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“God Damn it Catharine!” Mary yelled, first coming down heavy on the rosewood table.
The fallout of Henry’s coming out, or should he say outing, was still a persistent burden.
As per usual, a family affairs meeting turned into scrutinizing Henry’s ‘lifestyle’.
His grandmother would never forgive or accept him for who he was truly, and he’d come to peace with that. He couldn’t care less at this point, truthfully.
His insecurity about the future of his relationship with his brother- that was a different issue, a more complex one, and not the one at hand today.
Whenever Henry was called back to England for family business he dreaded it, knowing the conversation would fall into this.
Yes he loved his sister and his mothers company, and found himself missing mister wobbles when he was without the little bastard's companionship for too long, but he’d much rather see the ladies of the Fox family on his own turf.
In his brownstone, hi’s and Alex's home, with a crackling fire, a glass of red wine and Alex and David and laughter and a warm spicy meal Henry couldn't pronounce the name of. The real fine things in life.
Or even better in Austin, with the entirety of his chosen family as Alex called it.
Yes, that would be nice.
Christ he was daydreaming, Philip would surely notice and call it out. He always did.
It seemed luckily Philip hadn’t, though.
no, he was too absorbed in the screaming match between Catherine and Mary-
The screaming match between Catherine and Mary?
Henry turned in. And of course, as usual, it was over whose ‘fault’ it was that Henry turned out ‘like this’, as if it was the worst thing to ever happen- To be gay. To be so well loved as Alex made Henry feel. To be supported by a true life partner and companion, who could stomach his dark days and always somehow brighten his best.
Poor Bea looked horrified, hand clutching at his arm desperately.
He was very lucky for the warm comforting weight of the obese Siamese in his lap.
It reminded him of the childhood lap lizard Alex once told him about to keep him focused in school.
Maybe Alex needed a cat. Maybe David needed a friend.
They should get a cat the second he gets home.
Oh, he was daydreaming again.
“I knew this would happen when you took up with a deviant like that!” Mary yelled.
Philip, shockingly, was the one to jump up at their fathers defense.
“How dare you speak of my father in that way!”
“What the hell do you mean deviant? Arthur never had so much as a speeding ticket in his life” Catherine laughed, simply for no way to express her shock and offense.
“I know , Catherine. And don’t act coy. I always knew. I know what kind of deviant that man was. An actor, seriously? I knew the second I saw him. And then I did my research.”
Catherine paled.
“You will not besmirch my husband and my children’s fathers legacy” her voice cracked, with a dangerous edge.
“What the hell is going on? What is she talking about?” Bea worried.
“Well Catherine, why don’t you tell them? Where Henry got it from?”.
Henry’s face was riddled in concern.
Whatever was coming, he needed Alex.
Alex Alex Alex.
Alex would make it make sense. Alex would fix it.
What the hell did he ‘get’ from his dad? A fondness for double breasted suit jackets and a James Bond like charm?
He looked towards the door at Shaan, face contorted in concern and met with an easing expression and Shaan turning his attention to his phone.
Okay. Okay. Alex would be read in.
“You heinous bitch. How dare you. I hate you.”
Catherine took a shaky breath.
“My loves, What your grandmother is alluding to is the fact that your father was bisexual”
Beas eyes widened.
You could hear a hairpin drop.
(You could hear Mr. Wobbles making biscuits on Henrys Savile Row trousers)
Philips face was carefully neutral as he stood up, storming out without a word.
That was usually Henry's move at these miserable occasions.
Instead Henry was frozen.
Oh.
Poor Dad.
Catherine looked at the two younger children with a soft sadness in her eyes, breathing in shortly with an apologetic smile before chasing out to follow Philip, calling his name desperately.
“Hen? Hen are you okay?” Bea worried, hands desperately Cupping his cheeks.
The weight of Mister Wobbles and his sister's hands were the only thing stopping the spinning spiral in his mind.
“I… i just- I don’t-“
“Do you need me to call Alex?”.
Henry looked to find Shaan, realizing his grandmother had also left the room at some point, and Shaan had a comforting hand on his shoulder.
That Coward.
“I- not yet. I just need time to handle this myself I think. I’ll call him later”
“Of course”.
“Want to go to my room?”.
Henry hadn’t heard a better idea in his whole life.
“Yes, please. Let’s- Shaan? Can you-“ “I’ll have tea and jaffas sent up, of course” “thank you Shaan… maybe some other biscuits too. Lots of biscuits. With chocolate”.
Henry and Bea kicked off their shoes, crawling under Beas covers like they were kids hiding from a thunderstorm again.
Henry missed David. Fighting the cat for his biscuits was fun, but he wished David was here for the chaos.
“Did you know?” He asked.
Bea shook her head.
“I had no idea… I don’t think Philip even did.”
Henry nodded.
“Clearly. He looked bloody blind sided. That homophobic prick is going to be besides himself for weeks. It feels like Karma honestly, but that’s not fair to dad, is it?”
Bea frowned.
“Hen…”
“Don’t ‘hen’ me. You see how he acts. How he treats me.” He tsked.
Philips' unkindness towards Henry was no secret.
Bea pressed her lips together, nodding.
“Does it bother you? Dad being-“
Beas face got defensive at Henry’s question. “Of course not”.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I know you’re not- I mean, do you feel like you didn’t know this major part of him?”
Bea shrugged.
“He was our father, not our mate, we’re not supposed to know every part of him”.
Henry hummed. It made sense.
His and Alex’s children surely wouldn’t need to know about some of their stupider life choices. Not that it was stupid, but he can’t imagine him and Alex ever actually telling their kids, or June and Nora’s if they chose to have them, that Alex and Nora dated a lifetime ago. Kids didn’t need to know every single detail of their parents' love lives.
“You don’t think he was just a closet case right?”
Henry shook his head.
“If he was gay mum would’ve said that. She called him bisexual for a reason. That’s likely how he called himself, that’s how she did too then. I’m guessing At Least. Bea, I know what you’re after. He did really love mum, okay? Remember how he looked at her? How he spoke of her? You couldn’t fake that”.
Bea nodded, misty eyed.
“Somewhere deep down I’m just scared that our whole life has been a lie” she admitted.
“Bea… no. Daddy loved us so bloody much. You know that. He loved mum, he’d have done anything for her. Christ if you’re looking for a lavender marriage you’re sure not going to carry on with the princess of England are you?”.
Bea chuckled.
“Suppose you’re right. Who’d put up with us and our crap if they weren’t head over heels?”.
Henry nudged her shoulder and smiled.
“Exactly. So don’t think that way”.
“Hey Hen? Do you want to watch Luck Of The Draw?” Bea mumbled.
Henry nodded against her shoulder.
“Yeah. That sounds nice”
Half way through Arthur’s Bond filmography, A knock came at the door.
“It’s mum, may I come in?”.
“Of course” Bea called, pausing the movie.
The door opened and in came Catherine, with a heavy looking file box in her hands.
Taking in the view- her youngest two curled up in bed, watching The French Affair , two empty boxes of Jaffa Cakes on the bedside table and Mr wobbles looking as unsightly as ever, it was almost like her children were just two normal siblings. Not the overburdened children of the crown.
“Care if I join?”
“Of course,” Henry smiled.
She kicked her own heels just like Bea had, making her way to sit herself on the bed.
It almost reminded him of Ellen’s end of day ritual, swapping heels for pencil skirts. “Momma mode on”. As she liked to announce.
Christ did Henry miss the Claremont-Diaz’s.
Catherine, as she’d been all day, was in white denim jeans and a navy blue sweater. Never the traditional princess in any sense.
“How’s Pip?” Henry was first to ask.
Cathrine sighed, making a meaningless gesture with her hand.
“He’s being himself. He’s carrying on with his dramatics, you know him. He’ll get over it but… he feels betrayed, lied to-“
“He’s having an existential crisis about who his father may have shagged back when Margaret Thatcher was in office?” Henry deadpanned.
Bea giggled at the absurdity.
“Henry-“
“Am I wrong?”
“No,” Catherine sighed, doing the math before nodding.
“It sounds absurd when you put it like that” “because it is,” Catherine agreed.
She sighed sadly.
“If he knew your brother was acting like this about it- it would just break his heart” Catherine said with a crack in her voice.
“Think it would make him feel better to know his future son in law was quite like him At Least?” Henry offered.
Catherine smiled, reaching out to cup Henry’s cheek.
“Of the billion reasons he’d adore Alex, for how well he treats you, for his kindness, I think he’d be fond of their shared experience too. But it would be at the bottom of the list, I know.”
“Is daddy being bisexual why grand mum hated him so much?” Bea asked.
It was the question on Henry’s mind too, for sure.
Catherine sighed sadly.
“Partially, likely yes. I never even knew that she knew. I wonder if he even did. The fact that she hated him for being what she considered a lesser class, for not being Royal, because he was not an aristocrat is the other half though, of course.”
Bea nodded.
It made sense now, even if it was absurd. her strong hatred.
“Why’d you never tell us?”
Catherine sighed. “It was against his wishes. I didn’t exactly understand or agree that it was anything to hide or be ashamed of but it was his story to tell, not mine.”
Bea nodded in understanding.
“What’s in the box?” Henry finally asked.
Catherine smiled softly.
“I went through some of his things that I kept just for myself, selfishly.”
“You have a right,” Bea defended.
“Some photos of when we were very young, some things from his life before me… things he put behind him when he met me, but I argued were a worthy part of him. Parts of him that I fell for, but he convinced himself I loved him in spite of''.
Bea and Henry understood.
Catherine procured some photos of a young Arthur that the siblings had never seen.
“Oh god he looks as queer as me” Henry chuckled at one particular photo of Arthur on a beach in Greece.
Catherine grinned.
“Oh he was wild in those days. I didn’t know him then but I sure heard the stories, met these old friends. Oh my. He puts your Oxford days to shame”.
Henry blushed. “How did you know about that?”.
Cathrine just hummed. “A mother knows…”.
Catherine procured a book of immaculately maintained prints- not prints, but sketches and original works that Henry recognized in an instance.
His breath hitched.
“I… I kept these in storage for the last many years, but they were prized to your father. He thought they were just beautiful. Maintaining his collection was important to me” Catherine explained, as she opened the book.
“Oh my goodness, are these original Leyendecker’s? I- I love his work. Oh my god, these are…”
“These were his private collection, many never seen publicly. He told me he loved them because they showed gay men in what he perceived as loving, healthy companionships, like the ones he had and knew, in a way that the news and television was unwilling to portray gay love in our youth”
“Oh my goodness… me and Alex did a photoshoot inspired by Leyendecker’s work for Vogue editorial a few months ago-“
“I recall. I wanted- I truly considered telling you then, actually. Showing you. And… I just, I saw every bit of your dad in you when I saw that spread. I was so proud of you. You and Alex just looked beautiful. You looked the way your dad always wanted to see queer love- as something beautiful and elegant and intimate. He would have just been over the moon. You were always his pride and joy.” Catherine beamed.
“I wanted to tell you but… I didn’t want to go against his wishes.” She restated.
“Thank you for respecting him, mum. I understand. I appreciate it. I'm happy you didn't.”
“Of course. I could never do anything that would have hurt him. I could never understand why he was so ashamed of that part of him, I loved him without a care in the world for it. It was part of him. His big heart that had too much love for just women or men, how could I fault him for that? For too much love to give”.
Henry hummed.
It sounded familiar.
He knew exactly what it was like to love a man like that.
“Of course you know that Allie is bisexual as well. I don’t know exactly how dad felt but… Alex has confided his own insecurities about his bisexuality in me many times. Usually he fears others' perceptions of him. I bet dad did too. He fears that I will believe he’s unfaithful, or that I believe he’ll leave me for a woman when he’s ready to have a family which, trust me I know Alex, through and through to his bones, and I know neither of those things are not in his nature. Sometimes he feels dirty because of it, he feels like his bisexuality is equivalent with promiscuity, or that it’s perceived that way. Which- even if he was, who would I be to judge the man I love for that? That’s foolish. Many bisexual men who find their life partner in a woman, like dad did, to my understanding, see, maybe only deep down and subconsciously, but see their past relations with men as sinful, and dirty. Bisexual people… it’s not that they are hard to love, loving Alex feels like breathing, but sometimes when they carry the internalized shame and guilt like dad and Alex do, it’s hard to see the person you love struggle to love themselves so much. That's what's hard. To see the hurting. They don’t feel accepted by the greater gay and lesbian community, they don’t fit into straight society. It’s not easy on them. B isn’t a silent letter”
Catherine hung on every word, even though Henry felt he'd rambled.
She agreed completely.
“That sounds very close to how he felt. I hated it, seeing him so down on himself for something he knew he had no control over. Your father was the most faithful man god ever made. He was so devoted to us. And for Philip to say-“
“Mum, Breathe. It’s alright. He’ll… he’ll come around. Martha will get through to him, I'm sure.”
Catherine nodded slowly.
“I hate how he treats you, Henry. And to see him turn his hate onto his father. The things he said-”
“Mum, either he’ll come around, or he'll continue to isolate himself from everyone but Mary. either he learns how to be kind, or he loses everyone around him one by one. You can't force someone to be kind”
Catherine’s lips quirked when she noticed a book on Beas dresser, desperate for a more pleasant topic..
“Are you reading-“
Bea blushed. “I borrowed it from Henry’s room. I’ve been on a vampire kick lately.”
“I always wondered why he loved those Anne Rice novels so much. This explains it.” Bea mused.
Henry’s head tilted.
“Dad?”
Bea and Cathering giggled wildly.
“Oh my god, love, he adored them. You didn’t know?”.
Henry’s eyes widened.
“I always thought they were yours!” Henry gasped.
His father? The great classics afficianatto?
Catherine grinned.
“Heavens no. Not my cup of tea. But Your father loved a good porny romance novel. It was his darkest secret. I don’t even know how Bea knew”.
“They were on his side of the bookshelf” she just shrugged.
Catherine wetly laughed.
Henry let himself warmly think for a moment, think about himself and Alex, laid in bed at night. When Alex would be finishing up school readings and catching up on his mothers name in the news, Henry would be reading whatever absolute garbage romance novel he’d found this week. They too, were his dark dirty literature nerd secret. He just loved them.
Loved subjecting Alex to the terrible smut, loved explaining the over complicated plots to the man beside him.
Alex would just snort, roll his eyes and tease.
Then beg Henry to tell him more.
He wondered if that’s how it went for his parents.
“This is so strange. I loved those books in college. They were my guilty pleasure.”
Catherine smiled.
“Oh I know, trust me. You really were always the mini him”
“I really miss him,” Bea whispered into Henry’s shoulder.
“I know you do darling, I know. Me too” Cathering whispered, stroking her hair.
By the end of the Film, both Catherine and Bea had a head on Henry's Shoulder, curled up under the comforter.
It was funny, how for all Philips' opinions and posturing and judgements, Henry was apparently the reigning ‘man of the family’ now if this scene was anything to go by. He sure remembered his father in this position with Catherine and bea many times, meeting Henry's eyes with a loving sparkle and pressing his pointer to his lips.
It felt later than it was when Henry finally retired to his room for the night.
He finally called Alex around 9.
“Hey baby. What’s going on? Shaan said it was bad, what’s the matter? Been thinking about you all day. Worried me sick”.
Henry would do anything to have Alex’s hands around him as he asked that. To just lay in his arms and air his day to him.
“Everything’s calmed down. Sorry I didn’t text sooner. It just became a ‘lay in bed and watch dads films’ day and I hardly checked my phone. It was quite the day. Today, I found out that my father was bisexual”
“Oh. Woah. That’s some wild news.” Alex mused.
Henry heard rustling on the other end of the phone. He could imagine Alex getting situated, moving around, settling in.
“I know. The last few hours I was with mum and Bea and… it was very pleasant. Truly. Mum told us a lot of things about him that we didn’t know. I’ve realized he was actually a lot like you, actually”.
“Because we’re both bi?” Alex chuckled.
“Partially yes, but that’s not it, of course. His fondness for certain queer artists you like, his internal battle with himself over his identity. It reminded me of someone.”
“How’s Pip taking the news? Who broke it?”
“Philips being a fucking prick”
Alex chuckled. He was never used to Henry cursing.
The depth of the issue bothered him though.
“Philips always a fucking prick. I'm sorry honey.” Alex breathed.
“And grand mum broke it. Mum didn’t even know she knew. She was blind sided and enraged. It's a whole bloody thing.”
“Your mom knew?”
Henry hummed in acknowledgement.
“Yes. She explicitly knew, and she embraced him wholeheartedly with no trepidation. She only never told us because it was against his wishes.”
“Embracing him with no trepidation huh? Sounds like someone I know”
Henry found himself blushing and giggly at the comparison.
“I can’t help it. You’re just so easy to love… it's funny you mention it. Something about her talking about what it was like to love a man like my father… I resonated with it. It reminded me of the luxury of being allowed to love a man like you”.
Alex swallowed and was quiet for a moment. Alex wasn't insecure about much, but Henry knew this was a kiss to a very tender spot.
“I’m sorry about Philip. And about Mary” Alex sobered.
“Thank you. It… hurts to say the least. For the first time a family meeting didn’t turn into tearing my identity apart… instead, dads. Dad can’t defend himself, you know?”
“That’s why you and Bea and your mom have to do it”
Henry hummed in agreement.
“He collected Leyendecker’s, you know?”.
“Really. How about that” Alex smiled. Henry could hear it.
“They’re beautiful. Next time you come here, I’ll have to show you them. Just gorgeous. Stuff we’ve never seen. And you won’t guess who also had a fondness for our friends Louis and Lestat many moons ago”.
Alex laughed.
“Oh I totally see it. Makes me feel weird about how much we liked the interview series last year”
Henry blushed at the memory.
They could barely get through an episode without rushing to bed.
“Don’t bring that up, heavens”.
Alex laughed on the other side.
“How deep did you get into the Jimmy-B-binge?”.
“ French affair ”
“Fuckin love affair ”
Henry chuckled. “I know. Some of his best work.”
Henry enjoyed a minute of comfortable silence.
“I had mister wobbles on my lap the whole meeting, and I kept thinking about that lap lizard thing you told me about”.
Alex snorted.
“And it took till college to get my ADHD diagnosed. How is that fat bastard?”
Henry grinned.
“Fat and sassy as ever. Fucking ghastly little bastard i love him so much. He makes me miss David though”
“He misses you too,” Alex offered.
Henry’s phone buzzed in his hands and he looked to see a photo of David sitting at Alex’s feet just in front of the couch, begging for Alex’s dinner.
“I think he’s in good enough company”
“Maybe I miss you too”
“Fuck I miss you”
“How do you feel about the news? How are you taking it?”
Henry let himself reflect on that question.
“I thought I always knew my dad quite well… I knew what cologne he wore and his favorite novel and why he liked New York so much and his favorite foods and exactly what to get him every year for his birthday but… this made me question that. Then i realized, it wasn't that this meant i knew my father any less, he was always this exact version of himself, i just didn't know that… does that make any sense?”
“Baby, I understand it completely. When we first kissed i had some similar feelings, that i didn't know you, then i realized that being gay changes nothing about how much i knew you… then you know, i figured some stuff out. Nevertheless, I get it.”
Henry sighed in relief that he made sense.
"there's something in me that... whenever I face struggles, I want to ask him for help. he always knew what to do. and knowing he lived life as a queer man, it just makes me wish I could ask him for help with things even more. because now I know he would have understood so much more."
Alex was quiet on the other side of the phone. "I get it baby. maybe not exactly but, with pa, I know he knows what its like to be a latino man in this country. he always gets it and he always makes it better, even when he can't. im sorry you dont have that baby"
"at least im on this journey with you, right?"
"you are" Alex promised. "being a out, queer, public male figure, were on this journey together, forever"
“And then, speaking to Mum… I realized that you and dad had many things in common regarding your own complicated feelings regarding your bisexuality. I know i said this already, but i truly felt a lot closer to her realizing we knew that it was like to love a man so burdened by his own heart”.
“That's lovely baby… I'm happy for you, really. just so you know I offered to come. Asked Shaan if it was a break-the-sound-barrier emergency”.
Henry chuckled.
“It wasn’t. Thank you.”
“I didn't want to make more messes for you by coming if it wouldn't help you. I'm glad everything ended well”
Henry hummed. “It's fine, truly. No sweat. It was a nice family bonding day with mum and Bea-”.
Henry cut himself off with a yawn.
Alex cooed.
“Awww Is my baby tired from his long emotional day?”
Henry pouted.
“Don't you patronize me. Dick”
“You are what you eat. And I'm not, I swear. You're just so cute when you're tired. I miss seeing that sleepy little bunny face. Get some rest baby, you had a long day” Alex cooed.
“I can’t wait to be home”
“Just a few hours baby. You’ll be home in time for dinner”.
“Oh god does that sound nice… can you stay on the line until i fall asleep?”
“Absolutely. Im glad it all went well baby. Sleep tight okay?”
Henry hummed something that sounded like an affirmation, and quiet snores filled the line not much later.