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Charlie and Nick had sat down puffing from the exertion of their run in the quiet ballroom, the quiet feeling sublime after the loud music and screaming conversation beneath them.
Charlie had felt relief that Nick didn't like Tara but now he is telling himself he shouldn't be getting his hopes up. There are still millions of girls that Nick could have a crush on with probably better chances than Charlie. Still, he needs to know.
"So... you don't have a crush on anyone at the moment?"
Nick swallows, then inhales audibly. Instead of answering he hugs his legs as he exhales and stares straight ahead.
"It seems such an easy question ... but I find it incredibly hard to answer." He says somberly.
Nick knows he knows the answer. It had taken some time but he is sure by now. However, facing the answer and what it means feels overwhelming still.
His gaze grows dark and he buries his head on his knees.
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to" Charlie answers quickly after resisting the urge to touch Nick's shoulder reassuringly. This had been a stupid idea. He frantically tries to propose something else to talk about and completely drop the topic.
However, after a short moment of silence Nick turns his head, locking eyes with Charlie, his smile so bittersweet, Charlie forgets to breathe.
"No, I want to talk about it."
Charlie nods. Nick's face turns very serious. He holds Charlie's gaze for what feels like a very long moment.
Nick knows, he needs to talk about this. To face this and figure out what this means for him. And Charlie deserves to know. But his chest constricts already at the thought of starting this conversation...
"Can I have a hug?" - Nick is surprised by his own words.
"Yes, of course."
Charlie's elated but uncertain so he lifts his arms and gives Nick an inviting smile. Nick face softens and he closes the distance and snuggles under Charlie's right arm, resting his head on the inside of Charlie's shoulder. For a minute they sit in silence, just feeling each other breathe.
"What's it like when you're having a crush on someone?" Nick asks.
"Mhm... First, I start really enjoying the other's company..."
Memories of inviting Charlie to join the Rugby team and to meet Nelly appear in Nick's head. And the smiles that inadvertently appear on his face when he sees Charlie for the first time in class every morning.
"... and they become very important to me. When they're happy, I am happy. And when they're not, I feel this strong desire to do whatever I can to help them."
Nick remembers his joy mere minutes ago when Charlie told him how he told Ben to leave him alone. Then he sees Charlie going off to the music block, the worry that twisted his stomach seeing Charlie's tense face that day.
Charlie remembers Nick's distress at his question earlier and notices how relaxed he feels Nick breathing against him now. Relief, happiness and empathy mingle in his chest and he dares to squeeze Nick's shoulder.
"... and I want to be close to them. To hug and cuddle them..."
Charlie freezes for a moment, realizing what he just said - given how Nick's cuddled up against him. What if this was too much, if this breaks the moment? He pauses briefly, extremely aware of all the places where his and Nick's body are touching. But Nick does not move.
For a moment, Charlie wonders if he should stop here. But it would not feel truthful, wouldn't feel right.
"... and then I start fantasizing about kissing them." He says, trying to sound matter-of-factly as if he was not talking about the boy whose face is only centimeters below his own, fixing his gaze on the ornaments between the ceiling and the tapestry of the opposite wall.
Nick still does not move but Charlie can feel him take a deep breath.
"I don't fantasize about kissing..." The unspoken 'yet' and 'but' seem to ring through the room, louder than Nick's low voice "... but I do feel all the other things ... for you."
Nick feels a tension melt away, as if saying it out loud made some puzzle pieces of him click into place. Then he realizes what he just revealed and lifts his head to read Charlie's face.
Charlie's eyes are widened in surprise. Is Nick suggesting...
"Would you like to kiss me?"
Nick's eyes pass from Charlie's eyes to his mouth and back, his face softening. He takes a moment but then he nods. "Yeah" he breathes with a slight smile. This is still scary but he finally doesn't feel as contorted as the last times their faces were close and a part of him yearned to close the distance between their lips.
Their eyes flicker between their eyes and mouths as they lean forward and kiss softly, their noses touching at the end.
"Nick! You up there? I just want to talk, mate!" Harry's voice rips them out of the moment.
Nick locks eyes with Charlie for a moment. Fear catches an instant and strong grip of him and is plastered all over his face. Yet, he tries to stay for a second and convey at least some reassurance to Charlie. He manages a short soft and sad smile before he can't keep himself in his seat.
"Sorry" he winces as he jumps up and darts from the room...