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They were having a good day. The weather was perfect, with just enough cloud cover that it wasn't too bright outside. Poe and his dad were going for a meandering walk down the city streets, enjoying the nice fall air. His dad was talking to him about airplanes, Poe's favorite topic of conversation. He was loving the feeling of leaves crunching under his feet, hearing the satisfying crunch crunch crunch of each step he took down the sidewalk. It was all going fine.
The screech of the ambulance siren as it comes barreling around the corner makes him implode. Hands up to cover his ears, every muscle in his body tense and it's too much too much too much too much.
Poe turns and runs in the other direction.
He barely registers a voice saying, "Oh shit-- Poe, wait! Wait!" But he's powerless to stop himself. Every cell in his body is screaming get away get away GET AWAY!
He runs without any sense of where he's going, dodging around people, kicking up leaves in his wake, trying desperately to put distance between himself and the sound. Even as he runs it's starting to fade but he can still feel the echo in his ears, pulsing with each beat of his racing heart.
Someone tries to grab his sleeve and he shoves them away with a grunt, feeling tears starting to fall from his eyes as he sprints forward, the world a blur of color and movement.
Get away get away not safe too much too much not safe too much NOT SAFE!
He turns a corner and is met with a dead end, tall wooden fence blocking off the end of the alley. Nowhere to go, can’t get away, but it’s too loud and too much and he doesn’t know what to do. He lets out a shriek of frustration, slapping a hand against the fence and turning to go back the way he came.
“Hey! Hey hey hey hey stop, stop, it’s okay. It’s okay!”
Hands on his clothes, pulling him close, and he pushes back with an angry gasp. No touching no touching GET OFF!
“Okay, I won’t touch you. But no more running, okay? You’re safe. I promise, you’re safe.”
There’s nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. The sky is pressing down on him and there’s sound coming from everywhere and he sinks to the ground, breathing heavily. He curls in on himself, pressing his forehead against his knees, hands clamped over his ears.
“It’s okay, buddy, you’re safe,” the voice says again, muffled under his hands. “It’s Dad, I’m here. You’re safe. You’re safe. It’s gone.”
He rocks himself forward and back, forward and back, still feeling the panic surging through him like lightning. “Nuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh,” he pleads. “Nuhnuhnuh… nuh…”
“I know. I know that was scary. I know it hurt. Just breathe, buddy, you’re gonna be okay.”
“Nuhnuhnuhnuhnuhnuh!” he continues, desperate for this feeling to go away. It’s too much. He feels like he’s going to fall apart, burst into a million billion atoms and disappear. Wetness drips from his cheeks to splatter on the knees of his pants, little droplets of water and salt.
It’s not okay, it’s not. Everything is screaming. The whole world is screaming in his ears and he wants it to stop. He pushes his hands against the ground, pebbles digging into his palms, trying to get up, to run.
A hand on his shoulder and he flinches, tries to push it away, but it stays firm, squeezing tight. “I gotcha. Don’t run, kiddo.” Another hand on his other shoulder, same firm grip, not letting go. “I gotcha. You’re here with me, and we’re safe. We’re safe.”
“Aaaaaaaa-aaaaah…”
“We’re safe. It’s gone. We’re safe…”
The voice gets quieter but the hands stay steady on his shoulders. He sucks in a shaky breath, lifting his head up from his knees. His dad is there.
Dad. Dad dad dad dad dad dad.
Gray sweater, broad shoulders, strong arms, safe.
“Da-da-da-da…”
“I’m here, pal.”
Wet, hot tears of shame and overwhelm drip from his face as he gasps for steady air. He rubs at his ears, trying to make the ringing go away, the feeling like ripples on a pond still echoing through his head. It’s gone. We’re safe.
Fingers massaging slowly against his shoulders, giving him something else to focus on.
Slowly, he can see the world again. The sand-colored sidewalk under them. Scattered leaves piling up in corners against old brick walls. Trees lining the edge of the street beyond the alley. Late afternoon sun shimmering through the branches.
We’re safe.
“We can stay as long as you need to. It’s alright, Poe,” his dad murmurs into his ear, calm and steady and good.
It’s alright. We’re safe.
Poe leans forward, letting himself be swallowed up by a hug until everything feels right.