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"Did you forget that I'm a convicted felon?" Tim said with a sly smile on his face. Hawk couldn't help but smile back, warmth spreading through his whole being.
He missed Tim's smiles directed at him, he missed flirting and seeing his Skippy happy. He did't even know how much he missed him, except of course he did. It was a familiar feeling that haunted him for about 30 years.
He spent a couple of hours by Tim's bed, until it was obvious that Tim needs his rest. The nurses pulled a curtain around them at some point so at least there was some illusion of privacy.
"You should go," Tim said, "please don't call Maggie, I don't want her to worry. If she calls, tell her, but don't call her yourself."
Suddenly Hawk felt anxious like it could be their last goodbye. He already left him for a couple of hours and now he was in a hospital.
"Okay," he said, but didn't move.
"Hawk." Tim said with a fondness in his voice and tilted his head. Hawk's heart skipped a beat at his name said in such a familiar and distinctly Tim way.
Then, Hawk scooted closer and pressed his lips to Tim's before he realized what he's doing. The kiss was tender and brief, Hawk's hand came up to Tim's face, fingers brushed his chin lightly just for a second, before he pulled back. Tim's gaze was unfocused, he looked a little dazed for a moment before he came back to himself.
"Hawk," he said again warningly and this time his name sounded wrong. Tim shook his head. A familiar sting of rejection went through Hawk before he buried it down.
"We've been there, Hawk." Tim sighed.
No, we haven't, he wanted to say. This time Tim almost died while he was getting drunk and everything Hawk could think about was how he was afraid to lose him and how much he wanted to kiss him. He wanted to do it since the moment he heard Tim's voice on the phone, since the moment he stepped into his apartment, since the moment he noticed Tim glanced at his lips now and then when he talked.
"I don't remember our last kiss," Hawk blurted.
Tim's face instantly changed as he parted his lips in surprise.
"The whole time you were there, with doctors, I thought you were dying and I couldn't remember when was the last time we kissed." Hawk's voice trembled a little. He looked at his lap. "There were so many but I just couldn't remember the last one."
"I remember," Tim said softly after a pause. "I remember every our kiss. It was on the beach. I thought about it a lot." He touched Hawk's hand. "Selfish of you to spoil that one. Now our last kiss was in the hospital."
Hawk laughed and looked up. Tim was trying to comfort him even now, when it should be otherwise.
"We could make better," Hawk flirted but part of him actually meant it.
"Only if it beats our best kiss," Tim flirted back.
"Mmm, which one is the best?"
"Our roadtrip. We woke up together in the morning and for once we didn't have to rush anywhere. We just spent a couple of hours in bed, making out and having lazy sex. I tried to get up because I was hungry and was going to get breakfast and you pulled me back on bed, pressed me in pillows and kissed me until I couldn't breathe. That was the best one."
The memories rushed through Hawk's head in a flash.
"I don't think it's wise to repeat that now." he said and Tim laughed.
"I was so happy then," Tim said bittersweetly. "I don't think I've ever loved anyone or anything like I loved you."
The past tense made Hawk flinch.
I loved you too, he didn't say.
"I should go," he said instead. "I'll be back tomorrow."