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Everything hurt. His body was on fire and freezing at the same time. Everything felt muffled and strange, yet too loud and vibrant at the same time. He could hear the sound of something burning around him, metal groaning as though under a great amount of stress. He wanted to see what was going on, to get a handle on the situation, but his eyes felt like they were glued shut, he couldn't seem to open them.
"Kid! Kid can you hear me?"
Ezra let out a moan as a voice called out to him, one he didn't recognize. What's going on? Where am I? He thought, confused.
"He's not responding sir, what should we do?" the voice asked.
"We need to get him back to base. This mission is compromised, it was clearly a trap." another voice said.
Who are these people? Where's Kanan? Why does everything hurt? Ezra thought, letting out a gasp as he felt his body begin to shift, someone's hands grabbing him and beginning to move him. It hurts! Don't touch me! He thought, his eyes flying open at last as he let out a scream of pain. "G..get...away. D-don't..." he gasped out, weakly attempting to reach out in the Force to throw back whoever had grabbed hold of him. It was a fruitless effort, the Force slipping from his grasp like an eel.
"Easy son, we're trying to help you. You've been injured, we need to get you back to the ship so we can get you help." the voice from before said, the one that had mentioned something about a mission.
"K...Kanan. W-where's Kanan?" Ezra demanded, trying to pull himself up and away from the two men he could barely see through blurry eyes.
"Who?" the other voice, the first one Ezra had heard as he'd become more aware of his surroundings, asked. Ezra couldn't really distinguish between the two men, other than one had a helmet and the other didn't. The one in the helmet being the one who'd just spoken.
"He's the leader of the Ghost crew. That Jedi on Captain Syndulla's ship. Bridger is one of theirs." the one without the helmet said.
"Oh yeah. He didn't come on this mission though, just the kid and their junk mech right?" Helmet Guy said. Ezra immediately decided he did not like helmet guy after hearing this, not appreciating the disrespectful tone the guy used while talking about Chopper. They might not get along all the time, but that droid is still family, and nobody got to talk bad about his family.
"That's right. Kid must have hit his head. I see blood." Sir, which Ezra had dubbed him as that's all he'd heard Helmet Guy call him, said.
Ezra could feel the blood running down his face, and some of it was getting in his eye, which was definitely not helping the blurriness. He let out another groan as a wave of pain washed over him, tears filling his eyes now. The men once again turned their focus on him.
"Sir, he doesn't look so good. We need to get moving." Helmet Guy said, his voice seeming to have an air of concern, though Ezra was pretty sure he hadn't met the guy before whatever mission he'd been sent on.
"K-kanan. Please. I...I want Kanan." Ezra begged. Things were slowly starting to come back to him, how he'd been assigned to this mission alone, Chopper being assigned to the mission after the rest of his crew, including the droid himself, had protested the decision because they were a family and Ezra was their youngest and no way in hell was he going alone. How he barely knew the crew he'd been sent with. How he'd sensed the trap moments before it went off, barely managing to hold off the explosion long enough for the rest of the crew to get out. Fear filled him as he recalled the feeling of heat and pain as he was thrown backwards from the blast, his head connecting with something hard and causing him to black out. He whimpered and shivered, more tears spilling out of his eyes, clouding his eyesight further.
"We'll take you to him, I promise. You need to let us help you first, we can't get you to Kanan if we don't get you to the ship." Sir told Ezra, his voice gentle yet firm.
"Oh...kay. Okay." Ezra whispered.
He could just barely make out Sir's nod of approval, unable to make out what he says to Helmet Guy as his ears began ringing again and he shook his head to ward off the blurriness. When he got sense of the world again, Helmet guy was on his other side and Sir was staring at him expectantly. Oh, he must have asked me a question. He thought. "Uh, what?" he asked.
"We're gonna lift you up and help you to the ship. Think you can walk if you lean against one of us?" Sir responded.
Ezra thought for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, I'm good. Just...just get me outta here." he grunted out, ready to be back at base and safe with his crew and family. I hope Chop made it back to the ship at least. He thought, recalling telling Chopper to get the crew out just before the blast had overwhelmed him and he'd been thrown back.
Helmet Guy and Sir took up positions on either side of him, Sir giving him one more look asking for permission to do this, and at his nod of approval, they began to lift him up. Ezra bit back a scream at the pain as he shifted positions, grunting out as he was helped to his feet. His vision briefly blacked out and when his sight returned to him, Helmet Guy and Sir were both looking at him with concern.
"You alright kid?" Helmet Guy asked.
"I'm...fine." Ezra whispered, though there was now sweat mixing with blood as he took deep breaths in an attempt to gain some kind of control over the pain. "L-let's get out of here, please."
Sir and Helmet Guy seemed unconvinced about him being fine, but they understood his desire to get out of there, and slowly began making their way towards the ship. Not that they can do anything to help me here. Ezra thought as metal creaked and groaned around him, beams falling as the fire raged through the abandoned base they'd been sent to retrieve information from. It was obvious now that the promise of information had been nothing but a lie, meant to lure them into a trap. Ezra was glad he'd been there instead of Zeb or Hera or Sabine, or even Kanan (though he knew the Force probably would have warned his master, he didn't like the thought of him being hurt). It had only been the warning from the Force that saved him and the others, and even still there hadn't been enough time to get out before the blast had gone off, hence why they were currently struggling to escape the burning building.
Ezra groaned as the walk went on, feeling himself slowly growing tired the longer it took. I wish Kanan was here. Or Hera, or Sabine, or even Zeb. He thought, though he still maintained his earlier conviction that it was better he was there than any of them. He really just wished for the comfort of one of his friends. He didn't know this group as they were fairly new to the Rebellion, and though he'd accepted the mission willingly, he hated being stuck with a group of people who were practically strangers to him. Sure, he'd met them once or twice before the mission, but that was it. Rex and Ahsoka were both off on their own missions, and Commander Sato had been unwilling to send more than were needed for this mission which is why only Ezra had been assigned. He let out another groan as a wave of pain hit him, silently cursing whatever Imperial scum had set the trap.
"Hang in there Bridger, we're almost to the ship." Sir said.
Ezra hoped he was right, because he wasn't sure how much longer he could stand having to walk.
Thankfully, Sir was telling the truth, as Ezra could hear shouts coming from the rest of the crew as they approached. He could just barely make out the ship now. He heard Chopper let out a warble as his group came into view. Chop, it's so good to hear you buddy. He thought, feeling his strength return just a little and spurring him onwards.The other two must have noticed the change, as they picked up their pace, but just as they were nearing the ship, Ezra felt a warning in the Force, and he stopped, just barely managing to pull Sir and Helmet Guy back in time as two large beams crashed down in front of them.
"Oh kark, now what do we do?" Helmet Guy groaned.
"Hey! Are you three okay?" a voice called over the comms.
"We're alive. Our path is blocked, I don't see any way through from here. Can you see any openings from your side?" Sir responded.
"Negative Sir." the voice responded.
"What now? We can't stay here, and I don't think the kid will make it long enough to find another way around." Helmet Guy said.
Ezra let out a frustrated sigh, shoving himself out of the grip of the two men and limping forward, throwing his hands out and calling on the Force. I'm tired of this! I want to go home. I want to be back on the Ghost. I want to be meditating with Kanan, or helping Hera fix the ship, or watching Sabine paint, or roughhousing with Zeb. So just move. He thought as he grabbed the beams with the Force, shoving them out of the way. He heard the two men with him cry out in surprise as he lifted the beams and moved them to the side, creating a path for them to get to the ship.
"What the -" Helmet Guy cried, stunned.
"I almost forgot Bridger is the Jedi's student. Even still, I never imagined a child like him could move something so large all by himself. Especially while injured." Sir said, seeming impressed.
Ezra would have been beaming with pride at that statement, but unfortunately for him, using so much of the Force had drained the little strength he had left, and he found himself falling to the ground as his body gave into the pain.
"Kid!" Helmet Guy cried, just barely managing to catch him before he hit the floor.
"We need to get him out of here, now." Sir called, his voice giving a command to get moving.
Ezra cried out as he was carried onto the ship, finding little comfort in Chopper's worried warbles as the droid yelled at the crew to be careful with him. Kanan. It hurts. I want Kanan. He thought as he was laid across several of the seats in the transport they'd taken. The mission was only supposed to last a few hours, it was supposed to be something simple. The ship wasn't equipped with a medbay or any sleeping quarters. It had been meant for a short mission that had turned into a disaster. Ezra could hear voices talking frantically above him, one hailing Chopper Base to let them know what had happened, the others all discussing what could be done to help Ezra.
"He's covered in shrapnel. Should we remove it?" a voice asked.
"No, we do that and the boy could bleed out." Sir responded.
"We can't just sit here and do nothing!" Helmet Guy cried.
Ezra felt someone place a hand on him and he let out a scream, feeling too overwhelmed by everything going on. "NO! Don't touch me!" he shouted, crying out as he jerked back from the hand, his body protesting the movement. "Kanan....I...I want Kanan. Don't touch me. Don't touch me. Kanan. Please. I need Kanan." he begged, too lost in the pain to care about how much like a child he sounded.
"Easy son, we're on our way back to base. You'll be with him soon, I promise." Sir said, and Ezra sobbed.
"It hurts. Everything hurts." Ezra whined. He heard Chopper let out a warble, feeling a cold metallic arm gently reach out to pat his uninjured leg.
"I know it hurts, we're not far." Sir told him. Ezra heard Sir call out asking for an ETA but found he couldn't focus on the voices anymore, all that seemed to surround him was pain, pain, pain.
"Kanan...please...it hurts." Ezra whimpered. It hurts. It hurts so much. I can't take this anymore. I want Kanan. He thought.
This was all his mind could focus on as the ship continued the hyperspace journey back to base, the pain too much for him to focus on anything else. His thoughts were consumed by it, and all he could do is sob and repeat his cries for Kanan. He didn't even feel it when they finally dropped out of hyperspace. Wasn't aware as he was rushed out of the ship and towards the medical station they'd set up. He didn't even recognize it as the medical droid attempted to help him, lashing out as he felt something foreign trying to touch his body.
Get back! Go away! Don't touch me! KANAN! His mind screamed.
He was unaware that his voice was screaming too, unaware of the purple Lasat who had entered the room and promptly left, unaware of anything except the pain.
"Ezra! Ezra, I'm here!" a voice cries.
Ezra's eyes fly open suddenly as a calming presence prods him in the Force.
"Kanan."
"Kanan, Love, you've got to relax. Ezra will be fine." Hera reminded him for the fifth time that day.
"I'm fine Hera. Couldn't be more relaxed." Kanan said, dismissively waving a hand in Hera's direction as he paced the Ghost's small kitchen area. "I'm not even thinking about Ezra. Or the fact that he could be captured. Or injured. Or dead. Or bleeding out somewhere that nobody knows where to find him and he can't get a message to anyone to tell them he's still alive so they leave him there thinking he's dead and he slowly dies scared and alone and wondering why his master failed to save him and-" His rant was cut short as Hera walked up and grabbed his hand, giving it a tight squeeze before wrapping her arms tightly around him.
"Breathe, Love. Breathe." Hera whispered, kissing him on the cheek.
Kanan took a deep breath, letting out a sigh as he slowly released his feelings into the Force. "I'm sorry Hera. I just...the last time he went out on a mission without us, the ship got captured. It was a trap." he said.
"He was fine, remember? As I recall it, he ended up stunning both you and Rex when you two caught him by surprise." Hera reminded him.
"I know that, but I can't help worrying. Something about this just feels wrong. That whole group is new to the Rebellion. Half of them were barely older than Sabine. What if something goes wrong?" Kanan said, shaking his head.
"I know, but that's why we sent Chopper, remember?" Hera replied.
"Oh sure, like Chop is so reliable when it comes to staying out of trouble." Kanan said, rolling his eyes.
"Hey! Chopper may like to mess around, but you know he'd never let anything happen to Ezra. As much as he likes to pull pranks, Chop cares about that boy just as much as we do." Hera said defensively, removing her arms from around him to place them angrily on her hips.
Kanan raised his hands placatingly, nodding in agreement with her. "I'm sorry, you're right. I meant no offence to your murder-bot." he said, smirking as he saw Hera try and fail to hide a grin at the nickname. He'd heard Ezra use it several times, and he thought it described Chopper perfectly. Apparently Hera does too. At least she knows what he's capable of. He thought. His face grew serious again as he thought of his padawan, still worried about how he was out there without him to back him up. "Still, it's Ezra. The kid can't seem to keep himself out of trouble." he told Hera.
"I know, but we have to trust him. Ezra will be fine. Besides, if you don't quit worrying, I think Sabine and Zeb might hold you down and sedate you, and then you won't be there when Ezra does come back." Hera said, her tone showing she fully believed they'd do it.
Kanan sighed, knowing she was probably right. He'd attempted to help out Zeb with some things around the base after Ezra was sent off, and the Lasat had quickly dumped him off on Sabine. Sabine lasted a little bit longer, but he knew he'd worn her thin when she called Hera to "come get her Jedi before she put a blaster bolt in him". Even Hera had grown tired, as he could sense frustration underneath her projected calm. Of course, it didn't help him that there was fear underlying it as well. They're all just as worried as I am. I don't see how they can stay so calm. He thought in frustration.
Some Jedi you are Kanan, letting yourself get all worked up over little old me. Thought Jedi were supposed to be calm and composed at all times? Ezra's voice teased in his head.
When it comes to you kid, my control goes out the window. Kanan thought back. He could picture Ezra smirking and shaking his head at him, almost as if the boy were really there. Could practically feel the sass that would be coming his way. A small smile played on his face once more, and it grew as he noticed Hera's look of confusion and concern.
"Kanan?" Hera asked.
"I'm alright. Just thinking about what Ezra would say if he could see us all right now." Kanan said with a grin, and he watched as Hera paused and then let a soft "Huh." before smiling herself. "Come on, why don't we go relax for a bit? Not often we get this kind of downtime." he suggested. Hera grinned at him, wrapping her arms around him once more and giving him another kiss on the cheek.
"I think that's a wonderful idea." She said.
Kanan was regretting giving in to Hera's idea to relax. They'd been watching the Holonet for an hour when Zeb came rushing in.
"Hey Zeb, what's the rush? Is Ezra back?" Kanan asked, grinning. The grin immediately dropped when he saw Zeb's face, both him and Hera sitting up straight and at full attention.
"Zeb?" Hera asked.
"Ezra's back. He's hurt. They brought him to the medbay but the kid's freaking out. He's calling for you Kanan. He won't let the medical droid near him, and Chopper isn't helping much cause he keeps threatening to zap anyone who comes close." Zeb explained, his ears pinning further back the more he explained.
Kanan hadn't needed to hear anything other than his kid was hurt and calling for him. He jumped up and raced out of the Ghost, Hera and Zeb following closely behind. He froze when he reached the medbay, seeing Ezra crying out as the medical droid tried again to approach only for the boy to lash out and then scream in pain. Ezra's eyes were wrenched shut, and Kanan could see the boy's clothes were soaked in blood. He could see Chopper warbling angrily at the medical droid as he tried one more time to approach, the droid spinning his arms and reaching out to zap the droid. "What happened?" Kanan asked as Zeb and Hera came up behind him.
"The leader said it was a trap. The kid stopped them and yelled at them to get out just before a bomb went off. Told us the kid held it off as long as he could but it ended up overwhelmin' him. Everyone else made it out without a scratch, 'side from inhaling the smoke from the fire it caused." Zeb explained, cringing as Ezra cried out again. "I don't get it. How come he's so worked up?" he asked.
Kanan sighed, shaking his head. "Ezra doesn't have great experiences with medical droids." he said, remembering how the kid had told him about the time he'd taken a job only to find out it wasn't what he'd thought it was. The group left him strapped to a table while a medical droid performed experiments on him. The only reason Ezra had escaped was because he'd accidentally called on the Force and it had helped him. The boy in question let out another scream as the medical droid tried to approach again, and Kanan couldn't take it any longer. Taking a calming breath, he began to approach. Stay calm Kanan. It'll do Ezra no good if you're worked up. You gotta keep it together, for him. He told himself as he walked up. Chopper warbled angrily as he neared, and Kanan felt his respect for the droid raise just a little bit higher. "Easy Chop, it's just me." he told the protective mech. Chopper let out a questioning warble before backing off and putting his arms away, rolling back to give the Jedi room by his padawan's side.
"Kanan! Kanan, please!" Ezra cried, letting out a scream of pain as he accidentally threw his injured arm out in his panic.
"Ezra! Ezra, I'm here!" Kanan called, sending a gentle nudge to their bond in the Force, desperate to stop the boy before he hurt himself worse.
Ezra's eyes shot open, and Kanan saw the fear and desperation in them. I'm here buddy. I'm right here. He communicated silently, eyes locked with Ezra's.
"Kanan." Ezra whimpered.
"I'm here kid. You're safe." Kanan promised. Ezra let out a groan, his eyes snapping shut as tears began pouring out of them, his body arching off the table slightly as the boy tensed up.
"It hurts Kanan. It hurts so much." he sobbed.
"Shh, I know buddy. I know it hurts." Kanan whispers taking Ezra's hand and squeezing it tightly, brushing his other hand through the boy's hair which was slick with sweat from the pain. "Ezra, it's gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay, but you need to let us help you. Let the medical droid do its work." he told the kid.
Ezra is sobbing softly now, his hand gripping desperately to Kanan's, and Kanan can feel that there's still fear pouring off the boy. Ezra shivers and lets out a moan that ends in a choked sob, his body trembling and only increasing his pain. I gotta get him calmed down. I can sense him beginning to fade away. His fear is too much for him to handle. Kanan thought. "Hey. Hey hey hey hey, focus on me kid, focus on me. It's okay. You got a little banged up, but we've got you alright?" Kanan tells him.
"It hurts." Ezra sobs.
"Ezra, look at me." Kanan says, gripping Ezra's hand tighter as the boy lets out a whimper. "Ezra! Look. At. Me." he commands, and Ezra finally complies, his eyes opening and focusing on Kanan's. "I'm right here. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, I promise kid. Just let the medical droid do what it needs to, and it won't hurt anymore. I promise."
Ezra's eyes close again, and for a moment Kanan fears the boy has given up, until he sees him take a shaky breath before opening his eyes again. "O...okay. Okay." Ezra whispers, and Kanan breathes a sigh of relief. He waves the medical droid over, shushing Ezra as the boy whimpers at its approach.
"Ez, I know you haven't had the best experiences with medical droids, but I promise you, he won't hurt you. I wouldn't let him near you if he was gonna. You know that." Kanan told him.
"I'm scared." Ezra whispered.
"I know buddy, I know. I'm right here." Kanan whispered back. He began to step back as the droid began to work, stopping when he felt panic from Ezra's side of the bond.
"Don't go, please." Ezra begged.
"Shh, I'm not going anywhere. I just need to give the droid room to work. I promise Ez, I'm not leavin' you." he promised.
Finally, Ezra calmed down, grimacing as the droid gave him an injection before finally relaxing, the pain meds quickly working to soothe the exhausted boy. As Ezra drifted off, Sabine rushed into the room, stopping by where Hera and Zeb were standing.
"I just heard what happened, is Ezra okay!?" the mandalorian cried.
"He'll be fine. Kanan's with him." Hera told the girl, the three spectres watching as Spectre 1 watched over Spectre 6, Spectre 3 sitting loyally by his side to help.
Kanan stayed true to his word, remaining by Ezra's side even after the droid finished his work and told them Ezra would be fine after a few weeks of rest. The whole crew was there when the boy woke up, each letting the boy know they'd been worried in their own special way. Hera hugged him and kissed his forehead, Zeb clapped an affectionate hand on his shoulder and jokingly said he'd better be dying the next time he comes in screaming like that. Hera and Sabine both gave him disapproving looks at that comment, and even Kanan frowned at the lasat, but Ezra seemed to understand, giving the purple giant a smile. "Love ya too big guy." He teased.
Sabine's response was fairly subtle, but Kanan noticed the girl sticking as close to Ezra as she could, seeming to need to touch him in some way, whether it was a hand on his shoulder, or sitting on the edge of the bed with her thigh just barely pressed against his, or even gently reaching out to brush his hair out of his face, commenting that it was getting too long and he should consider letting her cut it down a bit.
Later that night, after the others had returned to the Ghost to let Ezra sleep, Kanan stayed, watching over Ezra. His thoughts were racing too much for him to sleep anyways. He could have died today. If those newbies had left him, he would've died, alone. He never should have been put in that kind of danger. He thought as he watched the boy sleep, gently reaching out and rubbing the boy's arm soothingly as the kid began showing signs of a nightmare. Is this Rebellion really worth the price we might pay? He wondered, sighing as Ezra stirred again, only to pause as he noticed the boy smiling softly.
"Kanan...Hera...Sabine...Chopper...Zeb....mmh....love you guys." Ezra mumbled, his body relaxing as he let out a soft sigh.
No. It's not. Not if it costs us this kid. Kanan thought, making a decision. He wasn't going to let Ezra die for this. If it came down to it, he'd give his life to make sure this kid survived. As he gently brushed a hand through Ezra's hair, he smiled to himself. I really hope it doesn't come to that. I'd like to see the kind of man Ezra will grow up to become.