Chapter Text
Waking up in each others arms was always a great start of the day for both of the young skaters. The couple was recently were able to move into an apartment together, which was a huge step in their relationship, and expectedly, neither of them had any regrets in doing so. It took a lot of savings, time, and help from family and friends but just a week ago they finally were able to unpack everything. In the mean time, the had been putting up decorations throughout the week to make the place more.. them… well, more Reki if anything. Langa tended to be a bit more on the simpler side so he typically didn’t care what Reki did… so naturally, Reki decked out their entire room with skateboarding posters, stickers, drawings he had made. In the end Langa didn’t care.. because the apartment now reminded him of Reki who he loved more then anyone he had ever loved before.
The biggest staple in their room, which pretty much was something that came up very early in their relationship was the giant trans flag that was hung right above their bed. It hung proudly, something that helped identify them both. When they had first met, Langa had already completely transitioned, was on T and everything. As you can assume, it was quite the shock for Reki when Langa had bluntly told him he was trans but… it was also the biggest relief in the world at the exact same time. At the time… Reki went by a different name.. and called himself a girl when he had met Langa, too terrified to come out, too terrified to tell anybody how he truly felt.
The next words that flew out of his mouth was “Langa, I’m trans too,” and before he knew it his eyes were watering as he told him stuff he hadn’t told another soul before, the pronouns he preferred, how he wanted to be called Reki instead of his bow dead name, how he decided that years ago but he hadn’t spoke a word of it. Knowing someone else was trans was absolutely relieving, because at the end of the day Reki wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold it back. He didn’t know how much longer he could be this lie of a person. After that had happened, he slowly was able to come out to other people and he couldn’t be happier with his family who were his biggest supporters along with Mrs.Hasegawa.
Despite being on T, he hadn’t had a chance to get top or bottom surgery, while Langa was able to get top. If Reki was being completely honest, oftentimes he wasn’t even able to express to Langa how jealous he was.. that Langa was able to take off his shirt and walk around if he pleased. That he could proudly wear his scars and show his transformation which Reki didn’t have the luxury to do that yet.. despite the fact that he had been trying to save. Reki just.. wished for the life of him that he could have that.. but he had to wear this stupid binder all the time.. which he almost wore 24/7 despite the strong rib pain and people scolding constantly for.
The clock read 9:01, they were never really early risers, more times then not Reki was awake before Langa who slept in, so the red head had been up for awhile, scrolling through his phone and not trying to move much considering he was in a good deal of pain. Yes… tonight was one of those nights he had once again wore his binder throughout the night. He was lucky Langa for the lost sort hadn’t noticed since he wore a baggy T-shirt over it.
He felt Langa’s arms wrap around him and gently kiss his neck in a loving way. Soft giggles left the younger one’s throat as he was just a bit ticklish in that area of his neck, which Langa had always found to be the cutest thing in the world. Langa was always like that, even if Reki could feel so self conscious, so awful… his boyfriend.. he knew how to fix it every single time. Maybe it was how gentle and loving he did it.. each kiss whether it was placed on his neck, cheek or lips. He did it full of love, and tenderness that both of them loved to share. Reki closed his eyes, letting Langa’s love embarrass him more before he felt the blue-eyed skater pause.
“Reki… why are you wearing your binder?”
It was such a simple question but so complex at the exact same time, logically.. Reki knew he shouldn’t be wearing his binder like this, unless he was actively out to damage his body for some sort of reason, and he hadn’t anticipated Langa to find out, but Langa had reached his hands below his shirt to gently rub on his one his stomach, and felt the cloth clinging to Reki’s body and recognized it immediately as he slowly moved up to rub around his rib cage.
“I dunno..” Reki mumbled in reply, his eyes filled with a little bit of guilt and shame as he looked away. Unfortunately for the red head, his wandering eyes didn’t look away for long as Langa gently grabbed his chin, forcing their hues to meet. While Reki’s eyes were full of sone sort of sheepish embarrassment, the former snowboarder’s eyes were filled with concern. He already knew why Reki was doing this, but it didn’t mean he agreed with it whatsoever.
“You know.. that’s not good for you to wear all the time.. right?”
“Yeah..”
“Then.. then why are you wearing it?”
“It’s complicated Langa, okay?”
Reki’s last sentence was filled with an ounce of irritation where Langa knew not to press further despite not being the best with social cues. The thing was though.. Reki could genuinely hurt himself if he wasn’t careful with his body, and fortunately, Langa wasn’t stupid. He knew the trans experience, it wasn’t hard to guess why Reki had been keeping it on at all. He gently turned Reki’s body which caused the redhead to flinch from being so sore.. but as stated before, there was not a thing that Langa couldn’t fix for Reki.
“I understand Reki..” he said softly as he sat up, his bright blue eyes staring down into Reki’s amber ones. Reki made a face before he slowly sat up, his body having firey sore pain over his ribs and he found it hard to not react though he did wince in pain. “You did at one point but… you had the surgery.. you have the scars.. I don’t Langa…” Reki stated softly, looking down. He often times still felt like a girl and he absolutely hated it.
As much as he wanted to say at this moment Langa could relate to him, it felt silly. He had to live in this body.. that had boobs. He just thought it would of been much easier to be born in a boy body, to not have scars, to not have to deal.. with any of this. But at the same time.. it’s something him and Langa bonded over, something they understood about one another. He didn’t want to say Langa’s experience was easier then his at all, because that would be unfair but.. he didn’t know, he hated feeling this way. He hated his body so much.
“That doesn’t mean I don’t get it.. I know how much it sucks baby..” the bluenette said softly as he began to gently unlatch the binder and as much as Reki wanted to move away or gently shove Langa’s hand off of him to keep his binder off, the pure relief of each clasp unlatching was proof enough that this is what he needed. Reki wanted to gently cry, just to tell Langa about how much he hated this body and how he felt. He felt his eyes close tightly as his rib cage throbbed once the pressure was released, and Langa didn’t hesitate to pull a blanket over him, gently rubbing the sore rib cage.
“Reki.. when I look at you, I don’t see a girl..” Langa explained softly as he brushed strands of red hair out of his face to admire him, and his bright amber eyes. “I see you, and you identity as a boy, that’s what I see, when I look at you” he continued gently.
“You may not have scars like me yet.. but that’s never made you any less of a man.”
Langa leaned forward, gentle kissed pressed on Reki’s face. “And me getting too surgery doesn’t make me any more of a man. I was always a man… as long as identified as it, when will you realize that you are one no matter what body you were born into..?” He asked, his voice filled with a type of tenderness that made everything make sense to Reki, words often weren’t enough… but Langa’s words always were.
The usually hyper one was now quiet, but his face said it all, the gently trembling lips, his widened eyes, and the soft blush of red on his cheeks. “It’s okay baby, you can let out,” Langa told him gently. Reki shook his head and rubbed his eyes. “Thanks Langa..” he responded with a heavy breathe leaving his lips. He just needed this… he needed to hear he was a boy, he needed to hear from the person he loved the most that he was valid. The words were so simple, yet they held such a meaning, not just for Reki, but for Langa too.
Langa gave him a soft smile and kissed his cheeks. “Of course my handsome,” he responded as he wrapped his arms around. He gently grabbed his face, kissing his cheek over and over again, using his thumb to dry his wet eyes. He wanted Reki to know he was his most handsome man, the most beautiful, and most important he was a guy. He wanted Reki to know that. “You’ll always be my handsome man,” he continued gently.
“Scars or binder… you are the most beautiful man in the world,” Langa continued, his pale fingers running through the bright red hair of his boyfriends.
“I love you Reki, no matter what.”
“I love you too too Langa.. so much..”