Work Text:
The blond kept fiddling with his phone, scrolling through pointless social media posts. It was a rather bleak autumn day, with rain pouring down on the neighbourhood. The outer space was cold yet the window was slightly ajar, allowing milky drops to enter their small, fuzzy home. It wasn’t actually their home in the literal sense, but Kaoru would consider this place to be his home, their home. Not that he’d admit that.
He was on Rei’s bed, legs and arms entangled with a sleeping Rei. The older boy had a small apartment to his name near RhyLink’s office, with a soft bed of average width that required the boys to get squished, whenever they wanted to lay on the singular bed together. Most of the time, Rei didn’t prefer being there by himself, only went there as a last resort or when he was simply too tired to go much further than the office building. Or maybe whenever he wanted to get squished together with a certain blond on a certain bed, picked by a certain someone.
The vampire was full asleep, his legs and arm trapping Kaoru in his place, and he couldn’t bring himself to risk startling or waking him up, not that he especially wanted to move. For the blond, it was simply another day of doom scrolling. Kaoru didn’t really know why he was spending so much time on his phone, mindlessly scrolling. Perhaps the mysterious device in his hands purely acted as a distracting property—perhaps this was one of the mysteries of technology he still had yet to discover. The sky on top of him wept like a newborn child and the fresh scent of soil travelled airborne with a speed close to that of mom’s freshly baked pie, yet he was consciously choosing to ignore the pretty poetry and keep his focus on empty 144p cinematics low on volume or vieux jeu fashion posts. (As not to wake up the older boy.)
“Kaoru-kun?”
Kaoru nearly flinched at the sudden movement that was occuring right next to him—the aforementioned boy was already waking up, it seemed, after maybe an hour or so. Kaoru felt the boy’s chin come up to and rest on his own shoulder, tightening his left arm that fully embraced the blond’s waist, even while sleeping.
“Morning, sleepy. It’s raining.”
“I can see.”
“Can I pretty please have something to eat? Or drink?”
“Pffft- you know you don’t have to ask me for that.” The older boy chuckled.
“No fair. How could I dare wake you up when you were sleeping so peacefully?”
“I was?”
Rei had at that point gotten completely up, now sitting on top of Kaoru while his arms on either side of the blond supported his torso.
“You were. Drinks, please? I think I just might die of thirst.”
“Alright, alright,” And with a gentle expression Rei left the bed and made his way inside.
“Whatever my princess wants.”
“Hey!!!!”
——————
“Oh, Koga-kun told me you cancelled practice, because I wasn’t going to be there~ Does my old sport Rei-kun miss me during practice?”
Kaoru’s arms were wrapped around the older boy’s waist, his chin resting on his shoulder, leaning into his neck. They both were having difficulty walking or maintaining their balance in this specific position.
“I suppose you do not, since you can so easily prefer to go on dates than do me the honours of practising with you.”
Rei’s voice was pouty, with a little hint of sorrow. Genuine sorrow, Kaoru could recognise the vampire’s small shifts in tone from miles away.
“That’s not true~ Last week was a one time thing! Won’t happen again.”
“Really? It won’t? You don’t have me convinced, Kaoru dearest.”
“I’m telling you it won’t!~ My unitmates are veeery important to me, after all.”
Maybe Kaoru was trying to clear a misunderstanding. Maybe Rei wanted to see how far he could push.
“Your unit as a whole, is, but won’t you spare this old man his poor, throbbing heart?”
“No way! Rei-kun’s poor heart has a very special place in mine~”
“Hmm, I don’t recall this ever being brought into light. Confess now, boy, what are you up to?!?!? Do you plead guilty for your crimes?”
Rei snatched with a sudden turn and gripped the blond, whilst starting to violently tickle-attack him. Sounds of golden laughter filled the home , because Kaoru felt home. He felt home and he felt love, he felt care and he felt something much more complex, something that kept eating away at his neurons and something that proved reason enough to bother his daily thoughts. And if he ever were to acknowledge it he would feel the warmth of a once standing mother. (But would he? But could he?)
Rei’s gaze never once left the blond and in those eyes he saw stars, he saw comfort and he saw a strikingly beautiful esplanade. (What a death! / I died writing that song.) With Rei he felt like a kid. He felt like a kid yet he found himself on an empty playground with a new friend. (Mama wants some answers / Do you remember where it all went wrong?) The boys got up from the ground as the childish, tender dream melted into reality—leaving two men alone in a small flat.
Rei slowly got up, giving the blond a hand to help him up, too. Now that both men were up, Rei turned towards the kitchen—in a futile attempt to maybe get a glass of something to wetten his mouth with. Kaoru suddenly held onto the older boy’s waist from behind, very tightly, as if the fate of the entire universe would be decided upon this particular action. He decided he would take the chance, because—screw it. Right? He didn’t really care anymore. (And that was false. In fact he would not care about it until at best a couple of days later. But it wasn’t like it really mattered. Did it?)
“But I do love you.” First his heart was contracting and releasing in uncomfortable ways. Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump…
“Kaoru.” Then his stomach, twisted and turned and screeched and squeezed in uncomfortable ways.
The older boy held a hand up as he turned around to face the blond and cupped his cheek gently. His other hand lightly gripped his waist and they were making eye contact. And Kaoru was staring at him all starry eyed and for once Rei wasn’t sure what to do, he didn’t know what to do. Even though he was always supposed to be the one that knew, with Kaoru it’d been different from the very beginning. Being around the blond made Rei frequently and consistently lose his train of thought, made him put down his walls, relax and get comfortable, because with Kaoru he didn’t have to worry about how he behaved or what he said. Which wasn’t something he was much used to. Unlike right now. Right now he very much had to act logical so as to not mess this up. He really didn’t know how to approach this.
“No, Rei. I mean I’m in love with you.” The words felt like a burning, gnawing lump in his throat. They happily burnt and ate away at his chords.
Kaoru was still staring, and if Rei didn’t know any better, he would say the blond was staring almost expectantly .
“Are you? Those are heavy words.” (Oh, the dawn won’t stop weighing a tonne.)
“Come on. You don’t need me to spell it out loud. I do love you.” (When you were just about to orbit the sun.)
“I know you do. That's a matter of fact. Like how the sky is blue, or cake tastes sweet. Rei loves Kaoru. Kaoru loves Rei. Everyone knows that.” He said with Kaoru held tightly in his arms. They made eye contact.
“I fucking know, Rei. I know what I’m saying, dammit, I know exactly what I said.” He kept pushing the stupid vampire away and half-willingly averted the deep red eyes that were currently very busy checking him out.
Rei’s gaze travelled all over the blond’s lightly tanned, freckled face and landed on his lips. Now, he was also staring. Staring so obviously that he was afraid he’d get caught in the act. The realisation hit that their faces weren’t many centimetres apart. The cruellest of experiences were condemned through realisation.
“Really?”
And maybe if he had looked just a little more carefully, he would’ve noticed how red Kaoru’s cheeks were getting. And if he had been just a little more aware, he would’ve felt Kaoru’s heart beating against his chest.
“Yes. Really.”
Kaoru was more embarrassed (and irritated) than ashamed. Both of their faces were slightly turned to the sides now, in opposite directions, frantically trying to avoid eye contact.
“I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to believe those words unless you, say, grab my face and kiss me without having any regrets or girl hookups afterwards.”
“Do I have to?”
“You do. If you mean what you say.”
This time, maybe for the first time in a while, Kaoru didn’t feel uncomfortable. But he felt extremely embarrassed. Him? Kissing a boy ? By himself? Him initiating the kiss? Talk about irrational. (And so he took the craftier approach.)
“So you don’t believe me.” (Which was bound to backfire.)
“I’m afraid I don’t. It seems like I need you to prove what you say is indeed truthful.” (Was he enjoying this? He was definitely enjoying this. All vampires in the world be damned, with their stale stories and condescending snarls.)
“Is that so?”
“Very much so.”
Rei grabbed Kaoru’s face gently. His palms cupped Kaoru’s cheeks like no one had ever done and all of his previous anxiety was swept away efficiently within a short span of time. Their noses were practically brushing and his lips were close, so close to the blond’s that they were about to touch. His half lidded eyes were still on Kaoru’s lips, while the other was looking at him wide eyed. Kaoru’s face grew hot because the distance between their lips were only growing closer, and closer, only to stay like that for a while. A very, unbearably long while.
And suddenly he felt the older boy shift in his place. He took a deep breath. Almost as if he were a poor little submarine, bracing for impact. And let out a small puzzled sound as Rei brushed past his face, nuzzling his head into the blond’s neck as if to hide himself—right about now Rei’s face was heating up and brows curled, because he was extremely over-the-edge. Right about now, he would be extremely afraid his heartbeat would be felt against the thick layer of fabric coated over both of their bodies. But it’d seem Kaoru wasn't in much of a better predicament either, because his face was also very much red—and a little bit disappointed. Just a little bit.
Rei was on the verge of tears, for many reasons, but mostly because he was afraid and he was hesitant yet not sure how long his small heart could take it without touching him, without feeling him, without kissing him, without tasting the skin on his lips and he kept hugging into the blond and not letting go because he really didn’t want him to see his face right now. Because Rei was afraid, afraid of going too far, afraid of pushing Kaoru too far. To the point of pushing him away . He was afraid of all the things that were being left untold and he was maybe the most afraid of the aftermath. If he hadn’t missed his lips just then, what would have become of them tomorrow? The older boy was in a frenzy searching every bit of his mind to find the answers in order to act rationally, all the while Kaoru was internally going to explode. He was sure the wires in his brain were fried because his insides and his face felt so hot, so so hot, damn, had he ever felt like this before? His mind was practically blank and all that ever occupied it was thoughts of Rei, thoughts of his hands being on the blond’s body, thoughts of his lips that had just barely missed his lips.
Kaoru let the squirming feelings of his insides slowly sink in, letting the fuzzy tingling travel all over his body, from his head to his heart and from his chest to his stomach. He took them gently, because it was too much, the heat was too much and the feelings were too much and his desperation was too much, because they were only growing second by second, because they were too much to take in at once. Kaoru hugged the older boy tightly, as if to make a promise, that he would never, not even if he wanted to ever allow himself to let go, because it was beyond impossible for him to want to let go. Yet he felt Rei wasn’t very aware of that (he definitely was not). And so he, did the only thing that seemed reasonable at that moment.
He bravely took Rei’s face into his hands and raised him from where he was sulking. And without giving himself any time to dwell on it, Kaoru grabbed the stupid vampire’s face—and kissed him. And the moment their lips met, it was almost as if Kaoru had unknowingly ignited a spark in the latter, because Rei was kissing him back like no other girl had ever done. They were kissing and it didn’t take Rei much time to adjust to the ever-changing atmosphere and soon his hands were cupping the blond’s cheeks. He kept his grip firm and kissed Kaoru without giving him any chances to pull back as if the boy in his arms would dissipate the moment he did pull back. It was so, so out of character for him—the all and mighty Rei Sakuma was kissing a boy without any regard to rationality or consequences or perfectly organised and well thought plans or whatever he was supposed to always keep in mind. Here stood not the Rei Sakuma but rather Rei, Rei who was kind, Rei who was gentle, Rei who was tired and Rei who felt lonely, and also Rei who was unbearably and frighteningly in love. At the same time, there stood also not Hakaze, but rather just a boy who missed (and maybe even forgot) the warmth of genuine love. And a combination of these two types of people always seemed to be damned by the stars.
——————
The foolish boys were lost in their very own universe, until a loud thud came—from the ground. And before they knew it Rei was holding the blond’s waist so he didn’t fall.
“Shit, are you okay?”
“Yes I’m… a wine bottle? And what may this be doing here?”
Kaoru started giggling before he could gain his composure. He let Rei’s arms carry his weight.
“It’s empty.”
“…”
“…”
“Yes, I can see that.”
“I didn’t bother putting it elsewhere, because it never frankly crossed my mind that I'd be making out with you right next to it.” Rei straightened Kaoru’s back, letting him stand on his feet properly and pulling him close.
“Me, specifically? So you would’ve thought of someone else?”
“No, no no no no no, no! I didn’t expect to make out with you. I wouldn’t ever even dream of having someone else here.”
“Dream of? So you mean having someone else would be like a dream for you?”
“Kaoru.” Kaoru averted his eyes. Maybe he went too far.
“Kaoru-kun, look at me.” Rei gently cupped the blond’s cheeks and turned to face him.
“I don’t want anyone else to be here. Or to make out with. Do you have any idea how long I’ve been pushing my own feelings away?” He took a strand of golden hair and twirled and tangled it around his fingers. Kaoru was looking at him with gleaming eyes. Their stares met.
“I didn’t want to force anything on you,”
“I know you didn’t.”
“I am aware you know.” Kaoru tightened his grip.
“But that doesn’t change the fact that I care about you. It never did, Kaoru. I’m happy with you. And I never had eyes for anyone else. Not when you’re the only one to occupy every single thought that crosses my mind, shape every little choice I make, give me something to look forward to in the mornings. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Not in a million years.”
Kaoru was flustered. So so flustered.
“Sometimes I am afraid my love for you is too much for this small body of mine.”
“I was just joking. I didn’t really mean that.”
“I know you didn’t. I just wanted to tell you.” Rei patted the younger’s head softly and planted a chaste kiss on his forehead as a means of reassurement. Reassurement that he was safe, that he was loved, and that he was allowed to be selfish, because words sometimes didn’t suffice.
And just then, Kaoru’s feet touched the ice-cold bottle laying on the ground. He couldn’t help but giggle. And then followed Rei. Their laughter only built up, up and up and Rei was smiling. He was at peace and he had a boy in his arms.
“Well, next time, you should consider cleaning the floor of any objects that may act as an obstacle.”
The older boy grabbed the blond’s face with one hand and smiled stupid into the kiss. Kaoru rested his back on the wall and wrapped his arms around the former’s neck to support his weight.
“All I’m hearing is that there’s going to be a next time.”
“Oh, shut up…”