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Of all the choices that Gotoh Hitori had made in her twenty-four years of life, there were plenty that she could call bad or questionable at best.
There were some that she considered to be good too, ones that shaped her future for the better and gave her a chance at a much happier life.
Joining Kessoku Band was a good one, and paved the way for her coming out of her socially anxious shell, even if only a little. But honestly, if she were ranking those decisions it would probably only be third.
Of course, one memory that will always stand out as particularly good was the day Kita had asked her out for the first time. Saying yes was obviously the second best moment of her life so far.
But the double date she and Kita had with Nijika and Ryo just a few weeks later was probably the highest point she’d ever reach, even if she was selling out stadiums in the next ten years. She'd remember it as the moment everything changed forever, despite how awkward it all was for a good while after.
No one could have prepared her for how exhausting it was to juggle three girlfriends, school
and
a band. Even if your girlfriends were also in said band.
Now, when it came to ranking the worst decisions she’d ever made?
Eating like fifteen tons of sushi and drinking three bottles of sake when she knew she was an intense lightweight was
probably
pretty high up there.
She rested her head on Ryo’s lap, whose hand was currently busy delicately combing through her hair as reassuringly as possible.
It was not helping in the slightest.
Hitori felt her stomach churn as the van hit a particularly hard bump, and Kita cursed to herself as Nijika quickly turned her head back to look at the poor girl who was all smiles up until they had left the restaurant.
“Sorry!” Kita said, looking into the rearview just to make sure everything was going fine.
Ryo just gave a thumbs up, her other hand never stopping its appreciated but nonetheless useless motion.
“I’m really trying to not hit any bumps, but this road is awful!” Kita exclaimed, her voice fraught with so much worry it was almost unbearable to listen to.
Hitori felt like she had turned what was a great start to a new tour into an utter disaster, and with how hard her head was throbbing she could barely find the strength to fight back against those thoughts.
It had been nearly ten years, she knew every single one of her girls so perfectly that she could consistently predict exactly what they were thinking at any given point in time. She knew for a fact that not one of them was thinking such a thing.
But she still felt like an asshole.
“It’s fine…” Hitori said quietly, turning her head until her face was in Ryo’s stomach. The beams coming through the windows from the street lights were exacerbating every single one of her problems.
“She says it’s fine,” Ryo relayed, her combing turning to gentle head pats.
They worked slightly better.
Honestly, they felt like heaven. But Hitori was too busy feeling like a plague victim to be able to request she keep it up.
“Well, I don’t think it’s fine at all,” Kita said, “my girlfriend is currently dying in the back seat and
I’m
the one driving this stupid van that loves to act like the world’s gonna end the second I hit
one freaking pothole!”
Her voice cracked slightly as it raised, and Hitori groaned audibly from the back. “Sorry, honey…”
"Hey, it's okay, alright?" Nijika piped up, putting a hand on Kita's leg to try and calm her down a little. "Hitori's been through far worse, remember the food poisoning?"
"D-don't…" Hitori gasped softly, trying her best to just enjoy Ryo's gentle touches. Unfortunately, there was not a single thing she could do to get remotely comfortable.
"She said don't remind her," Ryo relayed once again.
Nijika smiled and held back a small chuckle. Even in so much pain her girlfriend was the funniest person she’d ever met, no matter how unintentional. “Sorry, but it’s true. You’ll be fine, tomorrow we’ll get some ice cream on the way to the venue.”
Even the promise of ice cream did nothing to alleviate the suffering that was Hitori’s existence, but she knew that tomorrow she’d at least have something to look forward to.
“I want mint chip,” Ryo said, her tone as blank as always but holding an underlying hint of excitement that she couldn’t hide from the others even if she tried.
“I could definitely go for some strawberry right now,” Kita said, no longer quite as tense as she was.
“Don’t you two
ever
branch out even a little bit?” Nijika asked, turning back to look out her window and into the night.
“Why should I? Mint chip/strawberry is the best,” Kita and Ryo said simultaneously. Nijika just shook her head and grinned.
“What about you, Hitori-chan, what do you want?” Kita called back to her.
“Neapolitan…” Hitori responded, trying her best to be an active part of the conversation. There was no hope, however, as even just saying that one word wore her out so drastically.
“She said she wants neapolitan,” Ryo passed on, unable to stop the smirk taking over her lips.
Nijika and Kita held similar expressions, and suddenly the atmosphere in the van felt very light.
“Three flavors at the same time?” Ryo said. “You’re so greedy, Bocchi.”
Nijika snorted and then coughed, trying to hold back laughter for Hitori’s sake. Kita bit her lip in order to suppress her own. Ryo just chuckled softly.
The van grew quiet, only the sound of the motor and the wheels on crappy, broken asphalt remained.
Hitori felt at peace for a moment due to the lightened mood, the sound of a running vehicle being at least somewhat comforting through everything as well. But her head was still swimming and she couldn't focus on anything without her vision blurring, so she just kept her eyes shut and her face as close to Ryo as possible.
The familiar scent of cedarwood was the only thing keeping her even a little bit lucid. She had no idea why Ryo had made the switch to it years ago, and at this point all she cared about was how it made the situation just a tad more pleasant than otherwise.
That's when a stray chill passed over her, causing a shiver that Ryo reacted to immediately.
"Mm? Are you cold, Bocchi?"
All Hitori could do was nod, clutching at her stomach and feeling absolutely pathetic as she felt her girlfriend's hand rest against her forehead softly.
Nijika turned back to check on her again, and seeing the shivers reached down to the floorboard and grabbed her jacket before handing it off to Ryo.
She laid the soft, yellow, lightly floral scented fabric over Hitori, who clutched at it like it was the most important thing in the world.
In that moment, it honestly was. She barely felt grounded, but now she was surrounded by the scent of two of her loves, and the only thing that was missing was a fruity scent from some trendy high-schoolers' perfume.
Kita's taste never grew up with her, but that was charming in its own way. Just the thought made Hitori smile.
"How are you feeling now?" Ryo whispered down to her quietly.
Hitori's throat hurt, she could barely lift her body to reposition even slightly and she was pretty sure that she was going to have the worst hangover of her life the next time she woke up.
But she felt sleepy, and as she looked up to Ryo she smiled the tiniest, weakest smile of her life. "B-better now…"
Ryo just smiled back, almost unconsciously going back to stroking her head as her eyes fell closed.
"I love you… girls…" She managed to croak out as she fell asleep.
Nijika turned around once again, giving a glance to Hitori before looking at Ryo. "What'd she say?"
"She said she loves us."