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"He was only thirty nine years old."
Jack's wish was to have his ashes spread on Brokeback Mountain.
Jack's father hadn't been happy about Jack's request, his request to have his ashes spread. He had almost refused it entirely, wanting Jack to be buried in the family plot instead, but Lureen had worked to convince Jack's father for a reason Ennis couldn't say. Later, when she stood outside with him while Ennis prepared to leave, from the knowing gaze in Lureen's eyes as she carefully handed Jack's urn to Ennis a piece of him wondered if she knew.
If she knew what had been, between him and Jack.
Lureen's eyes had been wet as she handed over the remains of her husband to Ennis, her carefully painted lips and pale jaw tense.
"You said you were good friends," she said, carefully, her expression a complicated one that Ennis didn't want to name, "real good friends."
Ennis was pretty sure she knew, but he would never ask - and she would never say.
"We..." Ennis was gentle as he held Jack, his eyes darting away from Lureen's dark eyes to gaze at the top of the nondescript urn, "we were. We spent a lot of time together, on Brokeback Mountain. Herding sheep that summer."
Herding sheep. Nothing else, nothing more.
"He said it was his favorite place," Lureen commented, her voice tinted with icey displeasure, "this Brokeback Mountain."
Ennis couldn't blame her.
"We made a lot of memories there."
Memories, love, friendship, they made a lot of things amongst the beautiful environment of Brokeback Mountain. And despite all that had happened between them, Ennis has always cherished the moments they had shared on Brokeback Mountain.
"Take him back to y'all's mountain." Lureen crossed her arms, clearly ending the conversation, a mix of tumultuous emotions crossing her features, "he would have wanted it to be you, anyways."
Ennis nodded, already having accepted the task off fulfilling Jack's wish.
"I'll make sure he gets there. Could you pass this on," Ennis passed a carefully folded and sealed note to Jack's widow, "to my children? Please."
Lureen took it with a short nod, her lips tightly pressed together, examining it before looking up to Ennis.
"Why won't you, when you return?"
Ennis didn't respond but he simply gave her a look that conveyed much more than simple words could ever hope to before he turned and began to walk away, holding Jack carefully.
They both knew it would be the last time they saw each other.
The sealed note that Lureen tucked into her pocket as she watched Ennis leave read:
"To my beloved children,
I'm sorry. To your mother, to you, and to all that I've lied to over the years. I love you, and I truly felt love for your mother, but my dearest friend and my truest soulmate was Jack Twist. It was not meant to be and he is now gone. I go to spread his ashes upon Brokeback Mountain, I go to join him there.
I love you,
- Ennis Del Mar."
The trip to where Jack wished his ashes to be spread was as much a trip across Brokeback Mountain as it was a trip through Ennis's memories.
Even after all these years, after everything that had happened, Brokeback Mountain looked the same. He recognized the spots where they had set their tent, where they had huddled close around their fire.
Brokeback Mountain held countless memories for Ennis, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
"The truth is... sometimes I miss you so much, I can hardly stand it."
"It's because of you, Jack, that I'm like this. I'm nothing. I'm nowhere."
As he hiked across the terrain that he and Jack had wrestled and camped and adventured across so many years ago, Ennis found himself missing what could have been.
"We coulda had a good life together. Fuckin' real good life. Had us a place of our own."
His brain knew that, logically, it never could have been - but his heart, so cracked and damaged and broken, his heart wished so desperately that it could have been.
They had lied to each other, they had lied to themselves.
"I'm not no queer."
"Me neither. A one-shot thing. Nobody's business but ours."
It hadn't been a one-shot thing.
It had become other people's business.
And perhaps, perhaps, they had been...
Ennis Del Mar had loved Jack Twist, and Jack Twist had loved Ennis Del Mar.
And finally, as he stood at the top of Brokeback Mountain, his skin warmed by the sun and his hair rustled by the breeze, he knew it was time to say goodbye. Goodbye to Jack, goodbye to the dream of the life they could have shared.
"But you didn't want it, Ennis."
Ennis carefully tilted the urn, and watched as Jack's ashes were carried by the wind to gently dust the surface of Brokeback Mountain, to cover the mountain where they had shared so much.
"I wish I knew how to quit you."
"I'm sorry, Jack."
Ennis knew that he had been the one that failed Jack.
"I'm sorry, that I left."
Ennis carefully sat down in the middle of where some of Jack's ashes had fallen upon the peak of Brokeback Mountain, and for a moment he just let himself be. He let himself breathe as the bluebirds chirped above him, he let himself enjoy the scent of fresh mountain air, of blooming flowers and fresh rushing water.
It was beautiful. It was a beautiful place to say goodbye, and Ennis could see why Jack would have wanted his ashes to be spread there, amongst the bright and blossoming wildflowers.
It was a much better sight than that of blood and hatred, a better sight than what Jack had seen when he died. It was the sight Jack had deserved to see when he died. It was beautiful. Like Jack had been, like the precious moments they had shared in '63 had been.
"There's never enough time, never enough."
Ennis inhaled.
He reached behind him, and he carefully pulled his shotgun over his head, the strap falling down his arm and away from him as he did. As he maneuvered the powerful weapon his hands didn't tremble, his breathing remained steady.
Ennis exhaled.
The bluebirds scattered as a gunshot split the air, the thunderous sound slowing fading as it echoed into the distance.
Eventually, silence fell upon Brokeback Mountain.
Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist had loved Brokeback Mountain, and upon Brokeback Mountain was where they would stay.
Together.