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Shin’s hands grew clammy around the handlebars of her bike as she followed her girlfriend through the cold streets of Capital City. Rows of houses decorated for Christmas zoomed past them, until they reached one which, in the late afternoon, flashed like a Christmas tree. Sabine threw her bike in the driveway without care. Shin was less careless. She set hers against the low wall of a planter. Sabine hopped over the path to the front door. She glanced behind her once she was at the door to make sure that Shin was following. Shin stood at the bottom of the three steps, trying not to appear nervous. This was her first time visiting Sabine’s home.
Sabine opened the door. Shin was overwhelmed for a second by the warmth of the place, and the smell of food baking in the kitchen. Pictures hung from frames on the walls and occupied most of the furniture space available. Sabine paid them no mind. She took off her coat then took Shin’s to hang it on the coatrack.
“Sabine, is that you?” a man’s voice called from deeper into the house while Sabine was taking off her shoes.
“Yep. Shin and I are just going to do our homework in my room. Then I want to show her the wall.”
“Alright. Have fun.”
Shin had barely toed off her shoes that Sabine grabbed her by the hand and led her upstairs. They disappeared through one of the doors, Sabine making sure to shut it after them. Shin dropped her backpack in a corner. Sabine, like a tornado, took off her sweater and turned on some rock music. Shin was about to ask her whether loud music was antithetic to doing their homework when Sabine returned to her and pinned her against the door.
“Is that why you brought me to your house?” Shin asked, hands grabbing Sabine’s waist.
“No, but you looked kinda cold. I figured you could use something to warm you up.”
Shin hummed against Sabine’s lips. They kissed against the door, Sabine pressing her hips against Shin’s. This wouldn’t do, Shin thought. She pushed Sabine away so she could unzip her sweater. Sabine stepped back until she was seated on her bed. Shin sat on her lap and brushed her purple hair away from her eyes. Sabine kissed her again. She set her hands against Shin’s lower back, keeping her close.
Loud banging on the door forced them apart. Shin jumped off Sabine’s lap, fear seizing at her heart. The banging continued. Sabine rolled her eyes and stood up. She opened her door violently. A teenager stood on the other side. They exchanged glares.
“Turn it down,” the teenager threatened. “I have a math test and a history test tomorrow.”
“Then you should be prepared for them already,” Sabine replied.
The teenager looked past Sabine then, to Shin who stood awkwardly in the middle of the bedroom, not certain what to do or say. He gasped.
“Does Kanan know you have a girl in your room?”
He turned back and shouted down the stairs:
“Kanan! Sabine has a girl in her room.”
Sabine rolled her eyes.
“He knows. Now leave us alone.”
“Not until you turn your music down.”
“Kids,” Kanan’s voice came from downstairs. “Please keep it down I’m on the phone.”
The teenager gave Sabine a pointed look. Sabine sighed.
“Fine. But don’t complain if your hear disgusting sounds.”
She shut the door as he grimaced. She turned off her music and sank into her desk chair with a final sigh.
“I’m sorry about Ezra.”
Shin sat on the foot of the bed, facing her.
“I mean, we also have a math test tomorrow.”
“Maybe we should have gone to yours. At least it would have been quiet.”
Shin gave her a look, wondering if Sabine was joking when she had been the one making the most noise since they had arrived. Sabine opened her bag and pulled out her notebook, and the conversation moved on to math formulas.
As they worked, Shin kept stealing glances around Sabine’s room. It was a lot messier than hers. Clothes carpeted the floor all around the wardrobe, making a small pile that seemed to fall out of it. Posters for rock bands and art expos alike were plastered all over the walls. Her desk was a mess of pieces of paper and screws and mechanical parts. She had painted behind the door and over the furniture and around the window and on the ceiling.
Shin was struggling with yet another math problem, feeling her brain turn to mush, when the closet door groaned open. She frowned and looked over. A handful of tee-shirts tumbled out. Then, a cat jumped out, stretching and yawning.
“Hey baby,” Sabine said when she saw the cat.
She stood from her chair and picked it up off the ground. The cat let itself be carried, nuzzling against Sabine’s chin.
“This is Murley.”
She brought the tabby cat closer to Shin. Shin hesitated, lifting her hand but not daring touch the pet. She’s never had a cat and she wasn’t sure how to interact with it. The curious cat closed the distance between them and smelled her fingers. Then, it extended its neck as far as it could to rub its head against her hand.
“Aw, he likes you,” Sabine cooed.
When the cat began to wiggle in her grasp, she let it go. It fell on the floor, shook itself, then rubbed against Shin’s legs and purred. Sabine glanced at her girlfriend. She was the most still she had ever seen her.
“I can kick him out if you don’t like.”
“It’s fine…”
Sabine sat back down, picking up her notebook. Shin was about to look down at hers when Murley jumped onto her lap. He rubbed his head against her chin, just as he had done with Sabine. Sabine tried to stop herself from laughing when she saw Shin’s confused, worried face.
“This is so cute.”
She pulled out her phone and snapped a picture, leaving Shin to struggle alone against Murley’s purring. He walked all over her notebook, batting his tail in her face even as she tried to fight it off. Finally, after a few more head rubs, he stepped off her lap and settled on the bed behind her.
“I’m glad Murley likes you.”
Shin glanced back at the cat. He had curled up in a bowl and gone to sleep.
“What? Would you have broken up with me if he didn’t?”
Sabine shrugged.
“I wouldn’t have had any other choice.”
Shin thought she was serious for a second, then her girlfriend smiled and she knew she was only joking. She picked up her notebook from her lap.
“I’m only glad he’s quiet. I don’t think I could have kept working if he was yapping about.”
Sabine chuckled.
“Wait until you meet Chopper.”
“You have a dog too?”
Once Sabine decided that the sun was low enough and they had worked on their math enough, she led Shin back downstairs. Just then, the front door opened. A kid stepped in, followed by red and white Chihuahua. The tiny dog immediately sniffed Shin on the staircase. He began barking up a storm at her. Sabine stepped between them.
“Chopper, no. She’s a guest.”
Chopper stopped barking but continued to growl and kept its beady eyes on her. The boy picked up the dog to carry him away.
“You know Chopper doesn’t like you people,” the boy told Sabine.
“I’m not going to stop myself from inviting people around just because Chopper is a menace.”
The boy turned to Shin then, who still stood in the staircase. Shin stood still, unsure what was going on through the kid’s mind.
“Are you Sabine’s girlfriend?” he asked, finally.
Unsure what to reply, Shin glanced at Sabine for guidance.
“Stop being nosy, Jacen.”
The front door opened again, and a woman carrying grocery bags stepped inside. She immediately spotted Sabine who had picked up one of her boots, and Shin still standing in the staircase.
“Where do you think you’re going, young lady?” she asked Sabine.
“I was just going to take Shin to the wall.”
“Dinner’s ready. You can take her after.”
“But she’s not…”
Sabine’s reply was cut off by the woman, who turned to Shin.
“You’re staying for dinner, right?”
Again, Shin wasn’t sure what to answer to that. She glanced at Sabine who had dropped her shoe back on the floor and looked annoyed.
“I should go home soon,” she began. “I think Baylan left me something for dinner in the fridge…”
“You’re alone tonight?”
Shin pursed her lips. She glanced at Sabine who lightly shook her head, but not knowing how to get out of the situation, she explained:
“Yeah… He has a meeting.”
“Then you can have dinner with us. Sabine, you can show her the wall after dinner.”
Now that the matter was settled, the woman walked to the kitchen. Jacen let Chopper on the floor and followed his mother. Chopper growled at Shin one last time before following. Sabine sighed.
“I’m sorry,” Shin began.
Sabine shook her head, brushing the apology aside.
“It’s not your fault. It’s pretty hard to lie to Hera.”
“Sabine,” Hera’s voice echoed from the kitchen, “help your brother set the table.”
“Coming.”
Shin sat at the dining table beside Sabine. Jacen sat in the seat across from her. He would steal glances at her after every bite of taco he took. At her feet, Chopper was keeping a close eye on her. Kanan and Hera were talking with Ezra about his day. Shin somewhat disconnected from the conversation, glancing at the clock on the wall as often as Jacen was looking at her.
“I know where I’ve seen you before,” he said, finally, grabbing the attention of the entire table. “You kicked Sabine’s butt.”
“She did,” Ezra chuckled.
Sabine rolled her eyes. Before Shin could reply anything, Jacen continued with enthusiasm:
“Can you teach me? I want to fight like Ezra and Sabine, but since you’re better than Sabine, you have to teach me.”
“Thank you,” Sabine grumbled.
“That’s not very nice to your sister,” Kanan confirmed.
The blind man reached for his glass but when Sabine noticed it was out of water, she filled it up for him. Jacen’s mouth was full as he explained:
“I just want to be the best, and to be the best, you have to be trained by the best.”
“You told you that?” Hera asked.
“Sabine.”
Hera’s gaze turned to Sabine, who shrugged.
“Am I wrong?”
She looked at Shin for confirmation. Shin would rather stay out of the conversation.
“And indeed, as of last month, Sabine is no longer the best,” Ezra said.
She glared at him. Hera glared at the both of them. Kanan reached for a taco in his plate but he missed it. Jacen set down his food to help his father find his.
“Here. You missed it, dad.”
“Did I? And here I thought you’d stolen all the food of my plate when I wasn’t looking.”
Jacen giggled.
“We better get going,” Sabine said as soon as she finished her plate. “It’s getting dark.”
She was about to stand up but Hera’s gaze pinned her back in her chair.
“I bought a meiloorun pie for dessert. You can go after dessert.”
Sabine rolled her eyes but complied. To Shin’s great horror, the conversation suddenly turned to her, as Hera asked:
“How is school going? I know Sabine has been helping you.”
In the chair beside hers, Sabine groaned and sank into the seat.
As soon as Sabine was done shoveling her piece of pie in her mouth, she stood from her chair.
“Alright, time to go.”
Shin had no other choice but to finish her half slice of pie in two bites. She stood up and, remembering to be polite, said:
“Thank you for your hospitality.”
Hera waved her gratitude away.
“Come back anytime, as long as there’s no trouble between you and Sabine.”
There was an edge to her voice that made Shin tense up. On the other side of the table, Kanan chuckled.
“Don’t stay out too late,” he instructed.
“Yeah, yeah,” Sabine replied dismissively as she grabbed Shin by the wrist and guided her out of the dining room and into the entrance hall.
Shin tied her shoes back on while Sabine put on her coat. She picked up Shin’s coat and handed it to her, then took both hers and Sabine’s bags and carried them outside. Shin caught up as soon as she was prepared to face the winter air. Sabine was slipping her backpack on and picking up her bike. Shin did the same.
“I’m sorry about my family,” Sabine said once she was standing astride her bike. “They’re a lot sometimes.”
Shin shrugged. She wasn’t used to big families anymore. For years it had only been Baylan and her. Before that, she had jumped from foster home to foster home, sometimes having to share the house with five or six other kids. The only difference in Sabine’s family was the love. Even as she argued with her brother, they loved each other, and even Shin could see it.
“It was fine. Your family is really nice.”
Sabine rolled her eyes but she couldn’t contain her smile. She pedaled away instead.
They biked up the street and down another block after taking a right. At the end of the street, they entered a former industrial zone. Some of the factories had been turned into supermarkets and department stores. Others had been segmented into smaller shops, restaurants and coffee stores. The deeper into the zone they biked, the less streetlights they encountered, until Sabine had them biking behind the stores, where Shin had to trust the moonlight.
Sabine stopped at the foot of a tall advertisement sign. She left her bike on the ground. She opened her backpack and pulled out a flashlight and a selfie-stick. She handed Shin the flashlight as soon as she was off her bike. Though she gave her no instruction, Shin assumed she was supposed to turn on the flashlight. When she did, she found Sabine had extended the stick to its fullest. A coat hanger hook was attached to the end. With it, she grabbed the security ladder locked out of access and brought it down. It slid down its rail and thumped on the ground with no hitch.
“Is this even legal?” Shin asked.
The last thing she wanted was for Baylan to be called out of work because she had been arrested.
“It didn’t used to be, but don’t worry. We won’t get into trouble.”
Sabine placed her stick back in her bag and climbed up the ladder. Shin watched her do until she had reached the second section of it. Then, she attached the flashlight to the front pocket of her jacket and followed.
The ladder was long but steady and obviously well maintained. Starting at the second section, a guardrail circled the ladder, preventing them from falling. Above her, Shin could hear Sabine climbing and climbing, until she reached the top. When she looked up, she found Sabine was holding out a hand for her. As soon as she could, she reached for it.
When Sabine pulled her up, she found herself standing beside a billboard. A guardrail had been installed all around the platform, waist-high and covered with spots of paint and small doodles. Using her flashlight, she looked up at the billboard. There was no advertisement, only a huge mural, wolves running among the stars and forested landscapes and a communication tower in the background.
“Welcome to my wall,” Sabine told her.
She set her bag down on the platform and Shin heard the jiggle of paint cans within.
“Are you allowed up here?”
“Yep. It’s mine. I kept getting into trouble for painting where I shouldn’t, so as a birthday present, Kanan and Hera bought this billboard. I come here often.”
She leaned against the guardrail and Shin imitated her. She turned off the flashlight. From the top of the billboard, she could see high above the old factories, all the way to Sabine’s neighborhood and the houses blinking white, red and green.
“It’s even better during the day. That’s why I wanted to go earlier. The sunset from up here is spectacular.”
Shin slid forward, taking Sabine’s hand in hers.
“This is pretty great still.”
Sabine squeezed her hand. She leaned in to kiss her. Despite the cold, Shin felt quite warm enough when they separated.
“Now come on,” Sabine began as she stepped away. “What do you want to draw?”
“I don’t think that I…”
She was interrupted when Sabine came back with a case full of markers. She sat with her legs between the bars of the guardrail. Shin sat beside her.
“I don’t think that I’m a really great artist.”
In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she had drawn anything that wasn’t a math diagram or the schematics of the structure of a cell.
“You can do whatever you want. I won’t judge.”
Sabine set her phone between them, flashlight bright on the guardrail. She picked up a marker and began drawing. Shin contemplated the collection of colors, the already decorated bars in front of her, and the doodle Sabine was doing. She was content with simply watching her. After a few seconds, however, Sabine noticed her staring.
“Come on. Don’t you want to leave your mark here? You’re the first person I’ve ever brought here, you know.”
Shin frowned, surprised.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Even Ezra’s not allowed up here. I…”
Sabine bit her lower lip.
“I wouldn’t share this with anyone else.”
Shin, overwhelmed by another warm wave, leaned to kiss her again. Sabine returned the kiss, pulling her girlfriend toward her as far as Shin could. When they parted, the winter night seemed a cozy summer evening. Shin picked up a random marker out of the bag and said:
“Can you show me how to draw something?”
Sabine smiled, brighter than daylight.
“It would be my pleasure.”