Work Text:
Happy Stabby Camp Adventure by thatvampiregirlie
Once there was this super cute girl called Hoga Timiko who had the bestest fashion sense in the whole wide world. She always wore the softest cardigan ever over her middle school uniform. Her second best friend Ibad would always tell her she looked stupid because according to him “what kinda seventeen-year-old middle school dropout still wears a uniform?”
But what does Ibad know? Apparently, he quit school when he was like thirteen or whatever so it isn’t like he’s one to talk. Also, his trenchcoat is terrible! The fabric is so dark you wouldn’t be able to see any blood stains on it. At least, Ibad’s staples glistened with pretty blood if he overused his quirk so he had one redeeming thing going for his appearance.
Other than that Ibad kind of looked like a burnt chicken nugget. When Timiko told Ibad that he got all huffy and claimed that at least he didn’t look like a flaming hot Cheeto like his dad. Timiko told him that didn’t count because Ibad was already old which meant that Ibad’s dad must have been ancient and extra-old people never looked good. Timiko wasn’t even inclined to drink old people’s blood even if she had a bad case of the munchies. After all, it probably tasted stale.
Then, Ibad said he at least looked better than his little brother. I don’t trust him on that though because he claimed his brother looked like a chimera and refused to explain what that mega fancy word meant when I asked.
See Ibad, this is why you don’t get the title of Timiko’s BFF!!
Anyway, one night Timiko went to summer camp with Ibad and their friend Bin who was Timiko’s bestest friend in the whole wide world because unlike Ibad Bin wasn’t a mean poopyhead who told Timiko to stop hoarding knives. In fact, Bin was such a good bestie that he would make Timiko copies of her blades with his quirk.
The copied knives would dissolve of course – but hey, it’s the thought that counts.
At the summer camp, Timiko hoped that the camp would be just like the movies and that she would be able to have a whirlwind summer romance. And guess what? She was in luck! As soon as she stepped out from behind the trees, a gorgeous girl with deep green hair made a beeline for her.
Asu tried to lasso her tongue around Timiko which made Timiko super hyped. No one had ever tried to kiss her that way before. Timiko couldn’t wait until Asu got close enough so she could stab and turn into her. Imagine just how much blood Timiko would be able to lick up with a tongue like that!
With Asu bouncing toward her, Timiko felt her heart skip a beat. She’d seen enough amazing Hallmark movies and Netflix originals to know exactly what she was experiencing. It was undeniably love at first sight! And based on how Asu’s beady eyes stared back at her, Timiko knew that Asu felt the exact same way.
The second Timiko batted her luminescent golden eyes at Asu, the two of them made out passionately. Asu told Timiko she liked her sweater and Timiko let her wear it because that was just how sweet and nice of a makeout partner she was. Afterward, Timiko bit Asu’s tongue and the blood was more refreshing than anything Timiko had tasted before. Timiko vowed to indulge in cold-blooded treats more often.
Still, Timiko wasn’t prepared to give up warm blood just yet. Not when she had spotted a flicker of soft warm skin shining through the summer camp’s forest.
Uchako stepped out from behind the trees and glared at Asu with jealousy – probably because she wanted to kiss Timiko too. Snickering, Timiko approached Uchako and bit back a remark about how she had two hands. After all, she only had one mouth to kiss with. So her girls would just have to be patient and take turns.
Timiko leaned in with the sort of adorable smile that made Uchako blush. Though honestly, it was kinda totes hard to tell because Uchako’s pretty little cheeks are always rosy and make her look flushed. Oh my gosh, she’s so cute it’s impossible to put into words!
Then, Timiko stabbed everyone, drank all their yummy blood and turned into all the people she loved. She even got to feel the pain of Mzuku who had completely shattered his bones yet again, and it was a very interesting time being in his body. Mzuku told Timiko he loved her because she rocked the broken arms look even better than he did.
After everyone had been stabbed, Timiko stored their blood in a nifty little belt Ibad had gotten her so she would have more snacks for later. She decided as a thank-you for the belt that she would buy fried chicken so that Ibad could have a dinner date with Birdman. Ibad claimed that only stupid motherfuckers would sleep with birdbrain… so I guess Ibad considers himself a stupid motherfucker then.
I really hope Ibad accepts the fried chicken. It would really set the mood and then he and Birdman can kiss. They really should kiss. Maybe Birdman will even join the Legion of Evil-Doers instead of just pretending like a big old fake. Anyways, if Ibad and Birdman kiss Timiko can even have the joy of watching them while they smoochie smoochie.
On another note Timiko had enough kisses on her cheeks as she strolled through the camp full of unconscious bodies. She proudly displayed all the marks on her face, the signs of love so that everyone would know just how beloved Timiko was. So beloved in fact that her bio parents would never kick her out for being a “freak of nature.”
With blood in her pockets, she cheerfully skipped into a portal conjured by Mistman who was a really good taxi but a so-so bartender. He didn’t even put real blood in his bloody mary’s. Stepping through the portal, Timiko waved bye-bye to the camp one last time and everyone was happy. Except for those who bled out. Uchako, Asu and Mzuku didn’t die though so there were no real losses that day.
THE END