Chapter Text
It was one of the worst decisions of Loki’s life, but then, it was also the only decision he could have made.
Anthony was lying on the floor; pale, coughing blood and far beyond the healing of the golden realm, let alone Midgard. Loki had trembled with his hands over the man’s chest as Rogers had demanded if there was anything he could do.
He’d said "yes", he’d said "it has consequences" and Anthony’s blood-stained hand had grabbed his wrist weakly and said, "do it".
The mortal’s gaze had been shadowed by pain, but it had been no less determined. Loki’s magic had dived into Anthony. He’d chanted the words; he’d wound his magic around the mortal. He’d poured everything he had into the spell so that it would work.
And it had.
The spell had snapped into place; a firm, unbreakable tether that heightened his magic and flared around them both, but specifically Anthony, healing the wounds and making sure he would live.
Loki had crumpled forward, exhausted by magic and emotion—but even as the height of the spell had faded, his seidr had still hummed under his skin, pleased in a way it had never been in the past. Finally anchored, finally settled.
Everyone had been delighted, slapping his back as Anthony laughed and said "fuck, I’m alive, shit that felt way too close."
Amid them all, he’d been silent, but so had another voice. Because, despite not being a mage, Thor had grown up upon Asgard. He would know a mage bond when he saw one. He would also understand that one of this magnitude could not be made lightly.
No, the mage in question would have to truly love the recipient. They would have to have been willing to tie their very lifeline to the other person’s.
And Anthony Stark, happily in a relationship with Pepper Potts, would have no idea of the spell’s nature, nor of his feelings, or have any likelihood of returning them.
But when faced with the death of the man he loved? When given that man’s permission to perform whatever was needed? What other decision could he have possibly made but the one that bound them together?
Thor kept his mouth shut, thankfully. He shot Loki glances that spoke of a long and prying conversation to come, but Loki had the excuse of being exhausted. Such an act had left him weak as even though his magic was, in theory, still whole, it was now hovering protectively over Anthony and sparking along the bond.
Rogers had helped him to his feet and got him into the quinjet. Anthony was checked over by Banner but once the man was finished, he was fast to come back to Loki’s side. He sat down beside him, their bodies flush. Anthony even touched his wrist, not seeming to notice his overly affectionate actions.
“Lokes? Are you okay? You’re not about to keel over are you?”
“No,” Loki said, his voice a low rasp. “I merely drained myself. I will recover.”
“I appreciate what you did. You saved my life.” He breathed out shakily. “I know that was… closer than I’ve been in a long time. Probably closer than Afghanistan even.”
Loki shuddered, unable to stop it when it brought to mind how near he’d been to losing him. Anthony’s thumb stroked his wrist and Loki desperately wanted to lean into the mortal; to soak up the man’s warmth, his life.
But he is not yours, his mind whispered. He is another’s.
Loki tugged his arm away. Anthony blinked and looked down, seeming surprised.
“Do not thank me yet,” Loki said. “I warned you of consequences.”
“Like you being magically drained?” Anthony questioned. He then frowned, speaking cautiously, “Like me… touching you more than normal?”
Loki couldn’t look at him.
“Yes.”
“Going to elaborate?”
“Preferably after I’ve had a few hours of rest.”
Truthfully, just sitting beside Anthony would be more beneficial than any kind of sleep, but he was not yet willing to explain exactly what he had done. Especially when it would involve keeping a firm check on his emotions. Something which he wasn’t sure he would be capable of right now.
“Aye,” Thor said loudly, coming over to them. “My brother does need rest. It is a complex and powerful spell Loki has cast. I shall assist him to his rooms and make certain he shall be fine.”
Loki eyed his brother; well aware the man merely wanted a chance to talk to him alone.
“Is that necessary?” Rogers asked, looking concerned. “Do we need to monitor Loki?”
Loki scoffed. “Hardly. He is merely being overdramatic.”
“Will you deny me Loki?” Thor asked, noticeable challenge in his tone.
On any other occasion, he would, but Thor knew exactly what he had done and the last thing he wanted was to have Thor and Anthony in a room alone before he had a chance to explain a more… palatable version of the truth.
So, he said nothing.
He could tell the others were still concerned, hardly used to him going without a fight. But it was the one person he didn’t want prying that did.
“Are you really going to be okay?” Anthony asked, his voice low. “Please tell me you didn’t just take on the damage that was meant for me?”
“The damage was not meant for you,” Loki countered. “You were merely struck down as one often is in battle.”
“Don’t split semantics. Are you okay?”
Loki sighed, but he could not help feeling warmed by Anthony’s concern. He dared to look at the mortal, seeing the worry that was plain on his face.
“I am not wounded,” Loki answered. “Nor am I in threat of dying. I truly just need rest. In a few hours, I will visit your penthouse and we can discuss the spell.”
Anthony eyed him shrewdly before eventually nodding.
“Okay.” He offered a faint smile. “I’m really glad you’re okay, Lokes.”
He then bumped their shoulders together and Loki felt even more warmed by the touch. When Anthony left their arms flush, Loki did not pull away, but he could feel his brother’s gaze on them. Loki closed his eyes rather than face any of it.
Surely after saving someone’s life he was allowed to selfishly enjoy a few minutes of closeness when Anthony rarely bestowed it?
Thor, predictably, followed at his heels like a hound. He had rested a hand on his shoulder after leaving the quinjet but Loki had shoved it off the moment they were out of sight of the others. Thor, however, was not daunted. He followed him to his rooms.
The moment the door was shut, he began, “Loki, you cast-”
Loki held up his hand in a harsh silencing gesture. Thor stopped mid word but glared heavily.
“JARVIS,” he said. “I do apologise.”
It was the only warning he gave the A.I. before he twisted his hand, distorting all sensors so as to keep their conversation private.
Thor’s frown deepened. “Stark will not appreciate that.”
“Anthony will suffer many things he will not appreciate in the coming weeks.”
Loki could not keep all the bitterness from his voice. Thor’s expression immediately softened. He started to step closer, but Loki backed away. He held up his hand again, hoping to bar the man from further advances.
“Do not try to coddle me as if I am a child. I made the decision knowing what it would entail.”
“Loki, you bonded with him.”
“Yes, I was there.”
Thor ignored his dry tone and his hand. He continued to step closer, his expression overflowing with compassion.
“You must love him very deeply, brother.”
Loki flinched. It was the lapse in concentration Thor needed to get close enough to touch his arm. Loki stayed rigid.
“You made a great sacrifice for him. He does not know, does he?”
“Are you asking does he know that I bonded his life to mine? Of course not. That is what I will explain to him this evening.”
“No, Loki,” Thor said gently. “He does not know how deeply you care for him.”
Loki looked away, staring at a spot on the wall.
“How would knowing help?” Loki asked quietly. “The man is committed to his woman. Even were he inclined to love a man…” Loki sighed. “I arrived too late to have had the chance.”
“Loki,” Thor said, a wealth of sorrow in his voice.
Loki cringed and he would have stepped away if Thor hadn’t acted first, tugging him into a hug that immediately had him tensing. But the embrace was as familiar as Frigga’s and almost as comforting. He was also so very drained and far too vulnerable.
He closed his eyes and while he did not outright return the embrace, he leant against his brother and let the man hug him.
It had truly been a harrowing day, and he could not refuse the comfort. He knew that the next few days would only be worse, for although Anthony had not died, there were a host of complications that he wasn’t sure the mortal would ever be ready for.
Despite Thor being willing, Loki did not let him stay long. He sent him away, telling him to attend to the others and keep an eye on Anthony. He had nodded and insisted: “Whatever you need brother. This road will not be easy for you, but you will have my support.”
Loki knew the man would take the role seriously. Anthony had, in essence, become a brother-in-law to him. Even if it was not in the typical or full way that the term would normally be applied.
Truthfully, the whole idea made him so incredibly tired.
On the way to his bed, he had returned JARVIS’ sensors. The A.I. had been noticeably frosty to him over being taken offline, but Loki knew there was little he could do to appease him. So, he merely dropped down on his mattress and closed his eyes.
Unsurprisingly, Anthony immediately came to mind.
Anthony was often on his thoughts when he laid in bed, waiting for sleep to take him as he recalled the activities of the day. If he was feeling particularly maudlin, he would imagine the many ways they could have been different if only circumstance could have allowed.
Foolish, of course, for as he had told Thor, even had he arrived before Anthony committed to Miss Potts, there was no guarantee the man would have ever glanced his way.
But, despite knowing the futility of it, Loki could not help focusing on the man’s presence. He was in the lab, Loki could sense him; warm, alive and in the midst of inventing. Loki smiled, feeling calmer already just by touching the connection between them.
The bond, of course, wanted him to deepen the joining; be closer, let their minds and bodies meld as his seidr curled around them… but, Loki had no intention of encouraging the bond. For a few hours of recuperative rest, he would think of Anthony and feel grateful he was safe, but no more.
The man was alive, that was all he should content himself with—and yet, despite his best attempts, as sleep hovered on the edge of his mind, Loki could not help remembering the hand on his wrist and the feel of their bodies together. He even, for a brief moment, imagined cupping the man’s cheek, their foreheads pressed together and their lips brushing—but he was asleep before he could feel too guilty about it.
Waking however, was a different thing. The kiss was the first thought on his mind and he winced. He pushed off the bed and ran a hand through his hair. Ever since it had developed, his affection and attraction to Anthony had never been far from his mind or heart, but the bond was going to exacerbate it.
He’d want to be closer, to touch him, to feel his seidr winding around his chosen life partner, to love him openly and honestly as the bond cried out for him to do. But, he couldn’t and not even the influence of the bond was going to make him give up that unwanted secret.
He still felt no more prepared to explain the situation than he had before sleeping. But after checking the time, bathing and spending a good half hour devising what he would say, he felt ready to face Anthony.
Of course, he was less ready to face Miss Potts and the hostility that he found in the penthouse.
It was not anger directed at him, but as he exited the elevator and made his way onto Anthony’s floor, he was privy to raised voices: Anthony and his lover were arguing.
Amidst his concern and guilt was a small and selfishly pleased part. He hardly wanted Anthony unhappy, but he could not help hoping for a chance to have the man all to himself. He always tried to pretend that part of him didn’t exist. He was pitifully bad at maintaining friendships and the last thing he wanted to do was ruin the one he had with Anthony. It was why, no matter the cost to himself, he would always be there to help him.
Stepping further into the penthouse, he was cautious as he approached. However, it quickly became plain that Pepper Potts was chastising the man for being injured and for putting him in a position to have drained his seidr. The concern for his wellbeing was undeserved, but only further highlighted how good the woman was, and therefore, far more fitting to be with Anthony than him.
“I couldn’t help it, Pep,” Anthony insisted. “I wasn’t even trying to be a target. I just got hit!”
“And how many more times is it going to take? How long until Loki or someone else isn’t there to save you?”
“I can’t stop being a hero. The world needs Iron Man.”
“The world doesn’t need you dying!”
Her voice seemed to echo as silence fell. Loki felt like an intruder and he almost considered leaving without their knowledge, but JARVIS took the option from him. He gave a series of beeps; the kind Loki was used to from the lab when Anthony had put him on mute.
“What is it, J?” Anthony asked, noticeably frustrated.
“Mr Liesmith is here to see you.”
There was a pause before two sets of feet moved from where they’d been in the bedroom to come out and find him standing uncomfortably near the bar.
“Loki,” Anthony said, grimacing. “Shit. Um. I hope you haven’t been here too long?”
“I apologise,” he murmured. “I had believed JARVIS informed you of my presence.”
“He tried,” Miss Potts answered tersely. “We were preoccupied.” She then let out a soft breath before stepping forward. Her frustrated expression smoothed out to one of tiredness and lingering concern. “Are you feeling better, Loki?”
“I am fine.”
“I’m glad.” She lightly touched his arm. “Thank you for saving, Tony. I heard it drained a lot of your magic to do it.”
“That is not… entirely accurate,” Loki said carefully. “My magic was merely… elsewhere.”
“You mean with me,” Anthony said, stepping closer. “JARVIS mentioned he could read your magic coming from me.” He smiled wryly. “And he said you took him offline to talk to Thor. He’s pretty pissed about that. Thor said it was just a private Asgardian matter. I get the feeling it was more about what you did.” A flicker of concern crossed his expression. “It wasn’t illegal was it?”
Loki hesitated. It was just enough for Miss Potts and Anthony to look alarmed.
“It was not illegal,” he hurried to insist. “But it was not strictly condoned to have done it without your express permission.”
“I gave permission,” Anthony said firmly. He came even closer and touched Loki’s arm, a mirror of what his woman had done, but far more welcome. “If anyone on Asgard tries to complain, I’ll make damn sure they know.”
“That is… kind of you, but you do not know what I did.”
“I trusted you,” Anthony insisted. “Did then, do now.”
The statement both warmed him and made him feel guilty. He wasn’t sure what showed on his face, but Miss Potts touched her lover.
“Tony, how about we let him talk. Whatever this is, it’s important we hear it from him, not with you interjecting all the time.”
Anthony shot her a look, something a little annoyed, but it quickly smoothed out. “Right, yeah. Okay.”
He didn’t gesture him over, which would have been usual. Instead, Anthony guided him with a hand still wrapped around his arm. Miss Potts noticed, frowning with confusion. Loki felt an uncomfortable pleasure at Anthony’s touch, because oh, he loved being the one touched over the man's woman but it also mixed far too potently with his guilt.
When they reached the furnishings, Loki gently pulled away from Anthony. The man blinked only to look at his hand and wince.
“Right, so, that hasn’t stopped.”
“No,” Loki said, “nor will it for some time.”
He gestured at the couch and the two mortals took a seat, he remained standing and out of touching range of Anthony. They looked up at him with puzzled expressions.
Loki pulled in a careful breath. His emotions had been carefully locked behind his many masks, buried under layers of repression in preparation for standing before his bonded. He could not afford to weaken, because if Anthony learned the truth their friendship and companionship, it would be lost. He couldn’t—wouldn’t risk it.
“You were dying,” Loki said curtly. Miss Potts clenched her hands in her lap while Anthony winced. “Nothing on Midgard or Asgard would have been able to save you. It required something stronger than healing.”
“What the hell is stronger than healing?”
“A bond.”
“What do you mean by ‘a bond’?” Miss Potts questioned.
And this was where he had to be… careful.
“Anthony was compatible with my magic,” he answered truthfully. “I was able to use that connection to tether his life to mine.” He placed his hands behind his back, keeping his tone smooth and even. “I assure you; it need not be an invasive thing. Currently, Anthony is feeling a need to be close to me, that is merely because the magic emanating from him seeks to be closer to my seidr. It will pass given time. It will-”
“Wait, just hold up,” Anthony raised his hand in a halting gesture. “Let’s get back to the fact my life is tethered to yours?”
Loki pressed his lips together. He took a second to compose himself and his answer before starting again.
“Your injuries were too vast for mortal healing. A bond was the only option.”
“And what does that mean? Tethered implies entangled as if you’re saying my life is now set to match yours?”
Loki was silent. As the quiet stretched, Anthony’s eyes widened until he dropped back more heavily against the couch. Clearly, the implication had sunk in.
“Tony’s Asgardian now?” Miss Potts asked, her voice a little faint.
“No. He is, in essence, still mortal. My seidr will merely act as an accelerant, improving his healing and helping him recover from most injuries.”
“And what about his life?” she asked. “It’s not just going to stop at mending a broken bone or a cut, is it?”
Her perception and practicality would be commendable if he was not so wholly envious of her. He had always tried to treat her with respect and politeness but in this moment, when he was discussing the bond not with his beloved but with the man’s woman, Loki so desperately wished that she could be sent far away.
But, he did not have that option.
“No,” he admitted quietly. “It will heal him of much more than that.”
Because Anthony would live and for far more than a mortal. He was Loki’s bonded and the man would now survive as long as he did.
In response, the two mortals fell silent. Miss Potts stared at her hands, Anthony seemed to be looking into the distance. Loki only allowed himself a few moments to gaze at the mortal, his mortal, even if Anthony never would be, outside the privacy of his own mind.
But they were bonded. Even if he never had the man’s love, he had a seidr bond and a connection to the man that no other could duplicate. It, and his friendship, would be enough.
“I understand if this will take you both some time to digest,” Loki said quietly. “I will leave and you may seek me should you have further questions.”
It seemed to startle them both from their thoughts.
“Wait, Loki-” Anthony began.
“Please, don’t-” Miss Potts said.
They both stopped and looked at each other. Miss Potts reached out and clasped Anthony’s hand.
Loki did not outwardly react, but inside, he ached.
Miss Potts looked back at him first.
“Please, Loki. This is a big change for all of us. We would both like you to stay for dinner. We can take the time to understand what this means for you both, and how to move forward.”
“I do not wish to interrupt your time together,” Loki said. “Anthony has been through an ordeal, I understand if you wish to dine alone.”
Miss Potts’ smile was wry. “Honestly, Loki. You’re probably the only thing that will keep him out of the lab tonight.”
There was something almost tired in her voice and it reminded him of the argument he had unwittingly interrupted. Anthony looked guilty and frustrated. And Loki could not help but wonder how often they fought over the man’s heroics and injuries.
Perhaps the bond might ease the woman’s fear and strengthen their relationship?
It upset him more than he wished to admit.
But for all that Loki knew remaining would be trying on his emotional shields, and further gnaw at his guilt, he so desperately wanted to be near Anthony. It made him give a nod of consent far too easily.
After all, they did deserve their questions, and he his penance for so wholly entangling himself in their relationship through the bond he had forged.