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"Whose bright idea was it to hold a parade in the dead of winter?" Tony complained. "It's freezing out here."
"I do believe it was your idea to come to this parade."
"Only because I knew you would like it. How are you not bothered by the cold?" Tony eyed Loki a little enviously.
"This festival holds no meaning for me. We can leave if you wish, Anthony."
"No, no, no. We're already here. We're not leaving just because it's colder than a polar bear's ass."
"Polar bear's ass?" Loki rolled the phrase over with his tongue. "What a phrase. Where do you come up with these things? Why would anyone care how cold such a thing was?"
"Would you prefer colder than a frost giant's tits?"
"I think not," Loki huffed indignantly.
"It's unfair that you aren't cold at all."
"Would you like me to start a fire for you?" Loki offered.
"No. That's ok. We don't need any magic fires."
Loki snorted. "I wasn't going to burn anyone."
"No. I know that."
"Then what is the problem?"
Tony glanced around at the other people surrounding them. "We're already attracting too much attention."
"You worry too much."
"What if someone recognizes you?"
"We are in DC, not New York. No one will recognize me here unless they are part of the Avengers or SHIELD. Do not worry so, Anthony," Loki scolded.
"I'd still feel better if we were further away from the crowds and not quite so visible."
"Am I to be your dirty secret then?"
Tony leered. "You know I have no problem with that."
"I thought you wanted to take me out, show me off. Make those foolhardy coworkers of yours realize that you don't need them and are happy without them."
"Neither Tim nor Ziva would be impressed by you," Tony countered.
"Would they not? More fool them, then."
Tony snorted. "Really, I just wanted to do something special for you for Christmas." Tony looked around the meadow where they sat on top of a plush blanket. He could see the frost on the grass and a bunch of people in front of them, but otherwise the area was peaceful and relaxing. Probably not where most people would try to take the Norse God of Mischief.
"You do realize that we barely celebrate Yule and Christmas not at all, right?"
"Shh," Tony hushed. "Let me pretend I'm sweeping you off your feet."
"I thought we were past the point of needing to pretend."
Tony pulled Loki closer, wrapping an arm around his middle. "Well I'm pretty sure pretending that we don't care about each other is a lost cause by this point in time."
"You think so? Am I not the God of Lies?"
"You are, but you don't lie to me, which I appreciate more than I can ever say."
"You earned it," Loki assured. "You showed me at a time when I thought no one ever cared for me that there was still hope."
"I still want to destroy Asgard for what they did to you. You didn't deserve it. Heck if it wasn't for those idiots, you would have never progressed past harmless pranks."
"We can return there whenever you want Anthony."
"You just want to see me go up against Odin again," Tony snarked, amused.
"Of course. It was quite entertaining to watch the All-gather get his head so completely turned around by a mortal."
"He deserved it. He's even more of an asshole than Ziva's father and that takes skill."
"So what exactly is the point of this event?" Loki asked, staring out over the people in front of them in confusion.
"It's just for fun. Those participating get some advertising out of it, but mostly it's just a way to celebrate that we're still alive and kicking and to share in the joy of the season with each other."
"You purposefully freeze yourselves for such little return?" Loki sounded bewildered.
"No. Normally, I just watch it on TV from home, but I thought you would prefer a chance to get up, close, and personal with all the interesting floats that DC can put out."
"You thought I would appreciate such a paltry offering?" Loki gestured to a float with a bunch of little men in elf costumes. "I am a God, Anthony. They don't even look like proper elves."
"Actually, I thought you would enjoy making fun of them and perhaps causing some extra mayhem during the parade when it wouldn't be noticed since it's impossible to have a parade without chaos."
"Ah. I see. Naturally occurring tricks. I approve."
Tony smiled and scooted even closer to his lover. "So you don't like the elves because they're nothing like the real ones? What if you change them to look more like real ones, temporarily, of course."
"You would allow me that?"
"I'm not the boss of you, Loki. Plus, I'm not part of the police department, so nothing you do will cause me extra work. Well... so long as you don't bring SHIELD down on our heads."
"Is that so?" Loki smirked and released a bit of magic, resulting in some startled yells as the elves grew quite a bit taller and adopted clothing more reminiscent of those from Alfheim.
"Yeah. You know I love you regardless of how much chaos you cause."
"True. It's only when I needlessly take lives that you protest."
Tony shrugged. "I am a law enforcement officer, even if I'm not the kind that has to deal with general mischief."
"If I didn't respect you so much, you would be missing a couple of annoying coworkers."
Tony grinned. "I know. I appreciate it."
"If you change your mind, let me know. I'll be more than happy to teach them a lesson about messing with what's mine."
"I'll keep that in mind, but can we stop talking about them now? I see them too much as it is."
"As you wish." Loki inclined his head slightly.
"A movie reference." Tony smirked. "You're learning."
"I know how much you like them."
"You like them too." Tony tapped his shoulder against Loki's arm teasingly.
"I like you."
"I know." Tony smiled at Loki. "Now enjoy the show and don't forget to give them something to scream about."
"What do you want to see next, Anthony?"
"How about adding a few stampeding elephants or horses or something?"
"I have just the thing." Another wave of Loki's hand and there were sirens and a bunch of stampeding animals.
Tony laughed as absolute chaos descended upon the parade. This would definitely be a parade to remember. He could hear people asking where the animals came from.
Some of the spectators screamed. The animals didn't stay confined to the parade route. Now, everyone was getting in on the fun. Tony and Loki were far enough away that they weren't bothered.
As the various cars, Santa floats, and other various parts of the parade continued on, Loki added some new pranks as each float moved past them. Tony approved, but encouraged him to start the pranks before they came into view, so that it would be more difficult for anyone to pin down even the flimsiest of correlations. The two of them tried to one up each other to see who could come up with the best pranks and reactions from the spectators. It was the most fun Tony had had in a long time.
They made the news or well the parade did. The newscasters didn't know what to think about it. No one had seen anything like it before and Tony knew they wouldn't see anything like it again.
After the parade, Tony and Loki returned home. Or more accurately they retired to Tony's apartment. It wasn't really Loki's home given the whole alien thing, but he didn't seem to mind spending time there with Tony.
"We should do that again sometime."
"I do not think your police would agree."
Tony smirked. "Perhaps not, but you don't care either."
"I thought you were trying to avoid attracting SHIELD's attention."
"Only a little. Mostly, I didn't want them to ruin Christmas for you."
"I don't see what the big deal is, Anthony."
"It's Christmas! It's the best holiday of the year."
"If you say so. I don't see the point," Loki dismissed.
"The point is to spend time together and let the people you care about know that you love them."
"Ah. Is that why you took me to the parade?"
"Among other reasons." Tony looked away, blushing.
"Thank you, Anthony." Loki leaned down and dropped a kiss on Tony's lips. Just a brief one, a tease, really.
"You're welcome, but I know you can kiss better than that." Tony pulled Loki closer and dived into a deep plundering kiss, which the mage happily returned.
All in all, it was a wonderful way to spend time together. It might even warrant a repeat the next year.