Chapter Text
After the war, hospitals all over Japan were filled with as many patients as possible. There weren't just heroes in pain, many civilians got caught in the crossfire and needed medical care. All For One, the mastermind behind it all, was dead. Relief swept the nation as well as the entire world. Even while healing from injuries, everyone tried to stay positive. At least the super villain they all feared was gone. Despite the fact the heroes won, and medical attention was given, experts knew there would be a lot more mental and emotional recovery ahead.
Some of the most affected by the many tragedies were the children, specifically the hero students. Being young, they were not prepared for the personal responsibility they were about to feel. One student in particular felt an overwhelming wave of guilt and loss of control.
Because of past actions he was made to take, his family was going to be facing a swift trial, and he was concerned about how much they were rushing it. They couldn’t possibly be prepared enough. Unlike him, his parents couldn’t sneak by on technicalities. They were adults not minors.
That was not the only thing he was concerned about. His classmates really put their all into fighting for everyone's safety and freedom. As a result, many of them had intense injuries. At least some of them were awake and doing well. While waiting for the legal proceedings Aoyama was able to visit his friends if he pleased. Out of the kids, Mina Ashido, Toru Hagakure, Tenya Iida, and a couple others were conscious and awake. Unlike Katsuki Bakugo, Shoto Todoroki, Denki Kaminari, and most importantly, Izuku Midoriya, who were asleep and or recovering.
This wouldn’t be much of a problem since they need to rest, but the number one person Aoyama wanted to talk to was pretty much in a coma. From all the intense work he had to put in to ensure the safety of the world. Midoriya was the only person he felt entirely safe around, since Midoriya is a very understanding person and someone he could relate to. Aoyama wondered what would have happened to him if he had never reached out to befriend the green haired hero with a heart of gold. He didn’t dwell on it though, so much was already going on, and he was going to need his sanity for the next month. So instead of worrying, he tried to think of all the good memories he had with Midoriya. It helped him calm down from the severity of the situation he was in.
Just as he had calmed down, an unexpected interruption startled him back into fear. Fortunately it was nothing to be worried about since it was just a very concerned teenage girl. He immediately recognised the girl to be Ashido, considering her unique appearance. Not that she gave him much time to react, as she flung herself on to his hospital bed to give him a big hug.
“Are you okay? Are you dead?” she yelled, even though he was obviously alive. “You scared everything out of me. I was so afraid you weren't going to make it!” It wasn’t very comforting to hear that. It was clear that she was being truthful however, as she was practically sobbing into his shoulder. He was confused on why she cared so much, he assumed she was upset with him. Unlike Midoriya or even Kirishima who decided to reach out to him, she just stood there crying while holding on to Jiro. He honestly didn’t think she wanted anything to do with him.
“I just care about you, you know? You’re my friend Aoyama, and I know I didn’t say anything to you when it happened, but I just need you to know I don’t hate you. I had no clue if I would ever be able to tell you that, but I am so glad you’re still here with us so I could.” At this point she had still not let go of her hug, “Stay with us for longer, please, it wouldn’t be the same without you at U.A.”
Aoyama didn’t know how to comfort people very well, so he gave his best answer, “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
“I swear to god if you’re lying I'll cry in your face so loud it’ll make you regret fibbing!” She pouted like an upset puppy, looking him right in his eyes to make sure he got the point.
“I understand. I wouldn’t want to upset you any further.” He looked away, not able to meet her in her eyes like she did a second ago.
Ashido was about to say something before someone else entered the room, she stopped to turn and acknowledge them. Turns out it was Iida.
“I heard you were awake so I came to see you. I see Ashido has made her way over here too.” Iida pointed out, taking a seat in the chair next to Aoyama’s hospital bed, which was probably where Ashido should have sat if she wasn’t so eager to see her friend. The girl herself had only taken one arm off of his shoulder since Iida came in.
“I can’t believe you’re even here,” Aoyama started, “You should be visiting someone who deserves your time, like Midoriya.”
“Oh, you don’t know?” Ashido asked.
“Midoriya is still asleep, he needs more time to wake up. I asked myself what he would want if he was awake. I figured he would have wanted me to visit you, tell you what you need to hear.” Iida explained, painting a clearer picture for Aoyama to hear.
Before they could react, Aoyama started to cry. “You shouldn’t be worried about me, I’ve done so much damage. I don’t even know why I’m talking to you. I should be telling you to leave and care for your own wounds. I can handle this by myself, it’s the least I could do.” He tried to stop crying, but failed to hold back his tears. Iida didn’t seem to enjoy the waterworks, after all, it was very depressing to witness the fall of their once sparkly classmates happiness. It fit so weird on him, it was clear this wasn’t the same boy they had met on the first day of U.A. Everything had taken so much out of him, that it wasn’t clear if this is who he really was under his facade, or if it was a sadder version of it. Either way, it only made Iida and Ashido more upset that they hadn’t caught on to his pain sooner.
“Because you’re our classmate, and we don’t ever leave each other behind. The more time I've had to think about what you were going through, the more It hurts me. Your parents tried to change you, and it left you traumatized, their actions led you down a path you deeply regret. I do not blame you for being afraid. If anyone should feel the most responsibility, it’s your mother and father.” Iida tried to make him feel better, “Although I cannot tell you the details, I know what it is like to feel as if you’ve fallen off the path. You are not the only one in this room that has broken the law.”
Both Aoyama and Ashido took a double take, this was the first they had heard of this. It was hard to envision the class rep doing something so irresponsible. It seemed like they weren’t going to get any answers though.
“I have also done wrong for the sake of family, and I promise, it does get better. Maybe it never fully goes away, but it lessens.” Iida tried to calm him down with his words as Ashido rubbed circles into his back, working together to calm down their friend. Aoyama only seemed to cry harder when he realized what they were doing. He was never comforted in this way before, he wasn’t used to being cared for when he was upset. His parents would only try to stop their own crying rather than his. They would always bring up how sorry they were, and that they were such bad parents. It was never truly directed at him, it was just a way for his parents to feel sorry for themselves. Though he never viewed it that way in his own eyes.
“You don’t need to be ashamed of crying, this must be painfull.” If Iida had stopped there, it would have been enough, but there was one more thing he wanted to say. He had no idea it would cause such a negative reaction.
“You don’t have to let what your parents did to you follow your every move. I’m sure once they have faced true justice your days will be much brighter. They should have been more responsible, it should have been easy to see how their actions would affect you in the future. There's no excuse for discriminating against your own child, even if that fear of judgement is founded or not. I’m caught on how a parent could put their kid in danger like that for their own selfish desires.”
“Selfish?” Aoyama couldn’t look either of them in the eye. “Do you all really hate my parents this much?” After they had stopped his tears, Ashido and Iida thought he was done crying, but after what was said… “They’re humans too, they couldn’t have known. They were so desperate to help me that they put their own lives at risk. That’s not selfish.” He was trying his best not to burst into tears to the point he was basically whimpering.
His two classmates didn’t know what to do.
“You don’t understand how much they care about me. I even put them in danger but they still blame themselves. It was all my fault for being born this way.” He continued to hold back tears. “Please don’t blame them for my existence.”
They watched as he spiraled into a mess. It was obvious Aoyama cared so much about his parents he was willing to defend them to the ends of the earth. Iida figured he had to say something. He couldn’t watch this any longer.
‘I’m sorry.”
Aoyama lifted his head to look at Iida.
“I should have known that wasn’t a good thing to say. I already concluded through my own experiences that you love them deeply. It was wrong to be so accusatory when you undoubtedly would not have taken it well.”
“You don’t have to apologize Iida, what you said is true. Just because he can’t take it doesn’t mean he doesn’t need to hear it!” Ashido suddenly became heated. Aoyama looked at her with an expression she couldn’t describe.
“Stop making excuses just because you love them!” She continued.
“Ashido, just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean you have the right to push him so hard.” Iida tried to calm her down from her sudden outburst. “We should be careful about what we say.”
“It’s great you feel that way Iida, but don’t try to force me to feel that way too.” Ashido turned harshly and stormed out of the room.
Iida was about to chase after her, but he stopped when he got to the door. He set his gaze over to Aoyama with an apologetic look. “I’m very sorry for Ashido's behaviour, that was uncalled for. She cares in her own way, but she can be very opinionated. If she hurt you she didn’t mean it.”
“It’s fine.” Aoyama had his knees to his chest and was holding himself to stop from shaking. He wasn’t looking at the other boy, focusing on the window instead.
It was silent and nobody was talking anymore. Iida wanted to say more, but he wasn’t sure what else to tell him.
“I’m going to talk to Ashido, just visit me if you need anything. I should be on the third floor, the room number is 128.” Then he left Aoyama alone.
He spent the rest of his day watching the news.
The next day he felt extra thirsty, but the nurses were nowhere to be found. When he tried to get up he immediately fell to the floor. He hadn’t noticed that he couldn’t walk when he was so preoccupied with Ashido and Iida. At that moment the realization hit Aoyama that he needed to regain the strength of his legs.
When he told the doctors about it, they told him in return that he would need to spend one or two days fixing the problem. It was a relief nothing was permanent, though it sucked to be so helpless. He wanted to take back control over his life and this would just be another obstacle to overcome.
The first thing he wanted to do was visit Midoriya. Even though the doctors said the freckled boy was slowly waking up, Aoyama wasn’t supposed to see him. They were worried any contact could disturb him and wake him up prematurely. This was upsetting, Midoriya was someone he really cared about, and he desperately needed to talk to him. When he woke up Aoyama wanted to be there. This caused him to push himself during his sessions with the doctors, who would scold him for it.
Aoyama was getting worried he would not make it by the time he had officially gained consciousness. The hospital staff, of course, reassured him that everything was going to be okay. So he didn’t complain about it at all, not like he ever complained about anything to the doctors anyways.
Midoriya was the only thing on his mind at the moment. It seemed like these days, Midoriya was like some sort of saint to him. He was the guy who turned his life around for the better after all. It was this idea of Midoriya that kept him going, he was determined to see him again. He was determined indeed, as on the fourth day, Aoyama had had enough of waiting. He still could barely walk, so he had to be careful when he got up, but one way or another, he was going to see the guy he thought of as his hero.
He put one of his feet on the ground, and started to put his other foot down. Before continuing, he checked to see if any staff were around, and when he saw none, he immediately tried putting weight on his legs. They felt like gelatin as Aoyama grabbed onto the wall to stabilize himself. It didn’t hurt, but it was very uncomfortable, like pins and needles. He wouldn’t stop trying to get up, even if it were to start hurting, the thought of Midoriya would keep him going. Nothing could stop him from getting this, it was the most important thing to him for multiple days, and it was clear he was desperate.
He ended up making it to the door of his room then opened said door, trying his best to not lose his balance as he did. He didn’t even think before he stumbled out of his room and into the hall, where he bumped into something, only for that something to be a person who caught his fall.
“Shit! Oh my god, do you mind yourself? You almost killed m-” the boy talking stopped, only to start speaking again, “Aoyama from class A? Aren’t you supposed to be in bed? You gave me a heart attack!” Aoyama looked up to see the last person he thought he would see.
“Monoma?”
“Yup, that's my name, don’t wear it out.” Monoma responded.
Aoyama had blinked for a moment, before realizing he should definitely fix himself. He grabbed onto Monoma’s shoulders and tried to stabilize his stance. Monoma helpfully grabbed him by his upper arms to assist.
“It’s quite obvious you can’t stand, I'm sure you've realized that, so why in the world are you trying to walk so far?” Monoma asked, raising one of his eyebrows instinctively, “I mean- where would you even need to go? We're in a hospital, not a mansion.”
“I’m trying to visit my friend.” Aoyama flinched, clearly scared of the boy who had a pension for tormenting his class..
“Jeez, I’m not going to kill you or anything, calm down. I’m not here to make fun of you for being part of class A either, just confused is all. You should really be careful, I don’t want you to get hurt or anything, I want to help you. Might sound weird coming from me, but I mean it.” Monoma tried to reassure.
“Concerned? For me? Even though I'm obviously not a good person? I thought you hated people that were self-centered and narcissistic.” Aoyama was confused, there was no way Monoma genuinely thought he was worth being worried about.
“I’m not sure what to think anymore. So much chaos has happened and it’s messing with me. I know what you did, but to be honest, that's not my problem. I get the sense you kind of hate yourself. I would make fun of you but I've been there. So don’t be so terrified, you’re not my enemy.” Monoma finished, patting Aoyama's shoulder pitifully as some sort of peace treaty.
Before anything else was said, Monoma realized he was still holding onto him in a weird way, so he slung his arm over Aoyama’s shoulders to prop him up differently. Just as he did so, he had an idea.
“To show you I’m not that bad, how about I help you over to your friend? I don’t have any reason not to. It could be a bonding experience or something, maybe we could even be friends ourselves.” Monoma suggested.
“Really, you’d do that for me?” Aoyama asked, turning his head to Monomas' direction.
“Of course, Kendo told me I should branch out my options, and I really need a friend in your class if I really want to get over my biases. I think you might be the perfect guy for that. Sound good or no?”
“You sure you're not just saying that because I’m the first person you bumped into?” he asked, “ I guess it doesn’t really matter though, I do need friends. You know, you don’t seem as bad as my class makes you out to be. So I guess I could use your company, it would be nice to have someone to talk to right now.” Aoyama smiled, and after he did, he realized that it had been a real smile. He could tell because he was so used to the artificial one, it felt very different than the fake smile he was used to showing.
“You have a nice smile, use it often? It’s very different from your usual one.”
“Yeah, that one isn’t exactly real, I couldn’t bring myself to smile back then, so I made one up. I know, that's depressing, right? How messed up do you have to be to make up a new way to smile?” Aoyama looked down, clearly ashamed of himself.
“Well, we're all a little messed up, aren’t we? I don’t see anything wrong with it, it certainly is unique.” Monoma tried to cheer him up, Aoyama just stared at the floor a little harder.
“Some people are more messed up than others.” he responded bleakly.
Monoma was taken aback by the bleak statement. He hadn’t expected Aoyama to be so emo. It was honestly kinda weird.
Monoma didn’t really know what to do at that moment, “Who’s room are you looking for?” he asked tentatively.
“Izuku Midoriya’s, please.” Aoyama responded, the tone in his voice more downturned than it was seconds ago.
He took that as an invitation to start moving, so he supported Aoyama’s weight and walked with him to where he wanted to go. On their way there, they started their conversation back up since the silence wasn’t exactly comfortable.
“So… you’re still in the hospital? I just figured since you seem to be walking and you don’t look that bad, you must be ready to leave soon, no?” Aoyama asked, and if he were still the same him from first year, he would have said non, instead of no, but he didn’t exactly feel like speaking any French at the moment.
“Yeah, you would think so. Turns out the healing process is quite a bit slower when you don’t have Recovery girl speeding it up. Apparently she’s all backed up with work at the moment, she has to pick her battles, and right now she’s only healing high risk patients and citizens. I tried to tell them that if she healed me and got me out of the hospital, I could help her with her work load, but I was denied. They told me that I should rest with the other students, and said that as a kid, I shouldn’t have to strain myself too much. I guess I see where they're coming from, still doesn't suck any less though.” he explained, upset that he couldn’t do more to help.
“We do deserve a break though, don’t we? We can’t spend everyday trying to help people. It’s depressing I know, as heroes in training we all want to help. We still have to take care of ourselves, which is hypocritical of me to say considering how little I seem to really help myself. There's umm, a lot of things I need to work on…”
“Well don’t we all have our own problems to deal with? I guess it’s what makes us human.” Monoma reassured him.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Aoyama agreed, legs still uncomfortable as ever as they reached the room with ‘Izuku Midoriya’ written on the clipboard.
“Seems like you’ve reached your stop, do you want to go in alone, or do you want me to come with you? Either is fine, I won't get all salty if you want some privacy.”
“It would be nice to have someone with me, but if you don’t feel comfortable with me crying violently you don’t have to.” Aoyama made what Monoma couldn’t tell was a joke or not.
Before Monoma could ask, Aoyama was already opening the door to Midoriya's hospital room. He followed him inside, signaling his comfort with joining him. When they got in, they realized the lights were off, probably because no doctors or visitors were in the room. So Aoyama found the light switch with Monoma’s help, and proceeded to turn it on. When he did, the room became illuminated and they could see the inside.
The first thing they noticed was the curtain dividing the room. It looked like there was someone else in there. They assumed it was to save space, which made sense because of all the people who were hurt in the war. Then there was Midoriya, who looked beat up but still ethereal in a way. At least Aoyama felt that way. Monoma on the other hand, thought Midoriya looked like he got hit by a truck.
Even though hospital visits for Midoriya were common, something about this just felt different. Maybe because it was clear that they shouldn’t be in here, they didn’t have permission after all.
“Uhh, maybe we should go back?” Monoma suggested.
“Well we're already here, it couldn’t hurt so just say hello, could it?” Aoyama tried moving closer to his classmate, who he couldn't call his friend in good conscious after recent events. Monoma had to follow to not risk Aoyama falling on his face.
They both sat down on the chairs next to Midoriya’s hospital bed, Monoma now relieved he didn’t have to worry about supporting Aoyama’s weight to stop him from falling for the time being. It was almost funny considering if the old Monoma was here, he would have purposely dropped him.
Aoyama poked Midoriya on his shoulder gently, there was little to no response other than Midoriya’s fingers twitching slightly. He frowned as he watched his classmate intently, it was clear that he was going to cry if things kept going as they were. Midoriya was somewhat responsive, sure, but not enough to ensure Aoyama would feel any less upset. He really did blame himself for so much, even when he wasn’t involved in specifics, Midoriya’s condition was not an exception.
“I just wish I could have done more for him, you know? I’m aware I wasn’t able to do as much as I wanted to, but it still hurts.” Aoyama was rubbing Midoriya’s shoulder as he spoke. “There's still so much more I could have said.”
“I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to talk to him later, he’s not dead yet.” It probably wasn’t the best thing Monoma could have said, but it was all he could think of since the situation was quite awkward for him. At least it didn’t seem to make things worse for the other, since currently he was sitting in silence, thinking about something Monoma couldn’t figure out.
He wasn’t exactly well versed in Aoyama’s and Midoriya’s friendship, but to be fair, not even Midoriya was. The blonde had always been unreadable, even when you think you knew him, there was always something you couldn’t see. A good quality when it came to confusing villains, but a lousy one when applied to socializing. There was still so much Aoyama couldn’t understand about himself, he wasn’t the exception.
As the two were alone with their thoughts, some footsteps could be heard outside the room. They didn’t notice until the door opened back up to reveal a nurse on the other side. The lights probably tipped her off, along with the absence of Monoma and Aoyama from their hospital beds.
“What are you two doing here? You should be in bed recovering, especially you, Mr. Aoyama.” She pointed her clawed finger at him with her other hand on her hip, disappointment in her voice. The accused tried to stand up, but ultimately failed. “See? You’re stumbling. Did this young man help you over here?” She looked at Monoma with twice as much disappointment than she gave to the other.
“I did, yeah…” Monoma sighed, “But he was really sad, what was I supposed to do, not help?” He got up and looked right in the nurse's eyes.
“No, of course not! But you should have told him it was safer to sit and wait to visit, then walked him back to his room. We don’t know if it could be dangerous for him to walk without supervision.” The woman scolded.
“He seems fine to me.” Monoma returned the tone she gave to him. Bless his heart, he doesn’t know when to lay down.
Aoyama sat there watching the two stare at each other, shrinking into himself as if he was trying to avoid being seen. He wished that they could be doing this away from Midoriya’s unconscious body. Unfortunately for him, as the two sassed each other back and forth, the unconscious boy was slowly gaining conscience.
Midoriya started making noises, then Monoma and the nurse stopped their bickering.
“Okay you two, you need to go now, i’ll call the appropriate professionals. He needs his space right now. We can talk about your behavior later, but you have to leave, no complaining.” She demanded, and the two decided to listen.
Monoma offered a hand and the other boy took it, getting themselves out of there so Midoriya could get the medical attention he needed.
“That was an interesting first adventure.” Monoma mused, politely dragging the other blonde back to his room in the hospital.
“I could hardly call that an adventure, you didn’t even get to throw down with the nurse. A completely wasted opportunity I feel.” Aoyama jokes, bumping his fist to Monoma’s shoulder like he’d seen Ashido do to her friends before.
“Well we’ll have lots more fun coming our way i’m sure.” He responded, giving Aoyama a look only a bastard could pull off. If there was one thing he loved, it was stirring the pot, to which the other boy was unfortunately aware.
When they got back to their rooms after being interrupted by the nurse, and getting their time cut short, they gave each other their goodbyes. Only one second later did they realize they could see into their rooms. It turned out that they had been put right across from one another.
“Huh, that's funny.” Monoma thought out loud, “Don’t you think it’s interesting that our rooms are right in front of one another?”
“I guess our meeting was set in stone the day they put us in the hospital.” Aoyama gave a small but warm smile to the other boy.
“Perhaps” He responded.
“I’ll see you around, though I don’t really think we have a choice.” Aoyama snorted, immediately covering the bottom half of his face with his hands. Tragically, this caused him to lose his balance and fall right on his ass.
“Pfft-” Monoma had to stop himself from laughing, “Couldn’t be me. Maybe you should learn to keep your balance!” Then, like some karmic justice, Monoma stumbled backwards. Although he managed to keep his feet on the ground. He immediately shut up, stepping closer to the other blonde, helping him rise from his throne of embarrassment that was the hospital floor.
Then, just like that, a blur rushed down the hall. All of a sudden, Aoyama was back on his throne as he was tackled to the floor. Monoma stood there confused, watching his fellow man being bear hugged by a floating hospital gown while on the dirty tiles of the ground.
“Yuga! I didn’t want to show up too early and scare you, so I waited for a couple of days. But when I saw you down the hall, I couldn’t help but rush towards you!” The girl Monoma recognised to be Hagakure wept.
“Sooo, Hagakure is it?” Monoma interrupted, a bit of sass in his voice.
The Sobbing mess on the floor stopped crying, then she snapped her head to the side to look at Monoma, (Or, at least, Monoma assumed she did). Then as quickly as she ran, her demeanor completely changed from sad and concerned to pointed and sour.
“Oh, it’s you.” Her voice was devoid of any positive emotion, “Did ya come to laugh at the unfortunate? Maybe I need to give you a slap.” She threatened, still sitting on the floor.
Monoma decided to take that as a sign of his leave, so he turned around and entered his room, closing the door to escape Hagakure’s invisible wrath. He figured he could get Aoyama’s contact later.
She turned her attention back to the blonde in front of her, the sadness returning to her voice.
“Are you okay?” She asked.
“As fine as I'll ever be.” He responded.
Hagakure didn’t seem to get the unserious atmosphere of the room, continuing to sound as upset as ever.
“I know I had a few days to prepare, but I still don’t quite know what to say. Do I tell you how afraid I am for you? Or would that make things worse? I wish I knew what to tell you to make yourself feel better. But it’s like- would anything even help?” Hagakure despaired, wiping her tears with the hem of her hospital gown.
“I can’t really answer that. Maybe just say what's on your mind?” He suggested while adjusting his posture to be more comfortable.
“Well, I want you to know that I’ll be there for you. Even if nobody else has your back. You’re my friend and nothing will change that. I’ll fight for you and I know you would do the same for me if I were you. Please don’t hate yourself for everything you’ve done. Just keep living on, don’t throw your life away now that you have a chance to help yourself.” She cried, reaching over to give Aoyama a hug.
The boy sat there, not returning the contact.
“I-” He couldn’t finish his sentence. All he could do was try and fail to stop himself from crying.
His brain was sent back to a couple of days ago when he told Hagakure his cryptic message. How was he supposed to go through with it when the people he cared about desperately wanted him to stay?
He pushed aside the thought for now.
“It’s gonna be okay, I swear. It’s over now and you just have to think about your future.” Hagakure tried to comfort.
“What if the idea of my future is uncertain, or scares me?” He asked, carefully wiping his tears.
“It won't be. We’ll all try to make one you can be happy with, I promise.” Hagakure hugged him tighter.
The two sat there in near silence, the only sound being that of their tears. Neither of them were certain everything would be fine, so all they could do was hope.