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“Man, Paimon’s beat! So many things happened in just a week. Though I suppose that’s something we should really be getting used to, eh Traveler?” Paimon announces as soon as they enter their mansion within the Teapot.
“Yeah.” He answers, curtly.
He doesn’t see the way the little star’s face drops as soon as she turns to face him. He doesn’t blame her. He’s been holding it in pretty well so far, but he’s just about reached his breaking point as soon as the front doors closed.
“...goodnight, Aether.” Is the last thing he hears before he heads into his own room.
The dam doesn’t break immediately. It never does. He would never allow it. But his hands tingle. They’re tingling too much ever since that fight with the Narwhal. He’s seen one before. A beast like that, he’s heard of it, even encountered it multiple times during his travels across the stars. He knows not all are as aggressive as that one, he knows that it was simply trying to survive. It was unfortunate that its choice of sustenance led to it being seen as the antagonist.
It’s been too long since he’s had a full taste of a domain created by other worldly beings. Beings similar to his kind. It was familiar yet so alien. To be in the presence of another’s prowess, one so similar to his own, yet he is unable to replicate it. Not anymore.
He stares at his own hands for what feels like forever. He doesn’t even realize how the gloves have dissipated into thin air. He weeps for what he has lost. He thought he was done with tears, but today he has lost more than he should.
He had lost his sister, his other half. And he had lost his powers, his only proof as a star.
But now he has lost his beloved. The one person he has gone out of his way to choose for himself, the one person he dedicates his entire existence towards ever since he lost the only other being important to him. He has lost his Ajax.
He was so close. All he had to do was reach out and grab him. His beloved was just there. But he couldn’t do it. He was powerless. Contrary to what that person might have said about him not having to rely on powers not from this world, he was incapable of reaching out and taking back what was rightfully his. So once more, something incredibly important to the star was forcefully separated from him. Merely because his nature is kept under lock and key without his consent.
The tears are warm with the rage that fills this mortal body. A rage he’s been bottling up for years since he crash landed on this world. A rage that is only momentarily quelled by his love and adoration for his chosen. A rage that can spell the very end of this world if his powers weren’t locked away by some unknown goddess.
That goddess. The star sees red. That fucking goddess.
If it weren’t for her, he wouldn’t have been separated from his sister. If it weren’t for her, he wouldn’t have his wings clipped and be forced to walk this journey through the seven nations and play spectator.
Ah, but then I wouldn’t have had the privilege of meeting him… The star sees blue. My love for stories. My love for knowledge, for the unknown. My love for him .
The tears are cold. They look like jewels under the false moonlight. A trembling hand comes up to cover his mouth. The loneliness is unbearable, yet he bears it all the same. As hot and bright as the star may burn, the space around it is beyond freezing. So when the flame of passion all but runs out, what will be left to keep the star from the cold?
He doesn’t know when he had fallen to the ground, on his knees. But he continues to sob silently, letting his mind run from one end to another. The star is often grateful that he learned how to feel from humans. A skill that isn’t naturally passed on to him, but one that he’s cultivated over the hundreds of years he’s existed. But it is at this very moment that he regrets learning such a painful thing. For every second that he has to endure, he curses every version of his past self for thinking this was worth the experience.
The star weakly pulls himself up. And he sees himself in the mirror. The Traveler’s clothes are gone. The iconic braid is no longer there. He cannot see his eyes. He cannot see his body. The star is as bare as the day he was brought into consciousness.
Ah, I have lost control. The star is coming to his senses.
He focuses on reshaping himself. Into the image he prefers. The body of the Traveler returns to him. A lithe, strong body with long, flowing gold hair. A round face, innocent and unassuming. Large doe eyes, plump lips and a button nose. He stares at his reflection. He chose this face with his other half. He remembers this because it was her choice. He wanted a more handsome one, to seem more mature. But she believed a child-like one would be easier in the long run. And she was right.
How many people trust him wholeheartedly because of this face? How many friends has he made during his time grounded here? How many times has he been relied on to be the saviour of everyone’s lives? He’s pulled from every which way, playing every role he’s told to play. Be it human or god.
Now that he thinks about it. His situation isn’t unlike Furina’s, is it?
Ah, but that’s not fair. He shakes his head. The feather from his earring tickling his neck.
She was a victim of someone else’s grand plan. Much like someone else he cares deeply about. He has no right to equate himself to her. After all, much of his own suffering was only brought upon by his own actions. The friends he chooses to make, the paths he chooses to take, they’re all riddled with difficulties. He knew this very well at the time, but he accepts them all the same with the Traveler’s signature smile.
Ajax is in Snezhnaya. He is recovering. He is safe.
A gloved hand comes up to rest on his chest. He closes his eyes as he pictures that adorably handsome face sleeping comfortably in a fluffy bed, recovering from days of endless combat. A sigh of relief escapes his lips and with it, all the negative emotions that he’d been keeping behind a dam.
He will come back to me. I know that he will.
Aether opens his eyes to look at his reflection. A warm smile spreads across his face as golden eyes narrow to give a gentle expression.
But until then, the show must go on.
Furina may be human, but he is not.