Work Text:
Halloween was legendary in the Gryffindor dorms, but this year they had truly outdone themselves. Everything they could enchant to make the night better they did; never ending spiked punch, self cleaning charms on the floors and walls, and not to mention the fantastic costumes they had. James and Sirius were pirates with fake guns that fired shots of firewhiskey instead of confetti, Peter was using polyjuice to dress as Dumbledore and was handing socks out to anyone that spoke to him, and Remus’ costume was a surprise- at least Sirius didn’t know what is was.
Sirius had been drinking for a few hours at this point in the party and was pretty drunk. He had promised himself that this year would be the year he would confess his feelings for his friend. So far he was failing miserably at that, every time he got close to saying anything at all James or Pete would burst in on them. This time Sirius had finally thought far enough ahead to tell them to leave him alone if he got the chance tonight. The only variable left in his plan was Remus, who had been absent since their last class. He had claimed to be getting ready for the night but Sirius was beginning to think it was just a clever way of avoiding the party all together. He’d probably joke that he was the invisible man as his costume.
“Hey mate,” James seemed to materialize next to him. “Still no sign of him?” James frowned at him from beneath a crooked pirate hat, his shirt had been partially unbuttoned and there were multiple shades of lipstick marks on his collar bone. James looked as if he had been drinking for days as he swayed slightly even standing still.
“You might want to call it Jamie,” Sirius laughed and fixed his friend's hat. “You look like you've been passed around the crew.”
James frowned and looked down in surprise, as if just realizing the kisses covering him. “Oh! Those, yeah the girls said I didn’t look pirate-y enough whatever that means.” He rubbed at the marks absentmindedly, smearing the colors into something that resembled a bruise.
“Whatever you say Prongs, listen though I-” Sirius was cut off by swallowing his own tongue. Across the room was an image he wanted burned into his memory forever. Remus Lupin was standing in the doorway of the common room looking for someone. Normally that would be a sight enough to stop Sirius dead in his thoughts but this was something else entirely. Remus was wearing a red flannel totally unbuttoned showing off every silvery scar on his torso, the sleeves rolled up to reveal his forearms. But the thing that really set Sirius in a tailspin was the tight fitting blue jeans that seemed to be made just for Remus to wear, like he had painted them on.
“That’s my cue!” James slapped him on the back and disappeared into the crowd around them. Just then Remus caught his eyes and it felt like the whole world stopped. It was just them, only ever them. Sirius felt both frozen to the ground and like he was spinning a million miles an hour. The drinks made his brain fuzzy but the look Remus was giving him made his brain short circuit.
*************************************
Remus was going to skip the party, at this point he might as well. It had been two hours since the party started and he still didn’t like his costume. It felt wrong to be wearing so little, even if he was technically fully clothed. The flannel had started out only unbuttoned half way, but after looking at it for too long he buttoned it up all the way again. That had looked too stuffy though so he was now, and had been, buttoning and unbuttoning the first three buttons over and over again for what had to have been an hour by now.
That was how Lily found him, absolutely freaking the fuck out- over buttons on a shirt. She looked surprised at first to see him, the room of requirement was a secret among only their closest friends so it was hardly ever being used when one of them needed it, and she had had the same thought of getting ready here after her Prefect rounds.
“What are you doing here?” She asked like it wasn’t obvious and that knocked on Remus’ already frayed nerves.
“I’m committing a murder,” he didn’t look away from his image in the mirror, adjusting his hat while he spoke. “I’m trying to get ready for the party.”
“I mean why are you still here?” She crossed the room and started fiddling with his hat as well, shifting it so it sat at a slight angle.
“I don’t like my costume, okay. Either help or shut up.” He huffed.
“All you have to do is this,” all of a sudden she had grabbed Remus’ shirt by either side and was ripping it open. Buttons scattered across the floor as Remus looked on in horror as he was completely exposed to his friend.
“What the fuck Evans!” Remus shouted as he reached for his wand to fix it. Before he could do that Lily was pulling out the part he had tucked into his pants and grinning at him.
“There,” she said firmly. “Now get out.” She didn’t give him time to look in the mirror and certainly no time to fix his shirt before she shoved him out the door. It vanished as she slammed it behind him. No turning back. Great, just great.
He made his way to the common room easy enough, passing by other students trying to sneak back to their respective houses most of which seemed sober enough but the occasional student did look like they were going to have a hard time on the moving stairs. One even handed him a glass of something that smelled like straight rubbing alcohol as he passed her. Without thinking too much about it he slammed the drink before entering the dorm. The foul tasting liquid spread warmly through his veins and he regretted not pregaming more at the feeling. Suddenly he didn't care as much that he technically wasn’t wearing a shirt. Looking around the room he didn’t see any of his friends. Not that he was really looking for James or Peter, but that was beside the point. Thankfully just as he was about to call the party a bust, which was bold for a guy that hadn’t even been there five minutes, he caught Sirius’ gaze.
Sirius was standing by the snack and drink table looking like more of a meal than anything Remus had seen at any feast in the Great Hall. His white shirt was see through and it looked like he had woven gold into his curls, that along with his makeup made his eyes even more striking than they usually were. Goddamn Remus was so gone for him.
The look on Sirius’ face was almost enough to make the party worth it, his eyes were wide in shock and his mouth hung slightly agape like the wind had been knocked out of him. Remus was sure he didn’t look any less enthralled by the image before him. Sirius was godly on regular days, but today it was like he had been blessed by some deity to look like perfection itself. He ducked his head to hid the blush forming on his cheeks but when he looked back he had lot Sirius in the mass of people. Remus was going to need another drink if he was going to keep a semi level head, or at least as an excuse for when he embarasses himself later. Lucky for him alcohol was never a short supply at parties. A quick glance around the room and it was easy to locate the second table of drinks, Remus helped himself to something brightly colored and strong smelling before trying to find Sirius in the crowd again.
Unfortunately for him that was not going to be the simple task he had hoped for because not one second after he finished his drink Dumbledore- well Pete as Dumbledore- was handing him another drink. He had tried to refuse but only half heartedly, a third drink was probably not a good idea, but neither was letting his friends join him for the moons and well, he can't really say no to them. As he and Dumble-Pete finished their drinks he handed Remus a pair of brightly colored socks with pixies on them.
“A trick can be a treat in the end if one only remembers to look on the sweet side,” Dumble-Pete said as he backed into the crowd, disappearing as oddly as he came. Remus shook his head and hoped it was just the alcohol that made that almost make sense. Peter had really outdone himself this year, Remus could almost believe it was really their headmaster.
Remus tried for a while to find Sirius but before he could Lily arrived and she wasn’t about to let him stand in his corner and watch like he usually did at parties. It took a few more drinks but eventually she did drag him onto the dance floor.
***************************************
Sirius had practically watched Remus walk into the party, how was it possible that he looked away for 2 minutes and lost him. After almost an hour Sirius was about to give up and go look for him out by the smoking spot when a commotion on the dance floor stopped him dead. Remus Lupin of all people was climbing up on a table singing and dancing to AC/DC’s “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” waving his hat in the air like a bull rider as he thrust his hips to the beat of the song. Lily screamed and laughed, egging him on as he belted out the chorus, his rough voice doing terrible and wonderful things to Sirius.
He watched as Remus finished out the song by stealing Lily’s drink and downing it so quickly some spilled down the front of him, but Sirius seemed to be the only one who noticed that. Swaying so hard Surius thought he might fall off the table, Remus lumbered down and staggered towards the stairs for their dorm room. Sirius couldn’t help but follow, hoping he might finally get his chance to talk to Remus. The pleasant buzz he still had was granting more confidence than he was used to regarding his feelings towards his friend.
“Moony!” He called after him, “wait for me!” Remus stopped quickly and spun looking for him. The look on his face was one of excitement and drunken happiness, it made Sirius want to push him against the nearest wall and kiss him stupid. He shook his head and quickly joined Remus at the bottom of the stairs.
“Done for the night or going for a smoke?” Sirius pulled out his box of smokes and offered them to Remus as they climbed the stairs.
“Haven’t decided,” Remus said distractedly, taking one of the cigarettes. “Just needed a break mainly.” His Welsh accent was heavier than Sirius had ever heard and he seemed deep in thought.
“How much have you had to drink Moon Man?” Sirius opened the door to their room and held it for him. Their shoulders brushed softly as he passed by, sending shivers through Sirius that made him blush.
Remus huffed as he sat on the bed, stuffing the cigarette in his mouth and pulling out his wand to light it. “Los’ track if I'm honest.” He mumbled. Sirius sat on the floor across from him, leaning on the wall. Lighting his own cigarette with a muggle lighter Remus had given him last year for his birthday.
They sat in silence for a while, neither daring to break the moment. Smoke filled the room despite the open window and their shitty attempts at actually blowing the smoke out of it. In Sirius’ defense the window was quite far from the floor and in Remus’ defense he was too drunk to give a fuck.
************************
Remus wanted nothing more than to grab his stupid friend by his stupid face and kiss him until they couldn’t breathe. So far he was settling for smoking one of his cigarettes but that wasn’t near close enough and the alcohol was definitely inhibiting his logic skills.
“Weed?” Remus had meant to say something- anything- more than that. Unfortunately for him, that's all that came out.
“I’d love to!” Sirius said excitedly, sitting up quickly with a large smile. Remus could live and die by that smile.
“I can roll,” he smiled back at him. “If you want?”
“I’d love for you to roll for me Moony,” his smile morphed into a grin and he winked at Remus. Like he didn’t know what he was doing to him. Or maybe more like he did know.
It didn’t take long for Sirius to drag his rolling tray and stash out of his secret hiding place, under his bed with a concealment charm. It took even less time for Remus to roll them a joint, Sirius seemed enthralled by watching Remus roll and he tried not to think too hard about that.
“Tada,” Remus joked as he passed it to Sirius for him to light. Remus would never admit it but everytime Sirius used the lighter he got him something deep in his chest fluttered.
“Thank you, my good gentleman!” Sirius bowed his head slightly and spoke in a fake posh accent he usually reserved for mocking his family with. They smoked in silence again for a few moments before Sirius turned to face him abruptly.
Remus froze looking at his friend, Sirius seemed to be fighting with something deep inside. Like a secret was literally clawing its way out of him. He opened his mouth and snapped it shut several times before turning away again, passing him the joint. Not daring to meet his eyes.
“Pads?” Remus’ voice was softer than he meant it to be. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Pads, what’s up?”
“Up?” Sirius wouldn’t look at him. “Nothing’s up.” A pit formed in Remus’ stomach and for a second he thought he might be seeing his stomach contents displayed on their bedroom floor, but the nausea passed after a moment.
“Sirius.” Remus reached across the gap slowly, gently grabbing the other man's face and turning it to face him. He searched his friends' eyes like the answer might be written there but it was not helpful.
“Remus,” Sirius breathed his name like it was sacred, his eyes glancing down at Remus’ lips quick enough that Remus almost missed it.
“Tell me,” Remus begged, the silence was turning from comfortable to painful quickly. His heart seemed to be trying to beat its way out of his chest.
“I-” Sirius started to speak but again slammed his mouth shut. Licking his lips and trying to turn away from Remus again, but he held him firm keeping their eyes locked. The look they shared was charged in a way that Remus didn’t think was possible, like they were two animals trapped together fighting for dominance. Neither willing to look away first, both determined to have their way.
“You?” It was a question, one Remus felt like he would die if it went unanswered.
“I…” Sirius paused and Remus almost thought he would have to ask again. “I love you.”
The world stopped, or maybe it crashed. Either way Remus felt like he was spinning out of control. The alcohol in his system made him feel like the ocean was being created in his stomach and the universe was imploding inside his brain. The one person he had convinced himself he would never deserve was looking at him like he alone was responsible for his happiness and was telling him he loved him.
“Say something,” the fear in Sirius’ voice jumpstarted Remus back to reality. He surged forward and smashed their lips together and just like that everything came together. Lights flashed behind his eyelids and electricity buzzed in his veins. No longer drunk on alcohol but drunk on the feeling of finally, finally, kissing the person of his dreams.
*************************************
Sirius had died, died and gone to heaven. Remus Lupin had kissed him. He told him that he loved him and instead of being horrified and disgusted with him he had kissed him.
“I love you,” Remus gasped as he pulled away from him. “I’ve loved you for a long time Sirius.” Now Siuris really had died, he loved him back. How was it possible he had really gotten this lucky.
“Really?” Sirius didn’t mean to sound so desperate, but he barely believed this wasn’t one of his dreams.
“Really.” Remus’ voice was firm but his lips were soft when he pulled him in for another kiss. A softer slower kiss that seared Sirius from the inside out, leaving him feeling floaty and intoxicated.
They kissed for a long time, neither knowing for sure how long. It could have been minutes or hours, but they didn’t stop until a loud hooting sound startled them.
“Sorry lads didn’t realize you were still going at it!” James was grinning at them from the doorway. Looking like the cat that caught the whole aviary.
“James!” Sirius glared at him and looked around for a projectile. “I told you to leave us alone tonight!”
“Yeah but it’s 4 am,” James crossed the room to his bed and flopped down. “So ya know, use a silencing charm. Good night.” With no further comments he grinned at them and shut his curtains.
Remus laughed and shot Sirius a curious look.
“I’ll tell you later,” Sirius reached out his hand. “Come here?”
“You don’t have to ask twice.” They quickly piled into Sirius's bed and closed the curtains. They didn’t do much more than cuddle and kiss, they had all the time in the world for other things.