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If he were not currently taking in the grandeur of the ballroom, adorned with garland and holly, and filled with lovely young ladies, and having the loveliest of them on his arm, he might have found the task of keeping her far from his mind easier.
He could’ve merrily enjoyed his evening, flirting with any girl he saw who might have had her piercing gray eyes or her dark curled hair, letting himself pretend like he had finally won her heart.
But he made something of a specialty of making poor decisions, and therefore, he could not spend his night chasing after an imitation of what his heart seeked most. Especially when said thing was hanging off his arm, looking undoubtedly and atypically nervous.
Truly, when he asked, begged, Jo to accompany him to the Vaughn’s Christmas Eve ball, it was with the understanding that she was not elegant society, and she would not under any circumstances pretend to be. But looking at her now, laced tightly in a striking veridian evening dress and hair done up impressively neat, she looked as assimilated as ever.
Save of course, for her unamused face, which Laurie didn’t exactly love to see.
“Oh Jo, it’s not that bad, is it?” He spoke, voice flooded with genuine concern. He hated to see her look so dreary.
“It’s awful crowded. I hadn’t realized so many people were eager to give up their Christmas Eve to come to a silly ball.”
Laurie knew to expect these types of comments from one Jo March, but it still stung to hear.
“Apologies then, for having taken you captive and forcing you to accompany me,” he joked, though his heart was not fully in it.
“I suppose it’s alright.. for just this one time. The way I see it, it’s an excuse for me to play at being high society for a night. That will be fun, don’t you agree?” She asked, meeting his eyes. She did this often, and yet it never failed to make him flush.
“Of course. We’ll have a grand old time!” He responded, perhaps much too loud for a gathering of the sorts.
They made it out of the foyer, her arm still wrapped in his. His skin burnt at the contact, even under his jacket. They were approached by a man holding out a tray of champagne flutes. Laurie took two, and handed one off to Jo. She scowled at the offer.
“Don’t be a prude, Jo, it’s alright,” he spoke, offering her the glass once more.
Jo remained unswayed. “Mother says drinking is foolish, especially outside of one’s own home.”
Laurie shrugged, taking a sip from his flute.
“Teddy, you shouldn’t,” she warned, her eyes narrowing towards him.
And because he would do anything he told her to, a thousand times over, he peeled the glass away from his lips. From the corner of his eye, he saw movement begin to spur in the middle of the ballroom. He offered his hand at once.
“Would you dance with me, Jo?”
Jo turned to the forming crowd, all stepping in sync to a rather jaunty tune.
“You really should have brought Meg. Amy, even.”
Laurie’s brow furrowed at the response, or rather, lack thereof. He was fairly certain that he would rather have Jo accompany him to the ends of the earth, if he had to choose anyone.
“Why is that? I rather enjoy your company. Do you not enjoy mine?” He asked her, taking both of her gloved hands in his, and hoping that his answer would not come in the form of her storming home.
“No!” She started, to his relief. “No my dear boy, it isn’t that at all! It’s only that I don’t know much about dancing, and if I were to try it, I fear I’d end up hurting myself and everyone around me,” she laughed.
Laurie looked at her sympathetically.
“Perhaps we could find a way to manage? If you recall when we met, I think we did just that!”
“Don’t be silly, Teddy,” she chided. “We’re grown now. Much too grown for such gallivanting, I’m afraid. And besides, there are far too many respectable people here, and I’m not so much worried for myself as I am for you and your reputation,” she said, accentuating her point with a jab of her bony finger to his chest.
“To hell with them,” Laurie spoke, getting excited all at once. “It could be just like old times Jo.” He spoke, so fervently, that she almost considered it.
“I’d like to, Teddy, really. but one of us must be the voice of reason. And besides, just look around.”
Laurie did, not picking up on what she could be referring to.
“Incase you’ve forgotten, you happen to be one of the most eligible young men in Concord, and you’ve got ladies around the room making eyes at you-no, don’t look now! If I can marry you off to some fine woman, I’ll die peacefully.”
Laurie longed to tell her that there was only one woman in the room who he’d ever consider marrying. But he knew better, knew that it would soil a perfectly good evening, and thought better of it.
“Go find some nice girl, and offer to dance with her. Perhaps by the end of the night I will manage a waltz, but I make no promises,” she said, and with that in mind, Laurie reluctantly walked off.
He danced with a blonde woman, Jo’s stark contrast. Plump where she was slender, dressed in the day’s fashion where Jo’s was slightly out of style, soft where she was sharp. He hoped the poor woman didn’t realize that his eyes had been fixed over her shoulder to the slightly out of place figure on the wall.
—————-
The night had grown, and the music had faded into a soft waltz. After spending some time doing as Jo advised, (dancing with some other women), and also doing what she probably wouldn’t have advised (hardly speaking a word to them), he had made his way back over to her. Although he had been dancing, he hadn’t missed the men who came up to her, asking for a dance, only for her to politely decline. The sight made him feel a bit more triumphant.
When he reached her once more, he was met with her enthusiastic smile.
“I saw you dancing with the lady in the lavender silk. You seemed to have liked her!” She said, her eyes darting between his and over his shoulder, likely at the lady in question.
Truth be told, Laurie could not remember a lady in lavender, but he nodded along anyways.
“Yes, she was lovely, but far too plain a dance partner. Would you join me, Jo?” He asked once more.
Jo looked towards the center, then back to him.
“Don’t these affairs get rather tiresome? I could not imagine it to be enjoyable to dance the evening away, especially in such constricting garments,” she said, bringing a hand to her corseted abdomen.
“I assent, they are rather tiresome, which is why your presence would elevate it immensely,” he smiled, taking her hand.
Jo flushed red, and inwardly told herself it was because of the utter lack of breathing room in her dress and not from her friend’s unprecedented flattery.
“I suppose this will be my final act at being a woman of society for the evening,” she said. A subtle agreement, Laurie realized.
Without haste, and far too giddy for his own good, he led her out to the center of her room. Stopping towards the outside of the circle, he placed a gloved hand on the small of her back, and took hers with the other. After a minute of finding where her hands were meant to lay, he was directing her in a simple back and forth, step up, down, side, and turn.
His eyes stayed glued on hers. They didn’t speak.
He felt alarmingly content like that, he realized. Just swaying with her, looking at her, not having to speak a word. Jo was far from a beauty. In truth, she was as plain as one could come, but that didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t stunning, it didn’t matter the judgemental stares he got as he danced with her. None of it mattered, because he was in love with her. Undoubtedly so. In love with her words, her passion, her faults. She was his everything, and his heart ached for her so.
They were close enough now that he could feel her breath on him. If he didn’t fear the repercussions, he would’ve kissed her just then. But cowardice had always been one of his fatal flaws, and it seemed it would continue to be. It was simply that it was difficult to be this close to her and not want to do rather scandalous things. He tried his hardest not to show it, but on nights like this one, it was hard to remember that she was only his friend, and not anything more.
He wanted to change that, and he would. That, he was confident about. But not tonight. She had already given him a fine gift of coming to such a droll ball with him, and he wouldn’t dare ask anything more of her.
So, they danced. To Jo’s delight, she only tripped over her own skirt a few times, and managed not to knock anyone over. As the song came to an end and the people filed in and out of the circle, Jo and Laurie stayed put. His hands didn’t leave her waist, and hers didn’t leave his neck. It was as if time itself had stopped. They just stood, looking at each other.
Jo broke the silence, growing red. “It’s late. Marmee will wonder where I am.”
Laurie nodded after a moment, knocked out of his trance.
“Yes of course. I believe it’s winding down anyways.”
Later that night as he lay in bed, Laurie will tell himself she was the one who took his hand as they walked out of the ballroom. He’ll remind himself of how she slumped against his shoulder in the carriage ride home, any and all façade of refinement leaving her completely as soon as she stepped inside of it. He’ll especially dwell on how when he made the haste decision to kiss her hands as he dropped her off at her house, she didn’t pull away, and more importantly didn’t seem especially upset.
Then, he’ll sit up in his bed, unable to sleep as the object of his desire plagues his every thought, and he’ll look out the window and see her in her own home, pacing with her pen in hand, as usual.
He’ll smile at her, imagine her smiling back, and fall asleep completely, and utterly content.
Fin.