Chapter Text
The gentle chill of night wafted into the bedroom window as Yuuta sat up scrolling through his phone. Sleeping didn’t come any easier in Africa. In fact, he reckoned that it was even worse. The week had been a long one and Yuuta felt exhausted from his training, but winding down and actually sleeping seemed like an impossible task. When the world grew quiet, his mind became loud; filled to the brim with ‘what ifs.’
What if someone stronger than Getou invaded Jujutsu High while he was away? What if Maki got caught up in another curse akin to the one Yuuta saved her from? What if Panda had to protect the other two all alone? What if the first years weren’t equipped to handle what his peers could and they needed his protection too? What if Gojo was still having issues with the leaders because of him? What if...?
What if Inumaki needed a partner to accompany him on a mission, but no one was suitable for the position? What if he had to go alone and was blindsided again?
He shook his head of the thought.
Yuuta had just opened a picture he was particularly fond of when a cool breeze cut through the room. Soft moonlight peaked through the open window, decorating the floor in silvery rays as he mourned over the memory in his hand.
It was the last photo he had taken with Inumaki before he left for Africa. At the time it was taken, they hadn’t done anything significant. It had been a day that there were no classes, no missions, no crises, and no events. It was a perfectly normal day, but Yuuta treasured it despite its lack of “memorability.”
He pulled the phone closer as he carefully examined the features of the classmate he missed so dearly.
Inumaki had been in high spirits that day, and it reflected directly in the expression on his face in the photo. His typically reserved violet eyes were closed to make way for a large toothy smile that stretched from ear to ear. In fact, Yuuta could still hear his laugh through the screen. His lip quirked up a little as the sound of it echoed in his mind. It had been uncommon to hear the cursed speech user’s laugh. So, Yuuta cherished every time he was lucky enough to be around to hear it.
His eyes drifted away from the generous grin and towards the seals that punctuated each of Inumaki’s cheeks. Tenderly, he thumbed at the screen as if he could feel their cursed energy beneath his skin. They were beautiful, despite what Inumaki might think. Yuuta knew that the other boy hated the seals, but he couldn’t bring himself to think they were anything less than perfect.
Yuuta rolled his finger across the picture a little longer as he thought about how much he missed Inumaki. His heart sank as he realized that he hadn’t felt the other’s cursed energy in months. As each evening came and went, he felt more and more lonely as the reality that he was thousands of kilometers away sank in.
Eventually, Yuuta clicked his phone screen off with a huff and tossed it next to where he sat on his bed. He didn’t want to torture himself— really, he didn’t. Yet, he somehow found himself in the same loop every night.
The sun would set, he’d get ready to go to bed, and somehow, after staring at the ceiling for 3 hours or more, he’d finally try to comfort himself by looking at pictures from when he was at Jujutsu High. Then, without meaning to, he’d find himself going through the album he made specifically with Inumaki in mind.
He scrubbed at his face, mourning over the fact that he always ended up there. He never meant to and part of him tried to avoid it, but naturally, he made his way back to thoughts of Inumaki against his better judgment. Yuuta had developed a massive crush on his classmate during their first year, but he never felt like he could act on it. “Love is the greatest curse,” after all...
He groaned at his current dilemma and flopped back onto the mattress. As his back collided with the plush sheets, Yuuta imagined what the warmth of Inumaki beside him might feel like on a cool night like this. He envisioned how the heat would radiate from the smaller, lithe body next to him; cuddled up under the covers and pressed into his side until it would be indistinguishable where Yuuta’s skin ended and Inumaki’s began. He surmised that Inumaki’s nimble fingers might draw circles across his chest or maybe write the words he couldn’t say. Yuuta wondered if his classmate would nuzzle into Yuuta’s shoulder or if he’d allow Yuuta to nuzzle into his.
“I have to stop this,” he muttered to himself. “He’s a good friend, that’s all it will ever be.” No matter how much Yuuta wanted it to be more.
With an exasperated sigh, Yuuta stood up and walked over to the window. As he approached, he reached out to lean against it and stared out at the open sky. The night was littered with twinkling stars and the moon shone so bright that it illuminated the entire town nestled around him. The whole scene appeared so serene that Yuuta swore it almost felt romantic— in a melancholic sort of way.
His breath appeared faintly in the air as he took in the atmosphere outside his bedroom. The cold felt good against his heated skin and Yuuta believed for a moment that maybe he could wish upon a star. If only life were that simple.
He rubbed his hands together, fighting off the numbness the frigid air kissed against his fingertips. Rolling them in the palms of his hands, Yuuta’s mind wandered back to Inumaki once again. He closed his eyes and pictured the smaller boy walking up behind him and wrapping his arms around Yuuta’s waist. He could almost sense the way Inumaki would likely lay his head against the center of Yuuta’s back and hum lowly against him. It sent chills through Yuuta as he longed to be embraced.
What would Inumaki’s hands feel like entangled in his own? Would Inumaki mind Yuuta’s callouses? Would he gently soothe his thumb across Yuuta’s knuckles? Yuuta stared down at his hands, still working one over the other, and imagined what it might be like to warm Inumaki’s hands instead.
He took a final look out to the sky and whispered, “I wish you were here,” through a taut voice before closing the window and returning to his bed.
Yuuta’s movements slowed as he crawled under the covers, from drowsiness or lowliness, he didn’t know. He tucked himself in and rolled over to check his phone one more time. As he opened it, the same picture of Inumaki and him came to life. Tears pricked at Yuuta’s eyes as he took one last glance at the precious memory and then promptly closed it.
Yuuta swiped to clear the app, but froze when he saw the text conversation with Inumaki still open on the next page over. He subconsciously held his breath as he contemplated what to do. The final message Inumaki had sent was trivial. It had been something about his lunch with Panda and how Yuuta would have loved their appetizer. The exchange was nothing out of the ordinary, yet, Yuuta’s heart skipped a beat as he tentatively scrolled over to the page, opening it.
He stared at the screen for a brief moment before typing something out in his bout of loneliness that he assumed he’d regret come morning. Current Yuuta couldn’t be bothered with Future Yuuta’s problems though. So, he wrote out, ‘I miss you,’ and hit send before he could think better of it.
Yuuta clicked the screen off and dropped the phone onto his chest as he raked his fingers up into his hairline at his actions. Would he regret this? Probably, but it was the truth and he was too lonely at the moment to care.
He laid still, letting the likelihood of certain consequences wash over him as sleep began to pull him under. He had started to teeter on the edge between consciousness and dreams when his phone vibrated softly against his chest.
He rubbed his face a bit harshly as he blinked the sleep from his eyes. When he felt the world come into focus, he lifted his phone, squinting at the notification on his lock screen:
1 New Message – Inumaki Toge
At first, Yuuta’s stomach filled with butterflies, but they quickly died one by one as he recalled the message he had sent.
He knew that the message itself wasn’t anything too weird per se, but the fact it was out of the blue made Yuuta worry. Was it okay that he had sent something so sad to Inumaki out of nowhere? Would the other boy interpret it in an odd way? Would it make Yuuta seem desperate?
He tried his best to calm his hammering heart because he knew that questioning the response instead of reading it would get him nowhere.
Still looking at the screen, Yuuta took a steadying breath and opened the message.
I miss you too. You’re up late. Is everything okay?
He looked at the time, nearly 3am. Ah – it was pretty late. He read the message again and then paused. Did Inumaki know what time it was for him? Or was it an assumption? If he did know, why would he keep tabs on Yuuta’s time zone?
Suspicious, Yuuta scrolled through the small amount of messages they had shared since he made it to Morocco.
Hey! You won’t believe what happened during training today! (3:31pm)
Maki told me I should tell you about Gojo raving about you to the first years (3:49pm)
[Picture of Onigiri] (5:02pm)
[Video of Maki smacking Itadori for saying something stupid at lunch] (12:15pm)
Yuuta carefully analyzed each message, his speculation had been correct. Inumaki never sent him a message outside of what could be considered a “reasonable” hour. Each time the other boy had started a conversation, it’d always begin at a time when Yuuta would certainly be awake. In fact, as he inspected further, Yuuta discovered that they all seemed to come in at times he would have been able to respond. Two were right after training, one at lunch, and the other around dinner time. So, not only was Inumaki not sending Yuuta messages at odd hours, he was sending them during Yuuta’s free hours.
Yuuta sat up so suddenly at the realization that he nearly threw himself off balance from the initial shock. He placed a hand against the mattress, steadying himself as he gawked at the messages. Why did Inumaki care?— was his newest question.
His fingers flew across the keyboard, hastily messaging his honest reply before reasoning could dawn on him.
I’m okay. Was just feeling really lonely and thought of you. Wish I could be with you again.
His heart rattled in his chest like a prisoner trying to escape, but Yuuta, like a good warden, wouldn’t let it. He pushed it back down, urging it to settle. He needed sleep and Inumaki needed someone who couldn’t accidentally curse him. So, Yuuta relinquished the idea that Inumaki could ever reciprocate the feelings Yuuta harbored deep inside for his friend and slumped back down under the sheets.
Slumber took him soon after, lulling him off to a restless sleep as his phone once again blinked to life.
1 New Message – Inumaki Toge