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Cale was the son of a high, very respected noble. The son of a Duke. Choi Han, in comparison, despite being born in a whole other world, would be considered to be of common birth. To others, the type of relationship Choi Han sought would be ludicrous, absolutely ridiculous, but Choi Han was sure it could work out.
After all, he had known Cale for two years. He himself was a very respected person in the Raon Kingdom, one of the only swordmasters in the world. A savior. He didn’t enjoy referring to himself in those terms, but he was glad to be able to use it as justification now.
Yes. This could totally work out.
“Except,” Alberu, his student, said from beside him, “that bastard is denser than lead.”
Choi Han grimaced, but he wasn’t able to disagree.
On the outside, their meeting was for teaching and training. And, to be fair, that is what they’d been doing earlier. But they’d gotten tired and distracted and somehow stumbled across the topic of Cale. Choi Han was about as good of a liar as he was an actor, which he had no talent in, and he supposed it made sense since part of lying includes having to act, which, again, he had no talent in.
He wasn’t sure if he should respect or fear Alberu and Cale. To them, lying seemed as easy as taking candy from a baby.
Not that I would know, Choi Han thought, since I don’t steal candy from babies. I can’t imagine it’d be so hard, though.
Alberu saw an opportunity to embarrass his poor, poor teacher and latched onto it, coaxing every emotion the swordmaster felt out of him with his glib tongue. So now Choi Han is forcing him to suffer alongside him.
I’ll get him back later in training, too. Choi Han thought. Alberu looked at him, weary eyes fearful of the evil glint in his teacher’s eyes.
“He is.” Choi Han sighed, defeated. “He really is. He can’t even notice when people worry about him, nevermind when someone has actual feelings for him.”
“Do you know if he was in any relationships, like, at all? Even in his past life?”
Choi Han paused, scrolling through his and Choi Jung Soo’s memories carefully. “No. I don’t think so.”
“God, of course.” Alberu slid a hand across his face, wiping some of the sweat off along with it. “I’m not even surprised. This is the worst. I shouldn’t have bothered you about this. I could’ve stayed out of it.”
“I would have come to you sooner or later.” Choi Han said, raising an eyebrow.
They were both dirty, lying on the dirt of the training grounds. It was just them, as Alberu had waved off all the guards. After all, what could some measly guards do that a sword expert and swordmaster couldn’t?
Seeing grime and sweat spread across the crown prince’s normally pristine face was somewhat unsettling. Choi Han had to resist the urge to grab a cloth and just start scrubbing at it, if only to distract him from his feelings for a noble’s son. He knew it’d be futile, though, since they were only taking a momentary break.
“Ugh, you’re right, you guys will never leave me alone.” Alberu groaned.
“That’s partially your fault.”
“I know. That makes it even worse.”
Choi Han could do nothing but chuckle, before groaning again.
“Do you think that if I hint really hard he’ll pick up on something? I don’t want to tell him outright. I’m scared,” he said, covering his face with his arm.
“He’ll probably be like, ‘hmm, Choi Han is being weird. Strange. Oh well,’ or something. He won’t say anything, though.” Alberu responded. “But, you? Scared? Something about that just isn’t right. You being scared of Cale, of all people, is somehow hilarious yet understandable.”
“He’s not very strong but he can be terrifying.”
“In this context, though, you have to admit it’s somewhat silly.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
“Me?” Alberu asked. “No. Too busy to be in love. Maybe Cale’s like that, too, though. I think he’s too busy thinking about defeating the White Star and passing out to be able to think about much else.”
“Ah. You’re right.” Choi Han said. “This is really a bad matchup.”
Choi Han grunted as he got off the ground. “Alright, enough break time.”
“Fuck.”
–
Cale sneezed, rubbing at his nose. Is someone talking about me?
He shook his head. No, that’s just superstition. But something was still sending shivers down his spine. Cale had a stack of papers taller than his head sitting in front of him, paperwork he wished someone else was doing, but he wasn’t able to focus on a single page.
This is the worst, he thought, laying his head on the table. He stared at the floor longingly, wishing he was laying down on the cool marble and eating a bowl of grapes. Everything he’d done was in order to ensure a long slacker life, and yet, with Basen admiring the back of his head and Duke Deruth’s nods of approval every time Cale did anything, he could feel it slipping through the palms of his hands like water.
Cale sneezed again. Is it allergies?
He sighed, leaning back in his chair and threading his fingers together, tapping his index finger against the other hand’s knuckles. I miss my bed. When will Choi Han be back?
Choi Han was a constant presence throughout the past two years. Cale felt safe when he was around, and despite the other very strong presences around him, he still didn’t feel quite as safe as when he was with Choi Han.
He absently stroked Raon’s head as the dragon settled into his lap. Mm, maybe Raon’s an exception, though. Both Choi Han and Raon. He smiled as Raon snuggled into his lap, the weight very grounding.
He’s getting big. That’s good.
Cale hated to admit it, but other than the whole White Star situation, he was rather content. He’d never tell anyone aloud, of course. It was a secret he’d take to the grave. I’d be more content with the White Star dead, though.
The thought soured his mood. When will Choi Han be back? As content as Cale was, something just felt missing. He couldn’t quite tell what it was. An aching in his heart, maybe, but that was so cliche that Cale would rather believe he was having a heart attack.
Is that even possible? Cale wondered, tapping a finger against Raon’s scales. Raon let out a sound that was suspiciously close to a purr. Could I even have a heart attack? Nonetheless, he’d prefer that over whatever the hell he’s feeling.
He exhaled heavily, closing his eyes. I can deal with it later. I have more important things to worry about. I miss my bed.
“Cale-nim, are you sleeping?”
Cale startled, turning around in his chair. “What the fuck? When did you get here?” Choi Han stood before him, in his.. Very dirty glory. “Did you have a mud fight with Hyung, or something?”
Choi Han shrugged. “The teleporter in His Highness’s bedroom is very useful. No way to avoid a mess during sparring, though.” Cale sighed.
“Okay, welcome back. Go… Take a bath. You look like you haven’t bathed in 3 years.” Choi Han bowed slightly as he left the room. Cale leaned back, feeling slightly flushed. Seriously, he can’t sneak up on me like that, he thought, feeling rather weak. I might seriously have a heart attack, against all odds. Is he CPR certified? He’d better be.
“I’m doomed.” Cale muttered. “I’m doomed and unnecessary feelings will be the death of me. Why was he so close? Is it hot in here? What the hell is wrong with me?”
He paused. “Did that pile of papers get larger? Hell. I’m not dealing with this. I’m going to take a nap.”
Yes. The obvious solution would be to sleep on this. What he didn’t expect, however, was to not be able to fall asleep.
“Fuck. Somebody sedate me,” he grumbled in exasperation, “for the love of God.”
Hong pawed lightly at his face, him and his sister having joined Cale on the bed. “What does sedate mean?”
Cale let out an exhausted groan. “It means to put someone to sleep, or something along those lines.”
“I could put you to sleep.”
But Cale just waved him off. “No. Don’t worry about it. That’d be an abuse of power.” A very convenient abuse of power, but an abuse of power nonetheless.
What is wrong with me? Cale hadn’t had trouble falling asleep in years, that he could remember. Sleep came to him as easy as one plus one. It was a nice recess from all the troubles of the world, where the only things he had to worry about was Raon shuffling around too much or getting murdered in his sleep.
One of those was clearly worse than the other, he realized, but they still fit nicely into the category of Things Cale Worries About While He’s Asleep. Though, he was worried that now he’d have to add a third item to that category.
Ugh, I hate feelings. Cale thought, noting the setting sun and his inevitable inability to sleep despite having sat here for several hours at this point. The children were already asleep, leaving Cale rooted in place. Wish I was numb. Just so I could fall asleep. Have I eaten today?
He could almost feel Choi Han’s presence outside the door, which was not helping. Has Choi Han eaten today?
The thought was burning his brain, so he got up– carefully so, to not disturb the children napping on his bed, and opened his door, seeing Choi Han leaning up against the wall beside the door. Dark eyes gazed at him, making Cale’s head feel slightly fuzzy for a moment. What the fuck? That’s weird. Stop that.
“Come eat with me.” Cale said, simply. He’d never had much of a way with words. Choi Han smiled.
“Of course, Cale-nim.”
He’s so senselessly obedient, I wish he’d rebel at least some. He’d probably trust me if I told him to jump off a cliff. Cale resolved never to tell Choi Han to jump off a cliff, even as a joke. He’d probably think Cale had a plan of some sort that involved him jumping off a cliff. Except, the moment I’d try to jump off a cliff, he’d probably kill the cliff. Double standards, seriously. It’s not like I’d die.
It is heartwarming, though I hate to admit it.
“Have you eaten today?” Cale asked, as they sat down at the table. Beacrox, somehow having read Cale’s mind, already had food set out and was gone doing God knows what. He realized it was somewhat a late question, but he was feeling slightly awkward.
“I think I had breakfast, but I skipped lunch since I was training His Highness.” Choi Han said. “You haven’t eaten yet, have you?”
It was less of a question and more of a statement, like Choi Han was asking for confirmation on his theory about Cale’s horrible eating habits. Cale didn’t respond, mostly out of guilt. It had slipped his mind.
“Cale-nim, you have to eat.” Choi Han sighed. “You’re already gaunt enough as it is.”
Cale couldn’t honestly deny the allegations being put against him, but that didn’t stop him from being somewhat upset about them.
“I try.” Cale grumbled, opening his mouth to place a nice piece of steak in it. Beacrox never fails to make delicious food. I should eat this more often.
Though, feeling Choi Han’s eyes on him throughout this meal was making him slightly uncomfortable. Dear God, I hope my face isn’t red right now. Is it hot in here? …Is Choi Han planning my demise?
He had thought that in jest, but it sent shivers down his spine regardless, a stark contrast to the heat he was feeling in his face. I sure hope he isn’t.
It was sobering enough to get him to calm down, the slight tinge of red leaving his face. He yawned, eyes fluttering slightly in exhaustion. Maybe being hungry was why I couldn’t sleep and not Choi Han.
Cale stood, his plate empty for the most part. “You should head to bed. I’ll do the same.” Choi Han scrambled to get up.
“I’ll walk you back.”
Cale raised an eyebrow, but shrugged Choi Han’s strange behavior off.
Later in the night, Cale laid awake in his bed. Fuck. Let me sleep, for the love of God.
–
How did we get here? Choi Han pondered with a slight hint of panic. How, exactly, did this happen?
Really, he should know better than to blindly follow what a clearly tired Cale says, especially when it’s clearly a batshit crazy idea.
Note to self: Make sure Cale has gotten his sleep before following through with any idea he has.
All signs of danger were gone at this point, much to his relief. The only bad things were the fact he had little idea as to where in this damned forest they were, and the one who did know how to guide them back to the Black Castle was currently… Unavailable, for lack of a better word.
The thought brought a grimace to his face, his bloodstained hands pressed against a place where skin should be. It’s not my blood, which is good. But the red hair of the man under him, the one who was saying something intelligible that Choi Han really couldn’t care about right now, was just absolutely oozing blood from places that should not be oozing blood. It’s his blood, which is bad. Very bad.
“It’s ffffine..” Cale grumbled, lightly poking at Choi Han’s arms with what little strength the man currently had. “...It’ll heal. Thas what m’ ancient powers are f’r.”
“Dumbass. Idiot. I’m never listening to you ever again.” Choi Han said, still trying to prevent Cale’s death by blood loss, noting the slight slur to Cale’s words. “I’m also never taking my eyes off of you. Did you hit your head?”
“Hmm…” Cale sounded drunk to Choi Han. A calm drunk, unlike his reputation. “Y’r pretty. Neffer take y’r eyes off me. I like y’r eyes…”
“Cale-nim, please. Did you hit your head?” Choi Han wanted to cry. At least he knows he’s pretty, though. His gaze flickered from Cale’s eyes to the very large wound on the man’s side. Just as Cale said, the flesh was slowly regenerating, but the key word there being slowly. It wasn’t fast enough to completely abate Choi Han’s fears.
“Mmm, I thin’ so. This in’t very good, izzit?” Cale slurred. “Ion thin’ I wann rember this when ‘m awake.”
“What? Cale-nim, no, please don’t fall asleep. Fuck.” He moved one hand, shaking Cale’s shoulder. “Stay with me. You can sleep later, at home.”
“Why not?” Cale was getting whiny, and for some reason it was almost irritating how calm he was. “I coulnt sleep last night ‘cus I ws thinkin’ ‘bout you too hard. Lemme sleep..”
Why are you doing this to me, Cale-nim? Choi Han felt guilty about the blush on his face, given it really was not the right time or place for this type of discussion. “You can sleep when we’re home, okay? But you have to stay awake until then.” Really, how did this happen?
“Mmmmkay..” Choi Han let out a sigh. He’d never experienced it himself until now, but in shows that he watched while he was in Korea, it was a bad idea to let people with head injuries sleep. Cale seemed to be staring blankly at the sky, droopy eyes clearly threatening to close. Choi Han kept an eye on the muscle and skin that was reconstructing itself, the blood loss finally starting to subside.
He was soon able to remove the pressure he’d been applying to Cale’s side, a sense of danger poking at him. Raon-nim is going to kill me. I will die. As long as Cale-nim is safe.
“‘Twas a mere fflesj wound..” Cale sleepily said, seemingly to no one in particular. “I told ya.”
“Yes, Cale-nim, you did.” Choi Han got up, and bent down to scoop Cale into his arms and carry him. “Can you point me where we need to go? Talk to me while we go.”
Choi Han didn’t know how long they were gone. A long while, probably. They chatted along the way, Cale clearly on the verge of passing out, but Choi Han wouldn’t allow him to sleep until they reached the Black Castle. Though, as soon as the Castle came into view, Cale chose that moment to go fully limp in his arms.
It brought a lot of pain to Choi Han when the reality of the situation finally hit him. Cale-nim could have died. If Cale died, where did that leave Choi Han? Cale was his home, his rock, his life. If Cale was gone, was there any point in Choi Han’s existence?
The realization was jarring, to say the least. Neither him nor Raon felt the need to leave Cale’s bedside for the weeks he was out except, maybe, to bathe. Choi Han had so much guilt and fear running through his veins, as though if he dared to leave for more than an hour, Cale’s heart would stop and he’d be lost to time forever. Logically, he knew otherwise, but the bigger part of him started screaming and thrashing every moment they were apart.
After all, it was them being apart for even a moment that caused this in the first place. The one time Choi Han was unable to protect Cale, and the one moment Cale wasn’t completely aware of his own surroundings. Cale had been hit in the side and thrown against a tree by one of the monsters living in the Dark Forest, in the one moment Choi Han was preoccupied by a different creature, and he didn’t get up afterwards.
If Harris Village didn’t teach him completely about the fragility of human life, this event certainly did, even if no one died. Suddenly, an image of Cale burning along with the villagers in Harris Village coursed through his head, fear shooting with it. He gripped Cale’s hand, relishing the rising and falling of the man’s chest.
He wasn’t quite sure when he fell asleep, but he was sure his dreams were filled with fire and red hair.
–
Cale started waking up rather slowly, but then everything hit him like a truck. Fuck. I did dumb shit. I will never recover. Should I just die right now? His memory was less of a blessing and more of a curse. He wished he didn’t remember the things he’d done and god forbid what he said. Yes, Choi Han is very pretty. Without a doubt. But saying that out loud was so much different from thinking about it. Especially when you’re in a state where you have absolutely no filter.
I’m gonna die. I hope I explode. Actually, no I’ll explode later.
“Cale-nim?” A voice brought him from his thoughts. Ah. He’s right there.
“I’m sorry.” Cale said, immediately.
“No, I’m sorry. I couldn’t protect you, and this.. Happened. You were asleep for 2 weeks. This is my fault.”
“Absolutely not.” Cale was firm. “I was the one who came up with a dumb bullshit idea while sleep deprived. This is in no way your fault, and I won’t let you take any blame.”
“Well, it was my fault you were sleep deprived.”
Cale flushed. Fuck. Why did I say anything? Who let me speak? “That… Well, that– Yes, but–” He buried his face in his hands, rarely embarrassed. “But the dumb idea wasn’t your idea.”
“Do you really think I’m pretty?”
“Are you teasing me now?”
“I’m just curious.” Choi Han said, a teasing lilt to his voice. “You told me I’m pretty. Do you like my eyes?”
“You exist only to torment me. Why must you do this?” Cale’s chest was feeling rather fluttery, and he was almost hoping it was a malfunction with Vitality of the Heart’s healing instead of his own feelings causing it.
Choi Han grabbed one of Cale’s hands, peeling it away from his face that was red as his hair. Sneaking a glance at the swordmaster, Cale could tell Choi Han was just as red in the face. Gently, he grabbed the other too, and pulled him closer.
Before Cale could register what was going on, he felt a pair of lips on his own. What? What? What is going on? Oh my God.
He didn’t dislike it. He sunk into it, even, his arms finding their way over Choi Han’s shoulders. But as soon as it started, it was over.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long, Cale-nim, you have no idea.” Choi Han said, a smile playing on his face. “I think this made me realize just how short life is. I don’t want to lose you before I could really know you.”
“Mm. Trust me, I won’t be dying anytime soon. Not anymore. Though, there was a moment I was worried I would. Does embarrassment kill?” Cale coughed awkwardly into his fist. “This is why I sleep so much. Almost dying sucks when you have no filter when you’re on your deathbed.”
Choi Han laughed, just as awkward. “Please don’t joke about that.”
“But you were laughing.”
“Still. That doesn’t count. It caught me off guard.”
Cale sighed. “Fine… I love you?”
Choi Han stared at him, slight surprise in his dark eyes. Then a smile spread across his face, feeling more happy than he had in decades. “I love you too.”