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January
It starts when Cameron discovers a prescription bottle she doesn’t recognize in House’s backpack.
She isn’t invading his privacy, not really.
Their patient is improving. Their patient is improving and the team doesn’t know why. House knows why, he administered the mystery treatment, and then proceeded to tell them that the answer is hidden somewhere in his office.
The answer isn’t in his backpack, unfortunately. She does study the label of the bottle she found - she doesn’t recognize the name of the drug.
“Hey Foreman, have you heard of this before? It’s in House’s name.” She asks, tossing the bottle towards the bookshelf where Foreman is seated on the floor combing through each one.
He catches the bottle and examines the label, eyebrows climbing his forehead.
“Yeah, I remember this from my OBGYN rotation. It’s prescribed to omegas in preparation for breeding.” His voice is high pitched, and disbelieving.
Cameron’s mouth falls open. They know that House is an omega, and that he’s married and bonded to Dr. Wilson. She just never thought the two of them would have pups. While she can picture Dr. Wilson as a father, it’s a little harder to see for House.
“Toss it here.” Chase scoffs.
Foreman tosses the bottle to Chase who’s seated at House’s desk going through his computer.
“Yes this is prescribed if an omega is planning on being bred, but it’s also prescribed for Distressed Heat Syndrome. It’s not conception specific, it’s just for general reproductive support.” He explains, tossing the bottle back to Cameron.
“You think it’s more likely House has Distressed Heat Syndrome?” Cameron questions.
“Uh yeah. Can you picture House pregnant? Anyway, House is an omega in his mid-fourties’ who, as far as we are aware, has never pupped. That’s the most common situation for people with Distressed Heat Syndrome.”
“I think I want to stop taking about our boss and what is or is not going on with his reproductive organs.” Foreman jumped in.
Cameron put away the pill bottle, just in time too as a few minutes later House limbed into his office.
He stopped, looking at the mess they’d made before speaking.
“You idiots.” He said with an eye roll.
Climbing onto a chair, he pulled a piece of paper with the answer on it tapped to the ceiling.
April
No one thinks about it again for a while. Not until House announces that he’ll be off the next week on a Friday morning. They aren’t stupid, they know why.
First of all because they can all do math and know that House takes a week off every 13 weeks, a slightly long but still normal heat cycle.
Second of all because they can smell him. Even Cameron who’s a beta can tell his scent is stronger, though she can’t pick up the sweetening of the scent the way Chase, an omega, and Foreman, an alpha, can.
It’s clear House is in preheat. His increased scent, the way he keeps tugging slightly on the collar of his shirt. He’s stretched the neck out from pulling, so now the scar of his bond bite is visible. Dr. Wilson keeps popping in, hovering around in that concerned alpha way.
The three of them are just coming back from running the tests House wanted when they freeze in front of House’s office door.
Wilson is nuzzling against House’s neck and House has his eyes closed and head tilted, a clearly submissive gesture. This isn’t the first time the team has caught a glimpse of House engaging in omega-typical behaviour, so that doesn’t shock them. What does shock them is the words leaving Dr. Wilson’s mouth.
“Can’t wait to breed you. Gonna fill you up with my pup, my pretty omega.”
They back away slowly before House or Wilson sees them, deciding to give the pair a few minutes.
“Still think that prescription was for Distressed Heat Syndrome?” Cameron quips.
“Lots of couples enjoy the fantasy of breeding without planning on actually doing it. It’s why heats and ruts exist, for breeding. It’s a healthy expression of sexuality especially for a bonded couple like House and Wilson. You know if House is in preheat than Wilson’s in prerut.” Chase lectured.
It was true. Bonded couples heats and ruts synced because it meant the greatest chance of conception if both partners where at peak fertility at the same time.
By the time they returned to the office, Wilson had left and House was sitting at his desk looking at something on his computer. The only indication that anything uncouth had taken place was the heavy scent of omega and alpha pheromones in the air.
July
The summer sun shines through the glass into House’s office. Cameron is rooting around his mess of a desk, trying to get his paperwork in order. They don’t have a case right now as House is off on heat leave, so she has nothing better to do. God knows House won’t do his own paperwork.
As she gathers up piles of papers she unearths a book. It’s titled “Fertility and the Mature Omega.” She stares at it for a moment, before calling in the rest of the team.
When Chase and Foreman arrive and she holds up the book Foreman rolls his eyes. Chase grabs the book out of her hands. She places her hands on her hips as Chase flips through the book, convinced she’s found proof that House and Wilson are trying for a pup.
“This book covers conception yes, but it also covers menopause.” Chase thrusts the book back her.
“House is only 45, most omegas don’t hit menopause until 55. You really think it’s that part of the book he’s looking at?” Cameron questioned indignantly.
“I think it’s far more likely that Gregory House is going through menopause than trying to get pregnant. Is he 10 years younger than the average menopausal omega? Yes. But we already figured out he probably has Distressed Heat Syndrome and the complications from that often result in early menopause.”
What Chase was saying was true. DHS caused soaring fevers, anxiety, pain during intercourse. In extreme cases it even caused impotence, leaving the omega with no choice but to ride out the heat without any of the relief sex provides.
“If he is going through menopause it would mean missing heats. House hasn’t missed a heat.” Cameron countered.
“The first sign of menopause can be shorter, less intense heats. Yes he comes in, we can tell he’s in preheat, and he takes a week off. Doesn’t mean he’s actually in heat the entire time.” Chase argued.
There was no settling the disagreement. Foreman wouldn’t give an opinion to tip the scale, so all the could do was wait to see what happened. Either House would start missing heats, or he’d announce he was pregnant.
October
House should have taken heat leave a week ago at least. He’d had no signs of preheat either. Wilson seemed to be coming around more often, and House seemed down.
“I told you it was menopause.” Chase sing-songed one day after Wilson and House went to the cafeteria together.
“He could be pregnant.” Cameron insisted.
“You don’t think he would have said something by now? He’d be 14 weeks along.” Chase countered.
“Some people choose to keep their pregnancies to themselves for as long as they can. He might not want the attention that comes from being a pregnant omega.”
Omega doctors were relatively rare. A pregnant omega doctor would garner a lot of attention. Especially if that pregnant omega doctor was Gregory House.
“He’s seemed down, and menopause can cause depression.” Chase said.
“Pregnancy can cause fatigue.” Cameron countered.
“We could test him.” Foreman said from his seat in the corner.
Foreman had thus far been avoiding being a part of his colleagues speculation about their bosses breeding cycles but he was getting tired of listening to it. A pregnancy test would confirm either Cameron or Chase’s theory.
“How do you suggest we do that? Do you know how hard it is to steal someone’s blood?” Chase exclaimed.
“We could steal his urine.” Cameron said.
“My thoughts exactly.” Foreman agreed.
Chase looked back and forth between the two team members.
“How exactly do you think we are going to steal House’s urine?” Chase said, bewildered.
In the end they came up with a plan to stop the drain and flushing mechanism on the urinal in the morgue mens room. It was almost never used, and House wouldn’t be able to tell that it wasn’t draining or flushing until it was to late. The trickiest part was getting him to the morgue at the right time, but after paying a janitor to wax the floor right outside the DDx room in the middle of their DDx they were able to get House to relocate to the morgue (it helped that the morgue was one of House’s favorite places to hold a DDx.)
Cameron purchased a cup of coffee for each of them from the canteen on the way down, and in House’s she put a fast acting diuretic. She made sure the one she chose wouldn’t do any damage if House was pregnant. Sure enough, part way through the DDx House wandered into the bathroom to yell demands at them from there. After they’d decided on a course of treatment for the patient House limped off and the three fellows played rock paper scissors to determine who had to retrieve the sample. Chase lost.
Foreman decided he’d be the one to run the test, as he wasn’t a part of Cameron and Chase’s debate. They sat on the opposite side of the room as Foreman waited the allotted three minutes. The timer went off and he looked down at the test before proclaiming,
“Well, it looks like Cameron wins. House is pregnant.”
They all scurried up to House’s office, where they found House in his recliner and Wilson sitting in House’s desk chair next to him.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” House asked, eyeing the three of them.
They were all silent for a few beats before Cameron exclaimed, “You’re pregnant!”
“What? No. I hadn’t noticed. Though now that I think about it, it does explain the six weeks of vomiting every morning, way I’m tired all the time, and why my jeans stopped fitting.” House said sarcastically.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Chase asked.
“I knew you’d figure it out eventually.”