Work Text:
"You don't like marshmallows in your hot chocolate?!"
Chota stares incredulously at Niragi, his eyes big and disbelieving. People in the small café are laughing and talking, but Chota looks like the world is ending.
Niragi doesn't seem to think so, because he just shrugs and swirls his distinctly marshmallow-less hot chocolate with a spoon. "No, I don't."
Chota looks from Tatta, who had chosen to sit between Niragi and him, to Arisu and finally to Karube. When he doesn't get what he believes is an appropriate reaction to the revelation from either of them, he shakes his head.
"Why do you hate love?", he finally mutters before sipping at his own hot chocolate that is drowning in white, sweet marshmallow-y goodness.
Niragi rolls his eyes. "You're being a tad bit dramatic; don't you think?"
"No, as a matter of fact, I don't", Chota protests. "Your life is decidedly loveless, as evidenced by your choice in hot beverages and by the fact that you're chronically single."
Niragi frowns. "I'm not."
"You're not what?"
"Single."
Chota stares at him. "You’re not single?"
Karube snorts. "No, he isn't."
Arisu's head whips around. "He isn't?"
Tatta giggles. "He really isn't."
Arisu and Chota both stare at them, open-mouthed and with comically wide eyes.
"What's happening?", Chota finally breathes, dumbfounded. "Who the hell would date you?"
Niragi just rolls his eyes but stays silent. It doesn't stop Arisu and Chota from immediately starting to speculate.
"She'd have to be like him, right? Strong and eternally pissed-off. No one else would be able to deal with his mood swings and with how rude he always is."
Arisu shakes his head slowly. "Or maybe she's the complete opposite of him. Like, super nice and kind, always there for everybody, and she kind of just ... absorbs his rudeness with her awesomeness. They'd balance each other out that way, and there'd never be any conflict at all."
Niragi raises an eyebrow. "You're not that far off, honestly", he says casually after licking the chocolate foam from his spoon. He takes the cookie that has come with his hot chocolate and places it next to Tatta's own cookie. "Except for the gender. That one you missed by a mile."
Arisu and Chota look at each other for a moment. "So it's a guy, probably", Arisu finally says. "Complete opposite of the spectrum."
"You can't know that", Chota protests. "Maybe they're neither."
"Good thinking", Tatta compliments. He decimated his first cookie in rapid speed and reaches for the other. "But it's a guy."
Arisu smirks. "Okay", he says as he leans slightly forward on both of his elbows, his face in his hands and his gaze fixed onto Niragi. "A guy then. Let's see... Who do we know that is a guy, nice, kind and always helpful and who can absorb Niragi's rudeness with his very being?"
Chota's eyes widen.
"Me", he whispers. "Oh god, it's me. You're dating me."
Karube wants to drop his head onto the table, but tragically, there isn't enough space for that.
Niragi just stares at Chota. "Believe me, if I was dating you, you'd know", he finally says.
"So, the person knows?", Arisu asks. "Are you sure about that?"
"That I'm in a relationship with him?", Niragi asks. "Yeah, obviously he does."
"Wait!", Chota exclaims excitedly. "Arisu, there's somebody here who knew about it! I bet it's him!"
Finally, Karube thinks. Somebody using their brain for once.
"It's Karube!"
Or not.
"Jesus fuck, no, it's not me", Karube growls and silently wonders where he would be today if he hadn't saved those two dumbasses all those years ago. In a better place, surely.
"No, it can't be Karube", Arisu agrees. "He doesn't fit the profile" Between the two of them, he's definitely the one carrying the single brain cell most of the time. "But I think that-"
He gets interrupted when his phone starts ringing obnoxiously on the table. He looks at it for a moment, clearly confused, before his eyes widen. "Shit", he mumbles and shakes Chota by the arm. "I think we forgot to get Mizuki. Usagi's gonna be so pissed."
"Ah, man", Chota sighs as he stares at his cup. "I didn't even get to finish it." He gets up and puts on his coat and scarf while Arisu fights with the stroller. "But Godfather duty calls, so I guess we have to table this for later." He looks at Tatta. "You can have the rest of my hot chocolate, if you want, because you're nice. Don't give it to Karube, though, cause he's a meanie. And definitely don't give it to Niragi, cause he hates love."
With that, they leave in a haste.
"Jesus, they're so daft", Karube sighs and looks at Tatta. "You honestly have to work on your poker face though, if you don't want anybody to know. This only worked because they're incredibly clueless."
Tatta only grins smugly and holds out his hand to Niragi, who sighs, pulls his wallet from his back pocket and fishes out a few thousand yen.
Karube snorts. "You bet on how long it takes people to figure it out?"
Niragi shrugs while he passes the money to Tatta. "Why not? It's fun."
"You're not gonna get far with how obvious you two are", Karube tells them.
Niragi shrugs again. "Time will tell", he says before getting up and putting on his own coat. "Gotta go though. I'll see you later?", he asks Tatta, who smiles and nods. Niragi smiles back and leans down to press a quick kiss to his lips.
He turns to leave, but Karube has another question. "Was I the first to know?"
Niragi smirks. So does Tatta.
"The second", Niragi admits. "Usagi beat you to it."
Karube shrugs. He can live with that.
"By a few months", Niragi adds.
Karube frowns. "Months? What do you mean, months?"
Niragi sighs again and another few thousand yen wander from his wallet to Tatta's. Then he waves before strolling out of the café and out of sight.
Karube turns to Tatta. "This is a recent development, right? Right?"
Tatta just smiles contently and takes a sip from Chota’s hot chocolate.