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Being Big

Summary:

Buck wakes up upset because he's still little but knows he needs to get things done. Eddie reassures him everything will be alright and helps him slowly feel "grown-up" again.

Notes:

Okay y'all, I should be studying and finishing Kinktober right now but I woke up inspired and wrote this in like an hour :D Soooo, I guess little!Buck is becoming a series and I'm not mad about it. Hope you're all having a nice weekend!

Work Text:

Eddie’s baby boy was curled up peacefully in bed with his arms around his favorite stuffed animal. It was early in the morning and he wasn’t sure what state Buck would be in when he woke up. Both of them were off work today but had some things they needed to get done. Errands to run, paperwork to do, meals to prep for the week. But whatever Buck felt like, they would make do. Buck always came first.

He saw the other man slit one eye open before closing it again and smiled at his boy’s sleepiness. He walked over from where he was standing in the doorframe and reached out a hand to run through Buck’s hair, but before he could touch him the blonde shouted at Eddie.

“No!” he cried, turning away and shoving his face into his stuffed bunny. So he was still little then. That was okay, but Eddie was worried about why he seemed so upset. He sent a quick text to Carla asking her to drop Chris off at school—he had spent the night at her place and while Eddie knew Chris might be a little disappointed not to see his dad before school, he needed to take care of Buck right now and knew Chris would be happy to have extra time with Carla.

He moved to sit on the other side of the bed so he was facing Buck but refrained from touching him. He could barely make out Buck’s next stilted words through his sobs and his heart broke at whatever pain his baby boy was in. “Don—don’t take her! Please.”

It took Eddie a minute to understand what Buck was talking about and his cracked heart split further apart until little splinters poked the inside of his chest.

“Shh, baby boy, daddy would never take your stuffies without asking you. I just wanted to give you some morning head scratches.”

The little lifted his head just enough for Eddie to see his puffy red eyes over the bunny’s soft fur, now matted with tears and snot. “Scratchies?”

“Yeah, baby. Can daddy touch you?”

Buck nodded and immediately pushed his face back into the rabbit, struggling towards Eddie from under the covers as he continued crying. Eddie scooted closer, gathering Buck in his arms like he wanted and running gentle fingers over his scalp. His tears weren’t letting up at all, but it at least it seemed like he felt safe as he curled himself into Eddie’s lap.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

Buck sucked in a few harsh breaths before answering. “F-feel little, but hav-haft—hafta be big,” he managed before he broke down sobbing once more. “Hafta—hafta do stuff. Please don’t take bun, daddy.” His words were muffled by the animal’s fur, but Eddie understood nonetheless.

“Oh, baby.” He kissed Buck’s forehead which only seemed to make him cry harder. “Daddy will never take your stuffed animals without asking, okay? You just snuggle bunny nice and tight, huh?” The little nodded into his chest, his face squishing into the animal’s plush fur with ever movement. “You don’t have to be big yet, baby boy.”

“But I do! I do, daddy. Need to do tings.”

Eddie clutched him tighter as he thought through what to do. Sure, they needed to get things done, but Buck was always more important.

“Ev, daddy can help you be big today, but you can at least take a few more hours, okay? You always come first, cariño. Always.”

Buck sniffed but seemed to finally be calming down. “Daddy help?”

“Of course, baby.”

As much as Eddie hated having to bring Buck out of littlespace when he didn’t really want to, sometimes it was necessary. Eddie wished his boy could stay in his unburdened bliss for as long as he needed, but they had work tomorrow and there really were things they needed to get done. They could only take off so many days.

They had talked about it before, what to do when he was feeling a little stuck, or rather feeling stuck as little, but it had never happened in such a dramatic way before. Even if Buck was worried about getting things done, they could spend a few more hours relaxing. It mattered a lot more to Eddie that he feel safe and comfortable and get to ease himself older gradually than that he snap out of it as soon as possible.

“How about we get you out of these hot covers and into some cozy jammies and read a story on the bed before breakfast? Does that sound good?”

“Story in the morning?!”

Eddie chuckled at the incredulous glare Buck shot his way, skeptical that they would read in bed since that was usually reserved for nighttime.

“Yeah, baby. Morning story time.”

Buck didn’t need any more motivation to scoot away from Eddie and throw the covers off all by himself, keeping hold of his bunny as he swung his bare legs over the edge of the bed. Eddie stood and dug through their drawers for some pants for Buck, grabbing a fleece pair that was soft and comfy but not patterned like the ones Buck usually wore when he was little.

The blonde obligingly laid back on the bed as Eddie helped pull the pants up his legs, and snuggled back into his daddy’s chest as they leaned against the headboard together with a book. They read until Eddie heard Buck’s tummy grumbling and figured it was time for breakfast.

Eddie had Buck walk to the kitchen instead of carrying him, but he held his hand the whole way and helped him up to sit on the counter while he made them toast and eggs. They were mostly quiet throughout breakfast, but Eddie could tell Buck was slowly starting to feel older again.

“D—Eds.”

“Yeah, Buck?”

“Can we go on a walk?”

“Of course.” As much as it pained him, Eddie refrained from pet names right now, knowing they made Buck feel more like slipping. They both got dressed in normal t-shirts and sweats, holding hands as they went for a walk around the neighborhood. Once again, Eddie felt Buck becoming more like his adult self as time went on. He held Eddie’s hand just as tightly the entire time, but Eddie could sense the change from his desperate grasp, worried that his daddy would let him go, to the firm but steady grip that signaled his love and care for his partner.

By the time they got home, Buck was back to telling Eddie excitedly about all the new facts he learned about the plants around their block and already wanting to cook lunch for the both of them. Eddie thought it was adorable how even though Big Buck and Little Buck were so different, they were so clearly the same person.

They made it through all their errands and before they left to pick Christopher up from school, Buck pulled Eddie into the hall and planted a gentle kiss on his lips.

“Thanks for this morning, Eds.”

“Of course, Buck. You know I’d do anything for you, and it’s not like you make it difficult to care about you.”

Despite being grown-up Buck now, the man’s blue eyes shimmered with tears and Eddie knew that hit closer to home than he meant for it to, but he didn’t regret it. It was true. Loving Buck was as easy as breathing air, and he deserved to know it.

“Thanks, Eddie. I love you,” he whispered with a kiss to the man’s cheek.

“I love you too, Buck.”

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