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Roier was lying on his bed, his gaze focused on the ceiling, but his thoughts were in a more distant place.
The thing is, he made recurring jokes to keep his thoughts from wandering to other points, but there were times when he couldn't help himself.
Tonight was one of those, one where the deepest questions confronted him face-to-face.
What should love feel like?
When he was younger (been influenced by fiction), he thought love should feel wild, not let you breathe, feel you falling apart for the person you love as they build you up.
Love should be fiery red, passionate, and suffocating.
Cellbit made it feel that way; being with him was daring, a challenge at every step, and mistakes and successes in every day together. surprising, adventurous, and incredible.
He looked to his right at that brown hair with its unkempt white locks. That was the man he loved so deeply, the one he would follow in every step he chose to take, no matter how risky.
But even with the passion the love between them built slowly, he could name every moment that made him fall more and more for the man he called his husband.
Roier allowed himself to adore the sight of Cellbit sleeping so peacefully before turning to the weight on his left side.
On that side, he found himself with black hair, disheveled due to the constant use of his cap, a face that even in sleep was tense, and small wings framing the angles that made up that face he loved.
Love with Quackity was so peaceful, even with his impulsive personality, which some would consider unromantic.
Unlike his husband, things with Quackity were natural; in a matter of weeks, it felt like they had known each other for years, like they were meant to be together.
Neither had thought of themselves as a romantic relationship; they had let the connection between them grow without worrying about it.
Because somehow Roier and Quackity were something that was meant to happen, being together was as natural as breathing, and the conversation flowed between them as if they had had hundreds of them before and their feelings...
Oh, the feelings
His heart wasn't racing in the same way it had with Cellbit; the nerves were uncharacteristic the moment he looked at the duck hybrid, and there wasn't a hint of doubt as to whether their place was together.
Where Cellbit was adventure, Quackity was comfort, and there was adversity to being together, he found peace in knowing they understood each other. Where there were endless risks, he found peace to settle into.
There were no specific moments that made him fall in love with Quackity; it was just something that was there, just like the sun in the morning and the stars at night.
If loving Cellbit was red, then loving Quackity was golden.
One was passion and total surrender, and the other was compassion and balance.
"O que você está fazendo acordado a esta hora?" Cellbit's husky, slightly sulky voice spoke; his Gatinho had a knack for noticing when thoughts were drowning him out.
"Sorry, Gatinho, I didn't mean to wake you." He started to move to look Cellbit face-to-face, but felt his arms squeeze him even tighter to prevent that movement.
"So you wanted to wake me up?" Quackity's voice was choppy and raspy; he gave away that he was just waking up.
"I didn't want to wake any of you up, ducky," he commented as he returned to his original position.
"Seus pensamentos estavam muito altos; é claro que eles nos acordaram." Cellbit's legs were entangled between his; for some reason, Cellbit always had cold legs while sleeping, so the position was normal between them.
""Do you want to talk about it?"" Quackity's arms pressed him gently, just enough to remind him that he was there.
And that only brought him back to his nightly thoughts, so intrusive and hard to go away.
"How did you...? Well, I was thinking about what love must feel like."
Cellbit looked at him seriously, and Quackity let out an amused snort.
"Is that what made you wake us up?"
"Well, you guys asked me what I thought so much." A slight awkwardness set in as he thought about the repercussions of relieving his current dilemma; he didn't want any of them to misunderstand the situation.
"Rsta é a minha opinião pouco profissional." Cellbit's voice cut the silence before they even noticed this. "Más acho que o amor deveria ser exatamente como estamos agora."
"Awake in the wee hours of the morning?"
"Together." It was Quackity's turn to speak; however, instead of adding more to the sentence, he only snuggled more against him, ready to sleep again. Cellbit just nodded at the words and followed Quackity's example of snuggling more.
''Love should feel like lying in your bed, warm and quiet, completely ready to sleep?
''That's a good answer for now'' he said to himself, feeling his eyelids start to get heavy.
Though feeling now in the midst of that warmth that was lying next to his husband and boyfriend, Roier said that yes, feeling like this every night was the clearest form of love he could think of.
''At least for now, that's how love is supposed to feel' was his last thought before falling asleep.