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It’s still dark when Steve throws Eddie’s door open. It’s with such force that he’s startled awake, almost falling from his bed. He blinks at him, bleary-eyed, opening his mouth to ask what the emergency is, but words tumble from Steve’s mouth before he can say a word.
“Robin’s alive.”
Eddie sits up, wide awake. In the dim light of the moon through the windows, he can see Steve’s hair is unkept, his eyes wild. His heart breaks a little.
“Steve,” he starts, gentle, but Steve shakes his head.
“No, I know how it sounds.” He’s pacing back and forth, running one hand through his hair. Eddie focuses, letting his magic flow through his hand until he’s summoned a small flame, and lights the candle at his bedside. Steve’s shirtless, dressed only in pants, his silver scars illuminated by the candlelight. His face is rugged, unshaven, unkept.
Eddie does know how it sounds. He knows because he was there.
Steve, Max and Dustin had already gone through the rift, back to safety, when the Nightmare had descended. It had been titanic, bigger than any creature he’d ever seen. It was spideresque in its appearance, grotesque and twisted— at least, to him. Dustin had explained that it took the form of a fear you have and twists it into something worse. Eddie’s scared of spiders, so— spiders it had imitated.
It had also blocked the path to the rift, leaving him, Robin and Vickie trapped, like the start of some terrible joke. The Inquisitor, The Champion of Kirkwall and a Grey Warden walk into the Fade…
Go, Robin had said, already drawing her daggers. I’ll hold it off.
No, Vickie had protested, all clad in her Grey Warden armour. You were right. The Grey Wardens caused this, it needs to be a Warden who —
Who helps them rebuild, Robin had interrupted. Eddie had remained silent, frozen, for the first time not knowing the solution. The Grey Wardens were needed to end Blights, immune to the darkspawn corruption and the only ones capable of taking down the terrible creatures known as archdemons. With Creel messing with their minds, they’d fallen into disarray— they’d needed someone to guide them. Chrissy, one of the Grey Wardens he’d known, had given her life saving Ferelden, and Jeff, the other Grey Warden who had fought in the Blight, had disappeared, searching for a cure to something known as the Calling. Vickie had been their best chance at restoring order to them.
On the other hand, Robin had been like him, someone thrust into heroism, except with experience and knowledge that could help to bring down Creel once and for all. She’d fought him before, both her and Steve; apparently her father had used blood magic to keep Creel sealed away decades ago, resulting in his bloodline being the only ones able to break the bindings to kill him. A trick, Steve had told him dully, using Robin’s blood to free Creel under the guise of his death. They hadn’t known of their failure until Creel had returned.
More than anything, though, he had known how important she was: not just to his companions, most of whom he knows care greatly for her, but to Thedas itself. Steve’s book about the famed Buckley had shared her story, but she had been there when the mage rebellion first broke out. Fuck, she’d been Hopper’s first choice to lead the Inquisition—the only reason it hadn’t been her had been because Steve had claimed not to know where she was. Then Eddie’s unlucky ass had wandered in Haven, gotten stuck with a hand that glows bright green and closes demon portals, and they’d slapped the title on him instead.
Vickie and Robin had seemed to share a silent conversation as Eddie’s heart raced. It should have been him that stayed, is the thing. In another world—a better world—Robin was the Inquisitor, and the decision was easy. Eddie stayed behind, sacrificing himself for the Champion and the Grey Warden to get out, and his sacrifice helps to save Thedas.
But they weren’t in that world. They were in this world, the world where the Nightmare descended ever closer down towards them. The world where Robin had turned to Vickie, touching her arm, a fierce expression on her face.
Helping the Grey Wardens rebuild is your responsibility, she had said. Creel is mine.
He’d pieced together everything moments before it happened. Creel’s earlier torment when they’d travelled through the Fade, whispering their fears for everyone to hear. The devastation on Robin’s face as he’d whispered hers, quickly hidden when Steve had turned to her. The cruel voice, crooning: Did you think you mattered, Robin? Did you think anything you ever did mattered? You couldn’t even save your city. How could you expect to strike down a god? You’re a failure, and everyone knows it. The fire in her eyes at that moment. The realisation of just how deeply that wound had cut her.
Vickie had nodded, her expression right, her eyes sad, and Robin had turned to him, finally.
Say goodbye to Steve for me, she’d said, giving him a sad smile as she produced her daggers. Keep the kids out of trouble.
She’d lunged forward before he could move, throwing herself in the direction of the Nightmare creature. Her daggers had embedded into its flesh and it had screeched, its attention solely on her. Eddie had cried out, because he hadn’t known Robin for long but he’d known enough, he’d known she’s the other half of Steve’s soul, that it’s not fair for it to be her to make the sacrifice.
It hadn’t mattered. Vickie had grabbed him, hauling him through the rift back to their world, and his traitor hand had reacted, fizzling with magic and sealing the rift behind them— sealing Robin away.
Steve had been waiting for them. He’d raced up to them, relief clear on his face, so obviously looking for Robin, and his face had shifted to confusion when he’d failed to see her. Eddie hadn’t been able to choke out the words, shame and guilt crawling up his throat. Vickie had told him, had taken the brunt of Max’s rage and grief, and all Eddie could focus on was the way Steve’s face had crumpled, the wail that had left him.
That was two weeks ago. Vickie had left, travelling to Weisshaupt to try and rebuild what was left of the Grey Wardens, and they’d held a makeshift funeral for Robin. He’d heard Erica shrieking at Steve that same evening, breaking down into sobs, and Steve had stood there and taken it.
Steve hadn’t left his room for a week. Even after that, he’d kept mainly to himself, only really having spent time with people again these past three days. And now—
Well. Now.
Eddie swallows hard. Steve’s looking at him now, his expression pleading, and the last thing he wants to do is crush him.
“Help me understand,” he says instead. He pats the space on the bed next to him, looking up at him.
Steve sits, rubbing his face with his hands. He looks exhausted in a way he never used to. Grief sits awfully on him, making him look far too small. Like he really has lost part of his soul.
“I’ve been— dreaming,” Steve starts, his voice hesitant. “And I know— I know how this sounds, okay, it sounds crazy, and maybe it is crazy, but I—” He takes a deep breath. “I keep… seeing her. In the Fade. And at first I thought it was just dreams, because I miss her and I can’t— I know I can’t take a world without her.” His voice trembles here and Eddie feels his own heart break. When he continues speaking, though, his voice is steady. “It’s always her in the Fade, lying against these rocks, right? But the more dreams I’ve had, the more worse she’s looked. I think— I think I’m seeing her. The real her. I think—I know—she’s alive still.”
He practically rushes through the last words, as if afraid Eddie will try to interrupt. It’s a lot of information to take in, truthfully, but even if Robin is alive…
“Steve,” Eddie says, as gently as he can. “I believe you, but… We can’t get into the Fade. The rift— The rift closed, remember? I can’t reopen it.”
“You don’t need to.” Steve stands again, resuming his pacing. “I’ve been researching, and— Back in Kirkwall, there was this… mirror. Broken, obviously, but we knew someone who desperately wanted it fixed.”
Eddie’s heart starts beating louder. He knows exactly what mirror Steve means.
“An Eluvian,” he says. Steve looks surprised, but nods. “You want to go through an Eluvian.”
Eluvians—magic mirrors that function as doorways—are notoriously rare, and incredibly dangerous. They’re Dalish, used by the ancient elves to travel between their cities without needing roads. They use a different kind of magic than mages do, even those in Tevinter, and don’t give up secrets easily.
Jeff had experienced one firsthand. It had been corrupted by the Blight, tainted by the Darkspawn. One of his friends had touched it and gone mad, had become tainted herself. The Darkspawn corruption—the taint—had spread through her, and she had staggered off into the wilderness. Jeff had been luckier, found by the Grey Wardens before the taint had spread too far. He’d undergone the Joining, an ancient ritual used by the Grey Wardens to become immune to the taint, and when the Grey Wardens had been felled at Ostagar, he and Chrissy had found themselves left to save Ferelden. Later into their travels, the whole group of them had encountered Jeff’s friend. She’d all but become a Darkspawn herself and had been put of her misery by Gareth.
“It’s been said the crossroads can lead to the Fade,” Steve says, a little desperately. “If we can go through the Eluvian—”
“It’s dangerous,” Eddie blurts out. The words taste like copper in his mouth. Jeff’s words swirl around his head. The mirror was tainted. It killed whoever touched it. That poor girl’s grey face, her hollow eyes. Unrecognisable as human at the end.
“Not if you know what you’re doing,” Steve insists. He sits back down, taking both of Eddie’s hands in his. He meets his eyes; there’s wild hope in Steve’s. “Please, Eddie. I need— I need to do this. I need to get her out of there.”
He hesitates. He was never going to say no, in truth. He’d follow Steve to the ends of the world if he asked. Even if he didn’t ask. How could he ever turn him away now, with something like this?
Besides, he knows Steve. If he says no, Steve would try it alone. He can’t blame him. If there’d been a way for him to save Chrissy, at the end… he would’ve taken it in a heartbeat.
“Okay,” he says finally, smoothing a thumb over the back of Steve’s hand. He lifts it to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to Steve’s warm skin. “I’ll speak to Nancy, see what information she can get.”
He braves Nancy in the late morning. She’s up in the aviary, as usual, bent over stacks of papers on her table.
She looks up as he approaches, quill in her hand, and her frantic scratchings on the paper stop, if only briefly.
They haven’t spent much time together one-on-one since arriving at Skyhold. It’s strange, considering a decade ago she was one of the people who had known him best. They’d fought side by side to defeat the Archdemon, had traveled together for over a year as companions to Chrissy and Jeff. They’d mourned her death together, traded secrets and stories, and then life had separated them, and now… he finds himself tongue-tied in front of her. It’s somehow worse than if they’d been strangers.
“Wheeler,” is what he manages to get out, nodding at her. She raises an eyebrow, idly beginning to write again.
“Eddie,” she replies, dropping her eyes back down. One of the few people at Skyhold who actually refers to him by name instead of Inquisitor.
She looks tired, he notes. More tired than she ever has before, and that’s saying something.
“I spoke to Steve earlier.” At this, her head lifts back up, watching him. He twists one of his rings around his finger, nerves building in his stomach. “He… has an idea.”
Nancy doesn’t say anything, just watches him still, grey eyes fixed on him. There’s a curiosity in them, giving her away as the rest of her face is carefully blank.
The thing is, he knows it’s a crazy plan. Even if the Eluvian isn’t tainted, there’s too much unknown about them. The doorways could lead anywhere, and if they really do lead to the Fade, there’s nothing stopping a demon trying to use them to secure an escape. Steve’s dreams could be a demon trying to use him, he realises with a jolt. It’s not unheard of.
But… if anyone can do anything with the information, it’s Nancy.
He tells her everything. Steve coming to him for help, the Eluvian in Kirkwall, the dreams of the Fade. As soon as he mentions Robin, Nancy sits up straighter, looking more focused.
She agrees to the plan before he even finishes telling her everything, waving him away to sent word to her contacts for information.
From there, it’s a waiting game. Eddie’s conscious of how the more time that passes, the weaker Robin gets. If she is alive, stuck in the Fade, it’s incredible that she’d held out this long at all.
The Eluvian arrives a few days later, because Nancy’s a goddamn genius, and they move quickly from there. The three of them set it up in Steve’s room, careful to keep it hidden from everyone else as they maneuver it. It’s not that they don’t want to tell them, not exactly, but if they’d known, there’d be several of them clamouring to help, and they can’t risk that many people. Eddie had expected that to be the difficult part—it’s a huge mirror, for Maker’s sake—but somehow they get it there in one piece with everyone nonethewiser.
The mirror looks normal, mostly. Or rather, it doesn’t look tainted, not like how Jeff had described. This, at least, fills him with some hope that they’re not about to become mindless corpses.
“You’re sure you want to do this?” Nancy asks quietly. Eddie turns, seeing her looking at Steve. He’s looking at the Eluvian, his hand absentmindedly playing with something tied around his wrist. It’s almost missable, dark red fabric hidden by his coat sleeves, but he recognises it; it’s Robin’s favor. Robin had worn Steve’s around her left arm, blue fabric from his robes tied just above her elbow.
“I’m sure,” Steve says, his voice soft but firm. He turns to look at Nancy, his expression set, dark eyes shining. “I have to know, Nance. I can’t just leave her there.”
Nancy nods, securing her bow and arrows. She walks through first, disappearing through the shimmering surface. Steve’s next, leaving Eddie as the last to come through. He looks down at his hand, his palm softly glowing green, and steps through.
The place he steps out of is strange. It’s not much of a place at all, Eluvians seemingly leading to nowhere. There’s no sky, no ground, just an endless stretch of paths joining each mirror, thin white mist rolling around them.
“This is the Crossroads,” Nancy tells him, noticing him looking. “It’s like… an in-between. All the Eluvians lead here.”
Makes sense as to why the ancient elves didn’t need roads, then. Eddie follows behind the other two as they lead the way, inspecting each Eluvian surface. Unlike on the outside, the Eluvians look more like windows, each displaying a different location in its frame. Nancy leads them onwards, seeming to know what she’s looking for as she glances at some, closely inspects others.
Steve, he notices, is getting antsy, biting at his lip the more they walk. There might not even be an Eluvian connected to the Fade. What then?
“Here,” Nancy says, interrupting him, much to his relief. She’s stopped in front of one of the mirrors, this one showing a swirling, sickly green in its reflection. He feels a little nauseous just looking at it. It’s the Fade, alright.
“We need to be careful,” he says, putting out an arm before they can step through. “It’s not like when we fell through the rift. Demons can show you what you want to see, and they can be very tempting.”
Nancy nods, looking grim. She remembers as well as he does the sights they’d seen at the Ferelden Circle of Magi during the Blight. Demons running rampant, taking over people’s minds, showing them false realities nobody else could see. Making them doubt themselves, their realities, turning on their own allies.
“I know.” Steve’s expression turns serious. “I’ve got a lot of experience with the Fade. You’d be surprised how much persuasive they can be.”
Abruptly he remembers Steve does know. Dustin had told him stories of their time in Kirkwall, including when they’d been asked to help someone stuck dreaming in the Fade. Max and Steve had both been tempted by demons respectively— Max, by a desire demon who had promised her both a ship and her safety; Steve, by a pride demon who had offered him all the glory and honour his father had expected of him, to make him someone his father was proud of. It had been terrifying, Dustin had said, to see them both turn on him and Robin. It hadn’t lasted, obviously, and both of them had apologised endlessly, according to Dustin.
From the look in Steve’s eyes, he’s thinking about that time, too. Eddie grimaces.
“Whenever you’re ready, then.”
Steve nods, then disappears into the green mist.
“We’ll keep him safe,” Nancy says softly, touching his arm reassuringly. “He’s tough, you know.”
“I know.” Eddie stares into the green, the shimmering image of Steve waiting for him. “Doesn’t mean it makes me want to protect him any less, though.”
Nancy doesn’t say anything in response, a far-away look in her eyes. He wonders who she’s thinking about.
Then she steps through, and he follows.
The Fade is just as awful the second time around, which is saying something because the first time around they’d had some cocky wanna-be god whispering their worst fears to everyone.
They walk for what feels like hours. Maybe it is hours. Time passes differently in the Fade, there’s no real way to tell. How long has it been here since they escaped through the rift? Days? Weeks? Maybe only hours. Maybe only minutes.
Back during the Blight, they’d first met Hopper at the Circle of Magi, when everything went wrong there. He’d been trapped in one of the rooms for three days, tormented by the demons running rampant there. He’d almost lost his mind and that was in their world. To be trapped in the Fade, where time stretches endlessly on—
Eddie pushes the thought from his head and continues walking. He doesn’t voice his concerns, instead choosing to watch the way Steve walks, his determined strides, his head held high. He walks with purpose, turning left and right without stopping to question his path. Like he knows where he’s going, he realises, watching as Steve confidently takes another turn, picking his way clusters of rocks and raw lyrium veins without blinking.
Nancy follows his lead without question. It’s such an abrupt role reversal that there’s a moment where Eddie wonders if he is still dreaming. Then again, she’d known both Steve and Robin during their time at Kirkwall. She probably knew their dynamic perfectly. Yet another thing he’d missed out on, he thinks sorely, then mentally chides himself, forcing himself to focus.
He hates the Fade. Not for the first time, he silently thanks Wayne for keeping his magic hidden from the world instead of sending him to the nearest Circle. Apostates—mages who live outside of the Circles—may be hunted down mercilessly, but at least they don’t have to undergo the Harrowing. He can’t think of anything worse than being sent to the Fade as a test, forced to confront demons and resist temptation, where the pass is life in captivity and the fail is to be killed, or worse.
(He’d asked, once, what Wayne had meant by or worse. Wayne had given him a grim look and hadn’t elaborated. He’d found out when he was older that Wayne had been referring to being made Tranquil; mages who have their connection to the Fade severed, stripping them of not only their powers but their emotions, leaving them an empty shell of themselves. His mother’s fate, Wayne had told him sadly, and he hadn’t spoken much after that.)
Steve stops, suddenly, so abruptly that Eddie almost collides with his back.
“What?” he asks, but then he sees, too.
The Fade ahead of them has changed. No longer a barren landscape, but a decorated house, lit up by candlelight. A lit fireplace blazes warmly, illuminating a scrawny figure, not quite grown into her limbs.
Nancy frowns. “I don’t— Where is this?”
“She’s dreaming,” Eddie says, watching as the scene builds around them. “There’s a demon at play here.”
Steve’s face hardens. “Then we kill it,” he says, like it’s simple. “Where?”
“I don’t know.” He examines the surroundings. There’s two more figures now, standing in an open doorway, their backs to the three of them. One of them he recognises, the Grey Warden that had led Chrissy and Jeff through Ostagar, though he’s not wearing his blue and silver uniform here, instead dressed simply in an overcoat. There’s a woman by his side, long blonde hair tied up in a bun, dressed similarly. Both of them have bags. Neither of them look at the girl by the fireplace. “Steve, do you recognise this place?”
“No, I…” Steve pauses, looking at the two adults, then at the girl, his frown deepening. “That’s… Robin. Much, much younger.”
Eddie looks back at the girl. She can’t be older than fourteen, staring up at the people in front of her. “Robin was conscripted by the Grey Wardens?”
“What?” Steve blinks at him. Realisation dawns on his face. “Oh. Oh. No, this is—” He stops, frowning. “This is the day Robin’s parents left to join the Grey Wardens.”
It’s Eddie’s turn to blink at him. “That’s her dad?”
“You know him?” Nancy asks. Her gaze hasn’t left the version of Robin standing before them.
He shakes his head. “Not exactly. He was the one that conscripted Chrissy, from what she told me. I think he led the Wardens at Ostagar, he… he was killed by darkspawn.”
“Her mom didn’t survive the Joining,” Steve says, his tone softening as he watches the scene. “Not everyone does, that’s why they keep it a secret. Robin begged them to stay, but they wanted to be heroes. Her father wrote her a letter to tell her about her mother’s death, he didn’t even come to see her again. Then he was killed at Ostagar when Sullivan turned his army away.”
“If this is a memory, why would it be a demon’s work?” Nancy points out.
“There’ll be something,” Eddie says, stepping forward. He waits for the walls to start melting, for demons to come flying out, but nothing happens. Just Robin staring forward with a horrified look on her face.
Slowly, he turns to follow her gaze, facing her parents, and nearly jumps a mile. He’d known Robert Buckley’s face, but this— they’re both decaying, the flesh sagging off their bones, black veins rippling through their skin. Corrupted, just like the darkspawn.
Steve walks next to him, his face twisting when he sees what Eddie’s looking at.
“Ah,” he says, then turns to Robin. His eyes soften. “Robs, this isn’t real. You know that, right?”
“I know,” the girl says, and then she’s the Robin Eddie knows, nearly thirty years old, clad in her armour. There’s a stripe of red paint across her nose, Steve’s blue favor tied around her arm. Her armour’s bloody, though whether it’s her blood or a demon’s, he doesn’t know. Her eyes are dull, dark bags under them, and she sounds exhausted as she continues, “None of this is real.”
Steve reaches out for her, but she’s gone. Smoke in the wind, Eddie thinks, as the scene dissolves around them.
“Fear demon,” Eddie explains, seeing Steve’s face fall. “These are her fears.”
He pales slightly, but nods, his face set.
They keep walking. In the distance, another image starts to form. They must lead to Robin, Eddie’s almost sure of it, but he has no idea how many fears they’ll have to go through before they reach her.
“Follow the fears,” he says, hoping to lighten the mood. He thinks he sees Nancy crack a tight smile.
The new setting he recognises. From the way Steve stiffens, he’s sure Steve does, too.
They’re in the Deep Roads. Eddie’s been there only a few times before, back when Chrissy and Jeff sought out the dwarves for help against the Archdemon, so he’s surprised to find that Robin and Steve had been to the Deep Roads at all.
Three figures materialise. There’s Robin, almost a decade younger, her hair longer and tied in a loose ponytail. Steve’s beside her, around the same age, less scarred and dressed in slim armour. The third figure, he realises, is Vickie, her hair tied in a plait down her back. Her skin is practically grey, the telltale black veins of the taint visible through, and her eyes have a coppery sheen to them.
“Come on, Vic,” Robin’s saying, her voice desperate. “We’ll find someone, we’ll get help—”
Vickie rasps something out in response, her chest heaving, and they sink to the ground.
“Robin,” the younger Steve says, touching her shoulder, and the real Steve frowns.
“This isn’t how it happened,” he says. “We found Warden Jeff, remember? He saved Vickie, she became a Grey Warden, she’s okay.”
“Vickie,” Robin says again, begging now. “Don’t do this.”
“It’s too late,” the other Steve says solemnly. He hands Robin her dagger, looking at her meaningfully. On the floor, Vickie rasps, curling her hand around Robin’s wrist, her eyes pleading. “I’m sorry, Vickie, I’m so sorry.”
Robin sobs, clutching the dagger, and Vickie closes her eyes as the dagger cuts into her flesh. She doesn’t cry out, only stills, and Robin lets out another sob.
“Stop this,” Steve says, looking around desperately. “Whatever’s messing with her, stop it. ”
Robin’s head whips up, staring at him, wide-eyed. The image flickers, and she’s herself again, kneeling on the empty ground.
“Steve?” she whispers, and then she’s gone again, the fake Vickie and Steve fading away, too.
“Give her back,” Steve snaps, looking around frantically. His voice gets louder, “Give her back to me!”
“We need to keep going,” Nancy says, putting a hand on his shoulder. “The fears are a good thing. It means she’s alive.”
Steve’s breathing heavily, eyes alight with fury, but he nods. He sets his shoulders and strides forward, pushing past them both.
The fear demon, it seems, has no shortage of material. The longer they walk, the more images they walk through, the more Steve’s face hardens. Eddie watches as Max, years younger, is hauled away by Qunari warriors as Robin shouts for her, as Dustin is killed in an explosion of runes, as Lucas is impaled during a fight. He watches as Steve dies again, and again, and again: killed by Creel, controlled by blood mages, wounded in battle.
Steve dies in the Chantry explosion at Kirkwall. Steve dies at Haven. Steve dies at Skyhold. He dies, and he dies, and Robin is never with him, only finding his ruined body each time, her anguished screams piercing through Eddie’s ears.
The eighth time, as Robin unearths Steve’s broken body from ruins he doesn’t recognise, it’s Nancy that interrupts the scene.
“Robin.” Her voice is softer than Eddie's ever heard it. “You need to wake up. Fight it.”
“I can’t,” Robin says helplessly. She’s cradling Steve’s face in her hands, smoothing his hair from his face, and the sight of it makes Eddie ache.
Nancy kneels in front of her. Her hands clench into fists, as if she’s holding herself back from reaching out. It occurs to Eddie, suddenly, that Nancy might know Robin better than either of them had let on.
“Of course you can,” Nancy says. “Come on, sleepyhead. Don’t make me have to carry you out of here.”
Robin looks up, blinking into her current self, seeming confused. “Nancy? How are you…” She trails off, her brow furrowing. “You’re not here.”
Nancy reaches out a hand, tentative, and cups Robin’s cheek in her palm. Robin leans into it as if it’s instinct, her eyes fluttering closed.
“You can’t be here,” Robin whispers. She doesn’t open her eyes. Eddie can’t say he blames her.
“Tough luck, Buckley,” Nancy says lightly. Her eyes are watering. “Should’ve thought about that before you went and played the hero.”
“You love it when I play the hero,” she murmurs. “You think it’s sexy.”
Nancy lets out a watery laugh. “Only when you come back,” she tells her, stroking her thumb over Robin’s freckles. “Come back, Robin.”
She opens her eyes, finally. “Nancy.” Her voice cracks. “I’m afraid.”
“That’s okay.” Nancy’s whispering now, her voice so soft Eddie strains to hear it. “Come back anyway.”
Robin vanishes, leaving Nancy’s outstretched hand empty. Nancy gets up silently, taking a deep breath, giving a small, strained smile when Steve rubs her back. He’s tense, too, worry lines looking permanently etched into his skin.
“Thank you,” Steve says quietly, and Nancy just nods.
They’re getting closer now, Eddie can feel it. There’s a swirl of anxiety and fear in the air, enveloping them, sending shivers up his spine. The fear demon toying with Robin can’t be too far off, which means she can’t be, either.
Steve’s gone so pale that he’s a ghostly shade of white. He wonders if he’s remembering Creel’s taunts from last time.
Once again, Robin is in danger because of you, Steve. You found the red lyrium, you brought her here, he had crooned, and the words had hit their mark perfectly. Steve had visibly tensed up, looking distressed, soothed only by Robin hooking her arm through his and leading him onwards.
You brought it to fruition, his brain reminds him. Steve’s greatest fear was losing Robin and you stood by and let it happen.
He’d let it happen. The only reason Steve doesn’t hate him is because they’re here right now. If it’s too late to save Robin, if they can’t bring her back, Steve will hate him forever and he’ll deserve it.
Nancy’s hand lands on his shoulder. He jumps, startled, and she looks apologetic.
“Sorry,” she says. “You looked like you were… drifting.”
Fear demon. He’d thought it was a fear demon, but he doesn’t feel afraid, not exactly. He feels… hopeless, if anything. He mentally curses himself, realising he’s been looking in the wrong direction all along.
“It’s a despair demon,” he says, looking between her and Steve. “I was wrong. It’s not fear it’s feeding off, it’s despair.”
“Great,” Steve mutters.
“We’re not far off now,” he continues. “The worse you feel, the closer we are.”
Distantly, another setting starts to build, some indoor setting Eddie doesn’t recognise, different to the first one. Steve and Nancy clearly recognise it, though, judging by their expressions.
“This is the Harrington Estate,” Steve says, watching the scene construct itself. He sounds almost wistful. “It’s where we lived in Kirkwall.”
Eddie braces himself for another vision of Steve’s death, but only one figure materialises. Robin paces in front of the fireplace, her eyes fixed on a letter in her hands. She looks the same as she did at Skyhold, down to the blue favor on her arm and the red paint strip across her nose, but she’s not in her armour. She’s wearing dark finery, and somehow the sight of her out of her armour makes her look far wearier, less like the Champion of Kirkwall and more like… just a woman.
“I… don’t understand,” Steve says slowly.
Robin doesn’t look at him, not raising her head from the letter.
“I came back here, after everything.” Her voice is quiet. “Never for long, of course, but… often enough. It was never the same with all of you gone.”
She sets the letter down on a desk, turning back to the fireplace. Eddie sidles over to it, reading it silently. It’s signed as written by Nancy, informing Robin of everyone’s well-being at Skyhold, of how much better everyone’s faring there. He vaguely recalls the letter, actually. Nancy had claimed to be writing to an old friend, and he’d thought maybe she was sending a letter to Gareth, or Anthony, or even Jeff, at the time. He’d snuck a look at the letter when she wasn’t looking, instead finding it talking of everyone who had joined the Inquisition from Kirkwall.
This text is wrong, though, twisted. Nancy’s letter had been heartfelt, to the point where he’d felt bad for reading it. This letter is cold, emphasising the benefit of being away from Kirkwall, away from Robin.
Steve had told him, once, while they were entwined under the covers together in the early hours of morning, that it broke his heart for Robin to leave. It had been back before he’d invited Robin to Skyhold, when he was still pretending that he had no idea of her whereabouts, sticking to the lie that she’d fled Kirkwall when everything broke out and he’d lost track of her. He had lied to protect her, Eddie knows now, to keep her far away from any more danger. Hopper had been furious when Steve had finally called for Robin, furious that Steve had lied to him for so long, and Steve had snapped, rounding on him, spitting out angry words. You know what I think? If Robin had been at that temple, she’d be dead too. You people have done enough to her.
Robin wouldn’t have known any of this, though. Not fully. She’d have known to some degree, enough to stay hidden away and to hide her contact with them, but from her perspective? Her friends—her whole family —had gone to Skyhold to help save the world and left her behind. Everyone but her had gone—Steve, Max, Lucas and Erica, Dustin, all three of the Byers, El, the Binghams.
“It was never the same without you, you know,” Eddie says, surprising even himself. Robin turns to look at him, her brows knitted together, and he continues, “They’d never say it outwardly, but I could tell I was a poor substitution.”
She’s watching him, now, bright blue eyes fixed on him. He twists one of his rings around, feeling braver.
“Sometimes I’d catch Max looking around for your reaction to something stupid happening. She’d be grinning, turning to tell you, and then her face would fall and she’d go quiet. She’d never answer when I asked her if something was the matter, but I caught on.” He smiles slightly, feeling Steve and Nancy’s eyes on his back. “Dustin worships you. Talks about you all the time. I mean shit, Buckley, you left some big boots to fill. Can’t even impress them by beating up Creel ‘cause you did it first.”
“None of them ever needed me,” she says, like she’s challenging him.
“Maybe not.” He shrugs, aware she’s watching his every movement. “They miss you, though. They want you around. That’s gotta be worth something, right?”
Robin studies him, folding her arms around herself, an almost self-conscious movement.
“It’d be real nice if you could come back,” he adds, standing to block the letter from her sight. “I’m starting to feel left out, you know. Everyone harping on about how great Robin Buckley is and I don’t even get the chance to know her.”
“Inquisitor,” she says, slowly, like she’s trying the word out. She wrinkles her nose, and then, warmer, “Eddie.”
“Champion,” he mimics, then smiles softly. “Robin.”
She disappears once more, taking the Harrington estate with her, leaving him blinking in the green mist. There’s a cliff in the far distance, and somehow he knows that’s the place to go.
He walks forward, leading Steve and Nancy on, and they don’t talk. The air is heavier now, like a weight on their shoulders, and he thinks he can make out distant shapes when another area starts to construct itself.
Oddly enough, it’s not too different this time, the green of the Fade still clouding everything as the figures materialise. He recognises Robin, and Steve, and Dustin and Max, and—
Ah. He knows of this one. That explains the lack of change in scenery; this one takes place in the Fade.
Max lies on the ground, face down, her red hair obscuring her face. She’s far too still, motionless in a way he’s never seen her. Steve stands beside her, also unnaturally still but standing upright. Robin’s opposite him, her daggers in her hands, Dustin just behind her, as if she’s shielding him.
The fake Steve is also wrong. There’s a spark of orange in his eyes, which are cold, far too cold. This isn’t Steve, he realises, not in the way the other Steves have been Steve.
This is the Steve that took the deal with the pride demon, in a world where Robin doesn’t get to save them. Max, on the floor, must be dead after her deal with the desire demon.
“Don’t do this.” Robin’s voice trembles. Her hands are shaking around her daggers, he notices. She’s positioned herself to hide Dustin from view, trying to block his view of Steve and Max.
“As if he would resist.” The voice that bubbles out of Steve is eerily deep, like someone’s taken his voice and distorted it. “You are a fool, girl.”
“Let him go,” she spits, and the demon laughs.
“I don’t need to,” not-Steve sneers, and Steve’s sword is in his hands, facing her. “He comes willingly. You really think he would choose you over his father’s respect?”
She ignores him. “Steve,” she pleads, taking a step forward, her daggers lowering. Not-Steve looks past her, seeing Dustin readying his bow, and snarls.
It happens too quickly to react. Not-Steve lunges at Dustin and Robin throws herself in the way, stabbing both her daggers into his chest. Not-Steve gasps, the orange leaving his eyes, and staggers backwards. When he looks up at her, his breath shuddering, there’s clear betrayal and hurt in his expression.
“Robin?” he croaks, so small he sounds like a child, and collapses. Robin sinks to her knees next to him.
“Stevie, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she gasps, her hand on his shoulder. “You were going to— I couldn’t let you—”
“You were— my friend,” Not-Steve chokes out, blood beginning to leak from his lips, and Robin chokes back a sob. “W—Why?”
“Now that’s just insulting,” Steve, the real Steve, says, and Robin looks up, tears in her eyes. “Stab him again for good measure.”
Robin hesitates, looking down at the dying Steve on the floor, then back up at the real Steve.
“You’re dreaming, Robs,” he says, gentler now. “Time to wake up, yeah?”
“I don’t know how to,” she admits, clenching her bloodied hands into fists. She flickers, and she’s back to normal, kneeling next to nothing. She’s still looking at Steve, her hands coated in blood. “I’m so tired, Steve.”
Steve bends down, ever so slightly, and holds out his hand towards her. She moves one of her hands and then hesitates, seeing the blood coating them.
“I’ll stain your hands with blood,” she whispers, half-curling her fingers back into her palm.
“So stain them,” Steve says, reaching out and taking her hand, interlacing their fingers. “I don’t care.”
He pulls her upwards, and she stands, gripping his hand tightly.
“You’ll be there?” Her voice wavers. “When I wake up?”
Steve smiles at her, his eyes suspiciously wet. “Aren’t I always?”
Robin seems to take this in, squeezing his hand, and finally disappears. As the scene melts away, Eddie realises they’re at the cliffside. There’s a small cove tucked away, and he can see Robin’s slumped there, lying amongst rocks and rubble. A few paces away from her sits a hooded creature, loose grey flesh hanging visible below its robes— the despair demon. Its huge, gaping mouth is open, facing her direction, the feel of hopelessness radiating off of it.
Nancy’s readying her bow without him needing to speak. Steve charges him, swinging his sword with a loud yell, and the demon turns, slow, sluggish. Nancy’s arrow finds its target in one of its eyes, and Eddie lets his palm light up with a fireball, only sending it free once he’s sure Robin’s out of range.
Since the demon’s been sapping Robin for Maker knows how long, it’s substantially weaker than it should be. Still, Steve’s movements are reckless in his attack, and though he’s the one to deal the killing blow and reduce it to ashes, Eddie sees the blood that drips from his side, staining his clothing.
Steve doesn’t even blink, immediately turning to Robin and crouching down beside her. His hands hover above her, like he’s afraid to touch her for fear of her disappearing again.
“Robin,” he murmurs, finally reaching forward to tuck her hair behind her ear. “Robs, it’s me, I’m here, I’ve got you.”
For a moment, Robin doesn’t so much as twitch, and Eddie’s heart sinks, fearing the worst.
But then she stirs, letting out a low groan, and her eyes slowly open, hazy and unfocused.
“Stevie?” she mumbles, and Steve lets out a soft, relieved laugh.
“The one and only,” he agrees, leaning forward so that his forehead rests against hers. She clumsily squeezes his hand, turning her head just enough that she spots Nancy and Eddie behind him. Nancy drops down to her knees besides them, taking Robin’s other hand.
“Hey, you,” Robin manages, giving her a weary smile. Nancy manages a teary smile in return, gently smacking her arm.
“Never do that again,” she says firmly, her relief clear.
“But I got such a nice rescue party,” Robin jokes, and then winces as Nancy smacks her arm again. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Never again, so long as I can help it.”
“You better help it,” Steve says, and then they’re both helping her up and Eddie finds himself standing face-to-face with her.
“Uh,” he says dumbly, suddenly self-conscious. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Robin repeats. She’s leaning against Steve, letting him support her weight. He suspects that she can’t quite stand by herself.
To his surprise, though, she pulls him into a one-armed hug. He wraps his arms around her instinctively, even though the spikes of her shoulder plate jab painfully into his chest.
“Thank you,” she says into his hair, quiet enough that Steve and Nancy won’t overhear. “For this, and for keeping them safe.”
“Don’t thank me yet, Max might break your kneecaps when we get out of here,” he replies, smiling slightly.
“Speaking of…” They pull apart, finding Nancy squinting past them. “The sooner we’re out of here, the better.”
“Right.” Eddie focuses, his palm glowing a faint green as he summons a healing circle, not trusting either of the two injured ones not to collapse on the journey back. Steve breathes in deeply, his cuts slowly sewing themselves back up, and some of Robin’s injuries get smaller. It’s not perfect, and they’ll definitely have to get properly checked out back at Skyhold, but it’ll last them the journey out, at least.
The walk back to the Eluvian is surprisingly short. Then again, the Fade moves around; it had probably been messing with them through the distorted memories, making them walk farther than they’d needed to. Eddie makes Steve and Robin hobble through first, then Nancy, and finally follows behind them, breathing in the familiar air of Steve’s room.
“I’ll arrange for it to be sent back to Kirkwall tomorrow,” Nancy says, gesturing at the mirror. She turns to Robin, the faintest fond expression on her face. “You and Steve will be visiting the Byers for a medical check-up at the first opportunity, trust me.”
“I’d expect nothing less,” Robin replies ruefully. “Don’t suppose they’ll go easy on the invalid?”
Nancy rolls her eyes. “You’ll be lucky if they only call you an idiot three times.”
“Each?”
“Each.”
Robin shakes her head. “I look forward to it,” she says, and Nancy laughs.
“I’ll give you some space,” she says, nodding at Steve. “You have an hour before I unleash them, though.”
Steve smiles at her now, looking grateful. “Thanks, Nance.”
Nancy nods, looking back at Robin once more, and slips through the doorway, leaving the two of them with Eddie. He feels like he’s intruding, all of a sudden, and clears his throat.
“I’ll, ah, leave you be, too,” he says, taking a step towards the door.
“Eddie?” He turns back, finding Steve standing. Before he can reply, Steve steps forward, pulling him into a soft kiss. Eddie all but melts in his hold, his lips warm against his mouth, and allows himself to have this short moment before pulling away, feeling his own lips spreading into something fond. “Thank you.”
Eddie smiles at him, feeling the tips of his ears burn red, oddly shy. Robin, behind them, is pretending to be fascinated with the pillow on Steve’s bed, not-so-discreetly giving them their moment together.
“Happy to help,” Eddie says truthfully, and Steve smiles at him, his eyes bright, warm again for the first time in weeks. It occurs to him just how much he’d missed seeing him like this.
Steve turns back to Robin, his expression softening further, and Eddie backs out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him. It’s been a long time since they’ve successfully saved someone, he thinks. Chrissy would be happy that two heroes don’t have to die, and that’s a hopeful enough thought that he finds himself smiling to himself, the ache in his chest only faint at the thought of her.
He hopes Robin will stick around. He hadn’t been lying about everyone missing her, but most of all—maybe selfishly—he’d like to have her around, too. He’ll have to grill Nancy when he has a chance— he hadn’t missed those exchanges between them.
As he walks the way back to his own room, his spirits are lifted, and for the first time in a while, he finds himself hopeful.