Chapter Text
Spencer looked up at the ceiling of the hotel as she walked through the hallway leading to her room. The architecture was incredible and she couldn't help but admire the artistic blend between the antique, classic styles with modern twists and touches here and there.
Italy was gorgeous.
She may have seen little outside of the airport and hotel so far, but from what she had seen, she could already tell this was going to be the best two and a half weeks of her life. It certainly didn't hurt that the company was good. Spencer double checked the room number on her key card and estimated the room was about four more doors down on her left. She came to a stop in front of it and swiped the key card, holding the door open for the muscular man carrying the bags. She slipped in behind him and immediately made her way over to the window, smiling happily at the view before her. She had always wanted to visit Venice. The canalled city had always fascinated her, and the rich history there only served to make it more of a draw.
Strong arms wrapped around her waist and she leaned back into the firm chest behind her, letting out a happy sigh.
"Everything you dreamed it would be?" Toby asked quietly, pressing a soft kiss to her neck.
"No," she said turning in his arms and reaching up to wind her own around his neck, "it's better. Because you're here."
He smiled down at her before closing the distance between them, his lips moving slowly against hers. If someone had told her a year ago that they'd be here today, she wasn't sure if she'd have believed them. Toby had seemed like some unattainable dream, and she'd been so afraid to hope, so afraid to reach for him in case she'd read the signals all wrong. She could have handled friendship, one where she was in love alone, but she didn't think she could have handled losing him completely because she'd misread everything.
But they were here. They had found their way back to each other a year ago now, and Spencer had never been so happy. She reluctantly broke the kiss, but couldn't resist leaning up to peck his lips once more.
"I love you," she whispered, smile evident in her voice.
"I love you," he repeated, brushing his nose playfully across hers.
She laughed quietly before slowly pulling from his embrace and moving over to the bags Toby had carried up— the bags he had, in true Toby fashion, refused to let her help with.
"Do you think I packed too much?" she asked him as she rifled through her carry-on for the itinerary she'd packed there.
"I've learned not to answer those types of questions," Toby said on a laugh as he moved over to his own bag.
Spencer playfully stuck her tongue out at him. She was actually pretty proud of herself. While she usually was quite sensible, when it came to packing, she was a notorious over-packer; trying to be prepared for every possible thing. She wasn't nearly as bad as Hanna, but it didn't excuse the excessive amount she ended up deciding she "needed".
"Hey! This time I managed to keep it down to one suitcase, one carry-on, and my purse. That's pretty impressive, if I do say so myself," she defended.
She wasn't really upset though. It was a long standing joke between them and she knew he couldn't let the opportunity pass by.
"One large suitcase," Toby teased, kissing the back of her neck as he passed her.
Spencer rolled her eyes, chuckling as she did so. She loved this easy, domestic, affection they'd fallen into. It had been almost immediate to their getting back together. It was like their bodies remembered each other; as if no time had passed at all.
"We're in Italy for almost three weeks, Tobes," she quipped, "you wouldn't want me to run out of clothes would you?"
Toby gave her a little challenging, devilish smirk, one eyebrow raised as his eyes raked her up and down.
"Do you really want me to answer that?" he asked her, heat filling his gaze.
Spencer bit her lip and blushed, but she didn't look away. It was crazy how after so long, he was still able to make her blush. She wadded up a shirt from her bag and lobbed it at his face, laughing as it hit it's intended target.
"Wow, Spence," Toby said, holding out the garment to examine it, "racy."
She looked down at the article in his hand and identified it as one of her lacy, satin night tops. She tried to fight the blush and shrugged one shoulder, as if she wasn't just a little embarrassed.
"Nothing you haven't seen before."
He grinned at her and pulled her back into his arms.
"I know," he said, dropping the top on the bed, "but that doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to seeing you in it again."
He captured her lips with his and she sighed in pure contentment.
It couldn't possibly get better than this.
•••
They had spent almost four whole days in Venice, having arrived in the late afternoon that first day. Thanks to Spencer's need to have everything planned, they had fit an inordinate amount into the first two days they had been there. On their third day in Venice, they had decided to leave for their next stop earlier than they'd originally planned; so late the next afternoon, they'd rented a car and driven down to Tuscany. That evening they'd had a late dinner at a lovely little restaurant on a quiet street.
That was night Spencer noticed something was a little off.
If she'd been anyone else, she wouldn't have noticed anything at all, it was so minute. But she was Spencer and he was Toby; so she noticed. Her brain worked to place her finger on what seemed different all the next day, but she couldn't quite figure it out. On their fifth full day in Italy she'd tried to convince herself it was just jetlag or something and had worked to push it from her mind for the better part of the day.
That night, they had toured a historic vineyard and villa and had the most amazing dinner there. But the best part of the night hadn't been the tour. It hadn't been the history. And it hadn't been the wine.
It had been the moment Toby had proposed.
And all at once, Toby's behavior made sense.
He'd had this night planned since they had decided to take this trip, and the closer it got, the more antsy he became.
But all his planning, and all his waiting had been worth it.
And now they were engaged.
They were engaged.
Spencer smiled down at her left hand, gazing blissfully down at the ring there. She leaned back against Toby who was standing behind her; one hand holding hers, the other splayed against her stomach, keeping her body close to his.
"I wish we could get married here," Spencer said, as she looked out across the golden fields and watched the last vestiges of sun play across the grass. She breathed deeply and enjoyed the scent of spice and earth that filled her senses.
"Then maybe we should just elope," Toby joked lowly in her ear, his fingers playing lightly with hers. He adjusted his hold on her, drawing her closer to him, increasing the light intimacy of the moment. It was just the two of them on that balcony. The summer night air was warm and full.
"Maybe we should."
Toby stilled.
"What?" he asked, hesitantly, as if almost afraid of her answer; or afraid to break the quiet serenity that surrounded them.
He'd said it so quietly Spencer was sure she wouldn't have heard it had she not been standing pressed up against him. She turned in his arms and placed her hands lightly on his chest. His eyes searched hers, desperate for her not to be joking.
"Maybe we should," she quietly repeated to him.
He let out a quiet breath, as if he'd been holding it this whole time.
"Are you serious?" he asked her.
"Yes," she said immediately. There was one thing in this world that she would forever be certain of, and that was Toby Cavanaugh.
"You're sure?" he asked again, licking his lips as he waited for her response.
He'd been half joking when he'd suggested it. But he knew that if she meant it, he was all in.
"Yes," she said again, reaching up to place a gentle kiss on his lips.
"Did I hear that right? The Spencer Hastings is willing to defy convention?" Toby asked, his voice taking on a playful tone.
"Oh please. This wouldn't be the first time," Spencer replied flippantly.
"Hmm...I don't know..." he said teasingly.
"Careful, officer. I still have time to back out," Spencer teased right back, her index finger tapping lightly on her lips as she playfully, slowly backed away from him.
"Oh no you don't!" Toby said, reaching her in one step, wrapping his arms around her waist; drawing her close again, "I've been waiting for this day for almost nine years. You're not getting away from me now. Not ever."
"Never again?" Spencer asked, still teasing.
"Never again." Toby said firmly.
All the joking and laughter left Spencer's eyes in an instant at the sincerity in Toby's. She gazed up at him with all the love in her heart and wrapped her arms tighter around him. She'd always known he was her forever, but during their four years apart, she had begun to question if she was his. She wasn't prone to putting much weight into "fate" and "soulmates", but their separation had caused her to question her stance on that.
Her soul had longed for his.
And she had wondered if maybe he was her soulmate, but she wasn't his. With the pattern her life had taken, it seemed just the type of cruel joke the universe would play on her. On the nights she felt most alone and afraid, she'd found that she had the tendency to become quite fanciful and melodramatic, which was so very unlike her. And yet, as someone who always needed answers, she'd gone looking for them in the emotional realm once she'd ruled out the logical. Because for once, she'd found something she couldn't explain. And she desperately needed to. The ache in her heart had demanded answers and so she gave up using sense to find them. And when she'd learned that Toby was seeing someone...it had felt like all the proof she'd needed to believe those baseless imaginings.
But everything was different now. He was hers again and she was his.
•••
Spencer looked down at the white satin slip dress laying on her bed. She fingered it gently and wondered absently if Hanna had known. She had gone shopping with Hanna a few days before she and Toby had left for Italy and Hanna had convinced her to buy this dress. Spencer believed her exact words had been, "The cowl neck and mid-calf length really flatters your delicate shape. And that slit gives it a hint of sexy— Toby won't be able to resist you." Spencer had rolled her eyes and debated the purchase but Hanna had argued that she needed to bring it with her, claiming "you never know when you need a formal dress". Initially, she had just written the whole thing off as Hanna being Hanna, but now...well, it would explain her persistence.
A knock on the door shook her out of her thoughts and she scooped up the dress before hurrying over to the bathroom, calling a "just a minute" over her shoulder. Once she was safely in the bathroom she heard Toby enter back into the hotel room bedroom. A soft smile touched her lips. For all the ways their relationship hadn't been normal, or typical, Toby had insisted on this one superstition, refusing to see her before she was ready for their wedding.
"I'm not taking any chances," he'd told her the night before, brushing a soft kiss across her lips.
So here she was, ensconced in the bathroom, curling her hair, as she heard the soft rustling through the door, of Toby moving around the room getting himself ready. Every time the revelation of what they were about to do hit her she got all giddy inside. It was like a dream, she decided. One she didn't want to wake up from. She had wanted this day since she was sixteen years old, and the fact that it was finally happening was so surreal to her. She felt like dancing. Or singing. Or something. She was bursting with happiness and anticipation and her fingertips literally felt as though they were buzzing.
Spencer slipped the dress over her head and a shiver flowed through her as it fluttered down around her body. She straightened the straps and smoothed her hands down the material before finally looking back up into the mirror.
She bit her lip at what she saw.
She was brimming with so much happiness, she was glowing.
This was happening.
Spencer placed her fingers on the door handle, and pressed her other hand against the door. She took a deep breath to slow her pounding heart. She wasn't nervous exactly. She wanted this— with every fiber of her being. And yet the way her body was humming had her feeling all aflutter.
"Toby?" she called quietly through the door.
"Spence?"
His voice was tender. Smooth like honey.
Sturdy.
"Are you ready?"
"Whenever you are."
Her hand turned the knob.
At the sight of him, all the nervous and excited flutterings fell away and it was like she could breathe again. This was Toby. This was right. This was home. And nothing else mattered but him.
There was nothing to be afraid of, because this was Toby. And when she looked at him... she felt certain of everything.
He was sitting on the bed, wearing a navy suit jacket and pants and a pressed white dress shirt, looking as handsome as she'd ever seen him. Maybe she was wearing rose colored glasses, but if so, she was never going to take them off.
Toby looked up and their eyes met. Spencer felt pulled towards him, as if by a tether. He stood up as she took her first step toward him and gazed down at her with so much love she thought she might cry. He lifted his hand to cup her cheek and she melted into him. Her hand came up to hold his before she brought it to her lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his palm. Then another.
"You look so beautiful," he whispered, his forehead touching hers.
"You look really handsome," she whispered back.
She knew they were being really cringey, but she didn't care. Nothing had ever felt more right to her than him, and she wasn't going to let her thoughts go without saying. She knew all too well how the regret of things left unsaid could eat you up inside.
Toby smiled down at her and kissed her gently, languidly, his hand still cupping her cheek. They fit together like pieces of a puzzle, and she couldn't help but lean in closer, and hold him tighter.
"After today, I won't ever have to miss you again," he breathed against her lips.
Spencer smiled against his. That sounded like perfection to her. The thought of forever getting to wake up by his side was something she could get used to.
This was forever.
This was always.
"Let's go get married."
•••
Spencer Cavanaugh woke slowly. She was warm and cozy and she never wanted to move. She snuggled deeper under the covers and became aware of the strong arms around her waist as they tightened.
Toby.
A smile came easily to her face. She could never get tired of this. She slowly dragged her eyelids open and moving only her eyes, peeked up at Toby. He was sleeping peacefully, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. She wanted to kiss that mouth. But for now, she chose to just watch him. He looked so young in sleep; so much like the boy she had first fallen in love with nine years ago. Her eyes slowly roved down his physique, stopping on their hands, entwined and laying on his chest. Her heart leapt within her and she felt butterflies flutter around in her stomach.
Her heart skipped a beat at the reminder of what the ring meant. She was Toby's. And he was hers. Forever.
The events of the evening before came rolling back as she stared blissfully at their hands. They had gotten married. She admired the engagement ring and wedding band resting on her finger and her stomach did another flip.
They were married.
Toby was her husband.
Her husband.
Nothing had ever sounded sweeter.
She closed her eyes against the morning sunlight slanting in and snuggled deeper yet into Toby's embrace. She replayed the evening in her mind. The courthouse had been bathed in the beautifully soft, golden rays of the 6'o'clock sun as they had made their way up the stone steps; hand in hand. Spencer had half-heartedly marveled at the beautiful building, too distracted by her fiancée and their imminent nuptials to really study it in the detail she usually would have. But she was quite impressed with the lengths Toby had gone to in order to even have this option open to them.
When she had asked him about it, he had explained that he had prepared all the paperwork for this "just in case". He'd said he hadn't wanted to get there and regret not being able to go through with it if Spencer had wanted to— inadvertently telling Spencer he'd been hoping. That realization had her falling just a bit more in love with this man. She remembered how they had sat on the bench outside the room their wedding would take place in together, holding hands and speaking in hushed tones as they waited to be called in.
But what she remembered most, were the words they had said as they had committed their lives to one another. She remembered the sincerity and earnestness in Toby's eyes as he had promised her forever.
"Spencer Hastings, the moment I met you, I knew I was in for the most beautiful adventure of my life. I was captivated by your intelligence, your selflessness, and your determination. We have chosen each other, and fought for each other, and today, and the rest of my days, I will choose this life of adventure with you.
You have made me a better person just by being in my life. You are my best friend, my comforter, my home, and now you are my wife. My whole heart belongs to you. I will laugh with you until we cry and I will cry with you until we laugh. I will never be too old to hold your hand and I will listen to your stories even when they have no point. I promise you will always have a place on my chest and a home in my arms. We've had our share of mistakes, but all your flaws and scars are mine too, and I promise to still be falling more in love with you everyday; even 80 years from now. I will love you with every beat of my heart, and I will guard your heart with mine.
I've rewritten these vows a hundred times, but no matter how small I wrote them or how many different ways I tried to word it, there was always so much more to say. I found the best way I can say it, is: I love you more. I'm not trying to make it a competition; all I'm trying to say is, I love you more than anything we'll face. I love you more than the bad days ahead. And I love you more than the nights that we ended with slamming doors. There will be times where your heart will forget, so I'll say it over and over again, so you know for sure— Spencer, I love you more. And I'll love you more as the years pass by, and if you ever doubt it, just look in my eyes."
The words had been spoken with such quiet fervor and complete candor, Spencer couldn't even fight the tears it had brought to her eyes. And she hadn't wanted to. They deserved this moment. They had waited too long and fought too hard for it to taint it with pretense of any kind. There was no one else she could so comfortably bare her soul to. And Toby accepted it with tenderness and grace; his attention completely fixated on her as she vowed to be his family.
"Tobias Cavanaugh— Toby— I have loved you against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be. I have loved you through lies, through secrets, through torture, through fear. And nothing that we have been through or could possibly go through could ever make me love you any less. I promise to choose you every morning, and be thankful for you every night. I promise to never let us go to bed angry, and to commit to talking things through and sorting out our problems without storming out or running away. I promise to listen to you, to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness, and to have the patience that love demands. To speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they're not, and to live within the warmth of your heart— and always call it home.
I promise to always put you before myself, and to love you unconditionally. I promise to be your ally in life and your best friend in love. I treasure everything you are, and I promise I will treasure everything you will become. I promise that whenever you are at your worst, you will still receive my best. You have shown me what it is to have a life with someone who chooses me daily, loves me endlessly, and makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. I will never be able to love you as well as you deserve, but I promise to be devoted to trying. I don't have the words to tell you just how much you mean to me and how much I love you. You are, without a doubt, the best person I know, and I'll have to continue to pinch myself until it no longer amazes me that you chose me to be your partner in crime and life forever. You are such a humble, caring, honest man and I am so thankful for the way you constantly challenge me without even trying. I am so excited for our future, and I know with you as the head of our home, our family won't ever have to wonder what a love really looks like; because you live it out everyday. We've come so far, and fought so hard for this life together, and I will continue to fight for this crazy, beautiful life with you. I love you so much Toby, and I can't wait for everything ahead of us. This is just the beginning."
Spencer felt Toby shift beneath her and her eyes fluttered open again. She looked up to find Toby already looking down at her.
"Good morning," he said quietly, his voice having the raspy quality of morning.
"Good morning," she replied as she leaned up to brush her lips against his. Toby made a quiet noise in the back of his throat and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss.
"Did you know," she started, as she pulled away from his lips, her own beginning a light trail down his neck, "that you smile in your sleep?"
Toby gave a breathless chuckle as he shook his head. One of his hands found its way to the small of her back, and he pressed her against him so there was not one inch of space remaining between them. The other hand lightly played with the ends of her hair.
"Is that a deal breaker?" he teased.
"I think it's a little late for that," she said, laughter evident in her voice, "you're stuck with me."
"Good," he said before he captured her lips with his.
"You're my wife," he said with quiet pleasure when he finally pulled away.
Pure unadulterated happiness shot through her at that sentence.
"You're my husband," she returned.
He grinned down at her, looking for all the world as a man who desired nothing else.
"I love you," he whispered.
"I love you."