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Tony stared at all of the toys in the store in dismay. He couldn't believe it. He wanted to donate something for the children and had immediately thought about toys, but every single one of them came with the warning, "Some Assembly Required."
"Why aren't there any toys that don't require assembly?" Tony growled and ranted as he picked up and looked at the labels for anything that caught his eyes in hopes of finding something that didn't require assembly. "Do they not understand that homeless children don't necessarily have access to the tools need to assemble something?" At the end of that, Tony threw up his hands in a final burst of frustration.
"I always donate the tools needed in addition to the toys," a random male voice announced from behind Tony.
Tony swiveled around and stared at the man in a dark t-share and jeans and a goatee. "That would be easier if I knew what tools were required for the toys."
"Grab some of the toys made by Stark Toys and I can tell you," the other man offered.
Tony raised an eyebrow. The helpful stranger didn't look like a store employee. "And you are?"
"You mean you don't recognize me?"
Tony narrowed his eyes. "Should I?"
"Maybe from the cover of Technology Today?"
Tony shook his head. "Not my kind of magazine I'm afraid. I'm more into playboy and playgirl."
"I've also been voted one of the top bachelors for many years in a row."
"I've been there a time or two myself, though usually I'm not well known enough.
"Man after my own heart. You really don't recognize me?" the man with the goatee prompted.
"Nope."
"Huh. I thought everyone knew who I was."
Tony shrugged. "My job keeps me too busy to stay up on current events and celebrities."
"That's...that's huh."
Tony blinked at the speechless man and felt like he was missing a key piece of information. "So who are you and why would you be able to tell me the tools needed for Stark Toys?"
When the man failed to answer his question in a timely fashion, Tony continued, "Do you have some sort of insider knowledge of Stark Toys? You don't seem like a store employee."
There was some choking and then a coughing fit. "You could say that. Are you just trying to be nice?"
"No? I'm naturally nice, though?" Tony's voice lilted at the end in question.
The casually dressed man waved his hand. "No, no, no. Not what I meant. Anyway, who I am isn't important. Let's find you some toys for your charity donation. What charity are you donating to, anyway?"
Tony frowned, looking at the options. "I'm sponsoring one of those 'adopt a family' families with my coworkers, a few of whom went overboard. All of the items they requested have been filled by the others, but I wouldn't feel right not donating anything when everyone else has. I thought I could find some toys appropriate for the kids to give them a little something extra this year."
"This is really Pepper's department more than mine, but we'll do our best for the kids, right?"
"Right," Tony agreed. He still had no idea who this man was, although the name Pepper sounded familiar for some reason. There was something niggling at the back of his brain that told him he had all the pieces he needed to figure out who the other man was. It was the same part of his brain that wiggled around in the background before coming up with the breakthroughs for the NCIS cases he investigated.
"What about this?" An Iron Man figurine was held up.
Tony shook his head. "Nah. There was no mention of interest in Avengers."
He noted the other man's shoulders slump, but another toy was gamely picked up and presented for Tony's approval.
Tony gasped as the hints coalesced in his brain into one possibility. "You're Tony Stark!"
"The one and only. What gave it away?"
"My brain finally put the disparate pieces together. We can't both be Tony, however."
"I'm the famous Tony. You can pick a different name."
"Not another one. My father already introduces himself as the real Tony as if I'm a cheap imitation of him or something. You're the one getting a nickname."
"Oh, come on. I'll pay you whatever you want to take a nickname instead of me."
"You really are used to getting your way via buying everyone off, aren't you? I'm not interested in your money."
"That's a first. Are you sure? I can throw a lot of money at you."
"I'm not for sale, Mr. Stark."
"No, no, no. We're in this together now. It's Tony, not Mr. Stark. We have to find the perfect gift for the kids to make their Christmas."
"Why are you so concerned about this?"
Stark shrugged. "You had a problem that I could fix. I like fixing problems."
Tony wasn't quite sure what to say to that. "Let's just find something for the kids. One is an eight year old girl and the other a fourteen year old boy."
"Are you sure the boy wouldn't like Iron Man merchandise? I'd even give it to you for free."
Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm perfectly capable of buying something for the kids. I may not be as rich as you Mr. Money Bags, but I assure you I can afford a few toys."
"Money Bags, huh?"
"I'm sure you've been called worse."
"Probably called myself worse, if I'm honest."
Tony smirked. "You haven't given me a more acceptable nickname, so I'll just call you whatever comes to mind."
"You can call me anytime." Stark wiggled his fingers suggestively.
"So those rumors are true?"
"You bet."
"Well I'd have to have your phone number, first."
"I can do you one better. You can come back to my hotel with me after we get the toys you want."
"We better get back to that then." Tony stared at the collection of toys.
"Here. This one is one of my personal favorites."
"Have you considered making toys that don't require assembly?"
"Sure, but those are boring."
Tony chuckled half-heartedly and picked up the black widow doll in a black dress that wouldn't look out of place at a black tie affair from the other Tony's hand. "Maybe the eight year old would like this. What exactly needs assembly here? It's just a stuffed doll."
"Well... Just is such a harsh word..."
"I should have known. What unnecessary gadgetry have you included in this, Mr. Stark."
"Tony. To-ny. Tony! It's not that hard."
Tony smirked. "That's my name. Don't wear it out."
"Agh! You're an asshole."
"As if you have any room to talk about such things."
"Point."
Tony waved the black widow doll at Stark. "Assembly?"
"Oh if you must know, she has multiple outfits and a tiny functional widow's bite. Possibly, a functional house or something as well." Stark scratched his cheek with a finger.
"Is that so?"
"Yep."
"All that for such a low cost?"
"Well all Avengers' merchandise profits go to charity."
"You just want to see Iron Man in every household."
"Shhh. Don't give away all my secrets."
"Please. Anyone who has read one of the gossip rags knows your secrets."
"Rude."
Tony bumped his shoulder against the other Tony's shoulder. "I think you promised me dinner and a motel room once we finished picking up things for the kids."
"I do believe you still need something for the boy."
"Nope." Tony winked. "Found everything I need."
"I thought you needed to pick up tools."
"I'll pick them up later."
"So dinner then?"
"Sounds perfect."
And that was how Tony DiNozzo met Tony Stark and spent the night with him.