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Homesickness was a concept Agi never really understood.
Maybe it was because he had been traveling for most of his young life for football, and years of practice left him with a lack of nostalgia for home, because he knew his home would always be there when he returned. His parents and siblings would still be in the home that he grew up in, cheering him on and waiting for him. His own personal flat would still be there, in the condition he left it, ready to comfort him and return him to his routine.
Did he miss his bed when he was away for a while? Did he miss the normalcy of being in his own space and keeping up with his daily routine that he had not been able to keep while traveling? The answer to both questions was yes, because what normal human wouldn’t miss their own home? However, it had never escalated to a degree of homesickness. He never felt outright ill due to missing his home, and he never dreamed of speeding up his vacations and football obligations just to return to home faster.
Homesickness was purely a foreign concept to him, one he doubted he would ever understand. So it didn’t cross his mind that one Seishiro Nagi would ever be homesick as well.
Agi had noticed over the last few days a change in his partner. He had been living with Agi for approximately three months at this point, having moved his entire life to be with Agi full time. It had been something they had talked about for a while, to the point Agi wondered if it would ever come true.
But then it did, and Seishiro was securely in his life permanently. They weren’t married, but they might as well have been, because Agi no longer saw an option for his life than to be with Seishiro forever. Seishiro and he had melded their lives together near seamlessly, and Seishiro had become a fixture in his life and home that made Agi question what his life had ever been like without him there.
Agi was happy. Content. He always used to question whether or not he would find another person who he would actually want to spend his life with, but now he had. And he wouldn’t exchange Seishiro or this life that they had grown together for anything in the world.
But after these few months of happy, domestic bliss, Seishiro seemed to slow down. He would lie in bed longer than was typical, and he would push his food around his plate rather than eating it at dinner time. His own daily routine began to suffer, and there were many a day that Agi wondered if Seishiro had even left the bed for more than a few minutes to get a snack or go to the bathroom.
“Seishiro…are you alright?” Agi asked one night as they tucked themselves into bed and Seishiro laid his damp hair on his shoulder. Agi had coaxed him into taking a shower before bed by promising french toast for breakfast in the morning. It was his day off after all, and french toast was one thing that consistently got Seishiro excited. And, the promise of it did the trick, as Seishiro was clean and warm and no longer had the slight scent of sweat in his hair.
Seishiro hummed, pondering the answer to the question.
“I don’t know… Physically, I’m fine. I guess I just started to feel homesick for some reason.”
The response had puzzled Agi.
Homesick?
How could Seishiro possibly be homesick? He had very little of a home to return to. He had lived in an apartment all by himself, with parents that rarely stopped by to even say hello, much less called him on a regular basis. And while Agi supposed maybe Seishiro missed his home amenities, Agi had been sure to get every little thing Seishiro possibly would have wanted to make him feel at home in his home. Their home really.
Seishiro was home. This was his home. How could he be homesick?
Maybe, it was the cuisine in Japan that could not be easily found or replicated in Manchester. Seishiro had bemoaned the fact that he could not find adequate replacements to some of the sweet breads he favored, but Agi highly doubted that this would be the cause of Seishiro’s negative mood.
More likely, it was the recent birthdays of one of his friends, and the birthday party he could not attend due to the time and distance. Agi had offered to pay for a ticket for him to fly back home, but Seishiro had sworn it was fine. It had only been a couple of months, he wasn’t so desperate for attention from his friends that he could not wait this one out and see them again in a couple months.
But realistically, Agi knew that missing this event was weighing on Seishiro’s mind more than he thought it might. He had been sulking in the days since, and Agi knew that there was really no way to fix it.
“Is it weird to say I miss Choki?”
Choki? His cactus? One he had to leave behind in Japan with a friend, as it was not something that could be easily transported by plane or shipped overseas. Seishiro had sworn it was okay, but Agi could now see clearly that it was not.
Choki, Seishiro’s little companion. His one friend before he made friends with Reo. It was a sentimental thing to him, and Agi hadn’t realized how much it had hurt him to leave it behind.
“It’s not weird,” Agi affirmed, running his fingers through Seishiro’s still damp hair. Seishiro sighed, melting into his side as he wrapped his arms around him, squeezing him tightly.
“It’s okay though. You’re way better than Choki.”
Agi rolled his eyes, knowing the comment was just a nicety, though he hoped he was better than a cactus. While Agi could be a bit prickly like one, and often didn’t like to be touched like one, Seishiro could not hold and hug a cactus in the way he does with Agi. So maybe, Agi did have some benefits that a cactus companion did not.
But, Agi knew in some area of his mind that the only thing that could solve this unending sadness in his boyfriend’s heart was a cactus.
So a cactus was what he would get.
Pulling up to the plant nursery the next day, Agi knew immediately he had made the right call. Seishiro’s eyes immediately widened with delight, and he was out of the car before Agi could even turn it off. Agi called out to him, asking him to wait, but Seishiro was gone, already behind the gates to find his next pokey little friend.
Ah well, at least it would be easy to find him. A six foot tall white haired Asian man would stick out like a sore thumb wherever he went in this city, so Agi just hoped that he behaved himself.
Wandering into the nursery behind him, Agi could see Nagi’s head over the shelving in the distance, already finding something he liked. Agi would just peruse the plants until he was done, and was wondering how high of a tab he would be paying this afternoon to make his boyfriend happy. He hadn’t given Seishiro a budget or a limit on how many cacti he could bring home, but he supposed the limit was how much he could fit safely in the trunk of his car.
Seishiro’s happiness was at least worth more than a few specks of dirt in his trunk.
During his perusal, Agi found a wonderful table of bunny eared cacti very similar to the pictures he had seen of Choki. Picking one up, he inspected the pads of the cactus, making sure it was healthy, before seeking out Seishiro for approval.
Once he found him, Seishiro already had a cactus in his hands. A rather large one, in fact, that looked as though it were two different breeds of cactus grafted together. But his attention drifted towards the very different cactus in Agi’s hands, and his mouth rounded out into an O as he oohed and awed at the familiar shape.
“Oh, you found it! I must have missed them…”
“You were moving quite fast as we came in.” Agi smiled, the corner of his mouth cocking upward as he admired Seishiro’s enthusiasm. He didn’t mind of course, because this was the happiest he had seen Seishiro in a few days. Agi believed there would likely be a few more dates to the nursery in their future. “What did you find?”
Hoisting the plant in his arms up, he showed Agi the unique shape of the cactus he had found. It was quite different from the one in his own hands, but Agi didn’t dislike that. It would make a nice accent to their home.
“It’s kind of expensive though…. 70 pounds is a lot for a plant, right?” Seishiro cocked his head to the side, inspecting the tag and trying to do the math in his head so he would comprehend the price. Seishiro was still learning the value of money in Europe, and sometimes the true cost of things eluded him. It was a lot for a plant, but Agi would pay it if this was the thing that would make Seishiro feel more at home.
“It is, but I want you to have it. Would you like anything else, or should we go find pots for these two?”
Seishiro nodded his head quickly, tucking the cactus pot into the crook of his arm. He held a hand out, waiting expectantly, until Agi slid his fingers into his palm. Seishiro indicated that he saw some planters on the other side of the nursery, and tugged on Agi’s hand, leading him to their destination.
Agi was also not the biggest fan of holding hands or public displays of affection, but also, it was another small sacrifice to make Seishiro’s day just a little brighter. Small sacrifices to return that soft, sleepy little smile to his boyfriend’s face. So, they held hands until Agi needed to pull his wallet out of his pocket to pay for the cacti, and then again until they reached the car. Seishiro safely stored his chosen cactus in the trunk along with the planters, but he insisted on holding the smaller cactus Agi had found in his hands, staring softly at the perfectly ovular pads with their perfectly spaced spikes.
They drove back to their flat in silence, Seishiro lovingly looking down at his new little Choki. Agi kept watch over him out of the corner of his eye, glancing at him at every stop light and sign they passed, just to make sure that soft smile never faded.
As they pulled into their garage, the bright sun of the day fading, Seishiro finally looked up, almost surprised to be home. He followed Agi out of the car and up the stairs, trusting Agi with the larger cactus as they entered their home that Agi sincerely hoped would feel a little more like home with their newest two additions.
Together, they repotted the two plants, extra careful to not spill soil all over the floor, and to not get stuck by the sharp spines of their little friends. They then found a home for them in the living room, tucking them both snuggly into the forest of other plants Agi already tended to with love and care, now merging the last little bit of “mine” and “yours” into “ours.”
As soon as the final adjustments were made, Seishiro turned towards Agi, instantly wrapping his arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug that would have choked him had Seishiro squeezed him any tighter.
“Thank you,” Seishiro whispered against his neck, as if the gesture of taking him to a nursery was something grand. As if it was something that was out of his way or hindered his day in some way.
But it wasn’t.
Agi had wanted to do this for Seishiro.
He wanted to make him happy.
To make him feel a little more at home.
To ease the feelings of homesickness that was likely still ravaging his heart, but now, hopefully was eased just the slightest amount.
It was just the simplest little thing, really. It was for Seishiro, and for Seishiro, he would hang the moon.
“Anything for you,” Agi whispered back, long arms finding their home on Seishiro’s waist. Seishiro nodded against his cheek, indicating that he had heard, and readjusted his grip just so to make himself a little more comfortable.
A little more at home.
“I don’t feel so homesick any more,” Seishiro noted as he finally peeled his face away from Agi’s neck, soft smile now for him alone, and not for a little bunny eared cactus in a pretty blue pot. The smile almost made Agi’s chest burst with pride, as this was what he wanted all along.
Seishiro’s homesickness, nearly cured.
For how could one be homesick when their home was wherever their loved one resided?