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If Kuni let his mind go there, he would know this is the happiest he’s ever been. Even if to Kazuha and Heizou he’s just a fleeting shimmer in their night sky, they are the currently blinding supernova in his. He doesn’t mind, he tells himself. He doesn’t mind that he’s just someone to kiss, someone to have fun with, a body to enjoy, the falling star you pay attention to for a moment, to then make a wish upon for the person sleeping soundly with their head in your lap.
He doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind it when over time, kisses move further down, to his neck, his stomach. He doesn’t mind Heizou’s fingers in his hair, Kazuha’s teeth grazing his thighs and his tongue in between them. And those moments when all he feels is breeze in an ever suffocating chest, he doesn’t mind those either.
It’s okay when endearments are accidentally directed at him, when eyes look at him with love he knows is meant for the person next to him and when plans are made that won’t involve him. It’s okay, he can travel to those places they want to go too, and hope some part of Kazuha and Heizou still lingers in the air. He too can wonder about what colour teapot compliments the kitchen towels, what he would want to name a cat, he can do it all on his own. And he does, involuntarily gives into this sweet imagination of what if it wasn’t just Kazuha and Heizou, what if it was Kazuha, Heizou and Kuni.
It’s especially hard not to give in when he lies in their bed, when it’s unclear which limbs are whose. When he’s unsure where Kazuha and Heizou begin and Kuni ends.
He enjoys their warmth as he listens to Heizou tell Kazuha about his day, “So I told the guy, if it wasn’t for my boyfriend’s ginormous hat, the evidence would have been lost to the rain.”
A cold washes over Kuni. “What.”
“Hmm?”
“Why did you tell him that?”
“Just to brag, really.”
“No, why did you tell him I’m your boyfriend?”
“What?”
“What.”
They stare at each other for a while until Kazuha breaks the silence. “Were you unaware of that, Kuni?” His voice is so gentle, it burns.
Kuni sits up abruptly. “Is this a joke?”
“I guess we never actually had a conversation about it but I just assumed—”
“Assumed based on what?!”
Heizou looks around the bed and blinks. “We have sex. Pretty regularly.”
“So?!”
“You have your own toothbrush in the bathroom,” Kazuha adds.
“Because it’s convenient.”
“We gave you a key to the house?”
“So you wouldn’t have to bother opening the door for me all the time.”
“We tell you we love you.”
Kuni jumps off the bed. “No, you tell each other!”
“No, Kuni.”
A tear falls from his right eye. “No?”
They both carefully shake their heads at him. Kuni disappears into the bathroom. He locks the door and his toothbrush goes flying through the window. It’s been a while since he’s had a panic attack without Kazuha and or Heizou soothing him through it. He considers following the toothbrush but a soft knock on the door makes him turn around. “Can we come in?”
Kuni shakes his head. This is too much. Things were fine, good even, the best. Now everything will—
“Nothing will change, Kuni. We’ve been dating you for months, even if you weren’t dating us. We can just carry on like we did,” Kazuha reassures.
It takes hours but eventually, Kuni manages to open the bathroom door and finds Kazuha sitting cross-legged in front of it with Heizou sleeping against him. The look of love he gives Kuni is the same as before, but now it’s his. The tender kiss he gets when he’s led back to the bed is his, Heizou’s possessive arm around him is his.
Tomorrow is theirs, and that includes him.