murmuring out a familiar melody. It was how they’d always fallen asleep together, a song from their childhood, one that brought comfort on otherwise miserable nights. It had the power to lull Rui to sleep after only a few verses, and was quiet enough that Nene would follow soon after.
Through a sleepy haze, Rui shuffled a little closer, draping the hand he held across Nene’s body alongside his own arm. It was comfortable. It was warm.
Nene would always be there, he knew.
By the morning, his touch aversion was long gone, and they were hopelessly tangled.