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Lights flashing. Buildings swimming by, people passing in an out of his barely functioning vision, pain (and lack thereof) blinding him. He could feel the vibrations of a loud, booming voice, but he couldn’t put a name to it. He heard gunshots being fired and cameras clicking open, but he couldn’t tell where he was or remember who was taking him there. It was an overwhelming feeling of useless, of confusion, of hopelessness. And he couldn’t even remember why. He was barely conscious when he dropped like a brick to the ground, possibly in Star Labs. He could feel his mind start to fade, but before he completely lost consciousness, he saw and heard a familiar silhouette scream his name. He thought of Iris and that was the last thing he remembered before going unconscious.
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Barry slowly awoke in a hospital bed. He tried moving his head up, but something was in the way. A neck brace. It came back to him now. At least, a faint memory of what happened came back. He remembered losing to Zoom, and Zoom paraded him around te city like a trophy. A bloody, injured, useless trophy. Barry groaned, but he wasn’t sure if was because of the stiffness in his limbs or because of the indelible emotional pain he had endured the night before.
“Barry, oh my god. You’re awake.” Iris nearly shouted. She set a steaming coffee mug down on the table across the room and rushed over. “I’ve got to call Ci – ”
“No, no, not yet,” Barry managed to mumble, despite his muddled thoughts. He pushed himself into a seated position. “How long was I out?”
Iris sat down on the edge of the bed, putting her hand comfortingly on Barry’s right thigh. “A few days. I don’t know if you can remember, but you took quite the beating.”
Barry nodded in response, but there was only one thing on his mind. He couldn’t feel his legs. It was the strangest thing. He could see her hand on his leg, but there was no feeling. “I…I can’t feel my legs.”
Iris looked at him, completely confused. “What do you mean exactly?”
“I mean, I know you’re touching my leg, there’s no doubt about that, but if I wasn’t sitting up right now I’d…I’d have no idea that your hand was even there.” Barry didn’t know what to think. He’d obviously never been in this situation before, and his thoughts were racing a million miles a minute, immediately jumping to the worst-case scenarios. “Can you get up for a sec?”
Iris warily stood up. She watched Barry curiously as he peeled the sheets off the bed. As if he were touching glass, he moved his legs one at a time so they were dangling off the bed. He was hoping beyond hope that maybe, just maybe, if he stood up, the feeling in his legs would come back. At the last moment, after glancing up and seeing a very concerned look on Iris’s face, he decided against trying. Barry rubbed his hands nervously on the side of his head and looked away, trying to pretend that he was anywhere else than this. In any condition other than this.
“Barry…” Iris leaned down so she was eye-level with her friend, putting her hands on his shoulders. She swore his eyes were redder than normal, and she knew he was trying to keep himself together in front of her, to no avail. He was falling apart by the second; there was no doubt about it. “It’s okay. It’ll all be okay.”
He looked her right in the eye, collapsed into her shoulder, and wrapped his arms around her waist. Iris could feel him trembling with all his attempts to hide his utter misery, and the fears wracking his mind. “It’ll all be okay, Barry. I know it.”