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When Megumi awoke, his eyes instantly sought out a familiar head of pink hair and a uniform with a red hood peeking through. There was no Yuji in his eyesight and instead his vision focused on Shoko who turned to look over at him as he pushed himself up to sit.
“Slow, Fushiguro-kun.” She warned him.
“Where’s Yuji?” Those were the first words out of his mouth, and they came out hoarse as he cleared his throat, coughing into the crook of his elbow. “Is he okay?”
“Drink this and I’ll tell you what I know,” Shoko said, handing over a glass of water and that instantly set off alarm bells in his head, but he took it and downed the cool water, letting it soothe his throat. “I don’t know much though.” She warned.
“I don’t care, tell me anything you know.” He said, putting the glass down on the small table beside his bed, and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“I know he was possessed by Sukuna at some point during the chaos that ensued during Shibuya, I don’t fully know how, but it looks like he was forced to swallow a large number of fingers, and no one can keep control after that.” Shoko sighed, leaning against the wall and rubbing the bridge of her nose. Megumi noticed the dark eyes under her eyes seemed even darker, and the smell of smoke lingered on her body.
“He’s got his body back now, I’m sure, but we haven’t seen or heard from him since the chaos calmed a little,” She continued. “I don’t know how hurt he is, I don’t know how he is at all, physically or mentally but I can’t imagine it’s good. Todo-kun is here and he told us about the battle him and Itadori-kun fought against Mahito. From what I can garner he saw Kugisaki-san almost die in front of him and it’s very possible he still thinks he’s dead. We found Nanami-san’s body as well, so he might have seen that happen too.”
“Shit.” Megumi muttered.
“So we don’t know where he is, but it’s almost certain he isn’t doing well.” Shoko sighed.
“I’m going to go find him.” Megumi swung his legs over the side of the bed, reaching down for his shoes and starting to pull them on.
“Fushiguro-kun, it’s not safe in Shibuya. You’re only just recovered. Okkotsu-kun is coming back from his rounds soon, wait for him to go with you.”
Oh, Yuta was back, Megumi realised. But that didn’t matter, not now.
“I can’t wait. If it’s not safe for me then it’s not safe for him either. He’s all alone and gods know how hurt he is, and he’s not in any state mentally to be fighting. He needs me, Ieiri-san. I’m going, with or without your permission.” Megumi said, finishing up the laces on his second shoe and standing.
“Be safe,” She said after a hesitant pause. “We’ve lost enough people.”
“I know.” Megumi said. I know, he thought. He knew Gojo was gone and if he started thinking about that right now, he wouldn’t be able to stop. The time to mourn would come later, after they regrouped, after he made sure Yuji was okay. Not now.
Sgoko was right when she said Shibuya wasn’t safe, nor was it pleasant. If any place could be labelled hell on earth right now, Megumi could confidently say Shibuya was a very strong contender for a title such as that one. As he traversed the streets around their makeshift shelter, he saw cursed spirits and transfigured humans everywhere, preying on anything they laid their eyes on. There were blood splatters from humans unfortunate enough to cross their paths everywhere. Megumi couldn’t look somewhere without seeing red.
He dispatched a cursed spirit or two as he ran, the cracked streets almost making him stumble as he struggled to cover as much area as he could as fast as possible. He had no idea where to even begin looking for Yuji, but maybe summoning Nue would be a good start, the bird could get a better look at Shibuya from above.
“Nue.” Megumi muttered as he formed the hand sign.
The brilliant red bird appeared above him and screeched, flying up into the air as Megumi continued running through the streets, his chest heaving as he did. It was maybe another fifteen minutes of mindlessly running around with no success before Nue swept down and screeched once more, urging Megumi to follow and the dark-haired boy did.
Nue was a blessing because now Megumi could see that familiar head of pink hair in the distance, the head of hair that belonged to Itadori Yuji, a boy who was slumped against a wall with his head hung. “Yuji.” Megumi breathed out, his voice light with relief as he rushed over, almost stumbling over himself in his haste.
Yuji appeared to hear the footsteps approaching because he lifted his head and Megumi stopped, eyes widening in horror as they traced over Yuji’s face. There was blood splattered over it and a deep cut cutting through the middle. His eyes lacked all the warmth and light they usually carried, looking blank and lifeless now and he saw the moment Yuji recognised Megumi because they widened in recognition and he pushed himself away, lifting his hands up as if to ward Megumi away.
His hands, oh his hands. The nails were practically gone from what Megumi could see and the tips of all his fingers were bleeding and the skin torn while the rest was peppered with cuts and blooming bruises. His knuckles were bleeding as well, and the sleeves of his uniform torn. He was covered in blood almost everywhere and Megumi didn’t know how much of it was his.
“Itadori.” Megumi said, stepping closer but Yuji tried to push even further away.
“No, no, stay away, I’m – I’m dangerous,” Yuji spoke, and Megumi almost winced at how hoarse his voice was, as if he had screamed for hours. “Don’t come any closer.” Yuji’s voice softened but he was still wary.
“You’re not dangerous.” Megumi shook his head.
“No, no I am,” Yuji insisted. “I hurt so many people, Fushiguro. So many. And – and I could hurt you too. I don’t want to, but I could and the fact that I could scares me so bad so please – please stay away. Don’t make me watch you die.” He was practically begging. It frightened Megumi, he had never seen the pink haired boy like this.
Yuji always seemed like some untouchable force, strong and always smiling, booming laughter surrounding him. He was so warm and comforting but now? Now he was just a scared boy, curled up around himself and keeping everyone away. He was hurt and he was still worried about hurting Megumi. He was still bleeding but he wasn’t the slightest bit concerned about that.
“Itadori, Ieiri-san told me what happened with Sukuna,” He saw the full-body flinch and decided to refrain from using that name. “She told me they fed you a lot of fingers, and she said no one would have been able to stay in control after that.”
“But I’m not just anyone!” Yuji raised his voice, and Megumi heard it shake, saw Yuji’s hands tremble and his lip quiver. “I’m – this is my job; this is why I’m even alive! I –” He laughed in disbelief, a hysterical thing bursting from his bleeding lips. “It’s my job, this is why the higher ups agreed to let me live, because I was supposed to keep him under control, and I failed. I failed and so many people died.”
“Don’t you understand what I’m saying?” Megumi yelled. “Anyone would have failed in your position. It’s not a you exclusive thing, Itadori. Hell, if it was Gojo he would have failed. This isn’t on you!”
“You don’t get it,” Yuji mumbled desperately, as a last ditch effort of an argument. “It’s not just that, I didn’t do my job as a jujutsu sorcerer either. If I had, Nanamin would have been alive, Kugisaki would have been alive, and Todo wouldn’t have lost his hand.”
“I don’t know what happened with Nanami-san, but he’s a grade one sorcerer and way more skilled and experienced than you. if he couldn’t save himself, there was no way you could have saved him,” Megumi deadpanned. “That isn’t on you. Todo knew the risks going into battle, what’s important is he’s alive. And Kugisaki… she’s not dead.”
That got Yuji’s attention, his eyes widened a little more but this time with a glint of hope flickering in them. “What?”
“She’s not awake but… Ieiri-san is doing her best. She’s not dead yet though,” Megumi sighed. “Please, come back with me. You’re hurt, you’re tired and you need to rest. None of this was your fault, the blame lies with those curses and the imposter in Geto’s body.”
“But –”
Megumi had had enough. He stepped forward, practically lunging and fell to his knees in front of Yuji who made a sound of surprise, trying to push away but Megumi took Yuji’s face in both of his hands, uncaring of the blood he was getting on his hands. “Please, come back. Let me take care of you. You need to rest. You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders all the time.”
“But if I don’t do it, who will?” Yuji asked weakly, leaning into the warmth of Megumi’s hands.
“Let us all carry it with you. Let me carry it with you,” Megumi pleaded, brushing his thumbs over Yuji’s cheekbones and bringing their heads together to touch his forehead to Yuji’s. “You’re not alone.”
“Felt like it.” Yuji laughed but it was a choked broken laugh, verging on a sob.
“Not anymore.”
“Nanamin’s dead,” Yuji said, almost as if he was admitting it for the first time. “He – he died in front of me, Megumi. Mahito – he… he –” Yuji couldn’t get the words out of his mouth.
“You don’t have to say it.” Megumi murmured.
“I watched him die,” Yuji said, blinking his eyes rapidly before the tears began to well up in them and spill down his cheeks, cutting paths through the blood and dirt. He screwed his eyes shut and gasped for breath as sobs wracked his body. “I watched him die.”
Megumi said nothing, simply held him, maneuvering Yuji’s head to the crook of his neck and cradling the back of his head protectively with one hand, running his fingers through the hair at the base of his skull. He would stay here forever if it meant being there for Yuji, if it meant Yuji would have someone to lean on instead of shouldering everything on his own, slowly buckling under the weight.
He would stay here, holding Yuji, for as long as Yuji needed him too, and then some more.