Work Text:
“Your fish are going to burn..”
Thrawn stared at Eli. “Chaos take the fish.” He reached out and flipped them all the same, then stared into the fire.
“It’s not like I knew the electrical system would be shot, and the engines would die. It was an old shuttle, Thrawn. Taking it into atmosphere was always going to be a risk.”
“Why would you come down here knowing there was a chance you couldn’t leave again? Why would you subject yourself to this life when you could have gone back and told them?”
“You, Thrawn.” Eli came around the fire and took Thrawn’s face in his hands, pressing their foreheads together; Thrawn instantly relaxed. “It’s not like I asked permission to go. If I went back, they would never let me leave again. Besides, If I had to choose between being back in society alone or in the wild with you, I pick you. Every time.”
Thrawn’s mind knew it had been illogical and unwise of Eli. Knew that no matter how nice the planet, life was too uncertain when living without modern technology and medicine. But his heart, his soul was thankful Eli had made the choice he had. Thankful to have him again; thankful to no longer be alone. Thankful that when he looked in Eli’s eyes, he saw only love and acceptance. No blame, or resentment, or worst of all, pity.
“We should scavenge what we can from your ship..”
“No,” Eli said, shaking his head. “What does it have that we really need? You have a great setup here, and you know what you’re doing. Let’s just live for a while. If I have you I’m happy, no matter what.”
Thrawn smiled, and bumped his forehead against Eli’s again. It was nice to have someone trust him without question; nice to know that someone had complete faith in him still. “I love you, Eli.”
Eli smiled. “I love you too, Thrawn. Now mind your fish.”
Thrawn huffed, then pulled the slightly-charred fish off the fire and ate his breakfast.
-----
Eli learns quickly, though he prefers to let Thrawn do the physical work. Thrawn prefers it too, if he is honest - taking care of Eli makes him feel useful, and it is the way he knows how to show his love and esteem best.
He takes Eli to see his fish traps, his crop fields, his fruit trees; teaches Eli how to clean skins and preserve meat; shows Eli what mushrooms are edible and what berries are not, which plants can be used to treat illness, what trees make the best lumber and which the best firewood. He offers to take Eli to the village so he can see the life they have made there, but Eli is reluctant to go.
“I don’t need them,” he says. “I just need you.”
It makes Thrawn feel proud. It makes him feel valued.
He tends to his daily chores with renewed enthusiasm. They discuss ways to improve the setup of his little homestead, to sow his crops with more efficiency, where to place a new storage shed and if it is better to smooth a path on the ground so he can utilize a wheelbarrow or if he should keep the ground as it is for aesthetic reasons.
They relax in the shallows of the nearby river during the heat of the day. They spend the evenings around the fire, watching the sun set and the moons rise. They spend the nights in each other’s arms, making up for years and years of lost time.
------
Two weeks or so after Eli arrives, the Jedi visits.
They had been relaxing in the water after spending the morning weeding the garden. Thrawn was drawing in the wet earth of the riverbank with a shard of stone when Eli rose from the water and draped himself across Thrawn’s back, resting his chin on the Chiss’s shoulder.
“What’re you doin’?” he asked.
Eli’s warm voice in his ear made Thrawn smile; he gestured to the drawing. “Considering additions to the dwelling. It is in need of repairs, so now is an ideal time to expand so it is larger. More structurally sound.”
Eli smiled with approval, pressing his face against Thrawn’s neck; Thrawn nuzzled him back. His shack - packed dirt floor and walls that had become less than stable over the years - was acceptable for him; he didn’t require much. Eli, however, deserved a better home.
“That sounds real nice, Darlin’. It’ll be a lot of work, but we can handle it, I think.” After a moment or two Eli’s head lifted, his tone changing to something wary. “You got a visitor.” He slipped off Thrawn, sinking back into the water; Thrawn looked up to see a figure approaching.
“Bridger. I will be back.” He stood, then leaned down to kiss Eli’s damp hair, huffing softly at the scowl on the man’s face. “Do not worry. He won’t stay long, and you do not need to socialize if you do not wish to do so.” Thrawn climbed out of the water and pulled on his pants, heading over to meet Bridger halfway. He knew Eli was still angry - livid, really - at the Jedi. In time, perhaps, that would change - for now, Thrawn wasn’t going to push interaction - and if he was honest, part of him liked having Eli all to himself. He stopped and waited for Ezra to draw close.
Ezra had a box in his arms, as he so often did - general supplies from the village that Thrawn was unable to grow or forage or build on his own. it was appreciated, and Thrawn gave the Jedi a nod of thanks. Bridger set the box down, and eyed the Chiss carefully before giving him a smile. “You’re looking much better, Thrawn. Everything around here is looking better, actually. How are you doing?”
It was a genuine question; the Jedi always inquired about his well-being, and seemed to actually care about his answers. Their relationship had started out strained at best, but over the years they had settled into a more amicable near-friendship. “I am well, Bridger.” Thrawn couldn’t help but smile back. “Eli found me. We have been tending to things that I had allowed to fall by the wayside.”
“Eli? Eli Vanto?” Ezra knew the name; everyone knew of Eli, and who he had been to Thrawn, even if the latter wasn’t discussed publicly. “Are rescuers coming?” He couldn’t help but be excited at the idea of going home.
“Ah.. no. Arriving here was the last his ship could manage. I’m afraid that he is stuck here now, too.” Thrawn didn’t sound especially upset at that.
“Ah.” Ezra tried to hide his disappointment. “Well, where is he?”
Thrawn hesitated. “You must understand, Bridger - he has not had the time to adjust that the rest of us have. He does not wish to speak to you, or anyone else. But he’s over there.” He turned and looked back to where Eli stood at the water’s edge, arms crossed over his chest in unmistakeable hostility. The sunlight caught the droplets scattered across his bare skin, making them sparkle; even in his anger he was beautiful, and Thrawn felt his heart swell. He lifted a hand and waved; Eli shook his head, glowering, then eventually waved back. Returning his attention to Ezra, Thrawn noted his frown and furrowed brow. “Give him time," he said apologetically. "Eli has a significant temper, but he will warm up to you eventually.”
“Yeah.. yeah.” Ezra looked back at Thrawn, studying him a moment before smiling kindly. “I won’t keep you, Thrawn. Have a good day; I’ll pop back again in a week or two.”
“Thank you, Bridger.” Thrawn nodded at the Jedi, then turned back towards the water with a smile on his face.
------
Ezra watched Thrawn go. The Chiss was a changed man since the last time he had visited - healthier looking, more robust, more engaged. He was taking care of himself again - there was a little more weight back on his gaunt frame, and he didn’t look or feel quite as.. faded. Ezra had been very worried at how despondent and generally dulled Thrawn had become - it was obvious he had just been going through the motions of life, rather than living it. This was like getting a glimpse of the Thrawn the others had known years and years before - his eyes were even glowing, something Ezra had only heard stories about and assumed was a figure of speech, not something literal that happened.
Thrawn’s declaration that Eli had come to him was somewhat troubling, especially when Ezra neither saw nor sensed any other person in the vicinity. The Chiss had returned to the riverside and was presently engaged in conversation with thin air as he shed his clothes; he appeared to have coaxed ‘Eli’ back into the river, judging by the look of pure affection on his face a moment before he sank below the surface. Was he engaging with a hallucination of his lost love, brought about by his mind to fight the grief that had clearly threatened to end him? Or was Eli a ghost, there seeking the life together that they had both been denied while parted for so long?
Ezra decided that ultimately, it didn’t really matter. He would keep Thrawn’s secret; he was happy, and seemed to be thriving, and wasn’t hurting himself or anyone else. As long as that was the case, there was no reason to take this from him.
He had earned his peace.