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Ajax is barely breathing when Kira finds him.
Floating in a cloud of blood, she darts across the wide crevice leading to the forbidden depths—the Abyss—and scoops the boy up to inspect his injuries. Scars of various lengths etched into his arms and chest; his fins and tail marred and torn. Despite being missing for only three days, the injuries on her baby brother's body appear weeks if not months old.
But one glaring feature she finds most unfamiliar and alarming is the tusk on his forehead. Ajax was far too young to grow his in, yet it's there, protruding from his curly red bangs. An early bloomer, perhaps, but Kira shudders at the sight of it. Because instead of the snow-white color common to their family line, Ajax's tusk is a terrifying black.
This, she realizes, is a bad omen.
She tries to rouse her brother, but he doesn't wake. His cheeks are gaunt, and his heartbeat sounds as weak as he looks—a far cry from the healthy, playful boy she last saw only days prior. Kira feels an icy current chill the water around them—the Abyss extending its tendrils to the two wayward mer much too far from their pod. The girl shudders and shakes off the fear coursing through her. It is ingrained, practically in her DNA, for how long merfolk have feared the evil depths below.
"Beware the whispers of the Abyss, for the blessings it promises always come with a cost," the elders had cautioned them since birth.
The warning was mostly unwarranted, for narwhals were not known for their curiosity or adventurousness. Quiet and kind, this breed of mer traveled the icy waters of Snezhnaya as a large family, migrating to sites they’ve tended to for centuries, and following an ageless tradition solely dedicated to the protection of their pod.
But Ajax was born different.
Initially, their parents mistook their son’s quietness for timidity. Born a bit smaller than his brothers, with large blue eyes and prominent spots upon his pale skin, he silently watched and observed the world from the protection of his parents’ fins. But what the boy truly desired, and what he hid so well, was his heart for adventure. Kira could sense it from the way his eyes lit up upon seeing something novel—how he smiled at the discovery of the new.
She knew her baby brother would someday be unsatisfied with their way of life and would set out to explore.
As the girl races through the icy waters with her brother’s limp body in tow, she wonders why, of all places , he decided to explore the Abyss .
When Kira returns to their pod, she is greeted with a flurry of activity. Her mother and father rush to her and cradle their unconscious child with worry in their hearts. The elders look upon him less kindly, with grim expressions and judgmental eyes. They carry Ajax away to discern his ailment, and Kira tries her best to keep her parents calm. For half a day, the family awaits the elders' diagnosis, and Kira's heart drops to the pit of her stomach when they return empty handed.
"Where's Ajax?" her mother interrogates. "Where is my son?!"
"He cannot return," the high elder informs her, with little sympathy in his tone. "He entered the forbidden waters and now carries a wicked curse. He must be left behind, or else he will bring misfortune to us all."
The mother pleads with the elders to let her see her boy one last time, but they refuse. She throws herself at their mercy and cries hysterically until her husband drags her away.
"We have to trust the elders, love," he tells her, hoping that she will eventually come to understand. "We have to believe they are making the best decision for everyone."
Kira watches her parents grieve from afar. She clutches her chest, wondering if bringing her baby brother home was the right choice, only to have him be cast out. She cries silently as their pod prepares to continue their migration, now with one less in number.
And thus, Ajax awakes sick and alone on a sheet of ice.
Abandoned.
Ajax blinks, staring up at the starless sky. His limbs feel heavy, and his head throbs with pain. He reaches up and his hand bumps into something unexpected: a horn, cold and sensitive, and he shudders at the touch.
An unfamiliar feeling.
A limb that shouldn’t exist.
Through sheer force of will, Ajax sits up to survey his surroundings. Regrettably, he finds himself alone. He is no longer in the dark, murky depths of the Abyss, and the monsters that hunted him for what felt like months are nowhere to be seen. However, these facts do nothing to calm the fear souring his stomach.
He doesn't recognize where he is. He can thankfully recognize the Snezhnayan waters from the icebergs floating around him, but he can’t recall these particular formations nor the floe he finds himself on. He feels disoriented and nauseous, and a dawning awareness that he's escaped one hell only to enter another forces him to curl into a ball. As he huddles, he tries to remember what happened last.
He vaguely recalls hunting for food, filling his stomach with something unnatural…
Warm and still beating, he dug his teeth into his meal. He cried because he didn’t want to. He cried because he was sorry. His food writhed in his throat, and he cried because it could have just as easily been him.
Ajax retches, feeling like he needs to vomit, but nothing comes out. Instead, his stomach aches with unforgiving emptiness. The frigid air reminds him of his exposure—that despite escaping the dark Abyss he is still, unfortunately, alone. Overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness and confusion, he cries, hoping with everything in him that this is all just a bad dream. But his grieving is interrupted by a terrifying sound.
A large, black and white creature surfaces the water, its blowhole breaching loudly not far from the small boy's location. Ajax scrambles backwards upon the floe eyeing the back of the creature as it dives back under.
An orca.
Teyvat’s apex predator, and the bane of all mer.
Ajax lets out a sigh of relief, but a sudden tremor of a nearby floe draws his attention. The surface of the water ripples before the sheet of ice explodes into the air. Chunks of debris fall around Ajax, landing into the frozen waters and forcing the remaining floes to shudder against each other with distressful creaks and cracks. The small mer fights to keep his balance when another sheet breaks, then another, and another, and it is to Ajax's horror that they seem to be heading towards him.
Before his own floe is reached, Ajax takes a deep breath and dives under the water, barely missing the maw of the orca he'd seen earlier. The ice sheet is smashed into smithereens, clouding the water, and he uses the chaos to initiate his escape.
Ajax darts deeper into the ocean, blindly seeking a place to evade his pursuer. But he can feel— sense —the larger whale behind him and in his mind he imagines a giant mouth of sharp teeth chasing him down. Ajax’s blood screams in his ears; his limbs strain from how hard he forces himself to dive deeper and deeper until even the skylight is blotted out by the depths he’s reached.
Then he sees it—there!
Ajax squeezes himself into a narrow fissure nestled between conjoined icebergs. He barely manages to pull in his tail when the orca collides with the bummock, producing a thunderous boom. The whale retreats before running itself into the icy surface again and again and again, each time shaking the icy mass and the boy hiding within. With frustration, the predator paces the perimeter of the iceberg, and Ajax waits. He doesn’t know how long it takes—how many times he’s watched the hunter pass the only sliver of light allowing him to see—before finally…
…it stops.
Ajax pants loudly, waiting. His heart thuds just as loud, anticipating the orca’s return but nothing happens. Minutes pass and his eyes adjust to the darkness, yet nothing outside his small space moves.
Nothing but open sea.
As his breathing slows down, Ajax realizes he will need to resurface for air. But his hunter is still out there, he is sure of it. Snezhnayan waters aren’t exactly plentiful with prey, so a lone orca on the prowl will certainly bide its time for even a small meal such as him. The silence is deafening—almost torture—as it teases the boy, promising safety.
His lungs begin to sting, and he knows he must decide: to die, huddled and scared in the darkness, never to be found, or to brave the surface for survival. Any other narwhal might choose the former option, but Ajax is not like them.
Not anymore. Not after the Abyss.
With all the strength his small, tired body can muster, Ajax forces his way back out into the open ocean and swims urgently towards the surface. His body quivers with fear, but he ignores it and keeps his eyes locked onto the promise of life hanging above him.
He might not survive this. The orca might still be around. He might reach the surface one second and be mauled the next.
Ajax buries these fears in his heart and just focuses on the light ahead.
If he can just make it there, he can worry about the rest later.
The boy crashes into the surface like a wrecking ball, gasping for breath. His lungs burn with the freezing air stinging his insides, and he cries as his body screams in joint relief and pain.
‘I made it!’ he rejoices, and he feels a brief moment of triumph.
Then, his eyes lock onto the moon above.
The large silver orb hangs imposingly in the starless sky and suddenly the boy feels his blood freeze. Round and full, the haunting mass stares back at him floating alone in the ocean and captures his heart like a pitchfork plunging into a bale of hay. Without warning, his muscles seize into stiffness—uncontrollable spasms and tingling limbs wrenching his body until the boy is left floating and gasping upon the water’s surface.
He croaks as he feels his body shift and change. He struggles uselessly against the invisible forces twisting and molding him, and through the intense pain he remembers:
He has gone through this before.
Day three.
No light and no sound.
He didn’t need air to breathe, and the thought that he was changing disturbed him. He jumped at any current that brushed his shoulders, fearful of what waited for him in the dark.
His eyes adjusted to his surroundings, but there was still no food to be found. His stomach gnawed in futility, just as useless as his attempt at suckling the deformed rocks and plants he scrounged from the abyssal earth.
Nothing tasted right down there.
Nothing sated.
Day eight.
He couldn’t stand the hunger. The darkness was driving him mad. The whispers he tried to block out were laughing at him—the poor, stupid narwhal unwilling to do what he must to survive.
‘You have teeth, young blood, why not use them?’
‘You have hands, so why not kill?’
Ajax couldn’t stand the voices. His species was peaceful. They journeyed as a family, hunted and gathered together, and were taught to preserve all things. Yet, these creatures taunting his reluctance frayed the poor boy’s nerves.
Was he a fool for holding onto his pod’s teachings? Would he die because of his stubbornness to cling to what sanity he had left? If he gave in, could he still call himself kind?
Day fifteen.
He killed for the first time in his life.
After watching another beastly predator attack and devour a lesser creature, Ajax mustered the bravery to do the same. He fought against every instinct within him to give mercy, but once the dying thing was in his hands—warm and fresh—he couldn’t help himself.
The hunger was just too great.
As he swallowed the tainted meat, he stopped himself from thinking too hard about how his tongue relished the taste.
The relief was overwhelming.
He would never go another day hungry again.
Day thirty-five.
Hunting became easy, almost second nature.
Despite his small teeth, he learned to gnaw through bone. Using his wits, he fashioned weapons from his mer-borne control over hydro—daggers for finesse, a trident for range. Creatures in the deep learned to run from the small mer, now dangerous and filled with a lust for conquering his prey. The boy was a far cry from how he entered.
He became a hunter instead of the hunted.
A proper denizen of the Abyss.
Day forty.
The moon was a strange comfort to Ajax. It was the only light that ever penetrated the vast darkness, and vaguely made him feel connected to home.
Was his family looking up at the same moon as well? Did his siblings still think of him? Was his pod worried about his disappearance and wished for his safe return?
Ajax knew this ‘moon’ likely only existed in his imagination. The abyssal depths blocked out any such glimpse of the surface. And yet, Ajax let its artificial glow blanket him as he dreamt of family and peaceful waters.
Day fifty-seven.
Ajax’s injuries piled up—his beautiful tail marred, and his skin etched into. His mother would be worried to see him like this. His big sister, Kira, would scold him for getting into such trouble.
How would he explain himself once he got home?
… If he ever got home.
Day sixty.
Ajax nursed a deep gash on his stomach—a hunt gone awry. He had been careless in pursuing prey that led him to an even larger predator. Frenzied with fear and driven by a will to survive, he triumphed, but not without sustaining a grievous wound that would soon prove fatal. He did his best to stem the bleeding, but the cloud formed by his own blood told him he wouldn’t last. As he felt his life slipping away, the whispers of the Abyss called out to him, promising salvation.
“Accept me and I will save your life. Accept my power and you will know no pain.”
Ajax couldn’t see his savior. He only witnessed the false full moon hanging above him as his body gained new strength.
Ajax feels this same strength once again—the Abyss’ promise clinging like tar to his soul. His body is bigger now, stronger and brimming with energy, and he no longer feels fear.
He is the predator.
He is strength.
And he is hungry.
Ajax turns away from the moon to dive back into the water, sensing life with his tusk. He detects his prey and like a heat-seeking missile, fires himself towards the sea ice—homed in on the beating of hearts, of veins pumping warm blood.
A family of seals sleeps safely on an ice floe.
They face their worst enemy in Ajax.
The whale attacks them with no mercy, forming sharp weaponry from the ocean waters to tear into their thick hides then ending their lives with fierce bites to their necks. The slaughter is efficient though violent—unrestrained by the boy overflowing with abyssal taint. In his wake, nothing is left alive.
After the carnage, the young mer tosses himself onto the ice to rest from his triumphant hunt. He laughs aloud at the relief soothing his nerves when he comes face-to-face with that bright, full moon.
Then, clarity.
Ajax sits up and drags his weight to the water’s edge to peer into the dark surface, and in it, he finally sees himself:
His body is massive—at least the size of a small sea vessel—and covered in black and white spots similar to that of his orca hunter. Along his spine and forearms are hard purple armor, coral in nature, but hard and impenetrable, encasing his soft skin like a shell. But most shocking is the mask on his face: red with spindling tendrils rising upward like demonic horns, holding back his curly red hair spilling out from behind it. Ajax raises a clawed hand to touch the shiny blue orb adorning the mask’s surface and flinches when he realizes it is his eye . The mask’s jaw stretches open when he gasps, and he claps his hands over it, frightened by new rows of sharp teeth.
Ajax can’t make sense of what he sees; he can’t believe this is him .
He can’t blink. He can’t breathe.
He trembles, realizing that the Abyss had gifted him the power to survive its depths, but in exchange it stole more. What it had hidden from him in darkness lays bare in the light of the moon:
He is a monster.
“Marvelous.”
A voice nearby stirs Ajax from his shock, and he twists around to face his witness. A bespectacled man, short in stature and dressed in a thick azure uniform watches the mer from afar. Atop the man’s head is a tall hat, and protruding from the large fur around his neck is a rather long nose (or horn?). The human taps his cane on the cold, hard ground and signals to Ajax with a wave of his hand.
“What-ho!” The man bellows, “Come here if you understand me!”
Ajax stares at the two-legged creature with apprehension. Humans typically don’t wander this far out on the sea ice. Like most of Snezhnaya, the area is uninhabitable for land-faring creatures, leaving it free for marine life like Ajax and his kin.
The man does not take Ajax’s inaction as a deterrence and instead steps down onto the frozen water unafraid.
“Pardon my interruption,” the man mutters from afar, scouting his steps towards the mer with his cane. “I was performing an inspection of the nearby waypoint and happened to hear your hunt. I have—,” the man huffs as he skids across the ice clumsily, “—never seen a creature like you in my life.”
When the human finally posts a careful distance away from the large whale, he gives Ajax a polite bow at the waist.
“Your strength and ferocity are quite a marvel. I don’t suppose you have a name?”
The boy instinctively bows his head in return. His kind are social animals, and his mother didn’t raise a disobedient boy.
“Ajax,” he answers, but flinches at the metallic tone of his voice. He reaches up to his throat to feel out the thick gills that didn’t exist there before.
No wonder he no longer required air to breathe in the Abyss.
“So, you speak Common!” The man delights, “Wonderful! Wonderful! Now, Ajax, where is it that you hail from? I see that you are cetacean in nature, but your adornments and human-like features… Are you perhaps a creature of legend?”
Ajax shakes his head, still perturbed by how his unblinking eye remains focused on the small man, like looking through a warped glass.
“I am a mer, sir,” he replies, but does not miss the confused tilt of the man’s head. “I mean my family—we are descendants of merfolk. Of narwhals, sir.”
The man’s eyes light up. “How fascinating! To think that merfolk have always existed just under our noses.”
Ajax thinks the short creature means to tell a joke given his wink and his own exceptionally long nose, but the boy chooses to keep this thought to himself. The man coughs into his glove before continuing his barrage of questions.
The human is peculiar—exceedingly curious about Ajax’s origins and what made him into what he is today. Ajax, unfortunately, does not have much to tell. He’d grown up in a secluded pod of narwhals, traveling the waters of Snezhnaya on a migration route they’d followed generations before his time. His fall into the Abyss was an unexpected and unfortunate occurrence. An event that will alter his fate forever. Ajax entertains the man’s questions, and the conversation continues into the night. That is, until the full moon dips behind a distant mountain and their surroundings cloak in darkness.
Ajax noticeably stiffens, and the long-nosed man stops mid-sentence.
“What’s wrong, Ajax?”
Ajax opens his mouth to answer, but the moment the last sliver of moonlight escapes, his arms holding him upright give way. Powerful muscles suddenly become weak, and his gills close off immediately, giving him a sense of asphyxiation. Ajax falls to his elbows upon the ice with a harsh thud, and the human steps forward calling his name. Ajax lets out a wheeze, and as if punctured by a million knives, his body begins to bleed out abyssal taint.
The man scoots away as the ice between them turns black, and Ajax’s body shrinks and changes, expelling the dark energies that latched onto his soul. His armor dissolves into seafoam, and the mask on his face crumbles into soft earth.
The boy returns to his former state—young, pale, and weak.
In his mind, Ajax begs for help, but he does not know from where it will come. He reaped this curse, he thinks, for failing to heed the elders. He thinks of his mother, his father, and his siblings. He thinks of his neighbors, and his many, many cousins who will likely wonder where he has gone.
But as his drained body falls to the ice and his vision turns dark, Ajax tells himself that his pod is safer without him.
May they live on in peace.
Far to the north lies Snezhnaya’s human capital of Zapolyarny.
It is home to folk grown resilient through hardship—by weather and conflict—yet still strong in spirit through community and pride. Ajax is brought to a frigid palace made seemingly from the very ice that borders his ocean. Its chill is familiar yet unwelcoming, much like Her Majesty’s stare as she looks him up and down like a criminal on trial. The long-nosed man introduces Ajax as his ward, and also his discovery to the Cryo Goddess and her council. Her eyes pierce the mer coldly, but a wry smile crosses her lips.
“He may stay here, but only we shall know of his origin. But I do not do this out of charity. In time, he must prove his worth and contribute to our nation’s glory.”
Ajax's sponsor agrees on his behalf.
Through extreme secrecy, a bedroom is furnished for all Ajax’s needs. No one asks about the strange objects brought into the palace: a tank large enough to store a whale, and considerable imports from fishing villages to the south. The ‘Mayor’ himself makes out these orders, and nosy merchants can only speculate what crazy project he’s committed himself to this time.
His sponsor’s name is Pulcinella, or so the man states. It is a title, he is told, for one of eleven esteemed positions of the Fatui Harbingers, Snezhnaya’s elite council overseeing the Cryo Goddess’ affairs, Her military, and Her conquests. It is a silly name, Ajax thinks, but it is no sillier than the one his guardian gives him nearly ten years later: ‘Tartaglia.’
“You’ll soon wear it with pride,” Pulcinella tells the mer while affixing a red badge to a grey uniform upon a clothes hanger. The man carries the uniform towards the large water tank in the room’s center and raises it high to show off its features. Ajax rolls over from one side of the tank to come close enough to inspect his new attire. He immediately takes to the grey fabrics and black details reminiscent of his own monochrome hide. He looks the clothing up and down, noting the simple yet functional design, except for one thing:
“Why a sash?” Ajax asks.
“Why not?” Pulcinella huffs, puffing out his cheeks. “Am I not allowed to show off my pride and joy? My greatest discovery?” He lifts the ends of the uniform’s long, red sash. “Red represents strength and power, and blood shed in noble sacrifice. As vanguard of Her Majesty’s forces, both friend and foe alike will learn to seek these banners of red among the chaos.”
Pulcinella turns his gaze to Ajax. “Our troops will learn to follow you to victory.”
Ajax sinks into the tank, shying away from Pulcinella’s praise.
“I wish you wouldn’t speak so highly of me,” the mer mutters beneath the water’s surface.
He knows Pulcinella is proud of his strength—his development from a frightened calf to the young soldier before him. Under a human guise, Ajax has proven himself a viable weapon, and soon to be Her trusted vanguard in Her quest to conquer Teyvat. But despite all Pulcinella’s praise, Ajax knows he is different from the rest of Her followers. He may be able to fight and strategize, wine and dine with dignitaries, and lead a battalion—but he is still different.
Every first full moon of the year painfully reminds him of that fact.
Ajax’s limbs ached.
His breath came out labored.
Even in his monstrous, abyss-cursed form, he could still feel pain. With the full moon high in the sky, Ajax bore his transformation within the confines of his water tank.
Il Dottore showed no concern for Ajax's suffering as he paced outside the container, observing the results of his machines connected to the mer's body through dozens of needles and tubes. Ajax suppressed his agony, hoping that this observation would prove to be worthwhile.
In the days following his first transformation in the capital, the other Harbingers visited Pulcinella’s new pet: a weak mer lying in a tank, sedated by The Doctor. Columbina compared Ajax to a doll and gave him one that resembled him, providing company during his recovery. The Knave, Arlecchino, showed a hint of pity and had her children put exotic fish into his tank to help him feed. Through these actions, Ajax could delude himself into thinking they were some sort of family. However, when others like the noble Capitano, the enigmatic Scaramouche, and the beautiful La Signora barely acknowledged him, the illusion vanished.
Even in this place, Ajax was perceived as an outsider. Within this society, he was nothing more than a curiosity—an attraction that could lose its allure and be rejected once it lost its novelty.
Ajax took this observation as a call to act.
He became bold and self-assured. He fought with a level of violence unmatched by any other Snezhnayan soldier. He carried himself with confidence, disguising himself to blend in with the humans, and eventually gained the attention he desired. The Cryo Goddess bestowed upon him the highest honor he could imagine: the position of the Eleventh Harbinger—a position that had remained vacant for centuries, according to his sponsor.
He became one of ‘them.’
Pulcinella always saw greatness in him.
If only Ajax could see it too.
Pulcinella taps the side of the tank with his cane. “I cannot understand you when you speak underwater. Would you kindly step out so we can test the fit? Let’s not waste Pantalone’s hard work.”
Ajax does as he’s told, pulling himself up and hoisting his tail over the tank’s edge before shutting his eyes in concentration. Using what he’s mastered through mental exercises and rigorous training, Ajax wills two pale legs to form where his tail once existed. He slides down the tank’s ladder and plants his wet, human feet onto the floor, testing his stability, before finding his briefs and tugging them on.
“Come, come,” Pulcinella tuts, leading the way into the bedroom. Ajax situates himself before a mirror as his guardian helps him get dressed.
The outfit feels comfortable, like a second skin, and even Ajax feels quite proud of his reflected image by the time Pulcinella finishes pinning on that blood red sash. The older man, atop his stool, pats Ajax’s chest fondly, joining him to smile at the young man’s reflection in the mirror.
“Tartaglia, make us proud.”
Ajax is assigned to his first Harbinger-class mission in the country of Liyue. He is to act as a Snezhnayan diplomat and retrieve a prized artifact. His objective: secure the gnosis from the Geo God, Rex Lapis.
His intelligence brief describes Rex Lapis as a god of martial arts, a master of strategy, and an enforcer of fair order—all things Ajax has grown to admire during his time with the Fatui. In the history books and reports he perused on the ship ride over, Ajax came to understand Rex Lapis as a strong but fair person—a god grown wise through war. Without even knowing where or how he’ll find the god, an inkling of respect and admiration sparks within the mer for the one he intends to use to prove his worth.
But Ajax quickly learns that while he feels ready for the challenge, Liyue is not ready for him .
From the moment he sees the eastern country’s shores, he knows something is amiss.
Large stone pillars border the land’s beaches and its harbor, constantly pulsing the seabed with geo energy and keeping marine creatures at bay. Fishing boats pass his inbound ship in droves to deeper ocean waters in order to fish away from these warding constructs, and Ajax later learns that a fisherman’s wage in Liyue is exorbitant due to its apparent occupational danger. As a result, seafood is a rare and pricey luxury to the common folk.
While wandering the harbor’s streets, Ajax also learns the people fear the ocean an unnatural amount. Nearly every folktale and performance in the harbor revolves around ancient tales of sea creatures destroying human life. The Great Flood of Dihua Plains, the sea behemoth Baqiu, and other stories are used to scare young children and warn foolhardy men from tempting the sea to rise again. The general distrust of the ocean and his kind discomforts Ajax, and the mer finds himself feeling rather threatened by the mood the local sentiment creates.
But while meeting the people he will be working with for the next two years, he discovers something inarguably worse: Every citizen of Liyue wears a pendant designed to keep him away. At first, he thinks the wood and jadeite necklaces are a local fashion statement, but while shaking hands with Liyuen dignitaries, he feels his skin burn on contact even through his gloves. It happens again when he bumps elbows with a stranger in the market, and again when he pats the back of a dock worker who helps him with directions. Despite Ajax’s willingness to fit in, it seems that everything in Liyue refuses to accept his presence.
Knowing this, Ajax cannot help but feel ostracized in his new surroundings. He knows he can never expose his identity—not as an infiltrator and certainly not as a mer.
And thus, Ajax, Tartaglia, Eleventh of the Cryo Goddess’s Fatui Harbingers begins his vanguard mission in a country surrounded by enemies on all sides.
The only exception to this, Ajax decides, is Zhongli.
The reserved and handsome consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor quickly becomes one of Ajax’s comforts upon arriving at his new duty station. The Qixing, Liyue’s governing body, arranges their meeting, and by the Tianquan’s unflattering description of the man, the consultant preemptively sounds like an absolute bore to be around.
In truth, the mer finds Zhongli captivating.
The man’s eyes are like golden starlight on the darkest of nights, and his voice is beautifully sonorous like the most evocative whale song. He moves fluidly, like a wave slipping up a smooth coastline, and his gestures radiate warmth and control. Ajax marvels at how a human like Zhongli doesn’t have a mate or a family to call his own, given how his presence alone is enough to draw in onlookers’ attention.
But Ajax was charmed from the very start.
“Is this seat taken?”
Zhongli confidently took a seat at the Harbinger's table, despite coming face-to-face with the foreign agent secretly sent to kill their god.
“Are you my contact? Mr. Zhongli?”
“Indeed, I am,” the amber-eyed man replied before signaling a waitress. He quietly ordered a pot of tea for both of them in Liyuen, then turned his attention back to the harbinger. "The Tianquan told me where I could find you. I must admit, her description of you did little justice.”
Ajax could say the same. Like a barracuda seeking out its silvery prey, his eyes snapped to Zhongli's fine dress and handsome face. He couldn't help wondering if this was how Zhongli always presented himself when meeting new people. Their eyes met, and a smile formed on the human man’s lips, causing Ajax's heart to skip a beat.
As the silence lingered, the mer opened his mouth to break it.
"Did you hear about the lost fishing boat?" a woman at the nearby table asked her friend.
“Oh yes. Poor Mui. Her husband was one of the men lost in the storm.”
“A storm? Do you really believe that? It was surely a sea serpent!”
Ajax’s ears perked up. He held his tongue, wondering why the gossiping housewife was so eager to attribute blame to an otherwise natural event. A waitress approached Ajax's table, placing a teapot and a pair of clay cups. Ajax chuckled bashfully, acknowledging his own lack of social grace, as Zhongli filled both to the brim.
“A sea serpent? But when was the last time anyone saw one?”
“Haven’t you heard? Daiyu’s brother said he saw one when that foreign ship came in the other day. It was as big as a whale, he said!”
Ajax froze. Even though the conversation wasn't directed at him, he felt exposed.
“A whale?! So close to the harbor?”
“Yes! And one of those man-eating types. You know, like the ones Iron Tongue Tian talks about at Third-Round Knockout.”
“Oh... I wish my husband would move us further inland, but we can’t afford it. My poor Feng, growing up so close to the ocean... It's not good for his health. Or mine.”
Ajax clenched his teeth, trying to suppress the discomfort in his stomach. The women continued their gossip, unaware that one of those very sea creatures was listening in. He tried to focus on something else, anything else, but found more of the same.
“Make sure to wear your talisman to bed! It keeps the sea demons at bay!”
“Never trust a woman who is too pretty for you, sir. She could very well be a man-eating siren in disguise!”
These people were consumed by fear, poisoned by superstitions and rumors. Ajax couldn't help but feel frustrated and, in a way, disappointed. This new land, full of experiences, had already rejected him without giving him a chance.
Ajax wanted nothing more than to leave. He could reschedule. He didn't need to subject himself to the fearful gossip of ignorant people. But just as he motioned to rise, Zhongli cleared his throat.
“This place is rather crowded isn’t it?”
The mer looked up, meeting Zhongli's gaze once again. There was a reassuring look in his eyes, as if Zhongli understood exactly what Ajax was feeling. "Let us go somewhere quieter, shall we?"
Without questioning how Zhongli knew, Ajax nodded and followed him, unaware of the slight opening of his heart.
They dine at a fancy restaurant that evening, and after the bill is settled, Ajax shakes Zhongli’s hand before parting. The man’s grip is firm and strong, and their brief connection is enough to have the mer’s lips melt into a weak smile.
But he can’t ignore the slight burn of his hand caused by the obtrusive pendant dangling from Zhongli’s neck.
Their eyes match as Ajax looks back up.
“Childe, does something bother you?” Zhongli asks, using the codename the harbinger’s orders recommend he use while performing official duties. The brunette man tilts his head slightly, watching the mer’s expression carefully. Ajax finds this mannerism painfully endearing.
“I was just wondering why everyone wears these, Xiansheng,” Ajax comments, reaching out to lift the little wooden token into his palm. His skin sizzles through his glove, but Ajax ignores it; his reservations loosened by multiple glasses of customary osmanthus wine. “If the Liyuen people think such trinkets will stop a sea serpent or a man from drowning, they’re sorely mistaken.”
He knows his words are arrogant for a diplomat but the irritation of being so overtly rejected by this country has burrowed its way under the mer’s skin. Ajax expects a negative reaction; a lecture on Liyuen history, or yet another long-winded fairytale of monstrous sea creatures perhaps.
Instead, Zhongli gives him a chuckle, catching the harbinger off-guard.
“Those are just stories,” Zhongli relays with a kind smile. “Due to our long history of divine intervention by gods and monsters alike, the Liyuen people are traditionally superstitious. While I am sure there are many who realize the futility in such trinkets, there are others who so wholeheartedly believe in the myths that they have become fact.”
Ajax relates so much to this mindset—his own pod’s lifelong pilgrimage having been borne from legends as well. He’d always been taught that merfolk once dwelled in peace with humankind thousands of years ago, but limited resources, cultural disagreements, and vicious war put a stop to that—or so he and his siblings have been told. Merfolk gave up their more human features to live separately from the land dwellers, and as catastrophic events five hundred years ago ravaged Teyvat on land and created chasms down below, the mer isolated themselves further. Ajax thinks on how his own preconceptions of humankind might have made him just as wary to trust the Liyuen people as they were of him.
Ajax lets the pendant go.
“What do you think?” he asks.
“I think that there is little to be gained from condemning an entire population based on superstition and rumor.”
This answer warms Ajax’s heart a little bit.
Ajax settles into his new routine in Liyue. His quarters are small but functional. His office on the upper level of the Northland Bank, Snezhnaya’s multinational company and cover for Fatui operations within Liyue, is perfectly suited for his needs. His staff is attentive and skilled, and his connections are reliable and discreet. Even his business relationship with the funeral parlor is going swimmingly.
The only problem is… the weather.
The narwhal, better suited for colder climates, always feels on the edge of passing out or melting any time the humidity stuffs his lungs. Before he arrived, his intelligence brief warned him that Liyue was a mostly sub-tropical country, receiving mild winters, high humidity, and considerable sunshine. This type of climate is wonderful for the local flora, and the many beautiful rivers and pools that grace Liyue’s pastures, but it is practically a weapon to the mer trying to keep up the image that he is not a Snezhnayan sea creature in disguise.
During his first week, Ajax sends a letter back to the capital asking for issuance of something to help him cope with the unbearable heat. In response, Il Dottore sends him a package of cryo essential oils and heat shield potions. The vials help in the short term, but do not completely prevent his unwelcome transition back to his mer form when the heat and fatigue take him down. Ajax takes to discreetly utilizing his own ability to manipulate hydro to dampen his skin or cool his head as well, but these are simply balms short of a true remedy.
During the particularly warm winter, months into his deployment and after a particularly long morning of diplomatic meetings with the Qixing, Ajax hurries back to his quarters, hiding evidence of his waning disguise. He rushes in, throwing the door shut and locking it before running to the washroom to draw an ice-cold bath. Then, with little care for tidiness, he strips himself bare before falling into the tub and passing out like a snuffed candle.
Hours later, he wakes to the sound of obnoxious knocking.
Someone is incessantly banging on his apartment door, shrieking his name as if the building is on fire.
Perhaps it is .
Ajax scrambles to leave the tub when he falls flat on his face on a wet floor, not realizing he transformed in his sleep. His tail splashes down beside him, and he reaches for a towel to conceal himself as he wills his form to shift. It takes some effort, but he manages. Moments later, he opens the front door to see a very distraught staffer from Northland Bank.
“Lord Harbinger! Are you alright?!” The soldier yelps. “The whole floor is flooding, and you weren’t answering so—“
Her brain finally catches on to her superior’s water-logged appearance. She averts her eyes to the floor. Ajax doesn’t give her a chance to think of what to ask next.
“Report, Nadia.”
“Sir—um, the consultant from the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor asked me to pass on an invitation to join him for lunch tomorrow. A-at Third-Round Knockout at 1130.”
Ajax taps his foot impatiently on the wet floorboards. This midday invitation is poorly timed considering his current personal predicament and with Liyue being especially humid this time of year, but he cannot deny his interest in meeting with the one human in this paranoid country who seems to have any sense. Zhongli treats him as an equal, disregarding the negative rumors about the Fatui's presence in the harbor, and despite Ajax’s own resistance in sharing his true purpose and goals, Zhongli acts not at all perturbed by the secrecy. His intentions appear to be straightforward and sincere.
And, in truth, Ajax feels comfortable with Zhongli.
“Let him know I’ll be there. Dismissed.”
Ajax greets Zhongli from afar, and the older gentleman pulls out a seat to greet his guest. The consultant looks dapper in his elegant coat and leather gloves, perfect for Liyue’s colder months, but wholly contrasting with the mer who wears as little of his uniform as possible to adjust to the country’s heat. They settle into their private table and Zhongli prefaces their discussion by letting the harbinger know the meal is prix fixe.
“I wanted to return the favor for covering our meal at our first meeting, and many times since then,” Zhongli states, feigning customary shame. “I know this is only a drop in the ocean for how much you have provided me since our meeting, but I hope you receive it favorably along with my eternal appreciation.”
Ajax hides the butterflies fluttering in his stomach with a laugh.
“So, you’re paying today, Xiansheng?”
“Indeed I am. It is the very least I can do.”
Ajax thinks Zhongli has done much more for him in other ways.
Since his reassignment, the man has given him countless history and culture lessons to help him assimilate into Liyue. Zhongli’s taught him basic greetings and manners and has given him extensive tours of the country’s many distinct provinces. Ajax has even returned to some of these locations to map out pools of water where he can stretch his fins in privacy and away from the Millelith’s ever-leery eyes.
But most importantly, Zhongli has shown him no distrust.
Unlike the Tianquan, the Millelith, and other citizens wary of Fatui presence in Liyue Harbor, Zhongli treats the harbinger like an honored guest. He is patient and shares his knowledge as an ambassador of sorts, and Ajax pinches himself from time to time wondering how he ever lucked into meeting such a charitable man.
Ajax swallows dryly. The afternoon sun is already bearing down aggressively, and without glands to sweat from given his natural physiology, he orders another pitcher of water to their table only to guzzle it down by himself. When that hardly helps, he slips his last essential oil into his drink, hoping it’ll hold off the heat for at least the meal’s duration.
Zhongli regales his guest with a history lesson while they wait for their food—about past wars, Ajax’s favorite subject—and the mer tries his best to pay attention. But his mind wanders constantly.
To the feeling of the leather-like skin on the back of his neck, dried from the heat.
To the thumping of his heart, trying its hardest to keep blood flowing and cool his body down.
To the scent of fish wafting in from the nearby docks.
Ajax’s stomach groans loudly, and Zhongli pauses his narration. The two of them match stunned glances then laugh it off.
“Hahaha~ Sorry, Xiansheng. I had to skip breakfast this morning, so I’m a bit peckish.”
“Haha, that is quite alright. You are a remarkably busy man, but I hope you do not make a habit of skipping such essential meals,” Zhongli glances behind Ajax. “Ah, it looks like our food has arrived.”
Two waitresses approach the table and quickly fill the empty space with platters and bowls of Liyuen fare. Ajax drools from the appetizing aromas wafting into his nose, and he scans each plate for something that will sate his stomach. Impatience regarding hunger is not something he ever grew out of from his traumatic time in the Abyss, so every nerve from his toes to his fingertips itches to launch himself onto the meal before him. But he maintains control.
At least, he does until…
“As they say in Fontaine: Bon appétit ,” Zhongli says with a flourish.
Ajax looks up with a modicum of concern. “Is there no meat?”
Zhongli scans the table then raises a hand to his chin.
“Ah, the hostess did mention the prix fixe meal today was meant to highlight local vegetation given the recent harvest season. Is this…not to your liking?”
Zhongli tilts his head with an expression that has Ajax swallowing his disappointment like a bitter pill.
“N-no, Xiansheng. I’m sure it’ll be delicious. Let’s just dig in, yeah?”
Zhongli smiles, relieved.
“Yes, let’s.”
Zhongli resumes his history lesson as Ajax continues to suffer unbeknownst to his host. Ajax graciously consumes the vegetarian dishes in front of him, but nothing satisfies. It feels empty of substance, like air in a bubble.
And the afternoon sun is still unmercifully hot. The mer sheds his coat and tosses it over his chair, venting his shirt to allow more air to flow in. He even scouts for the chillier dishes and consumes them like a starved man, savoring the slight reprieve they give him.
But it’s not enough.
Zhongli watches as Ajax sits back and fans himself with the restaurant’s drink menu.
“I see you have not acclimated to Liyue’s heat as of yet,” the older man teases with a smile.
“Not yet,” Ajax exhales, “my country is quite a bit colder than this. The sun may come out, but it never warms the water. We’ve grown hardier because of the cold, which makes being here rather…exhausting.”
Zhongli hums considerately, but something else catches his attention. He rises from his seat and steps towards Ajax, hovering over him and eyeing him closely. Ajax pauses his fanning to look up at the consultant shading him.
“What’s up, Xian—?“
Zhongli grabs both his cheeks and rubs his thumbs against them. Ajax drops the menu.
The harbinger freezes in place as Zhongli continues to rub his cheeks in small circles, and with some mortification, even licks one of his thumbs to give it another go. Despite the slight burn of their contact, Ajax dares not to move. Ajax’s heart thuds like a beating drum in his chest, and his eyes stare wide at the man focused on some secret mission he hasn’t shared. After moments of tense connection, Zhongli sighs, a little forlorn.
“Hm, that’s strange…”
“Sorry?”
Zhongli gives Ajax’s left cheek another gentle swipe of his thumb.
“The dirt,” he relays, “it is not coming off.”
Ajax flinches.
Oh, Leviathan—his spots are showing.
The mer quickly slaps his hands over his cheeks, flushing. He can still feel his skin prickling from what he thought was Zhongli’s pendant at work but is really his failing disguise. His hold on his human form is coming undone, and he is in the worst place possible to have it happen.
In the middle of Liyue Harbor with Zhongli as his witness.
Ajax stands abruptly.
“S-sorry, Xiansheng. I just remembered. I have to be somewhere like— now .”
He gathers his coat and drags his collar over his face in a rush, and Zhongli rises to meet him.
“Oh, I apologize for taking up your time, Childe. I should have inquired your staff if you had sufficient time before planning this arrangement.”
"No, no, Xiansheng. It's not your fault. I should do a better job of tracking my schedule.”
They exchange bows and Ajax takes off towards the bank with his proverbial tail between his legs. He feels terrible for leaving Zhongli behind, but despite how comfortable he is with the consultant, he knows he isn’t ready to share his most guarded secret.
The next time they meet comes weeks later, after the beginning of the new year.
Liyue Harbor seems to be preparing for some big event. Ships come and go more than usual, and the relaxed nature of the merchant city feels charged with a new fervor. Children run about the streets, testing out bright and colorful paper kites, while merchants line the docks with stands as far as the eye can see. If he were home, Ajax would think this as big as his pod’s coming of age event—one that he was unfortunately deprived of due to his ‘incident.’ The harbinger finally asks his staff, wherein his executive officer informs him of the upcoming Lantern Rite: a lunar festival meant to honor Liyuen heroes and harken their return home.
“Family and friends gather for meals and visit the harbor. Businesses shut down and the whole week is meant to be spent in celebration. Even we close the bank and partake, Master Childe.”
The time off is warranted, he supposes. Their mission in Liyue is progressing sufficiently and his plan to steal the Geo God’s gnosis is well on its way. He finishes penning some orders when Nadia enters his office to deliver a letter. He turns it over to see the recognizable stamp from none other than the funeral parlor consultant.
An invitation to join him at the docks for some shopping.
Ajax covers a simper. Only Zhongli would send a formally addressed letter for an invitation to hang out. The trait is so strange but endearing, and Ajax asks himself once again: How in Teyvat is this man still unattached?
He clears his schedule for the date.
The consultant stands out as usual, looking out of place amongst the grizzled dockworkers and hurried tradesmen going about their day. Ajax waves to him from afar before trotting across the bridge and meeting him slightly out of breath. Fortunately, the harbor breeze alleviates the uncomfortable heat common on such days—a small mercy for Ajax considering their last lunch date.
“I hope I didn’t make you wait too long!”
Zhongli shakes his head.
“You did nothing of the sort, Childe.”
The harbinger adjusts his appearance before looking at the new accessory over the consultant's shoulder: a large shopping bag. Apparently, Zhongli reads the question written on his face.
"After my blunder at Third-Round Knockout, I was determined to make amends. I conducted some research and gathered inputs from customers, discovering that fish is a staple in the Snezhnayan diet. So, I thought I could show you around to buy some local seafood today.”
The consultant gestures towards the bustling fish market, which is only a short walk away. Ajax can already smell the marine aroma in the air, nearly losing focus on the matter at hand.
“You…thought about me?”
The question comes out more tender than he intended, but Zhongli simply chuckles, nodding his head.
"Of course, Childe. We are friends by now, are we not?"
The label sends a warm feeling through Ajax's chest, and he can't help but beam at the older man. His first ‘friend.’ Ajax lifts the shopping bag from Zhongli’s arm.
"Lead the way, Xiansheng."
The market is alive with people haggling over prices and fresh catches. Perhaps it is the festival’s fast approach that causes such business, but the crowd’s movements force the duo to stay close—nearly shoulder to shoulder—to prevent getting lost, not that Ajax minds. Amidst the chaos, Zhongli navigates with ease, his knowledge of the local vendors and their specialties evident. Side-by-side, Zhongli regales Ajax with the origins of Liyue’s fish trade and the family histories of every stall they visit. Each shopkeep seems to know the consultant on sight, offering fare at substantially low prices, but rather than haggle himself, he steps aside to let the harbinger do so in his stead.
Ajax’s natural charisma combined with the esteemed consultant’s introduction seem to do wonders for their shopping experience. The mer negotiates prices, buys multiple catches, and even receives a few on the house from vendors too charmed by the pair. Ajax's mood lifts with every successful transaction, and for a while, he begins to think that perhaps Liyue isn’t quite so unpleasant after all.
“Xiansheng! Care for some eel? Fresh from Inazuma!”
A shopkeeper summons the consultant, brandishing a live eel. But to everyone’s surprise, Zhongli recoils as though presented with a knife to his heart, his face blanching at the sight of the writhing creature. He stumbles backward and Ajax promptly catches him, keeping them both steady on their feet. Zhongli recovers, placing a gloved hand over his lips curled in disgust. He waves a dismissive hand at the merchant.
"N-no thank you, boss. I do not care much for seafood.”
The pair continue their journey through the market in an uncomfortable silence. Ajax observes Zhongli, who has grown quiet and pensive since the incident. The older man’s shoulders are tense, despite his arms resting behind his back. His steps are deliberate and rigid, losing the ease and relaxation of his usual gait.
"Are you sure you're alright, Xiansheng?" Ajax finally breaks the silence. "You don't seem like yourself."
Zhongli nods, keeping his eyes lowered and offering a small smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.
“I am fine, Childe. I was just…reminded of a rather unsavory memory.”
“Related to eels?”
"Something of the sort. I do not visit the fish market very often to avoid reminders of that dreadful experience.”
Ajax bites the inside of his mouth.
That reaction was not one of simple disgust. It was instinctive—ingrained—like the fear impressed on mer kind towards the Abyss.
The consultant certainly doesn’t seem like the conciliatory sort, and Ajax doesn’t get the impression Zhongli would lie outright. Yet, his behavior today seems rather off-putting.
Doubt stirs into a frenzy within Ajax as he forcibly resists a frown. He shifts the shopping bag, filled with fish, to his other shoulder, away from Zhongli.
When they reach the end of the market, Ajax thanks Zhongli for the trip, then they part ways. The consultant appears to want to speak more, but Ajax misses it, instead burdened with a terrible thought. The mer’s mind is unfocused, overwhelmed by catastrophizing scenarios, as he ignores the festival crowds and walks back to his quarters. He fixates on the possibility that the one 'friend' he may have is only pretending—that Zhongli is just like the rest of Liyue, either afraid of or disgusted by the sea and his kind.
It’s just like his family and the Fatui all over again.
Ajax enters his home and stuffs the shopping bag into his icebox before shedding his clothes, ready to literally drown his sorrows in his bathtub. However, when he turns the knob, the faucet only lets out a pathetic wheeze.
The mer slaps his forehead.
Of course, building maintenance. His executive officer would be disappointed if she knew the harbinger only paid half attention to her briefings most mornings.
He is quickly caught in a cloud of despair.
It was naive to think that the consultant would warmly welcome him into a place with such deep roots in superstition and fear. And perhaps the Liyuen people are right—Ajax is certainly not to be trusted either. He is a foreign agent feigning as a diplomat with goals to steal from their fair and just god. He may wear a human skin and promise innocence, but if they ever knew the truth, they’d reject him outright.
Ajax’s forehead throbs with pain as his human disguise begins to wane. The black horn that always brought him shame parts his ginger bangs—another symbol of how he will never be accepted by either side. He wonders if the foul color of his horn is a sign of his own dirtied soul.
Ajax knows he is doing wrong, but what choice is there? If he does not have Pulcinella and the Fatui, where else will he go?
Ajax hugs himself as his body subconsciously draws moisture from the air, collecting it at his fingertips. The hydro that he’d usually form into blades in battle instead form a protective bubble, encasing him within an amorphous shield. It lifts him off the ground as he hugs his knees and floats in the makeshift pool, and in his gloom, he lets himself go. His skin returns to its silver hide, and his tail—torn and scarred—replaces his human legs. The water around him shimmers with his tears, as his body releases all of the tension he’s carried these many months since his deployment; the loneliness he’s hidden even from himself finally catching up in this moment of vulnerability.
In this tiny bubble in the heart of a hostile land, he is truly and utterly alone.
Hours later, a knock wakes Ajax from his slumber…
“Childe, are you home?”
…and to his horror, it is Zhongli.
Ajax remains deathly silent as he watches the door handle jiggle then stop. His heart thumps a mile a minute as he briefly contemplates transforming and escaping through the window when the consultant’s voice on the other side calls once again.
“I wish to apologize for repeatedly ruining our engagements as of late. If you would allow, I’d like to speak to you directly to convey my true intentions.”
Ajax says nothing. He huddles in his watery sanctuary, listening with painful apprehension for the voice on the other side of the door. The mer hopes the human will simply give up and leave, but based on the feverish footsteps pacing just outside, it seems Zhongli has something weighing heavily on his mind.
"Whether you are present to listen or not, I have resolved that I must say what I have come to say.”
“I…am not the most observant man. That is to say, I see , but I do not always understand , especially when it comes to others’ emotions. I am aware of this shortcoming of mine. I find it easier to explain myself now rather than continue damaging what I believe to be a growing friendship. If I have become a nuisance to you or perhaps overbearing in some way, that was certainly not my intention.”
Ajax hears a quiet thump upon the door.
"I value the time we have spent together and wish to get to know you better. Therefore, to make amends and to prove to you my sincerity, my greatest wish is to invite you to accompany me to Lantern Rite.”
Ajax swallows a painful lump in his throat.
Zhongli wants to be with him for the festival?
His heart aches as he listens to Zhongli’s outpouring of emotions, unaware that he hears every word and understands. The bitter loneliness that latched onto the poor mer’s heart since he was abandoned on the ice…c ould Zhongli understand it too?
Ajax envisions slipping out of his bubble and opening his front door. He imagines Zhongli approaching him cautiously, then kneeling down and reaching out to touch his cool, grey skin. He pictures Zhongli's wise, amber eyes crinkling above a warm and welcoming smile.
Then a single word spills from Zhongli’s lips:
“Monster.”
Ajax wakes from his daydream. He remembers why he isolates himself from others in the first place:
He is not human.
He is barely even a mer.
Since the Abyss stole his youth and transformed him, he is nothing but a bloodthirsty, aberrant monster.
Ajax waits in anxious silence until he hears the consultant leave his doorway. As night descends on the harbor, he sneaks out to seek solace at the only place that brings him genuine peace: the sea. It’s too dangerous to simply dive at the pier, but he luckily recalls another way to escape: Zhongli had once pointed out a hidden grotto during one of their walks, nestled beneath a weathered cliff, far from the bustling harbor. Ignoring the strange golden lights illuminating the city’s sky, Ajax heads towards the secluded grotto, determined to clear his mind and heart.
The cavernous, seaside cave is a godsend. Quiet and empty, Ajax tears off his uniform and dives into the pool to shed his mortal disguise and embrace his true form. The seawater, though warmer than he’s used to, offers comfort, soothing his weary soul as he glides through the depths. With each stroke of his tail, the weight of his loneliness begins to feel fathoms away. In his element, Ajax can forget others’ fear or judgement, and he can simply be one with the sea.
He considers what life would be like if others understood what it was like to be in his place.
To be exiled from family, to be adopted into a Machiavellian society, and to be feared despite having no ill intent towards the humans uninvolved in his mission. Ajax wonders what the old world must have been like. Did mer and humankind coexist peacefully before war and the calamity tore them apart? Did they fear or resent each other’s differences, or did they work together as a community?
Ajax considers that, perhaps, he was born in the wrong place and time.
He was always different from the rest of his pod. He sought out adventure and excitement and was far too curious about Teyvat for a narwhal. The elders scolded his parents for spoiling him, but Ajax believes his hunger for heroism runs deeper than that. He’s always felt a tug at his heart—a calling—to embark on something greater than himself.
That call took him to the Abyss. It took him to the Snezhnayan capital.
Then, it took him here, to Liyue.
Ajax reclines, floating in the depths of the grotto, contemplating whether the Liyue of old would have accepted him. The consultant’s fables tell of magic-imbued adepti, of dragons and shapeshifters, of a god representing war and order. Would Rex Lapis have welcomed Ajax? Before the sea serpents of legend ravaged his land, would He have acknowledged Ajax’s adventurous and loyal heart? Would He have regarded him not as an adversary, but as a friend?
‘Friend.’
Zhongli referred to him as such earlier today, and the title still stings.
How could Zhongli consider him a friend, when he’s done nothing but lie about his identity and his goals?
But the consultant’s words at his door seemed genuine. The pain in Zhongli’s heart resonated with Ajax’s own, and the mer considers:
What harm would it be to allow him in, even just a little?
To lower his defenses and trust that, maybe, the consultant would genuinely accept him for who he truly is. He doesn't have to reveal every detail—just enough to test the waters and see if he can find true friendship.
Small steps. Just one will do.
Yes, he can start with Zhongli.
Ajax emerges from the water with a renewed sense of determination, prepared to confront the uncertain prospect of venturing beyond his shell. He reaches the shore of the grotto and pulls himself up.
But his eyes widen when he catches sight of the bright full moon suspended high in the Liyuen sky.
Zhongli strolls along the festival walkways, filled with bustling citizens in search of food and entertainment. Families delight in crafting and illuminating their ceremonial lanterns, while couples share tender moments beneath the first full moon of the year. Zhongli takes in the atmosphere, the music, and the laughter, but his mind keeps drifting back to another.
He regrets failing to invite Childe directly.
He’s tried so hard to make his intentions known—that he feels a sort of kinship with the Snezhnayan diplomat. Perhaps something more. The redhead's smile brings a smile to his own lips. He finds the man funny, charming, and incredibly pleasant to be around. Despite their clear differences, Zhongli feels a connection to Childe, as if the frozen sea brought the young man to fill an empty void within himself.
The Lantern Rite festival should have been the perfect opportunity to deepen their connection. Selfishly, the older man wanted to showcase the best of Liyue to Childe, and hopefully break down the defenses Childe clearly still hid behind despite Zhongli's repeated efforts to reach him.
Perhaps he’d come on too strong. Perhaps he’d somehow offended the harbinger without realizing it.
Zhongli's mind races, questioning whether his attempts to understand the man were all in vain.
“Make a wish, dear!”
A mother nearby instructs her daughter to follow through a Lantern Rite tradition. The little girl writes her wish on a stone and adds it to her lantern, then her mother helps her release it into the sky. Zhongli watches as the paper lantern floats higher and higher, joining its brethren and sparkling like stars.
He releases a long sigh, recognizing that there is only one other he wishes to share this sight with.
Zhongli swiftly turns on his heel and leaves the festival grounds in search of him.
Ajax's claws dig into the grotto walls as a blinding pain sears through him during his forced transformation. The warm waters that once brought him comfort now feel nearly boiling against his shifting form, now warping and staining black and white. A storm rages within him, and with a mighty roar, he unleashes his abyssal form in all its terrifying glory. He gnashes his large maw of ghastly teeth. The water around him churns and swirls as he thrashes about, the waves crashing against the cave walls.
With his annual transformation complete, Ajax pounds his armored head against the grotto’s walls in anger.
“WHY?!” He screams in agony. “WHY NOW?! Why, when I’m finally ready?!”
Hot tears flood from his single azure eye, cascading down his red mask and falling into the sea. He cries out in despair as he repeatedly pounds his head against the wall.
“Oh Leviathan, what have a done to deserve this?”
All of his loneliness, fears, and despair come pouring out in a tantrum that he never allowed himself to have. He’s finally found the courage to share himself with another, yet again, fate denies him that chance.
“Who am I kidding?” He cries. He claws at his chest as his heart aches with wretched pain. Images of his lost family, snide looks from the other Harbingers, and the imagined disturbed expression of Zhongli cross his mind. “Who could ever accept me like this?!”
“I could.”
Ajax whips around to see a witness at a distance, their golden eyes piercing through the darkness like tiny lanterns. Similar to Pulcinella a decade past, the stranger seems more fascinated than frightened. He walks through the shallow part of the grotto's waters until it reaches his knees. Just before the light of the moon, he pauses.
The whale stares, transfixed. His body trembles with adrenaline and pain, an involuntary urge to fight or flee coursing through his nerves. His unblinking eye scrutinizes the uninvited observer, searching for weaknesses and contemplating how he could tear the man apart, limb from limb. But his heart holds him back—still compassionate and kind like the narwhal he was raised to be—waiting for what this human intends.
The stranger steps forward. The moonlight finally spotlights his witness, and Ajax is awed and terrified to see it is Zhongli.
The whale retreats as he shields his face with his arms.
"G-go away! Xiansheng, you’re not safe here!” Ajax detects the protective charm around Zhongli's neck and tenses. Its power, even now, repels him. “The only thing keeping me from killing you is that ward. Go now, before I test if it’s enough.”
"I will not. I will stay," the consultant asserts, stubbornly wading closer. "I am not afraid of you, Childe, and if it means anything, I will prove it to you through action.”
Zhongli rips the wood and jade talisman from the loop around his neck and crushes it in his gloved palm, grinding it into dust.
The atmosphere in the grotto instantly changes. The air feels electrified, like a thunderstorm trapped in a bottle. With all barriers between them gone, Ajax finds himself torn. He yearns for Zhongli to touch him— embrace him —and tell him everything will be okay. However, a darker part of him craves violence. The selfsame hunger that helped him survive the Abyss now begs for him to taste human flesh. Droplets of hydro gather in the mer’s palms, taking on the shape of blades, as he teeters on the edge of sanity.
All the while, Zhongli watches him from afar.
“From the way you wield the ocean in your hands, and can take humanoid form…am I correct in assuming you descend from merfolk?”
“I could have said that once,” Ajax answers truthfully, “but I don’t know what I am now. I’m an abomination. A monster.”
"Do not address yourself as such," the consultant orders sternly, but his eyes only reflect kindness. "I do not see a monster, but another side of you.” The man looks him up and down. “Have you been hiding this long?”
“Always,” the whale answers bitterly. “I had no choice. The people of Liyue fear me. The Fatui merely tolerate me. Even my own fam—”
He chokes up.
“My own mother and father. My siblings and cousins. They left me to die on the ice. I’m unclean , Zhongli. Cursed by the Abyss. It was my own fault, and I must live with it. My only purpose now is to be useful to others, else… why do I exist?”
Ajax drops his weapons into the water before bowing his head, losing himself to despair. He lets his tears fall silently, grieving from years of loss, as Zhongli waits patiently. Ajax contemplates running away again, abandoning his mission to find another place to call home.
But what would be the point?
There is no one to turn to, no one who can understand the burden he carries. The weight of his existence threatens to crush him, leaving him feeling ruined. He wanted to become a hero, once upon a time, yet here he is: the despicable villain.
"May I offer a second opinion?”
Ajax looks up at Zhongli. The man's eyes narrow above a warm smile, and despite his fears, Ajax gives in. The whale sinks into the water and swims slowly towards the consultant, dragging his large body onto the shore just beside him. Ajax trembles as he watches Zhongli approach, unsure of how he will react. But to his surprise, the consultant doesn't flinch as he motions for Ajax's hand. Ajax lowers his massive palm, and Zhongli holds it gently in his. His small, gloved fingers feel out the wrinkles, and glide over the claws on each fingertip.
Zhongli quietly hums in consideration and moves on.
He then focuses on the whale's arms and shoulders—broad and muscular, but also bearing scars from years of battles in the depths of the ocean and failed Fatui missions. Zhongli carefully examines each mark with his eyes and hands, studying Ajax's body like a magnificent tapestry displayed in a prestigious museum. Feeling bashful under his gaze, the mer hides his face in his arms as the human takes in every inch of him.
His ugly, torn fins.
The black and white spots akin to his species’ deadliest predator.
The horn on his forehead that betrays his maligned nature.
All things Ajax hates about himself. Things he can’t help but endure, as fate dictated.
He grimaces, thinking of all the horrid things Zhongli must think of him now. How ugly and frightening, and much like the boogeymen the Liyuen storytellers tell their children at night. He is a demon from the darkness, an enemy from across the sea. There is nothing redeeming about him, and he expects nothing but rejection from a man as handsome and well-loved as Zhongli.
But the human pulls Ajax out of hiding as he tilts his head up to face him. The mer is forced to stare, unblinking, as Zhongli places a warm palm on the surface of his crimson mask.
“I see nothing unclean about your person,” the man voices with clear sincerity. “I see a survivor; a body forged by the challenges you’ve faced. Every scar is a testament to your tenacity. The fact that you are alive now is proof that you, yourself, still have the will to live.”
Ajax swallows. He’s heard many compliments before—from Pulcinella and from the Cryo Goddess herself. He never felt deserving of them as they always seemed like empty words. But coming from Zhongli , they hold a weight that clings to his heart and soul, and Ajax finds that he aches for more.
“You are more than how others have seen or treated you, Childe,” Zhongli continues. “Over these months, I’ve learned that you are a courageous and adaptable man; hungry for knowledge and a challenge, yet also harboring a compassionate and caring heart.”
“How can you be so sure, Xiansheng?” Childe replies, ready to cast away these praises. “How do you know I’m not lying to you. Pretending to be someone I’m not just to get close? How do you know I won’t destroy you if you let me in?”
Zhongli shakes his head.
“Ask yourself the same. Have you been pretending to get close to me? Have you been planning to bring me to ruin?”
The mer unhesitatingly denies it. His heart stings at the thought of it.
“No. Never. You’re…my friend.”
Ajax’s response prompts a smile on Zhongli’s face.
“See?” The consultant’s hand smooths the surface of the mer’s mask. “That is the real you.”
Ajax butts his head against Zhongli’s shoulder, bracing himself against the flood of emotions overwhelming him. Zhongli’s kindness and understanding tears him open, leaving him exposed to the reality that at least one person on this planet does not see him as a terrible creature, but as a likeable person.
Beneath all of these grotesque layers, the kind little narwhal exists, nonetheless.
This devastation leaves the mer in shambles, shuddering against Zhongli’s chest.
"Though, if I may confess one thing..." Ajax looks up to see Zhongli's eyes averted, as he does when he is considering a worthwhile decision. "I have a reason for understanding your plight.”
His eyes meet the whale’s, displaying an ambivalence and an expression unlike anything Ajax has ever seen on the man. Zhongli guides the other’s arms to lower onto the sand as he leans closer.
“Will you carry me in?”
Ajax nods as he allows the consultant to sit in his arms, and he hears Zhongli take a deep breath before they dive in. The mer cradles the man close as they go deeper, but when they reach the grotto’s floor, something unexpected occurs.
The body in Ajax's arms becomes heavy. Too quickly, Zhongli becomes too much to carry and slips from the mer's fingers, much to his dismay. Ajax panics and tries to catch him, but instead, a long, serpentine body pulls him back up. He spins around and finds himself face-to-face with a bronze dragon—golden maned and glorious, its scales shimmering in the moonlight from the ocean's surface above. Its long torso and legs wrap around Ajax, creating what one could call a hug.
The creature's sharp amber eyes meet his, and Ajax connects everything.
Rex Lapis. Lord of Geo. Strong, wise, and fair. Eyes of gold, unchanging over millennia.
Zhongli. His guide. Kind and understanding. Accepting all he is; his comfort outside the frozen sea.
He is one and the same , alone in His duty and hiding among His people. A mutual fate shared by the mer in His grasp.
Ajax feels caught between gratitude and reverence for the god before him. He reaches out, though he struggles to find the words to express the immense relief he feels. The dragon responds by pulling him in tighter and resting its head on the mer’s shoulder with a gentle hum.
“If anyone understands your loneliness, Childe, it is I,” Zhongli says in Ajax’s mind. “If anyone feels your pain, I feel it as well. Share with me your burdens and I shall share with you your value, for to me, you are desired above even the most lustrous jade.”
Ajax holds the dragon tightly as they rest on the ocean floor. Understanding the significance of Zhongli in his life, Ajax knows his mission is now forfeit. Yet, the loss carries no worth, as the reward he now possesses is far greater.
These two creatures, intertwined and uplifted by each other’s presence, find solace under the light of the year's first moon. And in that moment, for the first time since the little narwhal found himself abandoned on the ice, he finally feels like he knows where he belongs.