Chapter Text
The first time Hana Song lays eyes on Kiriko Kamori is during work, a late day in October, bundled up in thick winter clothing, nose red from the cold.
Hana immediately notices how pretty she is, cute in a charming way where her clever little smile brightens her eyes and her relaxed posture makes it appear as if Kiriko doesn’t have a care in the world. She’s familiar with Kiriko’s type, heartbreaker written all over her body, reaching up her arms, straight to her chest. The way she flashes her teeth is enough for Hana to recognize she has a record.
“Welcome to Kọfị Aromo, how can I help you?” Hana greets as Kiriko approaches the register, eyes not meeting hers, more focused on the menu behind her. Hana lets a moment pass, allowing Kiriko to decide her order.
"A cold brew, please," She orders, eyes flickering over Hana before choosing to examine her own nails, as if it was the most interesting thing the cafe had to offer.
Hana pays her no mind, not really caring as the customer was one of the many college students who came in acting so nonchalant. "Name?"
"Kiriko," She replies, a smile creeping upon her face, cool eyes flashing as she adds, "Yours?"
Hana returns it, one more of amusement rather than being charmed. She lifts a finger to point at the name tag on her chest. "Hana."
Kiriko does something that Hana doesn't expect, and it's blushing. She dips her head, scratching at the nape of her neck in embarrassment and offering a polite, "Thank you" before walking off to take a seat until her order is done with.
Hana was only working this job because it was convenient and on campus. It's not a rare sight to see people pop open laptops and textbooks as they choose the cafe as a studying spot. That being said, Hana can't help but be a little surprised as she watches Kiriko do the same thing, fluidly unzipping her backpack to set out her schoolwork.
Hana turns the other way, letting the thought pass and continuing her workday. It goes by mundane, nothing out of the normal as she takes orders and prepares them. As the day grows darker, Hana can't help but glance over at Kiriko who has remained in the same spot for the past two hours.
Her nose was wrinkled in concentration, hand moving in determined scribbles as she focused on the work. Hana, admittedly, finds it adorable and takes it upon herself to approach the girl.
"We'll be closing in twenty minutes," Hana shares, a small practiced smile upon her lips as she stands by Kiriko's table. She notices the cold brew still sitting by Kiriko, a quarter close to finished. "Would you like me to take that for you?"
Kiriko tilts her head up, looking dumbfounded for the smallest moments before her expression twists and she shakes her head. "Oh, no, I got it. I'm sorry for hogging up this space the entire day. I'm just-..." She pauses, as if considering what to say, before delivering, "Just been busy with this essay."
"What is it?" The question presents itself before Hana can take it in for consideration. Almost slipping out instinctively despite a small part of her immediately regretting starting a conversation.
"Um, just something for Philosophy," Kiriko begins to explain, leaning back in her chair and folding her arms as she focuses on her laptop's screen for a moment. Her gaze flits up, back to Hana. "Not something I'm entirely into but it's a requirement."
"A lot of classes are here," Hana points out, hoping that there was an air of sympathy surrounding the comment.
"Unfortunately," Kiriko responds, the distaste evident in her tone, curving around the word like a decoration. She taps her fingers along her forearms, Hana feeling a little mesmerized by the action before she drags her gaze back to the patron.
The conversation implies its end and Hana brings it to herself to turn the other way and resume work- supplying over her shoulder as a reminder, "We close in fifteen."
Kiriko waves a hand to indicate she heard as she resumes her work. Hana can't help but smile, even if it was a small one.
…
Kiriko comes by almost everyday, at least from what Hana can tell when she's scheduled for a shift. She finds herself enjoying the company, even though it's from a distance. The way Kiriko occupies the space she has chosen, the way her presence lingers in a way that Hana can't quite place.
She's still wary of her, not really falling for her flirtatious comments. It's always brief, when they do talk, not a long conversation but she can tell Kiriko has taken a liking to her, and Hana is a little appreciative towards it.
"What do you usually have?"
It's two weeks into the routine Kiriko has established. Every single time Hana has taken her order, without fail, she has ordered a cold brew.
Hana perks an eyebrow up, lips pressed together, already feeling her amusement slipping through. "What would you like, Kiri?"
The other young woman perks at the nickname. Tilting her head, she flashes her teeth with a well-put smirk. "C'mon, I don't bite. What's your usual?"
"A latte," Hana answers, "A hot one. None of that cold stuff."
" You don't like iced coffee?" Kiriko asks, as if that was the last thing she expected from Hana's mouth.
"Maybe on a hot summer day, but definitely not in this type of weather."
"I feel like you're implying something."
Hana smirks this time around. "And what might that be?"
Kiriko squints her eyes, as if challenging her. Her nose scrunches up, lines around her eyes before her features relax and she decides, "I'd like a vanilla latte. Hot, please."
Hana rolls her eyes, a small chuckle escaping her mouth as she rings up the order and takes the payment. "You gonna finish it this time around?"
"Just for you," Kiriko winks.
Hana wishes her heart hadn’t skipped a beat in that moment.
…
A day comes by where Kiriko doesn't show up at her usual time. Hana stares at the entrance, not knowing that she had even been expecting, till Kiriko's normal time arrival ticks by. There's a sprout of disappointment that grows within her chest, tiny but standing, and Hana makes a deliberate effort of snuffing it out by focusing on her work.
It isn't till closing hours come near, a half hour until they lock the doors, that Kiriko practically comes bursting into the cafe, looking wind-swept and admittedly staggering.
Hana greets her as Kiriko stumbles to the register, huffing as if she had just run a marathon- and Hana can't help but wonder if that was actually the case.
"Someone's in a hurry," Hana comments, eyes flitting toward the motion of Kiriko swiping off sweat with her sleeve. "Got somebody to meet?"
"Yeah, I do, actually," Kiriko pants, her signature smirk already forming as she composed herself. "And looks like I just made it in time."
Hana flushes, her treacherous heart skipping a beat, or two. She tucks her hair behind her ear, dipping her head to focus on ringing up Kiriko's order. "Would you like your usual?"
"Yeah, that'd be nice," Kiriko replies, voice warm to Hana's ears. It's a shame she has to drink something so cold, especially in early December.
"If you're that addicted to our drinks, you could always buy some of our coffee grounds," Hana says, handing Kiriko her cold brew and feeling the slight tension as their fingertips accidentally brush.
Kiriko takes a sip before replying, offering a satisfied hum as she tastes. "It's not the same when it isn't made by my favorite barista."
Hana doesn't reply for a long moment, watching Kiriko stand in awkwardness before she dips her head, scratching at the nape of her neck rather insistently, and offers, "To be fair, this is the only cafe I go to- around here anyways.”
It wasn't an intentional release of her amusement, a chuckle slipping out of Hana’s mouth before she can even determine it as appropriate. She moves a hand to cover her mouth and hopes Kiriko doesn’t see it as something negative towards her. In an attempt to reassure her, and without much thought, Hana supplies, “You’re cute.”
There’s a beat of silence that lasts a little too long and it makes Hana panic for a moment before the anxious flutter of her heart eases as soon as Kiriko flashes a smile.
“And you’re adorable,” She bounces back, a cool smile that counters her flushed cheeks.
And Hana takes the bite, despite her apprehension, despite wanting to protect her heart from whatever Kiriko had to offer. Because Kiriko is cute, and she hasn’t shown any other intentions than wanting a coffee and charming Hana, which has Hana abandoning her previous assumptions. Maybe Hana had read Kiriko wrong, maybe she wasn’t a heartbreaker, just someone who was trying .
Hana really appreciates the attempt. Which feels like such a traitorous thought that conflicts with her determination to protect her own heart. She can’t have it broken again, she doesn’t know if she could make it out alive this time around.
“I have to get back to work,” Hana decides, shifting her weight on her feet and preparing to face her back to Kiriko. If she walks away now, maybe it won’t be too late, maybe she didn’t let herself get hooked in, a slip up that Hana could easily save herself from.
“Would you like to hangout anytime soon?”
Hana tries to keep herself from visibly wincing, because now her fear has manifested, and she knows she won’t be able to deny a proposition like that without a proper excuse or a simple lie. She bites her bottom lip, not offering an immediate reply.
Kiriko notices, observant eyes flicking to the motion, before her fingers wrap a little more securely around her drink. She adds, “I’d like to get to know you. You seem pretty sweet, and it would be nice seeing you in an outfit that isn’t your work clothes. Not saying that you don’t look good in your work clothes- you look super cute in them, by the way, I’d just like to know you in non-barista mode, y’know?”
Oh, her rambling is adorable, Hana notes, making her bite the inside of her cheek because now she knows for sure it’s too late. She can’t turn her back on Kiriko. That wouldn’t be fair to either of them.
“When, Kiri?”
The words pop out with purpose, slipping from her lips insistently, a little curtly, but still presented as an invitation. Hana was going to allow herself to give in. For now.
The smile that stretches across Kiriko’s features is nothing short of stunning and Hana has to keep herself from letting out a little squeak. “Whatever works for you.”
“Saturday,” Hana chooses, “I have work in the morning but I’ll be available for the rest of the evening and night.”
“Great,” Kiriko beams. Reaching into her pocket, she pulls out her phone and proposes, “Can I have your number?”
Hana takes her phone, feeling her fingertips pulse against the device, as she punches her contact info. It isn’t until she hands it back does she realize her hands are slightly shaking. She retreats her hands back to her sides and repeats, “I have to get back to work.”
Kiriko nods, and she offers a little salute as she begins to walk away, “I’ll see you soon, Hana.”
“You have a good one, Kiriko.”
…
“Why are you pouting?”
Hana jumps at the question, swiveling her chair to Brigitte as her headphones start playing the endgame music to the match she just finished. Freeing an ear, she presses her lips together and says, “I’m not pouting.”
“Did you lose another game?” Brigitte asks, getting up from her spot on Hana’s bedroom floor and setting her book aside. As she approaches Hana, she peers at the computer screen over her shoulder and frowns, “You won the match. What’s wrong?”
Hana parallels the expression, unsure how to answer. She had talked to Brigitte before about her issues, her friend had been there for the fallout of Hana’s previous relationship- but right now, she was unsure how to bring up the situation. It had been over a year now since everything happened, and sometimes Hana had a hard time believing that. The pain and grief always felt fresh at times, and it kept her from properly processing that time had passed.
Taking off her headphones properly, Hana turns back around to properly close out of the game she was playing, then faces Brigitte again. “Work has been interesting, I suppose.”
“Oh?”
“There’s this regular that I’ve kinda formed a friendship with,” Hana explains, folding her hands in her lap. “If you can even call it that. But anyways, she invited me out.”
Brigitte visibly perks at that, tilting her head like an alerted puppy. “Like a date?”
“I-,” Hana hesitates, she hadn’t really thought deeply about it, but she knew that was what it could be considered. Even if it wasn’t outright said, the flirtatious comments from Kiriko was enough to determine that was her intention. The word, date , almost feels like a thorn in her side as she lets it settle between them. Fear thrums up against her ribs, causing her chest to tighten uncomfortably and she realizes for the umpteenth time, that she probably wasn’t ready for something like this when her wounds still felt fresh.
She imagines the blood from her hurt, from the cuts she felt her hands still pressing against to stop the bleeding. She imagines her palms coated in that scary color, handprints left on everything she touched. She imagines that red on Kiriko’s skin, on her wrists, on her neck, on her face. Hana’s stomach pulls at the image.
“It’s a hangout,” Hana replies to Brigitte, watching her friend’s face morph into something thoughtful then sympathetic. “She wants to get to know me.”
“What’s her name?”
“Kiriko.”
“Kiriko,” Brigitte echoes, tapping on her chin for a moment then brightening up as a realization hits. “I know her! She hangs with the Shimada brothers. Fareeha and I play basketball every now and then with them, and she will show up to watch sometimes.”
“What do you think about her?” Hana can’t help but ask, hoping to get a perspective from someone else and have her anxieties eased.
Brigitte notices this and she hums thoughtfully. “She seems like a nice girl. I haven’t hung out with her directly to get to know her personally but she seems close to the Shimadas. Very supportive of them, always cheering for them when she watches us play.”
Hana sighs, feeling disappointment constrict her throat before she brushes the feeling off. Glancing at her phone, which sat by her mousepad, she wonders if she should send a text to Kiriko. Get a feel for her before they properly hang out on Saturday, which was still a few days away.
An hour passes before Brigitte says something that brings her back to her insecurities. As Hana comes back to her bedroom with two sodas and hands one to Brigitte, her friend catches her eyes and asks quietly, “How are you feeling, by the way?”
Hana knows it isn’t a general question, she’s referencing all those months ago, when she fell apart, when her heart was shattered in a million pieces and the love she had for her had been some fabricated lie. Hana feels those wounds pulse for a moment, and then she thinks of Kiriko’s easy going smile.
“I’ll be okay.”
And that’s enough of an answer for Brigitte not to push.
When Brigitte finally heads back home, Hana is left in an empty room and her thoughts. She glances at the time, noting its only 22:00 and she decides to squeeze in more gaming before getting ready for class tomorrow.
As the hours pass by, Hana tries her best not to think about the past. She focuses on her gaming, determined to rank up before she decides to call it a night. Sometimes when there's gaps of silence between matches, she feels this sickening pull at her stomach as she tries to drown out her worries.
Minimizing the tab for her game as she waits for a match to begin, she opens her desktop's music app and clicks a playlist to help her get away from the quiet. As she opens the game back up, her phone pings and she glances at it curiously.
Kiriko
r u up?
Hana blows air in surprise and grabs her phone as her game puts her into a match. Quickly responding, she types out:
yea
woah!
u should go to bed
don't u have class or work something?
Hana can't help but chuckle at that, knowing that Kiriko was self-aware of her hypocrisy.
can't sleep, gotta game
u game?!?
what games do u play?
it's an indie game
idk if you ever heard of it
what is it?
Watchover
WHAT
I LOVE THAT GAME
AND IT'S DEFINITELY NOT AN INDIE GAME XD
WELL
i figured u would know it
so i said it as a joke
i didn't expect you to play it though !
Hana lets out a squeak as she receives an alert that the game is about to disconnect her due to inactivity. As she reassesses herself and quickly gets out of the spawn room, she's greeted with several chat notifications as her teammates ping her rapidly in frustration.
It takes her about twenty minutes to finish the match and even though she wins and ranks up, she quickly checks her phone instead of really caring about her progress in the game.
Kiriko
if u want, we can queue up at some point?
not tonite tho
U SHOULD BE IN BED
SO SHOULD U
I AM IN BED
oh
well
okay, fine
LET'S GOOOOO
only because i have class tomorrow morning
what time?
um…
7
HANA
GO TO BED
I WILL IF YOU STOP TEXTING ME
FINE
have a good night
sleep well
thank u for the chat
<3
Hana freezes, suddenly feeling her heart pounding in her throat. She swallows, feeling the way her face flushes before she sends back
u 2
<3
Her heart doesn't burst, thankfully, despite the nervousness that had accompanied the action of typing out her reply. As promised, Kiriko doesn’t text her at all as Hana gets ready for bed. When she finally lays down, she checks her phone one more time where she sees no new notifications then finally puts it away for the night.
Staring up at the ceiling, Hana lets out a long exhale and feels the way her heartbeat starts to ease as she settles down. There's something comforting squirming in her chest and she wants to desperate grab a hold of it. But she also knows if she wants that feeling, she'll have to trust again. Let someone get close. And she's terrified of getting hurt.
Turning over onto her side, Hana squeezes her eyes shut and wishes for sleep to come quickly so she doesn't have to think. Her request isn't accepted as she spends the rest of the night tossing and turning and thinking about the things that haunt her.
When morning comes, and her alarm blares, Hana wakes groggily from the little sleep she did get. As she starts her day and puts on her morning playlist, she sees she has a text notification.
Kiriko
good morning!
hope you got some well deserved rest
good luck with class today!
The smile forms immediately, almost on instinct, when Hana sees the message. And she realizes in an anxious excitement that this might lead to something more.
Let this one be right, Hana pleads to forces above as she puts a hand over her chest, feeling the way her heart starts to flutter with hope.
She wants to get to know Kiriko without getting her heart broken. She's wishing it ten times over that this time around that things will be okay.
They have to be okay.