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"He's not... feeling well."
Tomas blinks at her, noticing the way Kitana's brows turn down. He had been invited to outworld, along with Kuai Liang, to help train some of the palace army. Tomas had already gone through a number of the members, as many of them were eager to be training with the Shirai Ryu. They knew they had much to learn.
And now he was hoping to greet the empress' emissary, since they had a very... special relationship. One that not many knew of, Kitana and Mileena being two of the few. You could not flaunt such a relationship out in the open around here, so they had to be careful.
Tomas had not run into him once while roaming the palace, wondering if he was sent on a mission for the princess. His eyebrows raise when Kitana tells him he isn't feeling well, clearly asking for more of an explanation. She sighs as she pushes back some hair over her shoulder.
"He was doing fine yesterday, but Mileena went to check on him this morning. He's usually up quite early on duty, it was unlike him."
"You're right." Tomas agrees.
"I think he's having a difficult day. So I pushed his next job back a few days, it seems he can barely get out of bed." She looks down at the floor, her eyes slightly tired.
"After he explained to me, I thought it appropriate to do so. I know how difficult it is to get back up after great loss. If my sister wasn't at my side..." She stops herself, deeming the timing not entirely right. She clears her throat as she looks back up at Tomas.
"Sorry, this is not about me."
"Don't apologize, Princess. I too understand grief." They both take a moment to appreciate the mutual understanding, silence between them as Tomas tucks away his kurambit. When they collect themselves, Tomas turns back to Kitana, having an obvious question he doesn't even need to ask.
"You know where his room is. Go ahead, I'll make sure no one disturbs the two of you. He might be more willing to speak with you than he is with me right now." She gives him a small smile, noticing the relief in his eyes.
"Thank you, Princess. I will." Before he could walk off, he stops himself, turning his gaze back over to her.
"Please tell Hanzo and Kuai Liang to go back without me, I will meet up with them later."
"I will, Tomas. Now go, he waits for you." Tomas nods and finally lets himself leave.
Syzoth is a very emotional man. Though he had trouble showing it most of the time, hiding it under an awkward facade, Tomas has payed witness to it several times. It was not too long ago when they went to war against Shang Tsung and his army, and it was not too long since he learned that Syzoth's family had been brutally murdered.
And Tomas truly can't comprehend how Syzoth had managed to keep himself together for this long. He busied himself with his duties from the empress, he avoided any questions Tomas had on his well-being. It was hard to watch, someone you care about so much trying so hard to get through the day. Tomas worries for him.
When he reached the door to the room, he takes a look around the hall to make sure it is clear before he allows himself in. There was no use knocking, somehow he knew Syzoth wouldn't answer him if he did. There's a small creak from the door as he takes a step inside, the room is a bit cold, and he quickly spots the large lump over the bed.
Syzoth's body tenses up when he hears someone enter his room. His eyebrows are knit together in frustration, and he shifts under the covers, if only to press himself deeper into his pillow. Someone is stepping closer to his bed, and he has to stop himself from growling out the words on the tip of his tongue.
"You have the wrong room." His voice came out much more strained than he expected it to, surprising himself. When he feels the bed sink in, he almost goes on guard.
"No, I don't think I do." Tomas replies softly, slowly crawling over the empty side of the bed. And just like that, Syzoth feels the defenses he had carefully crafted for weeks begin to chip away. The last person he wanted to see him like this was Tomas, he keeps a firm hold on his blanket.
"Please, leave me alone." He isn't even angry, he's begging Tomas to stay away from him. Not because it would make things worse, but because it would make things better. It would mean facing the facts he had been trying not to process for so long.
Tomas has moved closer, one of his arms circling around Syzoth's body over the blanket. He could feel through it how tense his body was, how unwilling it was to allow Syzoth to feel anything he should be feeling. Tomas holds his back close against his chest, his nose pressing into the top of Syzoth's back.
"That wouldn't be a good idea." He says quietly, and if he had the strength to, Syzoth would have pulled his way out of his hold. But he lacks the energy to do anything right now.
"You shouldn't be in here."
"It's too late to say that. Besides, the princess allowed me." Syzoth's lips part open, only to close when he feels them threaten to quiver.
"I don't want you in here." He tries to keep his voice level, but it is already breaking on him, making those words sound like the clear lie they were meant to be. Tomas' hold tightens around him, he could feel his mouth moving against his clothed back when he speaks.
"Syzoth." He doesn't say anything, he just grips the blanket tighter. His heart is racing all over again, and it's making him feel sick.
"Syzoth, what's wrong?" Tomas asks gently, because he can hear the way Syzoth's breaths get louder. His lips are pressed into his shoulder, and he patiently waits for Syzoth to give him any sort of reply. He half expects to be shoved off the bed, but that's not at all what he gets.
Syzoth's lips are quivering again, for some reason, having Tomas pressed up against him is making that sinking feeling a lot harder to fight against. His hands are shaking when he moves them up to wipe at his own eye, his skin already feeling itchy from the tears before. A sigh leaves him as he does so, and he desperately holds on to the cry that tries to escape him. It does, and it's the start of a much bigger pain in his chest.
"Syzoth?" Tomas whispers, hearing a crack in the Zaterran's voice that is so unlike him. Syzoth is taking in sharp and quivering breathes. He wants to answer Tomas, and he doesn't know why that has become so hard to do. He is beginning to curl in on himself, feeling Tomas lean further against his back as he does so.
"I don't-" He starts, and his voice is the lightest it has ever gone. So pained, Tomas could practically hear the heartbreak.
"I don't feel so good..." Syzoth is defeated by his own words. After he says them, he already feels like throwing up. He feels like he can't breath, and his tears are falling after he lets out a cry against his pillow.
Tomas dips his arms under the thick blanket he's covered in, to reach his body better. He goes back to holding him, his hand finding Syzoth's stomach and rubbing circles into it, as if to soothe any pain there.
Tomas wouldn't dare tell him to stop crying. He remembers how hard he cried himself when he lost his mother, his sister. But the people surrounding him didn't know what to do. He was always told tears were a sign of weakness. It is the one thing that Tomas would disagree on with his father.
That being said, he didn't want Syzoth to hurt himself. He could tell his cries were unrestrained, his chest heaving with each stuttering breath he took. Tomas softly shushes him as he pressed his face into the back of his neck, his hand pressing into his stomach.
"Breathe." Syzoth's hand went to clutch onto the arm wrapped around him for leverage. Tomas' heart shatters with every broken cry that leaves his lips. This is the first he's seen Syzoth this way, and he knows it isn't to be the last. He's shedding away tears into his pillow, it has already gone damp. Syzoth is trying to calm his breathing, but it seems the harder he tries the harder it is to do.
"I-I lost them, Tomas..." Tomas is back to rubbing over his stomach when Syzoth lets go of his arm to rub his hands against his face, his voice becoming muffled.
"I know..." Tomas sympathizes, feeling Syzoth's body shake against him.
"I barely got any time with them- h-he hid them away for so long. I- I didn't know-" For a second, Syzoth imagines the pain his wife and child must have had to bear, the fear of being helpless against Shang Tsung's hand, and how he had done nothing to stop it. And it is too much for him to digest. He couldn't even begin to describe the amount of guilt he had, of not being there.
And it all comes out in a few words.
"...I'm a terrible father." Tomas almost doesn't hear him from how quiet his voice has gone, drowned out by his harsh breathes. But when he does, he immediately moves to comfort him by pulling him closer.
"No. No- no you aren't. You're an amazing father."
"I should have been there, Tomas. I should have been there-" Tomas lightly shushes him when he hears his voice rise higher.
"You were trying to protect them." Syzoth's lips are quivering again.
"But I couldn't. T-They died without me."
"You didn't know."
"I let them die alone."
"Syzo-"
"I left my son..." Tomas doesn't want to hear this from his mouth. He pushes himself up enough to look down at Syzoth better, Syzoth looks up when he feels the warmth against his back leave.
When he meets his gaze, Tomas can see that the usual yellow that glazed over his eyes was now pink, fading into red. He must have been crying to himself all morning, his eyelids puffed out, his face red and warm. Syzoth knows Tomas is about to deny his words, and he's crying again before he even begins to say anything.
Tomas rests his palm against Syzoth's cheek, his hand half hidden by the hood Syzoth kept on to hide himself in. He tries brushing away the tears with his thumb, but they are one too many. Tomas shakes his head as Syzoth stares up at him, taking stuffy breathes through his nose.
"No, Syzoth. You didn't leave your son. He took him away from you." There was nothing you could have done. He can't bring himself to say it, but the message must have gotten across to Syzoth anyways. Syzoth nods as he squeezes his eyes shut, and Tomas is properly pulling him into his arms now. Syzoth finds the strength to turn his body over, finding new refuge when he buries himself into Tomas' chest.
His hood falls back through the whole process, Tomas takes the chance to run his fingers through Syzoth's short and thick hair. It's prickly under his fingers, Tomas calms his own heartbeat as he focuses on the sensation of hair against his fingers.
Syzoth thinks that the worst of the waters has begun to pass, and he tries to catch his breath as Tomas holds him. Such a feeling only lasts for a single minute, because he can't stop thinking, and thinking, and his chest hurts all over again. And nothing is helping, he's gripping onto Tomas' uniform with desperate hands.
"I-I can't hold him anymore." His son. Tomas pressed him deeper against his chest.
"I know."
"I-I couldn't- even say goodbye." To his wife.
"I know." Tomas knows all too well. He knows there's nothing he could say to make it any easier, it pains him. He has resigned to rubbing over the dip in his lower back, up his spine. Anything to soothe his tight muscles as he completely soaks Tomas' uniform with his tears.
Tomas didn't care to keep track for how long this lasted. He's pressed a countless number of kisses into Syzoth's hair. He responded to every negative word he spoke with kindness, love, and everything Syzoth was failing to give himself. It helped in only small fragments of time, but it was enough for now. Tomas was just relieved that Syzoth wasn't trying to hide what he was feeling anymore.
They eventually found themselves sitting up together in the bed. Tomas had left briefly to find some tissues, feeling just a pinch of guilt when Syzoth's eyes followed his figure leaving the bed. He had hurried back with an entire tissue box, taking his spot beside Syzoth.
He examined closely the way Syzoth's eyelids were drooping down, deep bags under his eyes making them look sunken in. His face was washed from its usual tan, more red than anything, as if he were sun burnt. Tomas chuckled softly, pinching Syzoth's nose with a tissue in hand to wipe away the snot that had built up.
"You're... an ugly crier." Syzoth immediately made a face, one not at all impressed by his words. Tomas stopped laughing, but a smile stay on his face as he used another tissue to dry his cheeks.
"It's ok, I'm not that pretty when I cry either." Syzoth stared at him with a permanent frown, one that hadn't went away since he walked into this room.
"You cry?" Syzoth is making a poor attempt at a joke, but Tomas takes it in stride. He'd take anything over Syzoth breaking down.
"Everyone cries, Syzoth." As he's crumpling up the used tissues and reaching for new ones, Syzoth swallows his own saliva. His throat feels dry and fuzzy. He stares down at the bedsheets when he feels Tomas carefully wipe at his eyelids.
"Does it anger you at all?" He suddenly asks, and Tomas has stop what he is doing to hear him better.
"What?" Syzoth is nervously messing with his hands in his lap, locking his own fingers together, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles.
"Does it hurt you?"
"Does what hurt me?
"That I miss my wife?" There is a small silence between them, one that doesn't calm his raging nerves. "That I miss my son..." He's not sure if he's supposed to feel ashamed, as Tomas is staring at him with a purely blank expression. He wonders if he even heard him.
He did, loud and clear. But the question was so beyond him that he had been rendered speechless. Where to begin... it was sad that Syzoth had expected him to be mad at all. He was so shocked that he simply managed to forget he had been asked anything at all, dabbing the tissue at the corner of his eye. Syzoth's eye fluttered shut as he did so.
"Tomas." He paused, letting his hand fall as he set the tissue aside. Tomas looked down at Syzoth's hands, and slowly began to untangle his anxious fingers. His body was cold despite having been hiding under his large bed sheets.
"Syzoth, you lost your family. There's not a day that goes by that I don't wish mine were still here." Syzoth let's that answer sink in, but he can't help but feel like he's doing something wrong.
"But-"
"No, I'm not mad that you miss your late wife. I'm not mad that you're a father." Tomas is holding the palms of his hands over his own, running his thumbs over his fingers to calm them. Tomas tries to give him the uplifting smile he needs.
"I love you because you are one." Syzoth's face is scrunching up, he doesn't want to cry anymore. "I know you love your family. I know you miss them. If I could bring them back for you I would, no matter what it meant for me." He means it. And Syzoth was following him in the beginning, but he shakes his head at Tomas' answer.
"Stop." He demands in a small voice, letting go of his hands to take Tomas by his arms. He leans closer, in favor of resting their noses together.
"I love you." He reminds Tomas, afraid he had forgotten somewhere along the lines. "You can't say such a thing." Tomas smiles, his hands cupping around Syzoth's face. Tears have crusted over his cheeks.
"I know. I know that, so stop trying to believe I'm angry. This is far from anything that would bother me." Able to take a deep breath now, Syzoth takes a few.
Tomas hold his chin with his fingers, pressing a light kiss to his lips before he pulls away. Then he's setting the tissue box aside, it had become useless rather quickly.
"I do love you, but you look horrendous right now." Tomas is joking, his voice holding a very sarcastic tone meant to be humorous. "I almost can not look at you."
Syzoth coughs out a laugh, the corner of his lips going up ever so slightly. He knows he looks like a mess, he truly hadn't been caring for himself for days.
"You're not funny, Tomas."
"I beg to differ." Syzoth is now leaning into his touch. He always yearned for some form of warmth, and Tomas was always happy to give it to him.
"Were Hanzo here, he would be very displeased with your humor."
"Hanzo is the one who has been teaching me." Tomas chuckles, feeling Syzoth bury his nose against his neck. His arms are hugging around Tomas' waist.
"The poor kid will have to grow up dealing with your 'Dad jokes' then. Johnny told me about those, it seems he has also rubbed off on you." Tomas smiles as his pitches the back of Syzoth's neck.
"Well, you aren't wrong about that. We do run into him often." Syzoth doesn't say anymore, he simply enjoys the way Tomas holds his limp form against him. That's something he loves about Tomas, how strong he is. When Tomas doesn't get a reply for a while, he pats at Syzoth's back, refusing to let him fall asleep.
"Hey. Bath." A loud groan sounds out of Syzoth's throat.
"I can excuse skipping the princess' orders, but I draw the line at poor hygiene." Tomas grins when Syzoth holds onto him tighter.
"You're forgetting I'm not even human." It's a bad attempt at fighting words.
"I haven't forgotten, how could I when you smell all the time?" That was the line that got Syzoth to push himself off of Tomas' chest with mug on his face. Tomas immediately reached forward to pull him close again, laughing as he took Syzoth's chin and pressed a deep kiss to his cheek.
"I'm joking, don't look at me like that." Syzoth is failing at keeping his smile hidden, the teeth of his grin are revealed the more Tomas abuses his face with firm lips. Syzoth is hissing a laugh out when Tomas forces him to get up from the bed by his arms.
"You're annoying. Next time I'm asking the princess to keep someone on guard at my door." Tomas tilts his head to the side, one of his hands falling to the bottom of Syzoth's back as he leads him into the bathroom.
"You wouldn't." Syzoth is mesmerized by the look Tomas gives him. He didn't know a human man could be so handsome so effortlessly.
"I wouldn't." He agrees, more interested in grabbing Tomas' face to give him a long and hard kiss rather than continue this playful banter. Syzoth's kisses were always eager, always long. As if he were trying to see how long he could go without breathing. When he lets go of Tomas, his face is back to that neutral awkwardness it holds, making him look as if he didn't just force his lips upon his.
It is charming in its own way to Tomas.
When he gets the water for a bath going, Syzoth is already stripping himself of his clothes. He never cared for delicacy. Despite being his, Syzoth has a strong detachment from his human body. One he is slowly trying to work on. His gaze shifts to Tomas when he notices him turn away.
"It's alright if you look."
"My thoughts aren't always appropriate, Syzoth. Now is not the time." Syzoth knows the meaning behind those words, you wouldn't be able to discern the blush from the redness already in his face. He silently steps into the bath water, the heat on his skin making him sigh through his nose. Tomas let's him lean his back against the wall and enjoy the warmth for a few minutes. Syzoth is staring at the wall at the other end of the tub with a blank face. He feels Tomas massage the back of his neck again.
"Are you ok?" As ok as one could be in a situation like this. Syzoth takes a deep breathe before answering him, tilting his towards Tomas.
"I'm ok." He confirms. "Because you're here." He has to add, to make sure Tomas knew how grateful he was. He would surely be showering him in better thanks once this wave of sadness lifts more another day.
"Ok." Tomas was smiling a second ago, but he holds the back of Syzoth's head as looks over him. "Don't scare me like that again. You can always talk to me." This form of comfort is so foreign to Syzoth, it's why he always runs away from it. He has to remind himself that no one in particular has it out for him. He's safe. At least he is with Tomas.
"Ok." He swallows down the shame he has for not doing so in the first place, he feels the need to remind Tomas of his previous words.
"I love you."
Tomas runs his thumb over his cheekbone, and Syzoth is already pushing himself into his touch. There was nothing more warm than the middles of Tomas' palms, he has to keep a deep rumble in his chest from coming out.
"I know." Syzoth's eyes are looking glassy again, and Tomas thinks he might let out some more tears. So he begins getting to work on helping him relax.
He's pouring water over Syzoth's messy hair, laughing at the odd way it sticks up when he runs his fingers through it. He's scrubbing at Syzoth's chest, getting a bit pink in the face when he realizes he needs to go lower. Then he leaves the rest of the scrubbing job to Syzoth.
He's pressing kisses into his shoulder when he notices his gaze drift farther off, to a place that isn't in the present. And when Syzoth comes back, Tomas is there waiting with a soft look in his eyes. He doesn't judge him for needing to be taken care of. He doesn't laugh at his pain, nor does he take it personally when Syzoth is too distracted to answer him. He simply goes at his pace, and Syzoth feels as though he's floating.
When he's done with his bath, he tries to step out of the tub, before Tomas is stopping him by the waist. A long towel is wrapped around his body, and he can't help but laugh at the color in Tomas' face.
"Syzoth- please. This is more distracting than you think it is."
"You are a pervert, Tomas."
"I am not." He insists, ignoring the small smirk on Syzoth's lips. He's trying to be playful, but Tomas could tell how tired he was. Syzoth's face falls.
"You better not be leaving." Tomas suddenly remembers his duty at the palace had long since been finished. He had elsewhere to be, and Kuai Liang was surely waiting for him. But Syzoth has a hold on his wrist, and he's looking at Tomas as if he expects him to leave.
"I don't know if... having a man leave this room in the early morning is a good look for the empress' emissary." Syzoth's lips frown, he looks down at the floor.
"Then don't leave in the morning either."
"Syzoth..."
"I'll be honest with you Tomas, I do not care what anyone thinks. They wouldn't be wrong in the first place." Syzoth is used to people looking at him all the wrong ways. If he has to put up with it to get Tomas not to leave him right now, it was hardly a price to pay.
"Unless it is a problem for you." He redirects his answer, and Tomas raises his brows. He shakes his head, pulling Syzoth closer and placing his hands on his hips.
"Of course not..." Syzoth chews the inside of his cheek, leaning back into Tomas' chest. The air is making him feel cold after his bath.
"I guess it won't be much of a problem. Besides- Kuai Liang and Hanzo already know."
"What?" Syzoth is pale in the face when hears this. He's pushing himself off his chest and gripping onto Tomas' shoulders.
"You told Hanzo?"
"No, I didn't."
"What is that supposed to mean? What did he say?" Syzoth was sure that the only people who knew of their relationship were the empress and her sister, and possibly Kuai Liang. But he knew Tomas had a close relationship with the first initiate of the Shirai Ryu, and there was a small hint of anxiety that told him that Hanzo wouldn't like this.
"He said if you broke my heart, he would come after you." Tomas laughs to himself.
"A threat?" Syzoth is slightly amused, still wondering how Hanzo found out in the first place.
"He means no harm, he's a good kid." Tomas assures. He caresses the skin of his hip before leaning in to whisper to Syzoth.
"But maybe next time, don't leave any marks on my neck." Syzoth's eyes widened with life for the first time that day. Mostly from shock, and embarrassment at his own actions. Tomas is laughing at the way he covers his mouth, remembering how careless he could be.
"I am... very sorry."
"I thought you said you didn't care?"
"I don't, but I've gotten carried away. It is not meant for others to see." Syzoth was a private lover.
"Trust me, he didn't care nearly as much as you think he did." Syzoth smiles a bit, now shivering slightly when the air gets too uncomfortable. Tomas starts to lead them out of the bathroom.
Syzoth does not look for a clean pair of clothes. He crawls back under the covers with nothing but the towel hanging on his waist. Tomas wants to say something, Syzoth's wet body already soaking the bed. But Syzoth looks at him before he pulls up the blanket.
"I don't appreciate you just standing there and staring. Please, join me." Tomas could never say no. Despite knowing that Syzoth would soak his clothes, and it probably be very cold. And he would wake feeling damp. He still joins him under those bedsheets.
Syzoth very quickly finds his hiding place, his face buried away into Tomas' neck as he curls into him. Tomas feels something rough hugging his leg, and it only takes him a moment to register the fact that Syzoth had his tail out, wrapped tightly around him.
"Don't leave." It is both a command and hopeful begging on Syzoth's part. His fingers are clawing into Tomas' chest, he can already feel the way Syzoth's body was creating wet spots on his clothes. But he doesn't care, he wraps an arm over Syzoth's body, pressing him closer.
When he runs his hand over his back, he feels how soft his muscles are compared to before. His body is limp. Syzoth is tired. Tomas places a kiss to the side of his face, wherever he can reach in this position, before he responds to him.
"I'm not going anywhere."