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“I’m tellin’ ya folks, I’m not that sic- AAHHHH-CHOOOOOOOO!” Howdy let out a sneeze that practically shook the entire bodega. Frank’s face scrunched up in disgust.
“Mister Pillar, no offense, but-“ Frank shook her head as Julie passed Howdy a box of tissues with a sympathetic look. “At this rate, you’ll be spewing your salivary bacteria all over your merchandise! And I, quite frankly, wouldn’t spend my hard-earned money on defective products.”
Howdy’s antenna buzzed with irritation. Taking a tissue from the box and swinging it around as he spoke, he exclaimed, “I could sell that if I wanted! ‘Howdy Pillar’s Genuine Quick-Stop Sick Line! Guaranteed to keep you home from school, work, and any other unwanted activities-‘ Aw, who am I kidding? That sounds disgusting!” He blew his nose, letting out a sound similar to that of a depressed trumpet blast.
Sally Starlet sat by his bed, shaking her head with dismay. “Oh, poor sweet Howardson- doomed to wither away upon his bedsheets, never to work again!” She brought her hand to her forehead dramatically, a single tear coming to her eye. Julie and Barnaby let out simultaneous gasps.
“Sally! Now that’s not a very nice thing to say- Howdy’s gonna be feeling riper than a raspberry in the rich soil of Frank’s garden in just a few days!” Julie protested, placing her hands on her hips as she looked upon Sally with narrowed eyes. Barnaby, meanwhile, had taken to Howdy’s bedside- and was holding one of the caterpillar’s hands, on his knees, like a mourning wife.
“Howdy! Pal! Big Buddy! Store-owner of mine! You can’t go into the light!” He said dramatically. “No one knows how to make a hot dog like you! I can’t go on without you!”
Despite his state, Howdy let out a flat chuckle at this. He solemnly pat Barnaby on the back with his other free hand. “Oh, Barns, you know I’d never die without making you one last painted bloodhound before winter!”
Howdy’s last hand balled into a fist as he continued, a look of anger passing over his face. He exclaimed, “Besides, if I did go, that no-good brother of mine Hank Pillar would be in here faster than you can say hullabaloo to collect the insurance on this place! And you know I’d never let that happen!”
“Then, um, dear- I do think it would be best if you rested for a while,” Poppy said gently, entering the room with Wally at her heels, the three-apples tall fellow carrying a bowl of hot, steaming soup. Despite Poppy’s gentle demeanor, she stayed over by the doorway, far away from Howdy’s bed. No doubt the bird woman was filled with a fear of his germs infecting and, potentially, killing her. Howdy seemed to know this and glared at her, silently sizing her up as if to observe whether it would be difficult for him to make a break for it or not.
His decision was made for him, however, as Wally held up that hot bowl of soup to Howdy. “Poppy and I made this for you,” he said slowly, that signature calm smile of his staying upon his face. “I hope you like it, ha ha ha.”
Howdy let out a long sigh and, removing one hand from Barnaby and setting down the tissue he held in the other, took the soup. “Thanks, shrimp,” he grumbled. He sniffed and began to eat the soup in silence, much to Barnaby’s horror.
“Only two words?! Boy Howdy, you must be feelin’ more awful than we thought!” He said, removing his hat and placing it upon his heart. Howdy let out a pity laugh at that before coughing once again.
“I hate to admit it, but I am feeling pretty out of it,” he sighed as he swirled the spoon around in his soup. “But I can’t just close up my shop for days at a time!” He sniffed, tears coming to his eyes. “My sales- my sales! They’d drop lower than someone buried six feet under! I’d never recover!”
“Not to mention we’ll be left without any food or essentials for the next several days!” Sally added in, unintentionally feeding into the caterpillar’s wallowing. Frank cast her a look, part of his brow raised.
“Do you not have any food in your home, Sally?” He asked dryly, to which Sally scoffed and brought a hand to her chest in offense.
“Ex-cusez-moi? I have plenty of food saved up, dearest Franklin. A star is always prepared for when worst comes to worst,” she protested with a huff. “I’m merely speaking on behalf of our other more quiet neighbors, who may not have the mental fortitude to speak for themselves!”
“Why thank you, dear,” Poppy said with a hesitant smile. Sally waved her hand dismissively.
“It’s no problem, Poppy,” she replied, still glaring at Franklin. The pair were still engaged in their staring contest when Julie suddenly popped up between them with a loud gasp.
“Oh, oh!” She said, waving her arms around with excitement. “What if we didn’t close the bodega?!”
This was enough for Frank to break his gaze away from Sally’s. He gave Julie a quizzical look. “But, Julie, Mister Pillar can’t work while he’s sick like this-“
“Who said Howdy had to work it?” She said, grinning from ear to ear. She clapped her hands together excitedly. “I had the most splendorificously stupendous solution that will solve ALL our problems!”
“And that would be…?” Frank said with hesitation. Julie’s ideas tended to be a little… out-there at times. For all anyone knew, this could turn into some kind of event where she wanted to build a contraption that would do all of Howdy’s tasks around the bodega for him. Which, besides being very out-there in terms of concept and their abilities, was just entirely outside the realm of reality.
Julie hopped in place ecstatically, her eyes wide and flitting around to an almost intimidating degree. “What if we all worked at the bodega!”
“What.” Both Howdy and Frank said in dry unison.
“Ohh, don’t give me those looks!” *she said, puffing out her cheeks in frustration for a moment before that look of excited determination returned once again. “We could all take turns every day this week working at the bodega! So it keeps running, so we can still buy all of Howdy’s simply scrumptious products, and so our favorite catering caterpillar Howdy gets to get his resting on!”
The room was silent for a moment as they all considered the idea. All things considered, it wasn’t a bad one. In fact, Howdy thought as he let out another congested sniff, it was a decently bang-up plan. There were a few problems, though…
“And how do I know that you’ll run my business the way I intended?” He said suspiciously, his eyes squinted as he gazed at Julie. She let out a chuckle.
“Don’t you worry even a wallowing moment about that, Howdy! We all know how much this place means to you, we’d never-ever let it go under! Unless, of course, the market called for it,” she said with a laugh. Howdy didn’t look very reassured, until suddenly Barnaby clapped a paw onto his back.
“Don’t worry, Howdy,” he said as he placed his hat back upon his head. “As yer top pooch of the place, I’ll come in every day and make sure they’re sell in’ things the Pillar Way. And you’ll be the first one t’know if I sniff out any foul play.”
He leaned over and added in a stage whisper (loud enough that everyone could hear), “I’ll have t’keep a good eye on that Frank, though- guy lost his funny bone a looong time ago! Tibia honest, Howdy, I wouldn’t trust him with the bugdega if my life depended on it!”
“Barnaby!” Frank exclaimed as that pun threw Howdy into a fit of laughter, followed closely by a coughing fit in which Barnaby had to quickly grab hold of Howdy’s still-full bowl of soup as to not allow the pillar to spill it all over himself. He scooted a watching Wally behind him, so he couldn’t get sprayed by any of the sickly saliva caused from the coughing.
“Alright- alright,” Howdy finally wheezed once the coughs had died down. “I… suppose I can agree to that. As long as my bodega doesn’t come crashing down on me, stocks and all, I’ll-“ he shivered in fear. “-take a few days off.”
“Excellent!” Sally said, standing up. She clapped her hands together. “Now, we best get to planning who takes what day, hm? I suppose I can take the first day, tomorrow- it may be a bit tight for my script-writing, but I don’t have any rehearsals scheduled.”
“This was Julie’s idea, why are you-“ Frank began, only to be interrupted by an excited Julie.
“Oh, oh! I call terrifically tremendous Tuesdayyy!” She said in a sing-song voice. Frank let out a sigh.
“Frankly, I’d rather not, but- I suppose I will take Wednesday,” *he said, crossing his arms. Julie let out a whoop.
“As a punful pooch myself, it’d be a crime if I didn’t take a day. I’ll take Thursday,” Barnaby said, pulling up his tie pridefully as he spoke. Wally looked up at him curiously.
“Should I be taking a day too, Barnaby?” He asked slowly, bringing a finger to his chin. Barnaby laughed and clapped him playfully on the shoulder.
“Nah, little buddy, you and Poppy have to take care of Howdy!” He said with a smile. He leaned down and actually whispered this time, “You know how she gets around germs, Walls…”
“How does Poppy get around germs, Barnaby?” He whispered back, though it was loud enough for most people in the room to hear.
“I dunno Walls, but if I had to guess, sick,” Barnaby replied with a grin. Howdy overheard this and went into a fit of laughter once again.
Poppy sighed and fiddled with her feathers anxiously. “If Wally and I can’t take Friday, then… who will?” She said fretfully, a frown gracing her beak. Her concern was quickly met with the familiar tinkling of the bell above the bodega’s door and grunting from the main room.
“I’m back! I’m back- oh, pardon me ma’am-“ Came the familiar southern drawl of the local mailman, Eddie Dear. He squeezed past Poppy in the doorway, who uttered very quick, fearful apologies and bawks at his sudden arrival.
The orange-felted mailman let out a few heavy breathes as he entered the room, and held up a small box. “I’m terribly sorry about takin’ so long- you know how it is, you go in a room with one goal in mind and then you just forget why you went in their in the first place!” He said, shaking his head with a sigh and an apologetic smile. “Took me a moment t’even remember that I’d forgotten somethin’, and then when I did I had to remember what I’d even forgotten! Finally came t’me, though, and I grabbed that medicine ya needed, Howdy-!”
Eddie paused as he saw them all staring at him. He blinked and his sheepish smile slowly faded into a look of concern. “What’s wrong? Do I… got somethin’ on my face?”
Frank was the first to speak up. “Well, it’s decided then,” he said, turning to the rest of the group. “Mister Dear will take Friday, and someone else can take his place as the mailman for that day.”
Eddie blinked and said, “Say what now-“ Before being quickly interrupted by Julie letting out a cheer.
“Yay! This’ll be so much fun!” She whooped. “C’mon, Frank, I need you to help me pick out my ‘serious store-clerk’ outfit! Oh, should it be blush pink or coral pink? Ah, so many choices!” In spite of himself, Frank let out a quiet chuckle.
“Ha, yes, okay, I’m coming,” he said, shaking his head with a smile. Julie took his hand and eagerly pulled him out of the room, the pair brushing past Poppy and a very confused Eddie on the way out.
Once they were gone, Sally sighed and brought a hand to her forehead once again. She said, “I best be going as well! The stage- nor the production- waits for no one, and I’ll need to work double time to get all of my scripts done before my shift! Au revoir, dearest neighbors. Get well soon, Howardson!” With a twirl and a bow, the great Sally Starlet exited stage right.
Howdy glared pointedly at Eddie, who quickly straightened up like he was being inspected by a commander in the army. “I’ll be keeping an eye on you most, Mailman. Don’t think I won’t be inspecting my wares and checking for any inconsistencies in my stocks,” he said, his voice full of warning and threat. Eddie’s eyes widened and he nodded quickly.
“Uh- yes, right, ‘course Howdy- I- I mean, Mister Pillar, sir!” He said hurriedly, saluting the bug man. “I- I don’t really understand what you mean but, uh- yes, sir, anyway!”
Eddie quickly turned to skedaddle, before suddenly remembering he still was holding onto the medicine. “Oh! Uh- right- here ya go, Ma’am.” He handed the box of medicine off to Poppy, offering her a nervous smile before quickly taking his leave as well. Poppy glanced at the box for a moment.
“Oh dear, it looks like the box is taped shut.. hm…” she fiddled with it nervously, before looking to Wally. “Wally, would you, um, be a darling and help me open this? I’m sure there are some s-s-scissors out in the bodega.”
“But I am a Darling, Poppy,” Wally said, blinking slowly as he smiled up at the much-taller bird woman in mild confusion. He followed her out of the room, leaving Howdy and Barnaby alone.
Once it was just the pair, Howdy sighed and leaned back against his pillows, his eyes shutting. “Barns, I need to be frank with ya.”
“Be Frank with me? I’d rather you just be Howdy.” Barnaby joked lightly, though he received nothing more than a light smirk from the caterpillar.
“I’m serious, Barns- I didn’t want to say much infront of that Julie there- I tell ya, she shines brighter than the sun after a stormy day, and is just as intense too! Hard to say no to her when she gets an idea,” he said, shaking his head. “But I have my doubts about this plan. Full disclosure, Barns, but you’ve been in my store enough times to know the ins and outs like no other!”
His mouth stretched into a thin frown and the caterpillar ran a hand through his messed-up hair. “But the rest of them ain’t like you- they’re going to my strange up, I just know it! I can feel it in my antennae!” Howdy’s antennae wiggle with anxiety as he spoke, as if to display his point. A slight frown came to Barnaby’s muzzle for a moment, before he put back on his signature Barnaby Grin™️.
“Come on Howdy, have a little faith in yer neighbors! They’re all happy t’help ya,” he said. Howdy scoffed.
“A little too happy if you ask me… I tell ya, I’ll never trust that mailman! Something real fishy about him- and he always jabbers on and on about this and that!” he mumbled that last part, but with his super-sensitive dog hearing Barnaby picked up on it real quickly. He let out a short laugh.
“All I’m sayin is, none o’them- not even Eddie’s- gonna do anything t’purposely sabotage this place! Not if I have anything t’say about it, anyway,” Barnaby said, tilting his chin up a bit proudly as he spoke. “As yer number one pal and customer, I’ll keep’em in line. I already told ya that, and I’ll be keepin’ that promise to ya.”
Howdy hesitantly opened one eye, peeking at Barnaby with an air of uncertainty. “You’re 100% certain ya won’t let those fellas screw around in my shop?” He asked warily.
“Pooch’s honor!” He said, raising his free paw as if he was making a vow to Howdy. After a long moment of thinking, Howdy finally relented.
“Fine. I trust you, Barns.” He sighed. His congested voice then turned stern as he added, “But if I find any bananas out of place, any cuckoo clock uncuckooed, any cash registers out of order… you’ll be hearing from me first!”
Barnaby let out a laugh at that. “Course, course, I wouldn’t expect nothin’ less,” he replied. Barnaby passed Howdy the soup bowl he had been holding for him. “Now c’mon, eat yer soup before it gets cold.”
“Ain’t hungry, Barns,” he grumbled, closing his eyes again and turning his head away. Barnaby squinted at him and nudged the pillar.
“Ey- Ey- gotta have something in yer gut before ya take yer meds, Howds.” He said, taking the spoon out of the bowl as if he was going to feed the caterpillar himself. He waved it around a little, letting the aroma get closer to the sick caterpillar. “Besides, ain’t it smell good? I’d chow on it myself if I could! Don’t like a starving pooch suffer, holdin’ out food that he can’t have!”
After a few moments of this, Howdy relented with a chuckle. “Fiiine, ya twisted my arm- only for you, Barns,” he sighed, taking the lukewarm soup. He finally began to eat once again as Barnaby watched on with a smug smile. He grumbled, “Oh quit lookin’ at me like that.”
“Like what?” Barnaby said innocently, grinning widely before standing up. “Anyway, I better go check on my little buddy and Poppy before anything spirals outta control-“
Just as he said that, there came a terrified squawk from the main room of the bodega. Barnaby flinched, then chuckled nervously. “Yep, that’ll be my queue. See ya in a bit, Howdster!” Barnaby quickly left the room, and his exit was quickly followed by much squawking from Poppy as well as a bit of laughter from Barnaby at whatever troublesome situation had occurred out there. Howdy let out another deep sigh and then a cough.
“Oh, what’ve I gotten myself into?” He mumbled.