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Mingyu stirs at the sudden dip of the bed beside him. He blearily tries to see what it is, if it's an intruder he needs to fight off, but of course it's not – the subtle scent of sea breeze wafts to him as Seokmin lays down next to him. Mingyu pulls his sheets away, beckoning Seokmin to come closer in the newly-empty space. Seokmin easily complies, sliding into Mingyu's space and humming when Mingyu drops the sheets on them both.
Along with the sea, lavender is in the air. "You were with Jeonghan?" Mingyu asks even though he knows the answer.
"Mmhm," Seokmin hums. "But he kicked me out because I'd keep him up all night talking. But I didn't want to sleep alone."
"What a boyfriend." The word makes Mingyu's chest tighten.
Seokmin laughs, the sound ringing out in the silent air. He quickly slaps a hand over his mouth. "Oh, sorry," comes the muffled apology to nobody in particular.
"Don't be mean," Seokmin continues in a whisper. "He was just tired today, and everybody needs space once in a while. Even boyfriends."
"But not friends?"
"We've already had a lot of space apart recently!" Seokmin whispers urgently, and he sounds so genuinely hurt that Mingyu can't bring himself to continue ribbing Seokmin. It's true – in between their busy individual and group schedules, Seokmin had recently blown off a pre-planned dinner with him and Minghao to go to a play with Jeonghan. Well, more like Seokmin had told them of his sudden change in plans days in advance ("I didn't think we would be able to get the tickets!") but Mingyu still felt burned. Seokmin had insisted the two of them go without him and Minghao had offered to reschedule so all three could go out together, but Mingyu needed to drink that night and subject Minghao – his good and patient friend – to a tirade of complaints that was honestly unfair to Seokmin and Jeonghan but well. A man needed an outlet to release his frustrations sometimes.
(In his defense, he had moved on after Minghao's third not-so-subtle sigh.
"The last time I heard you complain this much was when I got lunch with your dad without you. Should I tell Dokyeom you miss him this much?"
"Don't." Mingyu stared at the drinks menu they had already ordered from instead of Minghao's knowing eyes. What did he really know.)
"Myungho missed you at our dinner."
"Oh really? I'll have to make it up to him then, I feel so bad I had to cancel..." Seokmin sidles up closer, and Mingyu hates that heat burns low in his body at the platonic proximity. The heat dissipates though once he gets a whiff of Seokmin's breath – "Ugh, you were drinking."
"Yep!" Seokmin confirms. He grins at Mingyu, and Mingyu can almost clearly see his bright smile despite the darkness.
"Your boyfriend know you got into bed with another man while drunk?" Mingyu is glad he is somehow able to speak lightly, rather than the suggestive way he initially thought.
"I'm not drunk," Seokmin grumbles. "And you know Jeonghan isn't like that." Yes, because Jeonghan is a better man than Mingyu. Not that Mingyu would ever put his hands on another person's lover.
Seokmin hums, a low sound in his throat. Mingyu waits.
"What if we were dating though," Seokmin ponders. His voice is faraway, like he's speaking to himself and it just so happens Mingyu is overhearing him. "What would that be like?" Mingyu doesn't like his tone, like he isn't considering it a serious possibility.
"I'd treat you well," Mingyu starts before he can stop himself. "I'd cook for you, and we could take pictures together, and go sing karaoke, and drink, and..."
"You could do that with anyone," Seokmin says.
"Sure, but it's with you. We can do all the things we like together." Mingyu's mind is no longer connected to his mouth. "Oh, we could make that pizza oven again, try new toppings this time around. You think your mom would give us more of her seaweed?"
"Mmm."
"Maybe we could get a dog too, I'd like a husky but we'd need to live somewhere near a dog park, or with a yard–" Oh god. What the hell is he saying to someone who is not available, much less dating. Mingyu immediately shuts up. The sudden silence drags on.
"And?" Seokmin prompts quietly.
"Uh. Nothing."
Seokmin giggles. "Mingyu-ah," he says, voice heavy. He breaches Mingyu's space entirely, throwing an arm over Mingyu's body and pulling himself up so he's half-lying on Mingyu. His head is close to Mingyu's heart; Mingyu prays to every entity out there that Seokmin is too buzzed to feel, to comprehend the fast pace. "It sounds nice," Seokmin continues, his voice distant again. He's about to drift off to sleep.
"But it's just a hypothetical," Mingyu quickly clarifies, half for his own sanity. "We're just friends. And you're dating Jeonghan. Who can give you all that I just said." It hurts to say that last line, but he can't go fucking up this friendship like this. Forget that Jeonghan can't cook a mean kimchi stew like he can.
"Mmm. But Jeonghan isn't you." The sudden scent of the fresh sea breeze, clean soap tickles his nose again. "He doesn't smell like chocolate."
"You can just buy chocolate from the store."
"It's not the same. You're so warm and comfortable. No wonder people go ga-ga for alphas if they're like you."
"...just go to sleep, Dokyeom-ah. Hyung would be upset if he heard you talking like this."
"No, he wouldn't...'' Seokmin murmurs. He rubs his face against Mingyu's chest. Mingyu's heart is no longer beating against Seokmin, it's in his throat.
He's right though. The things Seokmin is saying to him, it's the same as how they talk when Seokmin is sober and being his friend with no romantic feelings whatsoever. Of course they all want to live somewhere with a yard, it's the best kind of home for settling down or living out the rest of their non-idol lives sometime far in the future, an earned privilege to be away from the bustle and packed schedules and social pressures. Only Mingyu is making it weird, his brain unhelpfully making things as awkward as possible just because he has feelings for his friend. Feelings he never thought could come to fruition until Seokmin and Jeonghan announced they were dating and things were over before Mingyu even knew they could begin.
Mingyu's hand had moved of its own accord (he swears) while he's riding the wave of his thoughts, and he only realizes it when he feels Seokmin shiver on top of him. He focuses again on reality, on his hand gently massaging Seokmin's neck, his fingers brushing over Seokmin's scent glands. The sea breeze is stronger, salt practically stinging his eyes.
"Sorry–!" Mingyu yelps, yanking his hand away. His arm thumps to the bed, and he has half a mind to shove Seokmin off of him too but wouldn't that be too weird? Why did he even react like that? They all touched each other's scent glands from time to time, it wasn't anything inherently intimate. But the practice room with its bright lights wasn't the same as lying in bed together in the dark. He realizes his pheromones are practically radiating off of him in shame, embarrassment, a low lick of desire – and he struggles to rein them back in. Seokmin doesn't move despite the onslaught though; he lets Mingyu's scent wash over him, erasing the hints of lavender.
"Mingyu-ah," Seokmin says again. He's looking up at Mingyu now, and Mingyu helplessly looks back. He hates that his body's physiology is working, that his eyes have gotten used to the darkness and can see Seokmin with those eyes he has when he sings, when he's rolling his body with the choreo–
"You're drunk," Mingyu squeaks.
"I'm not drunk," Seokmin says. "I only had one can of beer."
"You're dating Jeonghan."
"I'm dating him because it's the only way you'll look at me." Mingyu swears he is going into cardiac arrest with the way his chest feels so constricted right now.
"I do look at you...?"
"You started looking at me differently once I told the group Jeonghan and I were dating." Mingyu chokes, but Seokmin continues, "What would Myungho say?"
"What?"
"How would Myungho feel about you letting a drunk man into your bed?"
"What... what does Myungho have to do with anything–"
Seokmin has dragged himself up to be face-to-face with Mingyu. His hands pin Mingyu to the mattress, but Mingyu's brain is too busy trying to make sense of the conversation to feel turned on. Their scents are mixing with each other, chaotic releases from their spike in emotions.
"You're always looking at Myungho. I get it, he's hot and kind and feisty and all that. You'd never look at me unless someone else wanted me, otherwise you wouldn't see me as someone desirable."
"Dokyeom-ah–" Mingyu wonders if he's the one who actually drank, if he's the one not stone cold sober, "–why do you think you're not desired."
"I don't know," Seokmin dips his head lower, his breath ghosting over Mingyu. "I'm not you, Kim Mingyu." Mingyu wants to squeeze his eyes shut, but who knows what Seokmin would do when his eyes are closed.
"I... I don't want to hurt Jeonghan. You shouldn't hurt him either, you... you should know better, Dokyeom."
Seokmin scoffs, and Mingyu feels the spit from how close Seokmin is. "It won't hurt him. We're not even dating for real, he knows about you. If anything, you should be saying you don't want to hurt Myungho."
"You're not... what? I-I don't get why you keep bringing Myungho up. Why would he... what would he..." Mingyu can't help the way his face scrunches up. "You'd be hurting him too."
Seokmin stares down at him. "It does hurt to hurt him, but it hurts more to know he's dating a cheater who's imagined dating someone else."
"I'm not a cheater–! Myungho and I, we're not dating, how is thinking about even, I haven't even done anything...!" Mingyu's sudden writhing yanks his arm away from one of Seokmin's hands, and the imbalance makes him drop closer to Mingyu, their noses almost touching. Mingyu stops moving, breathing, and thinking. Seokmin is right there , the feelings he thought he had bottled up are, are just–
"You should take a page from Coups-hyung's book and learn how to control your pheromones," Seokmin says. "Your scent is practically choking me right now." He knows Seokmin is trying for a measured tone, but Mingyu knows Seokmin: his acting isn't perfected yet, he can hear the tinge of panic in his voice, that things aren't quite going how he thinks they should go. The waves are crashing. Mingyu is now suddenly aware of all the points their bodies are touching: their legs pressed up against each other, the weight of Seokmin's body on his, a hand still firmly gripping Mingyu's bicep. There's one other point they can meet, if either of them could take that step now.
"You're not dating Jeonghan?"
"You and Myungho aren't a thing?" Seokmin returns.
They're silent. Mingyu finally hums a sound of dissent and Seokmin shakes his head in response. The smell of soap is the sign of cleansing away all the dirt and impurities. Mingyu feels he should think a bit more about what he's learned, their assumptions brought out into the open, why on earth Jeonghan agreed to such a ruse, is that why Jeonghan had given him such a pointed look when Seokmin had told–
Seokmin's head drops, and Mingyu's mind goes underwater.