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The sun shines over the crystal clear lake, sunbeams shimmering in the gentle, lapping waves. A calm silence pervades, broken only by the occasional sound of birds calling from the tops of the pine trees and the rustle of grass in the wind.
Soon, those sounds are disrupted by something entirely different: a chorus of wheezing gasps as you enter the clearing, the lone human among a line of demons, groaning under the weight of knapsacks bulging with gear. They are all too preoccupied with catching their breath and easing themselves out of the packs to notice the idyllic setting at first.
Beel is the first to register his surroundings, but not by sight. Inhaling deeply, smelling the crisp pine and a tangy minerality from the lake, he breaks into a wide smile.
“Mmmm…good enough to eat…,” he mumbles, and decides to do just that.
His brothers are still too concerned about their own woes to pay attention, but you look up to see him
settling on a tree stump, bowl and spoon from his mess kit in hand. “Beel…what are you doing?”
“Mmm…mmm…eating…mm…the air…,” he says, between heaping spoonfuls.
You inhale, smelling those same delightful scents of the forest that he was clearly enjoying. Grinning, you take a seat next to him.
“Mind sharing?” Your eyes crinkle good-naturedly as you watch the tall demon continue to enjoy his invisible snack.
“Mmm…sure…plenty to go around…” Without hesitation, he scoops a spoonful of air and holds it out to you, a gentle relaxed smile on his face that is uniquely his own.
“Ahhh…” You close your mouth over the spoon and giggle.
“You know, I really do think I can taste-”
“What in the Devildom are you two doing? The campsite is not going to go up by itself.”
Lucifer stands in the middle of the clearing, his hands on his hips. The pose is to be expected, but the sight of him in a down vest and jeans is still as jarring as when you left the House of Lamentation that morning. Of course, you were not expecting the Eldest to be dressed in his vest and tie and coat when going on a camping trip, but you had simply not been able to imagine him in anything else, either. Beel looks down at his bowl with a dejected sigh, and you both stand up to join the others.
The prideful demon glances at his watch. He glares at you shuffling over to unwrap a bundle. Even though he demands swiftness in getting the campsite set up to his satisfaction, he is also unsettled. There is a yawning abyss of wasted time before him, the unwelcome prospect of doing nothing for hours, even days on end. How could this possibly be beneficial? =And yet Lord Diavolo had practically ordered him to commandeer this excursion, claiming that this activity from the Human World would help foster bonds between human and demon, teach them new skills, and all manner of other things. Lucifer had accepted just to get him to cease talking.
Everyone around you is busy stacking supplies, unfurling the tents, and glancing at Lucifer to see if he will threaten them to move faster.
“So…” Your clear voice is louder than you expected in the relative silence around you.
“What is everyone most looking forward to on their first camping trip?”
“A semblance of peace and quiet,” Lucifer says this without hesitation, even as his foot taps impatiently while watching his brothers’ work.
“Yeah, well…don’t take the hammock. I call dibs.” Belphie looks longingly at the inviting stretch of canvas slung in the shade as he drags a tent over to its designated spot.
“That lake is going to be so beautiful at sunset! Ooooh, I simply can’t wait to take some selfies on that dock! The perfect postings to my Devilgram account! You’ll come down with me for the photo shoot, right?” Asmo winks and blows you a kiss before moving quickly to the next pack under Lucifer’s withering stare.
“I just got done playing “Firelight: New Dawn” on “Ultimate Survivor” mode, and I want to see how it compares to normie camping!” Levi looks around the campsite, frowning in disappointment. “I don’t see a lot of resources, though. How am I supposed to craft my weapons and live off of the land, fending off wild beasts?”
“Tch. Every time I think ya can’t get more lame, Levi…” Mammon rolls his eyes and stretches, yawning.
“Ya don’t need to make nothin’. Big Bro made sure we brought half of the Devildom with us.”
Making a face and rubbing his back, he gestures at the stacks of gear now scattered about the clearing.
Lucifer crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at his younger brother’s insolence. “No one insisted that you join us, Mammon. Lord Diavolo technically made this an optional excursion. Why exactly did you decide to join us at the last minute?
“Uh…I, uh…” Mammon’s cheeks turned a rosy hue that you are now all too familiar with. He had vehemently opposed going on the trip, claiming he had all manner of business to attend to, but once it was confirmed that everyone would be joining the human, he had just as loudly insisted on coming.
You reach to cover your mouth to suppress a snicker when a rustle in the nearby bushes catches your eye. Turning to look, you think you see a streak of red dart further into the shrub.
“What was…” Before you have time to investigate, Beel’s stomach rumbles loudly, causing everyone to look at him.
“Satan and Lucifer were telling me about all kinds of tasty food that you eat while camping.”
“You did?” Satan and Lucifer exclaim as one, eyebrows raised in surprise at each other.
Lucifer frowns at the blonde. “How did you know about the types of cuisine served while camping?”
“You first. How did you know?” Satan meets his brother’s glare with his own.
“Did you think that I would let down Lord Diavolo by not being fully informed of all of the rituals involved with camping beforehand? Honestly…” Lucifer smirks. “I visited the library several weeks ago and checked out books to acquaint myself with the topic.”
“But…” Satan splutters. “That’s what I did!”
Lucifer’s smirk doesn’t falter. In fact, you see it spread further into a prideful sneer. “Hmm…when did you go? I left some books behind that seemed less informative…”
“Tch.” Satan wills his face into something resembling a composed mask. He had wanted to impress the human with his superior knowledge he had acquired about camping, being the only demon who knew anything about the activity before setting out. And somehow, Lucifer had managed to spoil things, as usual. Well, he had still read many books on the topic, cover to cover, before this excursion. He would prove himself.
They labored the rest of the afternoon, setting up tents, sleeping bags, and cooking gear.
Glaring at his older brother, Satan works diligently to get his tent set up first. The diagrams from the books
memorized, he drives the final stake in and stands up to admire his handiwork, calling you over.
“What do you think? A perfect spot.” He points out to the vista of the lake with the sun hanging low.
“Hmph.” You both turn around to see Lucifer, standing next to his own tent.
“Your tent looks properly pitched, dear brother, but I believe you neglected a few important items…”
Lucifer looks back to his own perfectly pitched tent, smiling proudly. “I may not have an unobstructed view of the lake, but…” he points up with a condescending smile. “My tent will be shaded for most of the day. I promise you that it will be most comfortable.”
“They both look splendid,” you say, as usual trying to keep the fragile peace. “I’m sure they’ll both be, uh, serviceable.”
The unpleasant glaring of both brothers over your head makes you nervous, but things remain civil until dinnertime. Lucifer breaks their standoff to assign Mammon and Asmo to cooking duty. While they begin taking out ingredients, the Avatar of Pride stands at the firepit, mouth set in a scowl, ready to overcome this latest challenge.
“Stand back while I light the fire.” All of his brothers dutifully withdraw, except one.
“No, I’ll be the one lighting the campfire.” The glaring contest between red and green eyes resumes, both of them unwavering, unblinking. After a few moments, as if by some prearranged signal, they
nod curtly and move to grab several pieces of wood from the pile.
“The winner shall have the honor of asking the human to join us in our tent to spend the first night here.” Lucifer says cooly, kneeling next to the wood he has gathered.
“Done, so long as they agree.” Satan looks up at you, his face determined. He wants the chance not only to best Lucifer, but to impress you in the bargain.
You know that you should not be encouraging this type of behavior, but curiosity and puckishness win out.
“Okay, let’s see what you can do.”
Within a few minutes, Satan and Lucifer are kneeling on opposite sides of the fire pit, working away at their chosen method. Satan grits his teeth as he twists the hand drill into the wood and kindling, each puff of smoke met with a strangled cry of triumph before fading along with the results of his efforts. Lucifer scrapes a stick in the trough of another, patiently waiting for the expected result. His smug grin at the sight of smoke melts into a scowl as it dies out.
Asmodeus and Mammon have finished the food preparations and the sun is setting, but still they persist. Their determined faces suddenly become lit by a spark of flame. Each look to the other and see you, a handful of kindling and a box of matches in hand. Adding the kindling to the growing flames, you smile up at the waiting brothers.
“Let’s get some dinner going. I’m starving.”
Lucifer and Satan eat in sulky silence, resentfully eyeing each other and you across the roaring bonfire as you laugh and joke with the others. As the fire dies down to embers, you rise and go to your own tent, drawing the flaps and curling up in your sleeping bag with a smile on your face. Better luck next time to the Camping Experts.
The days flow by in a blur of activity. Identifying edible plants with Levi, taking endless lakeside photos with Asmo, relaxing in the hammock with Belphie, teaching Beel how to make s’mores…by any estimation this trip has been a success.
Except for one thing.
While you enjoy doing things with the brothers, the campsite itself is electric with tension. Satan and Lucifer have turned the most menial camping chore into a battleground. If they are not endlessly debating the finer points of the camping experience, they are engaged in competition, ruby and turquoise eyes glaring at each other across their chosen activity, be it chopping wood or preparing food. Your attempts at mediation and even the brothers’ offers to take on the simple chores fall on deaf ears.
Occasionally, you and the brothers think that you detect movement between the trees, or see a glint of metal in the distance. Your investigations turn up nothing, and the only speculation is from Satan, who claims it could be an elusive mythical beast, a large, hairy humanoid said to roam these woods. You hasten to assure a trembling Mammon that such a creature is purely imaginary before preparing for another tense night around the campfire, wondering what the Eldest and fourth-born will conjure up tonight to spoil the mood.
Diavolo had watched the brothers set up camp from his hiding spot. He had been ecstatic when Lucifer had given in to his coaxing to take this excursion. A chance for the brothers and the human to bond and work together in order to survive the wilderness. And he had an extra little surprise in store...
He had prided himself on his discretion and stealth, a shadow among the trees. Disappearing within each suspected sighting, his amusement grew with each whispered discussion around the campfire as to the possible origins of the little glimpses that he allowed. As the days progress however, Diavolo's glee turns to confusion, then exasperation, as he watches Lucifer's and Satan’s actions. Their all-out competitiveness was not the experience he had envisioned. His little surprise was needed more than ever.
As the moon rose over the campsite, he decided to put his plan into action. Pulling the mask over his face and clutching the chainsaw that Barbatos had reluctantly lent him from the garden shed, he springs out into the clearing. Hah! Surely facing death by a maniac, they would all band together as one to fight off the intruder.
The roar of the chainsaw filling his ears, he looks around eagerly, expecting to see the terrified demons and the human grab any implements at hand, brandishing them to fend him off.
Instead, he hears the low, measured voice of the Eldest, not sounding frightened in the slightest.
“Honestly…what is this nonsense!? Barging in like that…who do you think you are?”
Red eyes flashing, he stands in front of the others.
“You will remove yourself at once. I will not have you endanger my brothers, or our guest.” He points a finger at the whirring implement in Diavolo’s hands. “That thing is unsafe. What would have happened if you-”
There is a commotion among the huddled brothers, and Satan pushes his way to the front to join Lucifer, looking with narrowed eyes at the Eldest.
“What in the Devildom are you doing, Lucifer? Can’t you see what this situation is?”
Diavolo lets out a breath. It looks as though things are getting back on track. Surely Satan recognizes the danger that they are in.
“Apparently books are the only thing you looked at before coming here,” Satan says, his green eyes flashing in triumph. “I also watched many human movies about camping. Based on my observations, there are many masked murderers that live near human campgrounds. I had thought about this eventuality. Now, let’s see…” He puts a hand to his chin, humming in thought.
“The amateurish thing to do would be to flee without thought. The murderers always seem to find the victims when they just hide in obvious places. The best thing would be for us to…”
Diavolo simply cannot believe his ears as Satan goes on to explain the best strategy for avoiding the murderer that is still standing in front of everyone, motionless. His mind is groping for what to do next when suddenly he hears a rustling behind him as you stand on tiptoe to quickly undo the clasps of his mask. It falls away to reveal the Crown Prince, eyes wide with shock.
“Diavolo!”
Gasps of surprise emerge from the brothers while you sashay forth, hands on your hips. It had not taken you long to realize that the masked stranger was doing an awful lot of standing around for someone supposedly bent on murder. Sneaking around behind the brothers to peek at the ginger hair poking through the mask had confirmed your suspicions.
“Lord Diavolo…to what do we owe this unexpected…pleasure?” After becoming conscious of the fact that he is staring at the Demon Lord open-mouthed, Lucifer finds his tongue.
Diavolo powers down the chainsaw and lowers it dejectedly. Nothing was going according to his plans, plans that he had been so sure would bring about so many good things. His mouth puckers into a slight pout before he explains his presence there, concluding with “I apologize for convincing you all to come here. Clearly, it has been a failure on my part.”
You raise your voice in protest. “Wait, Diavolo, I think I can speak for everyone here when I say we’ve had a wonderful time!”
A chorus of affirmations soon follow.
“I found out about so many tasty new foods. Have you tried a s’more before? I’m making some when we get back to the Devildom.”
“The hammock here has been so comfortable. I haven’t slept this well in centuries.”
“I can’t wait to share all of my beautiful photos on Devilgram when we get back!”
“Acquiring new knowledge is never wasted…especially when it’s something that even Lucifer doesn’t know.”
“It has admittedly been a welcome change to have a few days free of Student Council forms…”
Seeing even Lucifer capitulate, you grin up at the Prince. “See?”
“But what about cooperation and-”
You lean in and pitch your voice low so that only he can hear you. “I think this is about as close to that ideal as we can get, don’t you think? Look at them…talking to each other and all still here.”
Diavolo nods understanding. “I suppose you are right. And I suppose that I have you to thank for at least part of that. It is no small feat to keep the peace among them.”
You tug at his sleeve. “Why don’t you join us tonight? Take part in some of the fun of camping that doesn’t involve scaring the campers out of their wits.”
The demon hesitates for only a bare moment before chuckling and following you to the campfire. Soon, the forest echoes with the peals of laughter, talking, and even singing as you teach them some camping songs. Looking around at the smiling faces lit by the glow of the flames, you feel content.