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“Shiki, maybe… you’re not meant to be a designer.”
“…”
“Shiki…?”
“I…I-I’m sorry. I have to go.”
“Shiki, hold on—”
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Eri.”
And then she’d left, just like that. Part of Shiki hoped that “tomorrow” wouldn’t come. She kept her gaze down as she hurried into the Scramble, her hastily scribbled out failures still sticking out of her purse.
It didn’t really matter if she lost them. They weren’t good enough. She wasn’t good enough. The doll she carried—he also wasn’t good enough. Because she was still stuck as “Shiki.”
Eri, though… Her smile from just an hour ago popped into Shiki’s head. How Shiki wished she could smile like that—that she could be just naturally cute like that. Everything came naturally to Eri…
And Shiki resented that.
Eri was smart. Eri was pretty. Eri could already design all the clothes she wanted, make any friend she wanted. She didn’t need Shiki there.
The light for the Scramble flickered, changing to the walk symbol. Shiki let herself get lost in the crowd headed towards Hachiko—and the bus station past him. Not like she was that noticeable anyway. She was so plain and unremarkable with her boring brown hair and huge glasses. No one would ever pick her out in a crowd like this.
No one would…
As she reached Hachiko, Shiki bumped straight into someone. She blinked, quickly pulling away from one of the most hideous fashion disasters she’d ever seen in her life. A few of her failed scribbles flittered down between them as she tried to compose herself.
“S-sorry!” she spat out as she stifled a grimace and gave him a reluctant once over.
The boy looked to be about her age, with untamed spiky orange hair. He kept purple headphones over his ears, and they matched the sleeveless Jupiter of the Monkey shirt he wore. She recognized it—a signature of the brand called the “dharma,” if she remembered right. Though unlike the usual cut, he had what Shiki could only describe as a pet cone surrounding his neck, completely hiding his mouth.
But unfortunately not his eyes. They were a deep blue and cold, slightly shrouded by his bangs. Silent, he picked up one of her messy designs, then turned to face Shiki with the ferocity of a tiger. She backed away, and it was all she could do to mumble another “sorry” under the pressure.
If he’d simply said nothing—or better yet, “it’s okay”—she’d have left it at that.
“Watch where you’re going,” the boy snapped in the most curt tone Shiki had ever heard, and he stuffed the drawing back at her with such force that it threatened to rip the paper. Her jaw practically dropped at how uncalled for that was.
“It takes two to run into each other,” Shiki retorted. Her grimace came back, and this time she made no effort to hide it. “You also weren’t watching.”
The boy’s scowl somehow deepened. She didn’t even know a person could make that harsh of a face. “Just leave me the hell alone,” he said as he trudged away, trying to blend in with the crowd. However, from the unique haircut, if it could be called that, to the spicy roll shirt, he stuck out like a sore thumb. A very sore thumb, given his attitude.
Ugh, today seriously couldn’t get any worse. First Eri, and now this jerk. She didn’t know whether to be sad or angry anymore as she marched towards the bus station, more than ready to just collapse on her bed, scream into her pillow, and forget today ever happened.
* * * * * * *
The next day came—and with it, a weird feeling. Despite her best attempts to start the day out optimistic, yesterday’s events still lingered over Shiki, following her like her own personal rain cloud.
It was more than just her thoughts, though those thoughts were a huge part of it. She wished she could tell Eri about the rude fashion fail, yet at the same time, she wasn’t sure what she’d say to Eri after their last conversation. She’d left at such an awkward time, and she still didn’t feel like she was good enough in Eri’s eyes…
Even with all that circling in her head, though, there was still something else—something she couldn’t place about this new day. It was almost like she hadn’t slept, though she did remember sleeping. She was just doomed to experience the longest day in history with how seamlessly it continued. She even woke up extra early and brought Mr. Mew with her in the hopes he’d somehow help fight away the bad thoughts—as impossible as she knew that was.
Shiki sighed as she grabbed the handle to the door of class 1-B. Regardless of her thoughts and feelings, she had to face Eri eventually. With that in mind, she slid open the door.
Eri was already there sitting in her assigned seat. She was the only one, too. That made sense for her—she usually got up way too early for any normal person.
“Hey, Shiki,” Eri greeted with a big smile.
She was just as peppy as always, unlike Shiki. Setting her bag down on her own desk, Shiki mumbled, “Morning.”
“Listen, Shiki, about what I said yesterday…” Eri fiddled with the string of her ribbon.
This was it, wasn’t it? The continuation of that talk—of how Eri saw how poor Shiki’s designs were. What would she say next? Would she cut Shiki off? Say their dream was a bust? Or maybe—
“I’m sorry.”
Shiki almost fumbled with her chair. She just… what? Her eyes slowly drifted over to Eri, though Eri was too busy watching the floor to return the gesture.
“I know I worded it badly. I shouldn’t have made it seem like you should give up on designing, especially while you were struggling. A good friend would’ve helped you. Listened better. I dunno really—I’m trying to figure this out with you.” Her fingers trembled as she clutched one arm, her go-to smile sinking into a frown. “I didn’t mean to hurt you…”
“Eri…” Shiki slipped down in her chair, relief releasing her legs from the stiffness they’d carried all morning. Plus, seeing Eri now, so scared and anxious… She realized that maybe she wasn’t the only one that hadn’t been sure how to face today. “It’s okay, I know you didn’t.”
That wasn’t exactly true. But she’d pretend it was if it made things better.
“It’s just—you’re so talented at sewing and everything else. I wanted you to see that. I thought it would help…”
“I’m not that good, really. You can find a seamstress anywhere—”
“That’s not true!” Eri said, finally looking up. “You’re way better than anyone else at it. You bring out the best in all my designs. Make them real. Without you, they’re a mess. I wouldn’t trust anyone else with them.”
A…a mess? Eri’s designs?
“T-they’re not…”
“Let’s keep working together, okay? I mean—if you want to…” Eri nervously averted her eyes again. “I get it if you don’t right now, but I can’t do this without you. I wouldn’t want to. You’re the only one who can give life to our clothes…”
Truth be told, Shiki didn’t know what to say. Deep inside, her heart was telling her to be honest with Eri and lay her feelings bare—just like Eri was doing for her now. But doing that would mean admitting that someone as selfish and greedy as her still wanted to try her hand at designing outfits, too.
Just how do you see me now? Don’t you hate me?
No… maybe not. Eri’s perfect, after all. She’s always forgiving others and keeping the peace. I wish I could be more like that… but she beat me to it yet again.
“Y…yeah,” Shiki said, pushing those thoughts aside so she could tap into her nicer feelings. “I think so, too. I know I have things to work on, but I’ll try—I promise. I’m not ready to give up yet…”
Eri’s face suddenly brightened, her smile lighting up the empty classroom. “Yeah! We’ll make the best brand one day for sure—just you watch!”
Her renewed enthusiasm was almost enough to banish the envy harbored in Shiki’s heart.
Almost, but not quite.
I want to get better… I want to be able to create things that make an impression and do right by people. Why can’t I just be like that?
A knock made both girls jump, and they twisted around to see a boy with a clean haircut leaning through the doorway.
“Glad you’re here early, Eri,” the guy said as he approached. “I wanted to talk to you about that problem again.”
“O-oh, right! I told you I’d get back to you today, didn’t I?” Eri scratched her cheek. “I’ve just had a lot going on.”
“Is this the girl?” He walked over, taking a seat at the desk behind Shiki like he belonged to this class. He definitely didn’t, though—he looked like an upperclassman. “Thank you so much for helping us with this! I know Sakuraba’s intimidating, but Eri had a lot of faith that you could get through to him!”
Shiki had too many questions now. “H-hold on, back up—who are you again? And help with what? ”
“S-sorry, I didn’t get a chance to tell you,” Eri spoke up in the guy’s stead. “This is the student council president.”
Oh. The student council…
“Wait what?! B-but why does the student council president want me ?! Aren’t you the secretary there?!”
Eri twirled her hair around her finger as she laughed it off. “Yeah, so we were talking the other day… There’s this student in class 1-A—a first year like us. Apparently his whole class is sick of him. He just glares when anyone tries to talk to him, refuses to join any class activities or clubs… There’s been some pretty nasty rumors spread about him, too, though we haven’t been able to figure out if they’re true or not.”
“A problem student? This isn’t usual for a student council to deal with, is it?”
“Normally, no,” the president said with a heavy sigh. “This is a first for all of us. His teacher came to us for advice on how to get him working with the rest of the class, but nothing’s worked. So we started spitballing other ideas, and Eri here threw your name out as a friendly face to try talking to him.”
“M-my name? Are you sure?”
“You’re Shiki Misaki, aren’t you?”
“Well yeah, but Eri’s the one who everyone gravitates towards. She’d be way better at this than me.”
“Already tried, and he shut me down in a second,” Eri complained. “But that’s why I suggested you instead. You really care about people and notice things I don’t, so I thought hey, if I can’t do it, maybe Shiki can!”
“I-I don’t know about that…”
“Trust me, it’ll all work out!” Eri threw her a grin. “He’s usually late to class, so we’ll try to catch him around lunch time. Then you just have to work your Shiki magic!”
Easy for her to say. But as the student council president smiled and thanked Shiki for helping, she found she couldn’t protest. They were relying on her for something—they even believed she could do this better than Eri. And though she knew that was a selfish reason to go along with this, she wanted to succeed. So then, maybe, she’d be more than just a forgettable face.
Though, something was still odd about this. Just who was this boy anyway that he’d managed to put off his whole class?
For some reason, Shiki’s mind flashed back to the rude fashion fail from yesterday. No—no way it was him. That was too much of a coincidence, wasn’t it?
Yet, when lunch rolled around, Eri led Shiki outside to the most secluded part of the school yard. As soon as they turned the corner around the building, his spiky orange hair came into view.
Shiki froze when she saw him. It was the same guy—but how?! Why?!
“Hey there, Sakuraba!” Eri greeted. “I don’t know if you remember, but we met the other day!”
The boy narrowed a glare up at her, his headphones loud enough that Shiki could hear the music coming out of them. “What do you want?”
“My friend wanted to meet you,” Eri lied in a sweet, innocent singsong voice. “This is Shiki Misaki. Shiki, this is Neku Sakuraba.”
Neku huffed. “Don’t care.”
Well this was already off to a great start.
Unfortunately for him, Shiki wasn’t about to be dissuaded by his attitude. Maybe Eri was right—he just needed someone who was up for being his friend! If Eri was trusting Shiki with this, she had to try something, right?
Shiki glanced over at Eri, who was as bubbly as ever. She always won people over without even breaking a sweat, and she far more fit to play the role of social butterfly in any other circumstance. Maybe if Shiki could channel some of her energy into this, then…
Smiling, Shiki approached Neku. “Neku’s a cute name! You can call me Shiki.”
His eyebrow twitched. Okay, so he didn’t like that.
“What are you listening to?”
He didn’t answer, but messed with the retro MP3 player hanging from his neck to crank the volume up more. Nice to see that he was just as rude as before. All he had to do was talk—even just a little bit—but he was being so annoyingly tight lipped.
Not letting up, Shiki’s attention flickered down to his lunch. “What do you have in those rice balls?”
Still no answer. She waved a hand in front of his face. “Hellooo? Neku? Can you hear me? You awake in there?”
He set his chopsticks down. He turned to her with a face full of scorn and spat, “Can’t you take a hint? I don’t want to talk to you. Stop acting so buddy-buddy with me and just leave me the hell alone already!”
“Hey! Don’t yell at Shiki!” Eri tried cutting in, but he glared at her next.
“You’re the one who barged in on my lunch with this BS. Don’t you and all the little lackies you send have a life? Or do you think you can do whatever just ‘cause you’re the school’s new Miss Goody Two Shoes? Get off your high horse. I don’t want you here—hell, I doubt anyone wants a pair of pretentious clowns bothering them, so do me a favor and shove off.”
Eri could only stare wide-eyed, her hands trembling again. “T-that’s…”
Shiki’s hand curled into a fist. This jerk had taken it too far this time.
“Where do you get off?!” she snapped. “We were trying to be nice and friendly—why’s that such a problem?!”
He spun right back to Shiki, his rice balls falling to the ground as he channeled everything into this verbal assault. “I didn’t ask for you to! You’re the one making problems here!”
“How do you expect to make any friends if you’re so rude all the time?!”
“Who says I want friends? I don’t need anyone—I’d rather everyone just go the hell away.”
“So that’s your solution, then?! Yell at everyone until they hate you?! Well great job on that one—the whole school hates you!”
“Good—maybe they’ll finally stop asking idiot stalkers like you to pretend you give a damn about me!”
“Has it ever occurred to you that people do actually care?!”
“What, like you?! All anyone cares about in this school is their fake-ass popularity score, and you’re no different.”
“That’s not true!”
“Oh yeah? Then who put you up to this?”
“W-well…”
Silence hung in the air as Shiki’s tongue got too tied up to continue.
“See what I mean?” he growled. “You’re just like them. You only came here to look good, like I’m some charity case you have to help. Well screw you—screw all of you! I don’t need your damn help!”
Shiki’s head dipped, her eyes fixating on the fallen rice balls. She couldn’t deny that. She didn’t come here because she cared about him. She came because she cared about herself. She thought back to the student council president. If she had been able to help, maybe she could’ve gotten some recognition, like Eri, instead of the snide comments that often came her way from the petty girls in class. That was why she agreed in the end… and she knew it.
“Just leave me alone already,” Neku mumbled, rolling over on his side towards the wall as he gave up on his lunch. It’d already been claimed by ants anyway. “You’ve already caused enough trouble…”
“Y-yeah,” Shiki whispered, hoping Eri would butt back in. Instead, she found Eri clutching her arm tight, her eyes distant. Shiki couldn’t blame her. She’d never failed to befriend someone before. It must’ve been too much for her. Sighing, Shiki slid her untouched lunch over in front of Neku before standing. “Sorry about your lunch… You can have mine instead. Feel free to keep the box, too.”
Neku blinked, but didn’t move. Guess she’d really screwed this one up. With nothing else to salvage the situation, Shiki hurried over to her friend. “Come on, Eri, let’s go…”
“O…okay…” Eri let Shiki guide her away, rubbing her eyes. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have put you up to that…”
“No, it’s okay. You were just trying to help…”
Eri didn’t look convinced. “I’ll…I’ll tell the council that we failed, so… We’ll leave it up to them to decide what to do. Summer break’s coming up anyway. Let's just enjoy it…”
“Yeah, that sounds good. Maybe we can work on some designs this summer,” Shiki suggested.
“Mm,” was all Eri said. She didn’t say much more—at least, not about Neku or whatever got her so upset. She did perk up as the day went on, focusing all her energy on the friendships she had now…
As if scared she might lose them if she didn’t.
* * * * * * *
A whole twenty-four hours passed and then some. Shiki saw Neku near the entrance when she’d first arrived—it was kinda hard not to notice him now—but she kept to herself as she changed shoes, not sure she was really fit to say anything to him after last time.
And yet, as he closed his shoe locker and turned to head in, Shiki found herself watching him. He looked so tense, but also… so lonely. No one tried to talk to him, instead clearing a path—almost as if his scowl shoved people to the side.
With classes finally ending, Shiki returned to the entrance to retrieve her shoes. There, she saw him again. He was already putting his shoes on as she opened her locker…
…only to find more than just her shoes inside. Her bento box had been stuffed on top of them, now sparkly clean. Well, almost. When Shiki opened it, she found that there was one fresh rice ball inside.
Shiki looked up, but Neku was already gone. Maybe if she was quick, she could catch up to him. She hurried to exchange her shoes and dashed towards the school gate. She searched the crowd for him, and—there. Zeroing in on him, Shiki weaved her way through, running to catch up with him.
“Neku!” She grabbed the back of his shirt before she thought about it.
Neku looked back at her, his sapphire eyes as sharp as always. He didn’t say anything as he studied her with that usual frown.
“Um—thanks, for returning the bento box. You didn’t have to do that.”
Neku shrugged her off, continuing along the sidewalk. “I didn’t want to owe you.”
“Is that why you put a rice ball in there, too?” Shiki asked as she walked alongside him.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it does,” Shiki said. “That was really nice of you, especially after I ruined them yesterday.”
“We’re even, okay? Go home.”
“Right, we’re even, which means we can try again! Which way do you live? Maybe we can talk for a bit!”
Neku didn’t answer her question, but kept walking. Luckily in the direction she needed to go, too. “Couldn’t they have chosen someone less annoying to bug me?”
“I’m not here ‘cause of anyone else today, and you’re right, really—it was wrong of me to come at you like that,” Shiki admitted. “So… I’m sorry about yesterday.”
He stuffed his hands in his pockets, his shoulders tense as he tried walking faster.
Shiki, however, kept up with him, her curiosity getting the better of her. “I do wanna know more about you, honest! Like why do you push everyone away? Why haven’t you joined any clubs? Is there anything you’re interested in?”
“Not when there are people involved.”
“Isn’t it lonely to just avoid people like that?”
“Not really.”
“Come on, everyone cares some about that… Don’t you have any friends?”
Neku stopped so suddenly that Shiki almost tripped as she, too, came to a halt. She almost thought he’d been stabbed in the back with how pained his eyes looked in that moment. Was it that bad to ask him about his friends?
“Um… Sorry,” Shiki said, hugging Mr. Mew close. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
With a ‘tch’, Neku picked up the pace, pushing past her to reach the crosswalk. “Don’t you have Tweedledum to hang out with?”
“You mean Eri? She has student council today.”
“Of course she’s on the council,” he groaned. “Talk about a walking cliché .”
So even he could tell how popular she was. “She redefines the cliché. Eri’s amazing, like a storybook princess. Everyone loves her…”
Neku’s eyes narrowed. “Doubt it. They just like the idea of her. The second she’s gone, they won’t care. They’ll just move on to the next girl in line.”
Shiki tilted her head as she observed him. “Come on, people aren’t that fickle.”
“Why are you friends with her, then?”
Shiki watched the cars pass, her sight blurring with her thoughts. Why, huh? She honestly didn’t know. Eri was so cool, and so much better than her. Everyone knew that. Everyone except Eri.
“Well… She approached me one day.” Shiki held up Mr. Mew. “She saw I was working on this little guy and wanted to know more, so we got to talking—about sewing, then about fashion… and before I knew it, we were working on designing clothes together.”
The pedestrians around them moved, but Neku didn’t. He stared at her in surprise.
“You made that?”
“Well, yeah. I made clothes for both of us, too.”
“Huh…”
Was it just her, or did he seem a little impressed? Her heart started to lift—
—until he said more.
“Why a black pig, anyway?”
“A—what?!”
“The doll. Seems like a weird choice.”
“He’s not a pig! He’s a cat! Mr. Mew the cat!”
“Mr. Mew? ” Neku raised an eyebrow, but unlike before, this one seemed less annoyed.
“Yeah, that’s his name. You got a problem with that?”
“No, just…” He played with his spikes. But hey, this was good! They were finally connecting on something, even if he was still being a brat about it.
Suddenly, his embarrassed look shifted into a sulk. “Looks like we missed the light.”
“Wait—we did?!”
Shiki looked up, only to see it blink to ‘don’t walk.’ “I totally missed it. I just got so caught up talking…”
“Yeah, your pig’s pretty distracting like that,” Neku quipped.
Mr. Mew was? Or was he actually interested in talking to her?
A small smile formed on Shiki’s face. “Hey, since we missed it anyway, how about a little detour? There’s a café pretty close to here I’ve been wanting to try.”
“No thanks.”
“Come on, please? My treat—and I’ll show you something else cool!”
His glanced over at her. “You got another pig hiding in there?”
Shiki giggled, taking his hand to pull him along. “No, just come on! It’s only a few blocks away.”
“H-hey—I just said…” He yanked his hand away from her, using it to rub the back of his head instead. Then, with a sigh and a shrug, he followed her. “This better be worth it.”
“It will be, trust me.” Shiki’s stride quickened, her sights set on Cat Street. She couldn’t really believe she had Neku Sakuraba of all people following her along on this, but surely weirder things have happened. Besides, at least this time it was on her terms, and not because someone had asked her to. And truth be told, after seeing him let just a little bit of his guard come down, Shiki was curious to know more about this mysterious boy.
The café in question was easy to spot, sitting right where the road split with tables and chairs decorating the outside. Inside was rather cozy, too, with bright red seats adding a splash of color against the brown walls. The purple pastry case had plenty of goodies on display, from muffin sets to flaky croissants.
“So this is WildKat,” Shiki mused quietly to Neku. “Everyone’s said it’s closed all the time, so we must’ve gotten lucky!”
“I guess?” He studied the middle-aged barista behind the counter, who greeted the two with a warm, welcoming smile.
“Hey, welcome in! What can I do ya for?”
“Do you have matcha?” Shiki asked.
“Sure, I can whip that up. And for you, Phones?”
An annoyed grumble came from Neku about the nickname as he crossed his arms over his chest. “House blend.”
“Anything to eat?”
“I’m good. What about you, Neku?”
“Dunno.”
“Mm… Well what about the donuts? We can split one!”
“Split one?!”
“Alright, so! One matcha, one house blend, and a donut!”
The man chuckled as he rang it up. “Sure, I gotcha. That’ll come out to…”
Shiki eagerly paid while Neku stood back, staring at her as if he couldn’t even comprehend what was happening to him anymore. With the order placed, the barista stepped back to get started making it.
“Comin’ right up. Feel free to sit wherever.”
Shiki nodded, looking back at Neku. “Go ahead and sit. I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick.”
“O…okay?” He still looked lost—almost like a stray cat, really. It was… weirdly cute.
Shiki sat Mr. Mew on the counter like he could watch over Neku in her stead. “I’ll be right back, so keep Neku company for me,” she told him. Not that he could respond, but it still made her feel better. So, with her bag over her shoulder, Shiki hurried to the bathroom to change.
Shiki was lucky she’d finished this outfit between classes today. If she hadn’t, she would’ve been embarrassed showing it off. But if he was interested in her sewing, maybe he’d like this, too.
…On second thought, would he like it? This wasn’t one of Eri’s designs, rather one of her own that she’d scrounged together. It probably wouldn’t strike the average person as “unique” with its simple black shirt and leggings. Only the beige patterned skirt and green cardigan stood out.
But she’d already promised to show him something, and not like she had much else. Out of any other options at this point, she changed from her school clothes into the outfit she’d made, from putting ideas on paper to stitching the fabric. It fit her to a T, and she stared at the ensemble for a moment in the mirror.
If she saw this on someone else, what would she think of them? It was minimal, yet effective. Classic, yet warm… and the skirt added a touch of elegance that she personally liked.
Yeah, this’d be fine! Eri always said that sometimes simple was better. Though… maybe she should take the cardigan off?
No, she couldn’t overthink it. She folded up her school uniform, then stuffed it into her bag. She then headed back out into the café.
Neku had made himself at home by the counter, illuminated by the steam wafting off their warm drinks. The barista polished a cup as he chatted about one thing or another—though Neku looked like a fish out of water listening to him.
“Well, look who’s back,” the barista said, nodding over to Shiki. “Seems your friend found something nice to wear.”
“She’s not my friend,” Neku snapped, but he looked anyway as Shiki walked over.
“S-so, um… What do you think?” Shiki asked, brushing her short hair behind her ear. “It’s one I designed…”
“You did?”
“Y-yeah. I know it’s not that special, but…”
“The hell are you talking about?” Neku raised an eyebrow. “I would’ve thought you bought it. You sure you’re going to my high school?”
His tone was teasing and not exactly rude. It was relieving, in a way. Shiki slipped into the seat next to him, finding it surprisingly easy to just be her full, unapologetic self around him. “You never know—I could be a secret sewing agent out to get the latest teenage fashion,” she joked as she placed the bento box in front of her.
“Then why are you hanging out with me? I don’t give a damn about fashion.”
“Yeah, I kinda gathered that when I saw your Jupiter outfit the other day.”
“Hold on, what are you talking about?”
“You don’t remember?”
“No? I’ve only seen you at school.”
Huh, so he didn’t really notice her back then. She knew she shouldn’t be surprised with how plain she looked.
“Guess it’s my secret, then.” She opened up the bento box, showing the single rice ball again. “I’m excited to finally try this! You never did say what was in it.”
“It’s nothing that big,” Neku mumbled.
“Sure it is! It’s like an exclusive peek into your mystery world—I get to know what you like now. Do you eat this every day?”
“No… Just depends on what I have at home to cook with.”
Er—wait.
“You made this?!” Shiki burst out, barely noticing as the barista threw them a smirk.
“Yeah. I usually make my own lunch. I had extras today, so I just threw one in your box, too.”
And he didn’t realize how that looked?! Eri would be having a field day with this right now if she heard. Shiki’s face must’ve turned a few shades of red as her gaze made its way back down to the innocent rice ball.
Though that only made her more curious. They were actually talking now, so it wasn’t weird for her to try his cooking! Right? Right. Totally okay.
She lifted it up, taking a bite. It was smooth and savory inside, the rice blending nicely with the tuna mayo filling. Though common enough, it was way better than any store bought brand Shiki had tried before.
“Wow… You’re really good at this, Neku!”
“I just kinda threw it together,” he mumbled. “Not like I was sewing an outfit…”
Shiki blinked. Was he trying to compliment her? He had such a roundabout way of doing it, but that was also kinda cute.
“H-here.” He pushed half a donut over to her, sloppily cut down what might’ve been the middle. “This half’s yours.”
He had another sitting on his own napkin, a few bites already missing from it.
“Thanks, Neku…”
He shrugged. “You’re the one who bought it.”
“Yeah, but you came to hang out with me. We should do this more!”
“Don’t count on it. I just had nothing better to do today.”
“Soo… do you have anything better to do tomorrow?”
“Maybe.”
“That’s not a yes. Meaning we can hang out again!”
“I never said…” He grumbled, rubbing the back of his head. “Look, I don’t want to be your friend. Tomorrow it’ll be like we never met, got it? You’ve done what the student council asked, so you can go show off to them or whatever.”
Right, he didn’t trust her still, so it was no wonder he thought she was still doing the student council’s errands.
“They really didn’t ask me to hang out with you today,” Shiki said. “I followed you ‘cause I wanted to—to thank you for this.” She tapped her bento box.
“Fine, whatever. Either way, you don’t have anything to bug me about tomorrow, so this is it.”
“What if I bring you some gyoza tomorrow?”
That caught Neku off-guard again. “What?”
Shiki giggled. “You said you make different rice balls depending on what you have, right? So I wanna try the next mystery one. I’ll trade you a gyoza for it—like a little food swap!”
Finishing his coffee, Neku stood up. “You’re out of your mind… I’m going home.”
“Aww, please? It’ll be fun!”
Neku stuffed the rest of the donut in his mouth to keep it busy as he headed for the door, leaving Shiki scrambling to follow him.
“Well, I’ll bring it tomorrow anyway, so you can decide then whether we do a swap or not. Deal?”
“Only if you find me tomorrow,” he muttered.
Heheh, that’s what Shiki would call a success! Their deal was flimsy, but he was at least willing to give it a chance. His ‘maybe’ hadn’t been a hard denial, either!
As Shiki exited back out into the sun, it almost felt like the clouds had cleared inside her mind. Who would’ve thought Neku Sakuraba would be her silver lining? He was a challenge, sure. But right now, a challenge could be just what she needed.
* * * * * * *
Day after day passed, and Shiki made finding Neku part of her routine. He didn’t make it easy for her. He changed where he ate lunch every day, as if he was trying to lose her. And each time, Shiki sought him out, even when he called her a stalker for it.
Eri wasn’t quite ready to give it another go with him, but she was still supportive. She even encouraged Shiki to go eat lunch with him, saying they’d hang out between classes, assuring her that it was okay…
But something still felt off. Like a deep haze had begun to take hold in the classroom, born from the whispers she still couldn’t make out.
The sixth day of knowing Neku came—including the first attempt she and Eri had made. This time, Shiki heard that he was eating lunch up on the roof thanks to some classmates pointing him out. But even as she left the crowds behind, those whispers somehow still managed to weigh on her as she ascended the stairs, exiting out into the breezy sunlit afternoon.
Neku sat there, his box open, but untouched.
“Found you,” Shiki said as she sat down next to him. He actually perked up a bit, watching as she exchanged one of her gyoza for today’s mystery rice ball without even asking. After three days of his quiet nods, she felt comfortable assuming he was fine with it.
“Let’s eat, then.” Neku split his chopsticks, then started on his food. They ate in silence for a minute as Shiki racked her brain on what topic to bring up today. The first two days of this had been more of her rambling about her own interests, but she’d finally heard about his interest in music and graffiti yesterday. If she could just get him to expand on that, she could learn more!
“You said you like the artist CAT, right? I looked into their stuff yesterday after school and it’s pretty cool!”
Neku immediately lit up. “ Pretty cool? I think you mean pretty awesome. CAT’s the best. He doesn’t just make art—he is art! The way he blends colors and themes… You feel it with your whole soul, you know?”
Shiki watched as he continued rambling about it, almost like that one simple topic had opened a new side of him she hadn’t seen before. It was nice, though—seeing him like this… The sound of his voice was as gentle as the wind that embraced them, a far cry from the curt boy she’d first met.
“I’d like to see it sometime.”
Neku paused, his chopsticks tapping against the side of his bento box.
“Haven’t you been to Udagawa…?”
“No, not in a while.”
“You should go sometime. Like… maybe after school. If you’re not walking with that girl…”
Was he telling her to go or inviting her along with him? She couldn’t tell, but his awkward, scrunched up eyebrows told her it might be the latter.
Shiki leaned back against the fence with a grin. “Eri has another club today… As long as I’m back by the time she’s done, we should be good. She’s coming home with me after everything to work more on our designs!”
“Sure, that’s fine. Udagawa’s pretty close to where I live anyway. We’ll just pop by for a sec.”
“Sounds good to me! Thanks for inviting me.”
His cheeks turned slightly pink, but he didn’t deny it. “You just seemed interested… It’s no big deal.” He blinked as he noticed something. “Hey, where’s your pig today?”
“He’s right here—” Shiki reached next to herself, but Mr. Mew wasn’t there. “O-oh, I must’ve left him back in the classroom.”
And that was when a bad feeling crept up on Shiki.
Neku noticed, too. “Something wrong? You look pale.”
“N-no, I just… I never leave him like that. I should probably go get him…”
She quickly packed her lunch up, but she wasn’t the only one. Neku, too, packed up and stood to follow her inside. They hurried to the classroom as the whispers grew yet again, surrounding both of them with sinister stares.
“See? I told you! Misaki’s hanging out with Sakuraba.”
“No way. Is she really blowing Eri off for that guy? Ugh, she’s such a fake.”
“I heard she and Eri got in an argument last week, and then she started this whole thing with Sakuraba…”
“They deserve each other. She’s probably just as vicious as he is deep down. That nice girl thing was all an act.”
“Yeah, Eri deserves better than her!”
Shiki could feel all their eyes on her as she hurried through the hall. But none of them hurt as much as Neku’s as he watched without a word, his thoughts locked far away from her. What would he think of her? Would he agree with them? He thought Eri put her up to all of this, after all—and she kinda did initially…
They finally reached Shiki’s classroom.
“She abandoned you, Eri. For what, some jerk?” they heard one of the girls saying. “She never eats lunch with you anymore!”
Eri didn’t notice as Shiki and Neku stood in the door. She held Mr. Mew tight in her arms, two of their classmates talking to her.
“We’re here for you, though… We won’t leave you like Shiki did.”
Eri gripped the doll so tight, she threatened to rip his seams, her voice falling short.
Eri… was all of this just a lie? Was she mad that Shiki never ate with her anymore? Or…
“Yeah! We’ll make the best brand one day for sure—just you watch!”
Was that a lie, too?
That’s when Eri spoke again.
“I… Shiki’s, well…”
Shiki couldn’t take it. She bolted before anyone could stop her. She could’ve sworn she heard Neku and Eri both call out her name—though that had to be just her imagination, right?
Her arm lurched back, her hand captured by something warm. She turned to find Neku behind her, his face actually showing sympathy for her. But…but why? Why was he…
Something wet fell off her cheek. Oh… That’s why.
“D-don’t look at me,” Shiki whispered as her free hand flew to her face, trying to stop the tears. But she couldn’t.
“That girl’s the one you do your designing with, isn’t she?”
“Y-yeah, but… I mean, you saw her back there—she’s popular, and likable, a-and…”
Neku frowned, his hand twitching against Shiki’s.
“I don’t know why she’s friends with me,” Shiki admitted. “I’m nothing compared to her—and she has to know that, too, deep down…”
“The hell are you talking about?”
“You’ve seen her. She’s pretty, and cute… and she’s super smart, too. She’s always top of the class on everything, has tons of design sense, and people can’t help but fawn over her. She’s got so much energy all the time, and she’s everything everyone wants to be, really. And I’m just… not. I’m none of those things…”
I wish I was… I wish so much that I was just… her…
“…So?”
Shiki looked up at Neku, confused by his question.
“Who cares if you’re none of that? You’re not her. You’ll never be her. You’ll only ever be you.”
“B-but… but she’s so much better—”
“Screw that. She’s not the one who decided to be my friend after I acted like an ass and yelled at you guys. That was all you.”
“Only because you left me something…”
“You still followed me and made an effort to get to know me…” Neku lowered his head. “I never even apologized for how I treated you. So, well… sorry…”
Shiki’s heart skipped a beat, suddenly realizing that he still held her hand. “N-Neku…”
He gripped tighter, as if she might disappear if he let go. “I don’t think she hates you, you know.”
Nice as that was, it didn’t ease Shiki’s worries. “I…I know she doesn’t…”
“Then is it because of those rumors? Should I… not be hanging out with you like this?”
“N-no! No, that’s definitely not it…” Shiki squeezed his hand back. “Eri told me it was fine—if I spent lunch with you, and to invite her when you were ready for it…”
“Sounds like she’s trusting you with it…”
“Y-yeah, maybe…”
“Then why do you think you’re nothing?”
“Because…”
How could Shiki put it into words? That she wanted to be as liked as Eri… as nice and popular as Eri. If Neku didn’t understand it from what she’d said before, how could she say it now?
When Shiki didn’t answer, Neku’s fingers twitched as he summoned his voice again, pushing past all the awkwardness that otherwise made him stiff.
“I don’t think you’re nothing… I think you’re fine just the way you are.”
Shiki stared up at him, her heart beating faster now. “You…you do? But…”
“But what? You’re not her—and you shouldn’t be her,” Neku said. “You’re Shiki. That’s enough.”
He… he really said it. Her name…
“And you’re the only one weird enough to make stuffed piggies.”
“He’s a cat…”
Despite saying that, his dumb statement got a tiny smile out of the corner of her mouth. She leaned against his shoulder as her strength gave out. “Thanks…”
“Y-yeah,” he mumbled, his own heart loudly pounding in his chest. Shiki blushed as she realized how this must’ve looked, pushing back off him.
“S-sorry—we should, um, I should—go see Eri…”
“I’ll come with,” he offered, letting go of her hand to instead pull his out of season scarf up to hide his squirming mouth.
“R-right, thanks…”
Shiki headed back to class, Neku following behind. But when they got there, they didn’t see any sign of the redhead.
“Eri?” Shiki looked each way inside, then back out in the hallway. There was no sign of her anywhere. Instead, those girls were propped on their desks again, annoyed.
“Just go hang out with Sakuraba,” one spat. “And leave Eri alone.”
“Ignore them,” Neku said as he started walking. “Come on, we’ll find her.”
Shiki nodded, following Neku as the hallway thinned out. More and more people were returning to class, but they didn’t really care about that anymore. Finding Eri was way more important.
The bell rang, and Neku pulled Shiki outside before a teacher spotted them. They hid in the bushes as the door closed behind them, then opened, the teacher poking his head out. Shiki closed her eyes, hoping he wouldn’t see Neku’s hair…
And somehow, he didn’t. The teacher went back inside, none the wiser to the two skipping class.
“That was close,” Shiki whispered. “What do we do now, though?”
Neku slipped his headphones off. “You hear that?”
“Hear what?”
Shiki stopped, focusing all her senses on listening. Soon enough, she heard Eri’s sniffles.
“I screwed up again, huh? I can never say the right thing when it matters…”
Neku slowly stood, beckoning Shiki to follow him even as the leaves clung to his hair. They crept through the school yard, following the sound of Eri’s voice over to a tree.
She slumped against it with her back to them. Mr. Mew rested on her knees as she brushed him off, talking to the doll like he was alive.
“You’re lucky, Mr. Mew… Your creator’s amazing. She’s so skilled, and nice… She never gives up on people, just like she never gave up on Neku. She’s way better than me.”
Shiki’s eyes widened as she listened, Eri’s words stealing the air right out of her.
“I know I should trust that—I shouldn’t be scared like this… but she’s just so genuine, you know? When so many people aren’t… I just don’t want to lose her friendship. I don’t want to be one of those people to her…”
“E…Eri…”
Eri flinched when she heard Shiki’s voice. Both Shiki and Neku approached, the wind billowing between them for a good long moment.
“O-oh, Shiki!” She replaced her fears with a smile as she stood. “Sorry—guess class has started—”
Shiki rushed over, pulling Eri into a hug.
“S-Shiki?”
Neither knew what to say at first. There was so much they both felt, yet neither of them knew how to really get those feelings across. But… maybe the time to figure that out was now.
“I think… you’re amazing, too. And I’m glad we’re best friends… I’d never give that up.”
“R…really?” Eri averted her eyes as Shiki pulled away. “I know I wasn’t able to help much with the Neku thing…”
“You helped a ton, actually—just by being there and supporting me. It means a lot.”
Eri rested her chin on Mr. Mew. “Mm, of course. I’m glad you ended up hitting it off with him! I kinda knew you would. You’re way better at making connections than I am.”
“I don’t know about that. You have so many friends…”
“Sure, but I don’t really know them the way you know your friends. There’s just something about the way you make deeper connections with people. You listen and care, and I admire that so much.”
“Eri…”
Eri offered Mr. Mew back to his owner. “Sorry for running off with him. I didn’t want to leave him with those girls.”
“Thanks for protecting him,” Shiki said with a little laugh.
And I’m sorry for doubting you…
“No problem!” Eri looked from Shiki to Neku, a sly smile curling her lips. “Soooo… are you gonna introduce me to the new Neku Sakuraba?”
Neku scoffed. “I’m still the same guy.”
“Could’ve had me fooled! Rumor is that you two are secretly dating.” She leaned forward. “Is it true?”
“Wha—?!” Shiki and Neku both turned bright pink. “W-we’re not!”
“Wow, you even said it in unison.”
“Eri—no, really!” Shiki protested, waving her hands. “W-we’ve just been hanging out some! Like, we exchange lunches—but only parts of our lunches! Plus I mean, we’re still learning a lot about each other! We haven’t even known each other a full week yet!”
A small ‘pff’ drew Shiki’s attention back to Neku. He tried to hide his smile behind his hand, but he couldn’t—not really.
“What? This funny to you, mister?”
“Maybe a bit,” he replied. “You’re a mess.”
“Oh shut up! It’s your fault, you know!”
“How’s it my fault?”
“Because, it just is!”
“Whatever. I’m not going down for that one. This is all you.”
“Is not!”
Despite their bickering, all three of them couldn’t help but laugh it off.
“So I guess you two really are friends now, huh?” Eri asked.
Shiki paused, looking from Eri to Neku. It was such a simple thing to ask, and yet… she hadn't voiced it over the past few days. Maybe she was scared of what he’d say.
But she couldn’t deny that her beating heart yearned to know him more and more—and maybe, he was starting to feel that, too. She had to believe in the bond they’d created.
Though, she was still going to make him answer.
“Well, what do you think, Neku?” she asked. “Are we friends now?”
His sapphire eyes met hers, only instead of the cold chill she’d first seen, they were now surprisingly warm. Kind… And staring in them, she knew she could trust him with anything.
“I’ll think about it.”