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The choir sang and the ceremony music played as the two brides made their way to the altar with both family and close friends witnessing a key moment in both of the brides’ lives. Thomas, having witnessed their romance from the first time they met, could not be happier for both of them as he watched Harriet and Sonya being all smiles throughout the ceremony.
Harriet is Thomas’ cousin and she is the daughter of Thomas’ mother’s youngest brother, both of them being part of a royal bloodline. However, Thomas was the heir to the crown, being the direct descendant of the current king and queen, while Harriet’s family was a little further away and Thomas might be a little envious about the fact that she had more freedom and even got herself a bride she genuinely loves, but his happiness for her outweighed any bits of jealousy he felt towards her.
“I do.”
After the two brides exchanged their vows, Thomas could not help but tear up a little. Since he had always been close to Harriet since they were little kids, she confided in him when she first developed feelings for Sonya, a circus performer known for her talents in singing and acrobatics. It was a couple of years ago and Sonya’s circus crew had just started rising in popularity. Around three months after that, the circus became a traveling circus, having to go to perform in various places instead of simply staying inside the kingdom. Harriet and Sonya resorted to exchanging letters and despite the distance, they grew closer and closer until Harriet had decided to take a leap of faith and proposed to Sonya. Harriet had apparently traveled far just to surprise Sonya and propose to her. The latter did not hesitate to say yes.
The rest of their family were a little surprised when Harriet introduced Sonya to them and announced the engagement because their class difference was traditionally frowned upon (even though Thomas' family tried their best to be progressive, their learned biases were still present at times). Sonya was a commoner and their family tended to be wary. But the former had always been a real charmer and her kindness and amazing talents did not hurt in appealing to Harriet's family at all. Thomas had actually approved of her from their first meeting. He thought she was pretty cool and likable and they got along pretty well. There was just one problem with Sonya – her brother.
Thomas’ gaze wandered from the two brides in front and towards Sonya’s brother, Newt, who was seated on the other side of the venue and was a couple of rows ahead from Thomas. His blonde hair was a couple of inches longer compared to when Thomas had last seen him and despite the obvious effort to put some hair product in it, multiple strands of his hair refused to stay in place. Still, Thomas thought that the untamed hair suited him more since it reflected Newt's charm —
Okay, where did that thought come from? There is nothing charming about that asshole.
As if noticing that he was being stared at, Newt turned his head to look at Thomas' direction. When their gazes met, Newt smirked before throwing him a wink. Now, Thomas was certain he was not interested in the guy but there was no harm in playing along (like he would often do with Newt) so he winked back and a wide grin appeared on his lips as Newt stuck his tongue out playfully before turning his attention back to the front. Thomas tried to keep a nonchalant expression as he too did the same.
That there was Newt’s main problem – he flirted with Thomas… but not really. The ambiguity was driving Thomas mad, making his initial attraction to the guy (‘which was barely there’, Thomas would insist on Harriet and the latter would roll her eyes and smile knowingly, ‘Sure, Tommy’ He only likes the nickname from him because Newt says it differently! But Thomas did not say that thought out loud) turn into some odd form of hatred.
They met a couple of years ago when the circus got invited to perform for an event arranged by the castle. Newt had instantly caught Thomas’ attention not because of his good looks, but rather it was difficult to miss the fire acrobat of the circus who amazed everyone with his routine involving a showcase of his gymnastics (people were surprised that he could do all those with a prosthetic leg), flexibility, and of course, his great ability to play around with fire. After the performance, Thomas had a chance to mingle with the performers and so he approached Newt, wanting to get acquainted (and certainly not because the fire during his performance illuminated his face in such a beautiful way that would forever be imprinted in Thomas’ mind and would always be featured every time he dreamt, nope).
“Your highness. It’s such an honor to have performed for this kingdom.” Those were one of the first things Newt said to him, a hint of coyness in his smile.
“It is our pleasure. I bet in the near future, your crew will be occupied traveling the world and it will be difficult to fit us in your schedule.”
“That might just be true. We already had our first invite from another country for next month.” Newt said. For a second, his smile turned genuine – a proud smile that Thomas thought really suited him. Then, he went back to his coy facade. “But no matter how busy we are, I don’t mind dropping everything if your highness wants me back here.”
Afterwards, they kept each other company for the whole duration of the party. They might have (or might not have, Thomas would neither confirm nor deny) made out under the stars after they sneaked out of the ball that night, ending up somewhere on top of the clocktower where they enjoyed each other's company for a few hours, the rest of the world disappearing from both of their hazy minds.
Thomas shook his head as he snapped out of the flashback that his mind vividly recounted for him. When he looked around, the ceremony had finished and everyone was being escorted towards the dining area. Thomas tried not to meet anyone’s eyes in order to avoid small talk, which did not help in taking his mind off the thing that he did not want to think about.
It had been two years since that fateful night happened and other than that night, Newt showed no indication that he was genuinely interested in Thomas. Sure, he would flirt playfully and Thomas would do it back but it was mostly because Newt enjoyed messing around with Thomas while Thomas was too prideful to back down from any challenge. Newt never showed genuine interest outside of that. Thomas knew it was not real because he saw how Newt treated everyone else with the same playfulness (‘It’s part of my image and I enjoy flirting with people. They enjoy it too so why not?’ Newt reasoned when Thomas drunkenly asked him why he was such a ‘manipulative manwhore’ — Newt laughed way too long at the term he used but he still indulged drunk Thomas by answering properly and entertaining his follow up questions).
Not like Thomas cared because he did not find Newt attractive at all. Sure, he was interested during that night at the party but he was nowhere near sober back then and Newt was really really drunk and drunk Newt was sweet and very huggable while sober Newt had always been prideful, coy, and a major flirt. Newt had also never mentioned anything related to that night so Thomas simply assumed that he did not remember so there was no point in making a big deal about it.
“What’s troubling you, your highness? Anything you want to get off your chest?” The familiar charming voice caught Thomas’ attention. The latter had just finished dancing with one of Harriet’s close friends and was on his way to get a glass of wine. He stopped in his tracks to look at Newt, who was coincidentally handing him a glass of wine.
“Nothing’s troubling me at all. The ceremony was pleasant.” Thomas said, keeping his smile friendly as he accepted the wine and took a sip from it.
“Good to know. Lizzy had been worried for months that it’s going to end up as a disaster.” Newt replied, rolling his eyes fondly. He took a sip from his own glass of wine after he finished speaking.
“Harriet as well.” Thomas shrugged. “She micromanaged everything about the planning just so she could prepare for anything that could go wrong.”
“That does sound like something she would do.” Newt chuckled and Thomas pretended to be unaffected to hear a genuine one. “I will have to mingle with the other guests in a bit so I can’t talk to you for long.”
“That’s fine. You don’t have to worry about me.” Thomas said. There really was no need for Newt to keep him company because as the crown prince, several people would be willing to keep him occupied.
“That’s not it.” Newt wrinkled his nose as he shook his head, an expression he would always do whenever he was saying something and Thomas would not get it. He never clarified what he meant though and Thomas did not know what he was supposed to ask to make it clearer for him. Newt hesitated for a second before speaking, his signature coy expression reappearing, “Before I forget, the last performance of our circus will be tonight. It will be an honor for us if you can grace us with your presence, your highness.”
“That’s a late notice.” Thomas said, keeping his voice neutral.
“If you already have prior commitment, then I apologize. I’ve been busy with helping Sonya in her wedding and the rest of the crew knew that I wanted to personally invite you.” A part of Thomas wanted to get excited about being ‘personally invited’ by Newt but he quickly nipped that feeling in the bud.
“Oh, personally invite me, huh?” Thomas raised an eyebrow playfully. “That’s an honor. I will be willing to clear out my schedule for a gentleman as charming as you.”
Newt laughed before beaming at him. “Good to hear. I’ll see you later then. Enjoy the rest of the party.”
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
In his two years of knowing him, Thomas had learned the different sides of Newt – his public image which was a front he used to win the hearts of every single person he would meet, his aloof side which showed how much he toughened up around people despite his youthful charm, his proud self which would beam with pride every time he would receive a genuine compliment and even his sweet side which would split in between the cracks of his facade while they talk. However, there was something about Newt’s side that would show up every time he would play with fire in the center of the stage, the flame reflecting against his eyes as he spun the chain connected to the flames around while doing his spins. It was hypnotic and Thomas, who was alone in the VIP section in the venue, found that he could not take his eyes off Newt even as the latter finished his act and took a bow. The crowd applauded and Thomas was on autopilot as he clapped his hands together, eyes trained on Newt until the latter finally disappeared behind the curtains.
It was a few minutes later and the next act had already started when Thomas felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned his head to the side and saw Newt, who was settling down on the seat next to him. Newt was carrying a bottle of wine and a tray with an array of biscuits and cheese.
“I bought something to munch on. Hope you're enjoying the show so far, Your Highness.” Newt said as he placed the tray on the table in front of Thomas. The latter watched him through squinted eyes as he grabbed a piece of biscuit and took a bite from it. There was something odd about that sentence that Thomas could not quite pinpoint.
“You’re being really suspicious.” Thomas commented.
“What do you mean?” Newt asked, raising both eyebrows in confusion. Thomas only shook his head as a response before taking a cube of cheese for himself. “I did not know what kind of food you like so I just grabbed all kinds I could find from our stock. None of them are certainly not good enough for a royalty but better than nothing, I suppose.”
Thomas slowly swallowed the cheese before squinting his eyes at Newt in suspicion once more. “Why are you being polite?”
“I am always polite towards you, your highness. I will never dare to do otherwise as I have my reputation to uphold.” Newt looked at him like he was the one who was being strange.
“I mean, yeah, but you often have that playful tone underneath the formalities, you know, so it makes me think that somehow, it’s not that formal compared to the other conversations I have… And you don’t call me ‘your highness’ when it’s just the two of us.”
Newt was listening to his explanation, the former’s expression showing his confusion at first and then, he flashed a grin accompanied by a chuckle. “So, you do like the nickname!” He exclaimed. Thomas opened his mouth but when he came up empty of a witty retort, he shut it back and simply scoffed, only hoping that the blush was not that visible. He did not mean to let it slip. “Alright, I won’t tease you about it, Tommy so no worries. As for why I’m being ‘polite’ – if that’s what we’re calling this, you don’t need to worry your pretty head about it. I’ll be off your back by tomorrow.”
“What do you mean?”
“Did I not mention that tonight will be the last performance?” Newt asked. He did mention that but Thomas failed to figure out what Newt meant by ‘last’. “Our crew still have to continue our travels even without Lizzy around. We can’t all stay at Harriet’s.”
“Oh.” Thomas tried to conceal his disappointment and managed to distract himself enough by pouring himself a glass of wine. “Well, good luck on your endeavors.”
“Thanks. It really hits different coming from someone like your highness.” Unlike how Newt usually flirted, his sentence came out very sincerely that Thomas genuinely thought something was wrong.
“Seriously, what is this about? Did you commit a crime? I can’t help you out if you don’t tell me.”
Newt bursted out laughing. Thankfully, the VIP section where they were currently seated was far away from the other audiences so they did not disrupt anyone. “No, Tommy,” Newt chuckled but Thomas only kept scrutinizing him. “Your imagination is so odd. I was just, um, checking something. Not important.” Thomas was about to insist on asking what it was but Newt was quick to change the topic. “Anyway, I’m getting bored. Let’s play a game.”
“Your crew is performing right there.” Thomas replied, dryly, and pretended to be turning his focus towards the stage even though he was still watching Newt through his peripheral vision.
“Eh, they’ll get over it.” Newt poked Thomas until the latter finally gave in and looked at him. “Let’s play commands and questions. Are you familiar with that?”
“I am. At the very least, I know it’s a foolish game.” Thomas had played it before with some of his cousins when he was younger. He hated it — doing embarrassing things and answering embarrassing questions just for the fun of it. It did not take any skill to play unless you would call lack of pride a skill.
“Then, does that mean you’re opposed to playing it with me?” Newt asked. Thomas was about to agree but Newt continued, “Because I totally understand, your highness. We wouldn’t want you venturing outside your comfort zone.”
“Excuse me?”
“I just know that you’re the play safe type of person.” Newt had a smirk on his face and Thomas was aware that the former was saying that just to rile him up. The fact that he knew did not make it less effective.
“I do not play safe.” Thomas said through gritted teeth.
“Sure, I believe you, your highness.” Newt replied, batting his eyes coyly. “But this one’s a little too unsafe. We wouldn’t want you embarrassing yourself now, would we?”
“I know what you’re trying to do.” Thomas said, voice dripping in annoyance but when Newt only smiled cheekily as a response, Thomas heaved a sigh. “Fine, we are definitely playing that game. I’ll even start.”
“Alright, but you can back out anytime.”
“Not if you back out first.”
Newt raised an eyebrow before his smile turned into a smirk, his eyes gleaming in mischief. “I do like a challenge, Tommy. Shall we start then? Do you want a command or a question?”
“Command.” Thomas replied without missing a beat. He obviously did not think it through but he was not planning to back down against anything just to stop Newt’s cockiness.
“Alright, my brave prince.” Newt replied teasingly. “I command you to take me to the place with the best view in this kingdom.”
“Good thing you’re talented because if I were part of your crew, I'd kick you out for making an audience member leave in the middle of the show.”
Newt chuckled. “I probably won’t be here for months so it’s only natural that I would want one last tour — from your highness himself if possible. They will understand where I’m coming from.”
“A totally valid excuse.” Thomas said with a chuckle while swallowing down the words ‘I will miss you’ that almost escaped from his lips.
Thomas did not need more convincing than that and he led the way outside of the place and towards his carriage where his bodyguards were waiting. It only took them a few minutes before they arrived in front of the clocktower placed within the vicinity of the palace. It was the same clocktower that they had sneaked into the night they first met. It was the first place that Thomas thought of and it was pure coincidence that he had been wanting to take Newt there too just to refresh his memories.
Newt gazed up at the clocktower and whistled. Then, he looked at Thomas with his usual coy smile. “You taking me up there?”
“Yeah,” Thomas nodded as he led the way inside. “Be careful, the steps of the stairs are a little uneven.”
“I know.” Newt replied after a few seconds. Thomas turned his head so fast to try reading Newt but the latter only raised an eyebrow but kept his expression neutral.
“Oh.” Thomas said lamely before continuing in leading the way upstairs. They arrived in just a few minutes and Newt let out another whistle of appreciation. “I know you’ve seen the world and we don’t have much to offer but I hope this view is good enough for you.” Thomas said, a playful smile on his face as they approached the railings. The sky was clear that night. The stars were visible but they all pale in comparison to the moon in its full shape.
When Thomas looked at him, Newt was not even looking at sky but rather was staring at Thomas so intensely as if he was trying to read his very spirit, “The view is the best. Definitely.” He smiled as he gave Thomas’ shoulder a single pat before turning his gaze towards the sky. “Is this where you take all your dates when you try to woo them, your highness?”
“If I remember correctly, I chose ‘command’. Save the question for later.” Thomas said and smirked when Newt scoffed. “It’s your turn now.”
“I’ll choose ‘command’ as well.”
“Good. I command you to sing a song.” Thomas’ smile grew wide as Newt’s eyes widened.
“You’re kidding? You are aware that Lizzy is the singer between us and not me, right? My singing voice is really unpleasant.”
“I did not say you have to sing pleasantly.” Thomas did not even bother hiding how pleased he was with Newt’s reaction. The latter glared at him but he could only laugh. “You can back out too, you know? We wouldn’t want you embarrassing yourself now, would we?”
That tactic seemed to be as effective on Newt as it was for Thomas. “Fine. You asked for it. Don’t start complaining if your ears start to hurt.” Newt smiled cheekily before clearing his throat. Then, he started to sing a romantic song loudly and was way out of tune. He was laughing as he did so, a rarely seen blush adorning his cheeks but he persisted despite the embarrassment.
Adorable. Thomas was no expert in music (he did take lessons but had never been fond of them) but he could easily tell that Newt was nowhere near as good as Sonya. That did not mean he hated Newt singing though because at that moment, he did not want this private show (that was way too adorable than it had any right to be) to end anytime soon.
But eventually, it did. Newt abruptly stopped singing and squinted his eyes at Thomas, the blush still apparent in his cheeks. “Bloody hell, stop looking at me like that. I know I suck.”
“I didn’t know you could be this fascinating.” It was meant to be sarcastic – meant to be a teasing remark that would get their usual banter going but Thomas could not control the tone of his voice as he stared at Newt being unusually out of his cocky self, the blush on the latter’s cheeks going to deeper as Thomas stared longer. Stop staring. His mind was practically screaming at him but his eyes were still glued to Newt as the latter finally calmed down from his embarrassment (his cheeks were still red though) and shot Thomas a glare.
“It’s your turn, your highness. Command or question?”
“Command.” Thomas replied, eyes still trained on Newt as the latter brushed his hair back only for it to go back to its normal untamed place.
“Dance with me.” Newt’s smile was playful but it seemed to be mixed with poorly concealed excitement.
Thomas blinked, finally snapping out of his trance. “Dance with you? What dance?”
“Like a social dance, the ones you do at balls and such? You are familiar with those, correct?”
“I am. I was trained, in fact, when I was younger since we were expected to socialize a lot.” Thomas said, accompanied with a sheepish chuckle.
“That’s great. I, on the other hand, have never done any social dance ever in my life. But I trust you can lead well, Tommy.” Newt had a cheeky smile as he extended his arm out to offer his hand to Thomas, who hesitantly took it.
Newt’s hands felt warm against him and Thomas’ mind almost wandered to dangerous territories but he managed to control himself as he focused on replying. “You’ve never danced before? Isn’t your crew always invited to parties? Surely, there must have been some fancy balls where you have to dance in some of them?” While still holding one of Newt’s hands, Thomas gingerly guided Newt’s free hand on his shoulder before placing his own hand near Newt’s waist, barely touching it (and tried his best not to be affected with the proximity).
“I never learned how and I was scared that people would judge me for it. So, I always made sure to stay by the tables and talk with people. Besides, I would not be able to enjoy all the wine if I get too occupied dancing.” Newt said with a chuckle. As he talked, he glanced down at Thomas’ hand near his waist, silently raising an eyebrow before adjusting it so that it was placed properly before resuming his previous position.
“Have you drunk too much wine?” Thomas asked. If Newt was drunk, maybe, he could use that as a justification to back out of this game.
“Geez, Tommy, are you going to actually do my command or just continue asking questions?” Newt replied, rolling his eyes.
“Was just asking.” Thomas replied in defiance before huffing. “And how can we dance? We don’t even have music.”
“Sorry, your highness, I forgot to ask the orchestra to come with us.” Newt said, voice dripping in sarcasm. “Can’t you hum? Surely, you’re familiar with some of the music they always play.”
“Fine. I will just count.” Thomas grumbled. Newt looked like he was about to complain but he actually stayed silent as Thomas tightened the grip on his waist and started counting. “1…2…3…4…1…2..” Thomas swayed them and led Newt throughout the steps in each count. His eyes were focused on the ground, making sure that he would not accidentally step on Newt.
But then, Newt started laughing so he stopped abruptly to look at him through squinted eyes. “Don’t look so offended. I think you’re… fascinating.” Newt said, giving him a playful wink. “Although if I’m being honest, this isn’t how I imagined my first dance to be at all. The counting bit really ruined the mood.”
“Really should have thought of bringing the orchestra with us.” Thomas answered with a chuckle and then, he pulled away from Newt, trying not to falter as he regained his composure back. “If you’re satisfied with that, it’s your turn now.”
“That was least satisfying but you did obey the command so I can’t complain. I think I’ll pick ‘question’ this time.”
Thomas had a lot of things he wanted to ask Newt, multiple questions he compiled inside his mind that he never got the courage to ask. But none of those was the question that slipped between his lips the moment Newt said his pick. “Are you drunk right now?”
“What?” Newt looked at him as if he was really odd – which, in hindsight, was true in that moment. Thomas did not know why he was being odd either but he felt like he had to know if Newt was drunk out of his mind and would be forgetting this moment (which would undoubtedly be part of Thomas’ collection of memories related to Newt). The part of Thomas that insisted he was not interested in Newt was unusually quiet as Thomas proceeded to dig a grave for himself.
“I’m asking if you’re drunk, you know. Like, you have been drinking wine since the afternoon and you drank after your performance. Maybe, you drank in between too. So, your mind might not be in the best state. I wanted to make sure you weren’t earlier but you did not answer properly so I’m asking now.” Great, rambling in front of the guy who teases you in everything. Way to save your pride, Thomas.
Surprisingly, Newt was not smiling teasingly but rather, he had a very soft smile and for a few seconds, he did nothing but smile. Finally, before Thomas started another ramble, he spoke. “I’m not drunk, Tommy. I can handle my alcohol so rest assured, you don’t need to worry about me.”
“I’m not worried about you or anything.” Of all times Thomas’ in denial side would reappear, it decided that in the middle of another rambling was a good time. “I just think that you should not drink too much because you’re wrong about you being able to handle your alcohol. When you drink too much, you forget things that happened and uh, that’s not good in general.”
“I never forget things even when I’m drunk, Tommy. Why would you think that?” Newt tilted his head, looking half confused and half amused.
“I don’t know. Happens to people.” Thomas tried to brush it off and thankfully, Newt did not push further, only shrugging as a response.
“Alright… Now, your turn.”
“Hmm, question.”
Newt’s not so subtle smirk made him realize he might have picked the wrong choice. “How many people have you brought here just to make out with?”
“I beg your pardon?” He did not know why he felt offended about whatever Newt was insinuating.
“This place has a good view and is very private. I bet you brought a lot of people here. Making out under the stars sounds very romantic and will make all your admirers swoon.”
“Only did it once actually.” Thomas replied hesitantly only to watch Newt’s cheeky smile slowly fade.
“Does that mean it’s only me then? I didn’t know I’m that special to you, Tommy.” Newt almost sounded… hopeful? But Thomas could not figure out if it was part of a joke. He was not even sure if Newt was referring to the present or if he was referring to that first night.
Unsure of how to respond, Thomas let out a chuckle that he hoped did not sound as awkward to Newt as it was in his own ears. Newt’s gaze was fixed on his own and the former looked like he was trying to read right into Thomas’ soul, lips pursed and looking a little unsure. Thomas cleared his throat as he forced his gaze away, eyes trying to seek comfort by looking at the stars. “Your turn.” He muttered.
“Command.” Newt replied after a few seconds.
There was tension in the air that Thomas could not describe. It seemed like there was something he was missing here – a bigger picture of some sort. But he did not know what to ask or what to say to get a clearer image. So, he tried to ignore the tension as he let his gaze naturally wander back to Newt (just like it had always done whenever the acrobat was around). “Hmm… Give me a chance to make it up to you with another first dance? I’ll make it a better experience this time.”
“It’s not going to be another first. There’s only one first.” Newt said, rolling his eyes but his smile was soft and there was no hint of sarcasm in it.
“Then allow me to be your second dance as well?”
“Fine.” Newt replied and Thomas wasted no time in positioning Newt’s hands on top of his shoulders before placing his own hands on Newt’s hips. Newt was watching him, his thoughts as unreadable as always but he still had the soft smile on his face and it was helping in soothing Thomas' nerves, which decided they had to join this fun night as well.
Thomas started humming as he swayed their bodies side to side. They still had some space between them but the proximity was significantly reduced compared to earlier and since the dance barely had any steps in it, Thomas did not have an excuse to look away from Newt since accidentally stepping on his foot was not likely to happen now. Not that he could look away regardless even if he tried.
Newt placed his hands behind Thomas’ neck, his fingers lightly tugging at the end of Thomas’ hair (Thomas did not comment on it because not only did he not mind, he seemed to be into it). Then, Newt tightened his hold, wrapping his arms around Thomas before leaning his head on Thomas’ shoulder, his breath hot against Thomas’ neck. “You’re impossible.” He muttered and Thomas involuntarily shivered at the vibration from Newt that he could feel from their proximity.
Thomas’ arms were wrapped around Newt as well (a fact that his mind registered a little late) as he continued swaying them from side to side even though he completely stopped humming. “What do you mean?” He only hoped that Newt could not hear the way his heartbeat seemed to be racing against time but with Newt practically leaning against him, it was a futile wish.
He felt Newt shake his head before responding, “Your turn, Tommy.”
As much as Thomas did not want to be the first one to back down from their little game, he also did not really feel like moving either, especially since they were still swaying together and Newt’s warm body felt really good against his own. “Question.”
Newt sighed as he proceeded to ask his question, voice muffled as he spoke with his face buried against the crook of Thomas’ neck, “Will this back and forth ever get somewhere?”
The question made Thomas confused and he stopped their swaying motion but did not make any move to pull away. “Um, we usually go in circles during social dances. It is often frowned upon to take it outside the ballroom.” He said, only realizing that it was the wrong answer when Newt scoffed.
“Not the dance. Us.” Every muscle in Thomas’ body stilled and he was totally lost on what they were talking about. Newt’s tone sounded as if the statement was supposed to clarify everything and Thomas was once reminded there was a bigger picture he was completely missing – but what is it? He had no idea. Newt knew what it was and it seemed like Thomas was running out of time to catch up.
So, he rushed to ask, words stumbling out with each other, “Us? What do you mean ‘us’? Like, is there something going on that I missed? Am I– Are we– I don’t understand.”
Wrong answer again – Thomas realized when Newt pulled away, heaving a sigh and he had a slight frown on his face as he turned his face to avoid looking directly at Thomas as he took a step back.
Thomas did not let go as he gripped Newt tighter so the latter could not move further. “Newt, please, talk to me properly. What did you mean?” He pleaded. He had a feeling that if Newt escaped from his grasp now, then he would never experience feeling his body against him again. And even his state of deep denial hated that feeling so he held tight.
“I’m sorry, Tommy, but I can’t read you at all.” Thomas bit down the sarcastic remark ‘ you can’t read me ?’ and tried to keep his face neutral as he listened. Unfortunately, he could not control his flabbergasted expression when Newt continued talking. “Are you interested in me or not? Trying to read in between the lines with you is very hard. I don’t know anymore if you remember it because it doesn’t seem like you do but you brought me here before. It was the night we first met and I was so nervous about being around you that I drank a little more than I used to but I could still remember everything. You kissed the air out of me and gave me lots of compliments but you never mentioned anything about it afterwards. And so I thought that was it. At least, I had a good memory with you that I can take with me but then, whenever we meet and I try to flirt with you, you flirt right back. And I know you never do that with others and it might be a little delusional on my side but I was hoping that it’s a sign that you like me too or at least, interested in me somehow and that night at the clocktower was not just some drunken thing?”
…What? Did I drink too much wine and I’m hallucinating this whole speech right now? Thomas’ mind was taking its time to catch up while Newt continued speaking.
“So, I always try to get your attention but it’s not working at all as everyone in my crew gladly pointed out. You don’t seem to get the hint. Naturally, I should change my ways, you know and I thought that maybe, if I flirt the way royalties would, you would get it but that did not work either because you just became suspicious thinking it was me trying to be polite to cover up some crime – I was trying to flirt, for goodness sake! I’ve been trying to convince myself that you’re just flat out not interested and that you get what I feel but you don’t want to directly reject me to spare our friendship. But now, you’re just being the usual you, kind and really sweet, and it’s making me frustrated that this thing between us might keep on going back and forth like this.” Newt sighed heavily and he was pouting as he added, “I just thought I should just say it directly to make it clear for me and finally get over this if you’re only planning to mess around with me.”
Thomas’ brain went into overdrive as it took a few moments to catch up in processing Newt’s words. Newt’s version of the story was entirely different from the ‘playboy messing with the royalty’ narrative that Thomas’ mind had conjured and had stubbornly stuck with these past couple of years. He opened his mouth but his voice refused to come out. He cleared his throat and tried again. “You were flirting?” were the words that he managed to say and cringed when he realized he should have at least thought about it before speaking.
“I give up.” Wrong answer again. And it was strike three apparently. Newt looked defeated as he pushed against Thomas’ chest to get away but instead of budging, Thomas embraced him.
“Nonono, sorry, please don’t go.” Thomas rushed out, brain to mouth filter as well as his high pride completely missing. Newt was stiff in between his arms but he continued speaking, “It’s a legitimate question. I genuinely did not know – I mean, I was aware it was flirting but I did not know you actually mean it. I saw you flirt with other people, practically everyone actually, so I thought it was just your norm. In fact, I thought you were messing with me.”
“I can see why you think that. Sonya pointed that out as well.” Newt grumbled but he still had not moved an inch and if possible, he seemed to have stiffen more in nervousness. “So, you thought I was messing with you so you were really messing around as well?” He sounded like he was pouting so without thinking, Thomas started to rub his back to ease Newt’s nerves and was relieved to feel the latter relax in his arms.
“I’m not – I didn’t intend to mess around with your feelings. Let me make one thing clear. I like you but I’m prideful and stubborn so admitting that even to myself while thinking you’re some sort of casanova who was just leading me on was really difficult.” Newt pulled away a little so he could stare at Thomas with those big hopeful eyes. Thomas smiled shyly as he continued, “I thought you forgot all about that night so I didn’t want to make it weird by bringing it up. You never mentioned it so I thought that’s really the case and I felt really bitter about it. When I see you flirting with other people, I get irrationally jealous and I keep convincing myself that I did not really fancy you that much. But whenever you end up paying attention to me, no matter how short, those thoughts just go out the window and I end up flirting back just to enjoy the moment. I might have thought you were messing around but I was not messing around back… not entirely, at least. I guess a part of me hoped that if I do a good job at our banters, you’ll start to do it genuinely.”
“I have been sincere with you since the first time we met. Sure, I equate teasing with flirting but that’s the only way I know how.” Newt scrunched his nose. “I did not realize that me doing it with others as well bothered you.”
“Of course, it bothered me. Imagine if it was me who was flirting with other people.” Thomas replied, poking the tip of Newt’s nose.
“But you don’t. You never do that aside from me so it will make sense if that will bother me. But you’ve seen me with everyone.” Newt snorted.
“Fine, I concede.” Thomas sighed softly and for a couple of seconds they just watched each other, gazes fixed on each other as they enjoyed the peace. “I like when we banter.” Thomas did not realize he was the one speaking until the words were pouring out uncontrollably and he could not make it stop. “I like when you make me blush with your annoyingly arrogant attitude. I also like when it’s you who ends up blushing because of some retort I said. And I also like it when you accidentally say things sincerely, like I can listen to your thoughts you don’t simply share with just anyone. I just… really like you.” When Newt stared at him for a long while instead of giving a response, Thomas’ confidence faltered and he added for good measure, “... I guess?”
That seemed to be effective in snapping Newt out of it as he laughed. “You guess?”
“I did not mean for all that to slip out and I get nervous when you say nothing.” Thomas chuckled nervously. “I mean, look, Newt, I thought you were leading me on until just now so I’ve been digging this whole grave of denial for me. It’s gotten so deep that it’s a struggle to get out of it, you get me?”
“That does sound like you.” Newt said as his hands sneaked up to caress Thomas’ jaw. Thomas just silently let him, feeling his cheeks heat up but grateful, Newt did not comment on his blush. Then, Newt embraced Thomas again and continued their dance as he hummed a random tune this time.
Thomas hugged Newt tighter, sighing in contentment. “I haven’t answered your question yet.”
“Hmm?” Newt stopped his humming along with the movements of their body. He slightly pulled away so he could look at Thomas directly.
“About whether this is going anywhere. I honestly don’t know but I really hope the answer’s yes because I really do want this – want our relationship to go somewhere. So, if you’re up to it, would you like to try and see where this will go?”
Newt smiled shyly as he answered, “Good. For the record, I really like you too.” Then, his smile turned into a grin as he added with a chuckle, “...I guess.”
Thomas laughed, mind getting ahead of himself and wondering what it would be like to live the rest of his life accompanied with Newt’s sense of humor. “Good. If you don’t mind, can I kiss you now?”
Newt did not even bother to give him a verbal response and instead, leaned in to press their lips together. Thomas was definitely not going to complain as he smiled against the kiss, the butterflies in his stomach enjoying their freedom after being deprived of it for so long.
That night, the game of chicken was left abandoned in favor of kissing and staring at each other. But neither Newt or Thomas found it much of a loss and decided to call it a draw.