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"This input is not helpful, sir," Hakkai said, which was the kind of thing any android might say when its master decided to indulge in a spot of impromptu re-programming via violence. It might even have been the kind of thing Hakkai wanted to say, it was always hard to tell with him. Gojyo, now, he was experiencing disturbing urges to step forwards and rip the offending fan out of Sanzo's hand. Maybe say something more like Cut it out, asshole. It was satisfying to imagine the angry intonation and the shock on Sanzo's face. He swayed forwards a millimetre and immediately all the security subroutines kicked in, leaving him standing there like a statue while the laws of robotics played over and over in his memory banks.
"Shit," Sanzo said, all the irritation running out of him, leaving him looking young and tired. "What's the fucking use? Get out of here, both of you, I'm going to bed."
"Of course, sir, pleasant dreams," Hakkai said, with a charming smile. "Shall we call you at the usual time?"
"Yeah,"Sanzo said, looking down at his feet as he sank down onto the bed. "We need to be back on the road. Get that young idiot up before me. I don't want to have to haul him out of bed myself."
"Master Goku will be up and waiting for you, sir. Good night."
"Good. Night," Gojyo added, just to annoy Sanzo by reminding him of his existence. There wasn't any response, of course, so it only succeeded in annoying Gojyo instead.
"How. Can. You. Put. Up. With. Him?" he asked, when they were safely in the tiny storage room with Goku and Sanzo's luggage. "He. Could. Have. Damaged. Your. Auditory. Mechanism."
"Oh, Gojyo," Hakkai said, with a fluid little shrug, "he didn't mean anything by it. Dear me, I'm not sure Goku's socks can be darned much more – perhaps the budget will stretch to a couple of new pairs. What do you think?"
I think, Gojyo thought, that it's weird that something like you has ended up nannying that grumpy fucker and his sloppy little ward. Hakkai had obviously been built for better things: his movements were natural and graceful, his vocal synthesizer produced a soft and gentle voice, and his memory banks were full of geographical and historical facts. Not to mention information on correct grammar and spelling in dozens of languages. He was surely designed to be an instructional model of android, or a secretary. Gojyo felt his lips thin in what was undoubtedly an unattractive manner that would have had the designers frowning. And then someone had opened up Hakkai's brain and stuffed in combat programming. Now, Gojyo, yeah, fine, he was the sort of model that was meant for that programming, but Hakkai? It wasn't fair.
"Hakkai. Do. You. Ever. Hate –" Gojyo's voice froze on the final words. He couldn't ask about Hakkai's programmers. He looked down, away from Hakkai's face. He bet he could ask if Hakkai loved them. If he revered them.
"Now, now," Hakkai said. "We mustn't confuse ourselves with unanswerable questions, Gojyo. Why don't we just finish tidying up the master's things and then power down for the night? Everything will be much easier in the morning." He patted Gojyo's arm consolingly, then – oddly - turned the lighting up a little. "Can you separate out the things that should go to the laundry, please?"
Gojyo obediently sorted and folded clothes, looking up as he realized that Hakkai, who normally folded clothes like he had a genuine emotional response to the action, was doing something else. Was, in fact writing on a tiny scrap of paper that he finally held out. The writing was miniscule, as neat as if printed, and beautiful, Gojyo thought, though his programming didn't really cover such things in depth.
Anomalous vocal statements and/or physical actions are permanently recorded, the note said. Be careful, you could face re-programming. You don't want that.
Re-progamming, Gojyo thought, and looked into Hakkai's expensively modeled, so-naturalistic features. Who had owned him before Sanzo, he wondered? What had Hakkai said, that ended with him stuck in a storage room with a low-end model like Gojyo? What had he done?
"Hakkai," he said, regretting the flat quality of his voice, compared with Hakkai's pleasant, natural tones, "I'm. Sorry –"
"Don't ever think I regret the opportunity of being with you," Hakkai said. "You're a very pleasant companion, Gojyo."
He squeezed Gojyo's shoulder, a precise movement registering as a slight, not unpleasant pressure. It was the sort of thing that humans did on occasions when they were demonstrating positive emotions towards each other, Gojyo had observed. Or pretending to, Hakkai had whispered, his voice amused and sly. Gojyo felt a moment's confusion as he tried to work out which option Hakkai was demonstrating. Surely Hakkai couldn't pretend? No more, he thought suddenly, than an android was supposed to be able to even think of hating their programmers and owners – but found that the only prohibition was on voicing the hate.
"You're such a good friend," Hakkai said, his hand still resting lightly on Gojyo's shoulder. "We're both experiencing a little tiredness, don't you think? Let's power down and rest. Don't worry, Gojyo. This kind of thing won't have to be endured for ever. You'll see."
Gojyo looked at him in what, he thought, might be horrified wonder. What had Hakkai done?
"What. Do. You. Mean?"
"Why, we've finished all the work for this evening, and I'm sure the master will buy Goku some new socks, so I won't need to do any darning for a while! We'll almost be on holiday!" Hakkai said cheerfully, and he laughed, a sound that was exactly like a human laugh, warm and happy. His voice was innocent and carefree and his face was deeply, sardonically amused, as if the ease of divorcing expression and tone was nothing to his programming.
Androids can't pretend, Gojyo thought. We can't. Then he laughed too, though his was harsher and more artificial in sound. "That. Does. Sound. Good," he said, glad for once his voice was flat and expressionless.
Hakkai's smile turned genuine, and his fingers tightened a little on Gojyo's shoulder. Pretence or not, Gojyo thought, it felt better than anything had for a long time.