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Jaiden didn’t have the slightest clue where the radio came from.
After hundreds of respawns and muscles aching from the constant cycle of coming back to life, Jaiden’s thoughts were difficult to decipher. Her memories of the day were disconnected from one another. Snippets floating between her thoughts, like individual lines taken out of context in a book. She remembered what happened, but the order it all went down in was… jumbled.
She died a lot. It was by choice, for the most part. She knew that much.
Even if she didn’t remember that though, she would’ve been able to figure it out. Dozens upon dozens of copies of her body littered the ground around their spawn point. She thought it was funny, seeing her own corpses decorate the dirt and sparse patches of grass. So she would die in strategic places to add to the atmosphere of it all.
It was still funny to her, despite the dark bruises littering every inch of her body from all the times she’d asked Charlie to beat her to death. It was still funny to stare down into her own glassy eyes. It was funny how she could be in multiple places at once—dead over here, dead over there, alive right where she stood.
Maybe that’s why her memories were jumbled now. Too many versions of herself had been manifested from the ground. Her own thoughts were layering on top of one another. If she was a more existential person, she might start wondering what that meant for her as Jaiden. If she was the real Jaiden or if the real Jaiden had died a few dozen corpses ago.
But she wasn’t that existential. Not here. Not under the blood red sky. So it was just funny to her instead.
That wasn’t what mattered right now though. What mattered was that there was a radio now, and it was playing music.
With the blood red sky turning dark, and exhaustion weighing on everyone’s bones, they’d settled in for the night near their spawn point. Despite the fact that it was safer down in their underground base, this island had proven itself to be prone to a myriad of natural disasters—including earthquakes. If any of them went to sleep in their base and an earthquake happened, there was a very real chance they’d be buried alive.
So they were all above ground, stepping over the many corpses littered around and making themselves comfortable. While this in itself was a routine they’d done several times now, the surprising part to Jaiden was that everyone was there. Foolish wasn’t off working on a build, Carre wasn’t sleeping under a random tree, Phil hadn’t gone exploring for the millionth time—they were all there, and they were all awake.
Cellbit and Carre were sitting near the campfire, talking in Spanish while roasting some pork Phil had gotten for them over the flames. Foolish and Charlie were leaning against a tree, giggling about something Jaiden couldn’t hear, the binary code making up part of Charlie’s arm flickering every time he laughed too hard. Phil was hunched over a crafting table, Baghera peering around his shoulder with wide eyes to catch a glimpse at whatever he was doing.
And in the middle of it all, there was a radio. One that despite Jaiden’s disjointed memories, she knew hadn’t been there that morning. The music it was playing sounded old—something from the sixties, she was fairly sure. The sound that came from the radio was scratchy, and she wasn’t sure if that was just how the song sounded, or if it was coming from the radio itself.
Either way, the low, crooning voice scratching out of the radio echoed out into the savannah around them. It reverberated through Jaiden’s bones, and although even the smallest movement sent pains rippling through her muscles, she found herself walking towards the radio and crouching in front of it.
“Where did this come from?” She asked no one in particular, reaching out to fiddle with the dial.
Foolish answered first. “Uh, I’m not sure, but I think Tubbo built it? I dunno how it ended up in here though.”
“Did one of us steal it?” Baghera asked, brows furrowing as she glanced around the room. “Because I was just assuming Phil or Cellbit grabbed it today.”
Cellbit raised an eyebrow, his eyes flickering to the radio before he shrugged. “Maybe? I don’t remember grabbing it, but sometimes I just grab stuff without looking too closely.”
“I don’t remember grabbing it, but it might’ve been me,” Phil chimed in, leaning against the crafting table. “I stole some shit from blue earlier. Might’ve just been in one of the chests.”
“Huh.” Jaiden’s hands shook as she brushed them over the top of the radio. They hadn’t stopped trembling since her first death today, and she had a feeling they weren’t going to go still anytime soon. Stupid after effects of respawns.
“You can turn it off if you want,” Cellbit then said, leaning back against his hands. “I turned it on because I thought it was nice background noise, but if it’s bothering you-”
“No no, it’s fine,” Jaiden reassured him, moving her fingers down to the dial again. “I was actually thinking of turning it up a bit.”
She glanced around at the others, looking for any signs of protest. Although usually it was impossible to read her teammate’s expressions through the gas masks they wore throughout the day, since night had fallen it seemed they all wanted at least a few hours to feel the wind on their cheeks. Their masks were piled up in one corner, and Jaiden knew that before they went to sleep they would probably all pull them on again, but for now their faces were bare to one another. Bruises and emotions laid out side by side for anyone to see.
No one seemed to mind the idea of Jaiden turning the music up. So when the song changed to another old sixties ballad, she turned the dial to the right.
A new voice crooned out over the dirt and grass and bloodstains in the ground. It was a tune that Jaiden recognized. One that would turn into a jaunty song she remembered hearing in a movie at some point. What was it-
Oh. Wall-E.
The last time she’d seen Wall-E had been with Roier and Bobby. A late night spent piled together on the couch, Bobby curled into her chest, his legs stretched across the cushions to wedge uncomfortably into Roier’s side as they all watched a small robot explore a planet long since abandoned.
The sudden ache in her chest was sharp and wholly unexpected. Her grief for Bobby had turned into this low-burning fire in her gut. Something that was never quite gone, but didn’t always demand attention. Something she’d learned to live with over the past few months.
She could tolerate it. Especially when she was with the Cucuruchos, and could focus on watching out for them instead of the ever present pain. Especially when she was around her friends, and could focus on how much funnier it was to look at her own dead bodies than to think of her son’s empty bed.
This pain was harder to shove down though. It knocked the breath from her lungs as she stared at her bruised and bloodied arms, and wasn’t it almost funny how it wasn’t that long ago that those same arms had been used to hug her son? Would Bobby find the dead bodies as funny as Jaiden thought they were?
He probably wouldn’t. But Bobby wasn’t here to see them, so it’s not like it mattered.
And in a way, it was also funny to hear this song again. In a desolate wasteland where the ground was soaked with her own blood, only now did Jaiden hear this song again. Only now was Jaiden reminded of how inconsequential her own deaths were compared to this one.
“Put on your Sunday clothes there’s lots of world out thereeeeeee!”
The song picked up into a jauntier melody. Despite her aching muscles, Jaiden found her feet tapping along as she straightened up.
“Oh, I know this one!” Charlie exclaimed, wincing as he stood up to join Jaiden by the radio. Although she was the worst off in their group for lingering injuries, Charlie was right behind her, his skin also an array of purples and blues from the two of them taking turns beating each other to death.
Jaiden smiled at his enthusiasm. “Yeah, it’s a fun one, right?” When Charlie nodded, she found herself extending a hand towards him. “You wanna dance with me then?”
Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Dude, I’m like, in so much fucking pain right now. Aren’t you?”
“Sure am!” Jaiden quipped, wincing as she lifted her arms to start swaying from side to side. “But who cares, man? We’re trapped in a fucking death game. Why not dance?”
Considering this for a moment, Charlie glanced between the radio and Jaiden’s bruised face. Then, he looked back at her outstretched hand.
“Eh, fuck it. Why not?” Charlie huffed.
He placed his hand in hers, and Jaiden giggled as he lifted her arm to twirl her around. Pain flashed through her legs with every step she took, and the simple act of Charlie tugging on her arm was making it difficult not to wince. But she forced it down. She ignored the pain. It was time to dance.
As the two began to move, their sore muscles warmed up, and it became slightly easier to dance through the aches. It wasn’t gone, but they swung their arms back and forth, stepping around Jaiden’s many corpses as they moved along to the music.
“Put on your Sunday clothes we’re gonna ride through townnnnn!”
There was movement in the corner of Jaiden’s eye. Charlie spun her again, and when her vision went still she noticed Baghera making her way towards them, a wide grin stretched across her face.
Without saying a word, Charlie passed Jaiden off to Baghera. Jaiden snorted when Baghera tried to dip her, only to grunt at her weight and nearly drop her on the ground. Once she was back on her feet, she took Baghera’s hand and gestured for her to twirl, her short, faded pink hair fanning out around her face as she did so.
“Wait, we’re having a dance party?” Foolish suddenly asked.
He ran over to the three of them, and Jaiden let go of Baghera’s hands to take Foolish’s in her own. The two swung their arms wildly back and forth, while Baghera and Charlie did some strange kind of jumping dance between each other.
The four of them twirled and bounced and spun between each other for the rest of the song. Although Jaiden’s muscles were screaming the entire time and her head was spinning as she struggled to keep her balance, she kept moving. Dancing was fun, even when she stepped on her own dead body’s hand.
Soon enough, the song came to a close. The group of four slowed down, breathing heavily as another fun, jaunty tune began to play.
Baghera was the first to straighten up, fixing her gaze over to where Carre, Cellbit, and Phil had moved to the side to watch them. “Don’t just stand there! Join us!”
Phil held his hands up in mock surrender. “Nah, I’m good to watch.”
“Me too,” Cellbit nodded, folding his arms over his chest.
Carre, meanwhile, glanced between the four. Jaiden flashed him a grin, and after a beat, he walked over to them.
“You’re all crazy,” Carre said, biting back laughter as Foolish grabbed his wrist and yanked him into the fold.
“That’s the motto for Team Bolas, baby!” Jaiden exclaimed. Then, she grabbed Baghera’s hands again, and the two went back to spinning each other around while Charlie, Foolish, and Carre began their own strange trio dance.
“Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows! Everything that’s wonderful is what I feel when we’re togetherrrrr!”
They danced and danced and danced. Jaiden stumbled over her own feet multiple times, and would’ve eaten shit if Baghera hadn’t caught her. She kept stepping on her own corpses, and even stepped on Charlie’s dead bodies a few times, although everyone else seemed to be taking care to avoid them as much as possible. Her boots squished against the blood-soaked ground, and her heart pounded in her ears as she kept spinning.
At one point she had her hands on Carre’s shoulders and he had his hands on hers, and the two of them were just kind of… shaking each other? She’s not sure, the dancing got a little weird after a while. But then, she looked over Carre’s shoulder and noticed Cellbit and Phil still not joining in.
“Cellbit!” Jaiden called out, letting go of Carre and rushing for him.
“What? I told you I don’t wanna-” Cellbit cut himself off with an oof! as Jaiden barreled into him, grabbing his wrists and using all her strength to drag him into the group. “Jaiden! I don’t-”
“Shut up! It’s group bonding time!” Baghera exclaimed.
Although Cellbit still seemed reluctant, when Jaiden lifted his arms to twirl him, he couldn’t help but crack a smile. His palms were rough against her own—littered in scars and calluses. They swung each other back and forth, and Jaiden lifted her wings up behind her as they danced.
The only member of their group not dancing now was Phil. And no one was going to have that.
“Phil, we can do this the easy way or the hard way, man,” Charlie warned him.
Phil rolled his eyes. “Trust me, I’m not good at dancing. You don’t want-”
“Phil, I died, like, over a hundred times today. I’ve nearly eaten shit five times over. You’re not gonna be the worst dancer here,” Jaiden said, cutting him off.
“Yeah, she sucks!” Foolish chimed in with a grin.
“Besides, we’re all part of Team Bolas, right?” Baghera pointed out. “We can’t be short a ball.”
“Exactly, Baghera!” Charlie agreed, nodding aggressively. “Balls gotta stick together, right?”
Carre hummed thoughtfully. “Balls come in pairs.”
“So they shouldn’t be lonely!” Foolish agreed.
Although Phil still seemed reluctant, under the weight of everyone’s pleading looks he let out a deep sigh. “Fine. One song-”
The group cut Phil off with a loud cheer. Then, before he could say anything else, Baghera was grabbing his hands and yanking him over another corpse to join in the fun.
“My life is sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows! That’s how this refrain goes so come on, join in everybody!”
They all bounced between partners. Jaiden was spun between Carre and into Foolish, before Foolish passed her off to Baghera, and then Baghera shoved her towards Phil. She twirled Phil around and he couldn’t help but cackle, and Jaiden noticed his wings shifting under his shirt with the movement.
Phil stepped on her foot at one point, but she barely felt it over the rest of her aches and bruises. Her boot then landed on something squishy, and she glanced down to see she’d stepped on her own corpse’s face. For some reason, this made her laugh even harder than she’d already been laughing, and she ended up collapsing into Phil’s side as she struggled to keep herself standing.
A few more songs passed by, and then a calmer ballad began to play. Their steps slowed down, and Jaiden felt herself get passed off to a familiar pair of scarred arms. When she looked up, Cellbit was standing in front of her again, and she lifted her hands to rest on his shoulders as his fell on her waist.
“I don’t want to set the worldddd onnnn fireeeeeeeee-”
“This was a good idea,” Cellbit commented quietly, glancing around at the dancing pairs around them. Baghera and Charlie were swaying from side to side while singing along to the song, while Foolish had somehow yanked both Phil and Carre into a circle that Phil looked like he desperately wanted to escape from. Even still, everyone’s smiles looked more genuine than they had in days.
“I don’t know what got into me. I just heard that first song and-” Jaiden paused, her own smile faltering for a moment. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to turn it off, but I didn’t want to just listen to it either.”
Cellbit furrowed his brows. “What was up with the first song?”
Jaiden looked over Cellbit’s shoulder, meeting another set of her own glazed over eyes. “It played in a movie that I watched with Roier and Bobby once.”
Immediately, Cellbit’s expression turned somber. “Oh.”
“It’s fine though,” Jaiden quickly said. “Like, I’m good. Don’t worry. This has been fun.”
She supposed if she considered the fact that the sharp ache in her chest was still there, she might not have been able to say she was fine. But she was fine. She was dancing with her friends and maybe it was a little fucked up to do it in a field of her own corpses, but again, it was more funny than anything else.
“I’ve lost all ambition for worldly acclaim-”
But Cellbit still seemed worried. His mouth was set in a thin line now, and he was barely moving his feet to the music anymore.
“Do you think Roier would come join our dance party if I messaged him?” Jaiden then asked, hoping mentioning his husband would make Cellbit’s worried frown disappear.
Although his frown faded, it wasn’t completely gone as Cellbit shook his head. “I’m pretty sure he’s sleeping right now.”
Tilting her head back towards the sky, Jaiden groaned. “So boring. Can’t believe Roier’s out here getting his beauty sleep instead of having a dance party at midnight like we are.”
At this, Cellbit snorted. “He doesn’t need beauty sleep. He’s already beautiful.”
To their right, Charlie scoffed. “Your husband’s not even here and you’re acting all cheesy about him.”
Before Cellbit could open his mouth to reply, Jaiden’s foot caught on something soft. She stumbled back, but instead of catching herself like before, her stiff legs seized up and suddenly she was falling.
More pain flashed through her head as she slammed to the ground. There was something squishy under her back, and when she glanced down, she realized she was sprawled over another dead body of hers.
“Shit! Jaiden, are you okay?” Cellbit asked, crouching down beside her.
Jaiden chuckled and nodded. “I’m fine. Honestly, kinda surprised I lasted this long without falling over.”
Her head was really spinning now. The stars above her head were swirling into strange, unrecognizable patterns. Nausea was crawling up her throat, and her arms had started to tingle.
Suddenly, Phil was crouching down on her other side. “Fuck, are you hurt?”
“Nah, I’m good,” she reassured them, despite the fact that she couldn’t make out the details of any of their faces now. “Probably just gonna need some help getting up.”
“Here, take my hand,” Cellbit said, reaching out for her.
Jaiden wrapped her hand around his and he yanked her up. Immediately, all of her muscles began to scream in protest, and her vision started spinning even worse than before. Her stomach lurched and she stumbled over herself, her legs shaking violently beneath her until-
“Shit!” Arms wrapped around her waist, and Jaiden belatedly realized Foolish had grabbed her to keep her from falling over. The world spun again, and next thing she knew Foolish was carrying her in his arms.
“Jaiden, are you hurt?” Baghera asked, and Jaiden felt Baghera’s cool fingers wrap around her own.
“Nah, I’m good guys, I swear,” Jaiden said, her head lolling against Foolish’s chest as he carried her away from the field of bodies.
“You just nearly ate shit again, mate. You’re not exactly ‘good,’” Phil pointed out, walking on Baghera’s other side.
Jaiden sighed and let her eyes flutter shut, the spinning sky getting to be a bit much for her. “Okay, maybe I’m a little tired.”
The world bounced up and down up and down as Foolish carried her back over to the campfire. He set her down on the ground as carefully as he could, and Jaiden kept her eyes shut as she curled towards the warmth, practically able to hear the cries of relief from her muscles.
It was then Jaiden noticed the music on the radio had gone quiet.
“Don’t stop the fun on my account,” Jaiden murmured, her words already starting to slur as exhaustion tugged her down. “I’m just gonna nap here for a while.”
“Nah, I think we’re all pretty tired, so we should get some sleep anyway,” Cellbit said, and although Jaiden’s eyes were shut, she could tell he was the one who sat down beside her.
“I’m gonna be honest, I’ve been two seconds away from passing out this whole fucking time,” Charlie added, laying down on Jaiden’s other side.
There was the sound of more shuffling, and Jaiden felt herself being moved like a ragdoll as everyone piled together. Her head was shifted onto somebody’s lap, and someone else was laying against her legs. Everything was still spinning, but the nausea had died down as she let herself drift closer and closer to sleep.
For a brief moment though, Jaiden forced herself to open her eyes. The campfire flames danced across her vision, the smell of blood filling her nose as a breeze blew in from the direction of their dance floor. She glanced up and realized her head was on Baghera’s lap, and Charlie seemed to be using her calves as a pillow. It looked like Carre had already passed out in his own corner, Foolish was laying down on the other side of the fire, while Phil and Cellbit were both the only two still sitting straight up.
“I can take first watch,” Phil volunteered.
Immediately, Baghera shook her head. “No, you always take first watch. You need more sleep.”
Phil sighed. “No, it’s fine. I don’t-”
“Phil,” Cellbit said, voice low as he cut him off. “I’ll take first watch, and then I’ll wake you up in a few hours. How’s that?”
Although Phil seemed like he wanted to argue, he looked around at the sleeping pile that had already formed, and let out another breath. “Fine. But you better actually wake me up.”
Cellbit rolled his eyes. “I will. Now lay down.”
Jaiden hummed, her eyes falling shut again. “Anyone is free to use my legs as a pillow. I can barely feel them anyway.”
“I think Charlie’s claimed them for himself,” Phil chuckled, gesturing to the fact that Charlie seemed to have already fallen asleep, leaving no room on Jaiden’s legs for someone else.
“Phil, c’mere,” Baghera instructed, waving him over. Looking up at Baghera, Jaiden realized she was leaning against a tree, and gestured for Phil to come sit on her other side.
Although Phil seemed like he wanted to argue, he did as she asked. Once he was sitting against the tree as well, Baghera gave him a pointed look and patted her shoulder. Phil shook his head, and the two had a silent staredown as Cellbit struggled to hide his smile.
Jaiden wasn’t sure how that standoff ended. She drifted off before it did, lulled to sleep by warmth from the fire washing over her, and the music from before still ringing in her ears.
That night, she didn’t dream. But for a while there, it almost felt like she was holding something in her arms. Something warm. Someone familiar.
And in the morning, the sharp pain in her chest was gone again. It was back to the same dull ache Jaiden had grown accustomed to.
At least she still found the bodies funny.