Chapter Text

New York, 2020

Alec's senses are on high alert — the darkness around them offering protection but also making them vulnerable to attacks from anyone who wishes to sneak up on them .  

He keeps his eyes strained on the figure that scrambles up the ladder a few feet away, and he listens and registers the sounds around him in order to be ready if needed.  

Alec knows that his decision is not only reckless, but also idiotic and, yet, he can't for the life of him regret it for a single second. 

Not when he sees the wide grin on Rafe's face when he reaches the top of the ladder. 

Not when a bubbly laughter escapes him as he goes down the slide.

Not when Rafe shrieks with delight as he lands firmly on his butt at the bottom of the slide.  

Alec has little to no jurisdiction for what he's doing, never has, but for some unexplainable reason both Robert and Maryse turn a blind eye to every decision Alec makes regarding Rafe. It's the kind of responsibility and freedom Alec always yearned for, but now that he has it, it leaves him feeling hollow. 

His own parents don't care enough to be involved when Alec makes a life-altering decision. Maybe it's because they've given up on Alec by now? Or more likely, they get their fill from their other children, who are all following Nephilim tradition; finding their one true love and starting families of their own, leaving Alec behind .  

Alec had continued to push through life with his back straight and head held high.

And alone. 

Until that day, two years ago, in Buenos Aires. 

To this day, it will remain a mystery, one that most likely will never be solved. What made Rafe choose him that day? He refused to leave Alec’s side since that day, becoming hysterical  when they attempted to take him away to a 'proper' family. 

At first, the thought of having the responsibility for a child made him panic. How was he supposed to care for a child? He was on his own; surely the child would be better off in a loving family. 

One look on the boy's tear-filled eyes and pleading words, made the decision for Alec. This boy chose him, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, to care for him. No one had ever chosen Alec with such determination before. Who was Alec to deny him that simply because he felt overwhelmed by the simple thought of it? 

There hadn't been any more discussions about finding Rafe a new family in the past year and Alec continues to hope  that door is forever closed. After all, Rafe is five now, and those who haven’t taken the time to get to know him have labeled him a 'difficult' child who is 'never going to become a true shadowhunter'. The odds that someone else would be willing to take Rafe on are thankfully poor.  

A giggle brings Alec out of his head and back to the present. He scolds himself for the rookie mistake of losing himself in thoughts; that's how you get yourself killed. Alec looks at Rafe and shakes his head over the ridiculousness of calling him difficult. He's a child who lost his parents, his home, his country — even his language. 

Rafe needs love, stability, and care to be able to bear that kind of trauma for the rest of his life. It may have scared him in the beginning, but by now Alec whole-heartedly believes he can give Rafe exactly what he needs.  

Seeing him going on the slide again, happy and giggling, Alec determines that the only place the Clave can shove their 'difficult' is somewhere unpleasant. He's been there, carrying the burden of expectations,  following the footsteps of tradition. He'll be damned if someone tries to force that trauma onto his ch — Rafael.  

That little mental slip up happens more and more frequently. Alec has fought it for so long, and, rationally, he knows he shouldn't grow attached — but, in his heart, he also knows that that ship has already sailed. The day Rafael leaves, whenever it may be, will utterly break Alec's heart.

A sneeze catches Alec's attention, and a few precious seconds are wasted before his brain fully registers the scene before him: Rafe is going down the slide at full speed and an unfamiliar toddler is sitting in the sand at the end of it. They are going to crash . 

By the Angel, where did they come from? 

Alec sets in motion, his mind raising. How could Alec have missed a child approaching? How lost in thoughts had he been? And most importantly, where were their parents? 

"Hey, Rafe," he calls out, rushing towards them to get the toddler away from the landing, "watch out for that little child!" 

Alec isn't fast enough, and in slow-motion he sees Rafe waving his arms and unable to stop and Alec holds his breath, bracing for the impact. 

Except, there isn't one.

Gaping, Alec stares at the toddler now levitating a few feet off the ground. Safe and sound. 

A warlock.  

Alec stops in his steps, unsure how to proceed. He hasn't encountered many warlocks in his life, and never a child. He doesn't really know that to expect. The last thing Alec wants is to scare the child or offend their parents. He looks around the playground but the darkness aside, they are the only ones around. The warlock toddler seems to be on their own. 

Alec makes a decision without even thinking, totally out of his character. Maybe it's Rafe who inspires Alec, but there's no way he could leave this toddler alone. The child is too young to be out on their own, warlock or not. Alec will deal with potential diplomatic problems later. 

Alec walks slowly towards the toddler, who is now on the ground again, looking with big blue eyes at Alec. Rafe stands mute next to the toddler, who doesn't reach the shoulders of the young shadowhunter. Rafe stares, but to Alec's surprise the usual skeptical, furrowed brow when meeting new children is missing. Instead, he's leaning towards the toddler, biting his lip; almost curiously. 

Huh. 

"Hey little buddy," Alec says to the child and crouches down in front of them, "where are your parents?"

"Not here," they giggle. 

Alec tries —and fails— to not roll his eyes at the endearingly cute answer and chooses another route instead. "I'm Alec. And this is Rafael." He ruffles Rafe's hair. "What's your name?"

"Max."

The surprise of hearing that name punches the air out of his lungs and for a moment his heart stops. He swallows down the grief threatening to drown him and puts on a forced smile. "Really? What a coincidence," he replies, hoping he doesn't scare the child away with his broken and pitched voice. "I have a brother with the same name." 

Had.

Max looks up at Alec, a toothy grin spreading over his face as he stares at Alec's face. "Your eyes are blue!" he says somewhat in awe, and points at himself. "And I'm blue." Max claps his hand in excitement. 

Alec glances at the boy, who's very much not blue. Knowing it's utterly futile to point out the wrongfulness to a child, and possibly his parabatai, Alec doesn't comment on that, but they still have t—.

"Blueberry, you little rascal—"

The trio get interrupted by a man coming around the slide. His words are most likely supposed to be light, but Alec can hear the worry lacing his voice. The man stops talking and walking when he sees them and it gives Alec a few, very welcome, seconds to pick up his jaw from the ground. 

The man is tall, especially from Alec's crouched down position . His hair is styled in various shades of color. His face is hard to read in the dim light the lamp post offers, but Alec notices the way his clothes hug his slender but not at all slim body in all the right places. 

Alec swallows. 

He needs to get a grip on himself, not drooling over a potential threat. 

Alec stands slowly, trying hard not to make it too obvious that he's pushing the children behind him. Not taking his eyes off the other man and the penny drops. 

By the Angel. 

The man before him is no other than Magnus Bane, The High Warlock of Brooklyn. Not that Alec ever met him in person, but he's seen enough pictures to be sure and his name is frequently mentioned at the Institute sinc e he is responsible for the wards of the Institute. 

The warlock's gaze wanders down from his face only to stop on the rune visible on his neck. He tenses, rolls back his shoulders and straightens to his full height. "Hello, shadowhunter."

"Hi," Alec answers dumbly but he's too busy feeling starstruck to pay any attention to the warlock's guarded, almost hostile tone. 

A silence falls between them, and Alec has trouble pinpointing what it means. On instinct, he shuffles the boys behind himself right as the other man clears his throat. "So, Max—"

The boy squeals loudly and grabs Alec around his legs, burying his face in them . "Max not here," he says.

The whole situation is so bizarre, so unreal, and yet, Alec has to force back the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. 

Magnus Bane, however, is not as amused and Alec sees him sighing rather than hears it. "Max," he says, exasperated, "we have to go." He glances at Alec. "We don't want to intrude."

"Why not?" the child asks, and Alec winces. Children are so innocent, not tainted with the bigotry and hate the world is full of.  The warlock narrows his eyes and work s his jaw. Alec's best guess is that he's trying to figure out how to tell Max that he can't play with shadowhunters. 

Alec can't help but to loo k down on Rafe, who has watched the whole exchange without a word. Rafe looks up at him at the same time, and his eyes glitter in a way Alec hasn't seen before, and the question coming out of his mouth is just as much a surprise as it is shocking. "Can he play with me?" 

Alec opens his mouth to gently let Rafe down. Before any words can come out, he snaps it shut. Why would he say no? There was no real reason for them not to play, other than ancient beliefs. They are children, they shouldn't have to suffer from t he prejudice the adults live under. Instead of letting the boy down, he puts the ball in the warlocks' court. "It's not really my decision, Rafe."

Three pairs of eyes now set on Magnus, who looks a bit taken aback. "You don't mind?" The skepticism in Magnus' voice is hard to miss. 

"No, why would I?"

Magnus snorts in a rather mocking way in lieu of an answer and Alec tries not to get offended. He's not a fool, he knows the relationship with the downworlders is fragile at best. 

"Pleeeeeeeeease Bapak!" Max pleads, looking at Magnus with his big, innocent eyes and an adorable pout. "Please, please, please, please."

Alec can see the way the warlock is fighting some sort of inner debate with the way he presses his lips together. When his shoulders fall , Alec knows what he's going to say. 

"We can stay for a little while," he exhales and both children scream at the top of their lungs of joy as they run off towards the swings. 

Alec follows them with his gaze, and a little too late he notices that Magnus approached him. He is now very, very close — at least by Alec's standards. He swallows.  

"I'm Magnus," the other man says. 

"I know." Alec mentally face-palms himself for behaving like an idiot. The gratefulness he feels towards the darkness surrounding them is unmeasurable as he feels his cheeks heat up. 

For the first time, Magnus looks a little amused. "And you?"

"I'm Alec."

The warlock narrows his eyes and studies Alec's face for a few seconds. "Herondale?" he asks. 

His stomach drops. Does Magnus want him to be a Herondale? It wouldn't be the first time someone wanted him to be more like Jace. It's a good thing Alec is a poor liar, and he will never tell Jace that he for a second considered answering the question with a yes.  "Uhm, no," he mutters, "Lightwood, actually."

Magnus' eyebrows shoot up in surprise. His gaze wanders over to Rafe and Max and then back at Alec. "I see."

Another silence stretches between them, but this time it doesn't feel as awkward as the first one . Alec rubs the back of his neck, contemplating what to do next. Magnus doesn't seem too disappointed about Alec not being a Herondale. 

"Uhm, want to sit down?" he asks and waves towards a bench a bit further away. 

Once more, Alec gets a surprised look but Magnus then nods. "Sure."

They move together and the second they sit down, Alec kind of regrets his decision. The bench is narrow and their shoulders almost touch. 

Being gay, being out, being in a relationship with another man, is not something Alec ever thought he could have. Or something he even wanted, mostly because there's never really been anyone he had an interest in like that. It's simply too much at stake to risk it all: his family, his status, his work. Alec had come to peace with going through life alone a long time ago. 

Now, his heart threatens to hammer itself out of his chest. And that only because he's almost touching Magnus Bane. 

Get a grip of yourself. Stop being ridiculous. 

A loud, pearly laughter breaks through the silence and saves Alec from his self-inflicted misery.  

Alec smiles as he watches Rafe being chased around the playground by Max and they are both giggling. They fall and tumble into a pile of tangled limbs on the grass. Witnessing the boys having fun makes Alec feel all sorts of warm feelings. Rafe doesn't get to do this often — if ever. Most of the other shadowhunter children avoid him because of ridiculous reasons. Even if Alec's not visiting Idris often, especially not since Rafe came into his life, he's heard the gossip. How parents use Rafe to scare their children .That Rafe is dangerous because of his outbursts. 

Max doesn't know this. To him, Rafe is just another child to play with. Someone older, someone to look up to. It's freeing to watch the two of them interact. 

"They seem to have fun together," Alec points out. 

"Mhm," Magnus hums.  

"Papi!" Rafe shrieks, "look at us!"

Alec watches the boys going down the slide together: Rafe holding his arms tightly around Max's small waist, them tumbling around in the sand at the landing and Rafe quickly gets to his feet and yells with excitement, "Did you see it?"

Alec smiles and shakes his head fondly, "Oh, believe me, I did."

"Again!" Max commands and grabs around Rafe's wrist and he follows willingly. 

Alec leans back against the backrest and only then he notices that Magnus is eyeing him, and Alec's breath hitch. 

"Papi?" Magnus asks. 

"Yeah, well, uhm, I mean," Alec sputters and looks down on his hands, ignoring the way his cheeks are heating up again. "I'm not his father."

"I see."

Maybe Alec should be put off by Magnus' monosyllabic sentences if it hadn't been something in Magnus' tone that put Alec at ease immediately. Those two words are completely lacking the usual condescending pity, but it is also not too intruding. Rather the opposite. For once, Alec feels the need to share their story.  

"His parents died during an attack at their Institute. I was sent there as reinforcement. The short version is that, when all things had settled, Rafael decided he wanted to stay with me."

"And what was your wife's reaction when you brought him home with you?"

"My wife?" Alec echoes just as dumbly as earlier , and can't help but gawk at Magnus. "I—, uhm, I'm not married."

Magnus looks at him intently, but doesn't say anything. The intensity of the stare makes Alec immensely nervous and suddenly it's like he can't stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. "There's—, uhm, well," he clears his throat, "I'm not seeing anyone."

Raziel, could the ground open up and swallow him now? Why did he have to tell Magnus Bane of all people about his miserable life? 

Alec can't look at the other man, the embarrassment is consuming him. Why couldn't he be a little more laid back, like Izzy or Jace? Not a blabbering mess. 

The hint of amusement in Magnus' voice doesn't make Alec feel less embarrassed. "So you, a single, male, shadowhunter in his prime, decided to adopt a child?"

Alec wonders if this is a trick question. "I didn't plan for it," he says, more defensive than he intends to, "it kind of just happened."

Magnus raises his hands, placatingly. "It wasn't criticism. It's just, that kind of unselfishness is not common among the children of Raziel."

For the High Warlock of Brooklyn their encounter is of course not his first. The man has lived for centuries, and probably met a lot of shadowhunters. He's not wrong. "No, it's not. But it should be," Alec relents. 

"There's a story in there, I can tell," Magnus probes gently. 

" Yeah, a long one."

Magnus waves towards the children laughing and playing. "I've got time."

Alec dares to look up at the man's face, trying his best to decipher it. They don't know each other, why would he possibly be interested in this story? No one else is. "I don't think it would interest you."

"Try me," Magnu s says without hesitation, "I've been told I'm a good listener."

Alec worries his lower lip. He doesn't have a need to share his and Rafe's story, but there is also nothing incriminating about the story. There's nothing to lose here.

"Okay," he agrees. 

Magnus nods approvingly and with a smile adjusting himself on the bench. " Okay ."

Alec launches himself into telling the story of how he was sent to Buenos Aires on a mission to help the Institute there. Of the attack and the aftermath leading up to Rafe coming back with him. About the enormous amount of the legal paperwork that came with adopting an orphan. . 

Magnus is indeed a good listener. He doesn't intervene, he asks thoughtful questions and his expression tells everything Alec needs to know about certain elements of the story. Alec's parents and Magnus should presumably not be in the same room together. 

"And you?" Alec asks when all of his words are out. 

"Hm?" Magnus hums. 

Alec wets his lips. He has no intention of offending Magnus, but even if he doesn't know much about warlocks, he knows that they are not able to reproduce . "Max and you, what's your story?"

Magnus sucks in his bottom lip and looks at Max and Rafe with wistful eyes. "I think that's a story for another time. It's getting late."

Alec is torn between how the 'another time' sounds like a promise that this, whatever it is, has a possibility of happening again and the disappointment of this night is coming to an end. 

Magnus doesn't give Alec the chance to answer before he stands and brushes off his clothes before shouting at the youngest boy. "Max! Times up."

"But—" the boy whines immediately. 

"No buts, " Magnus interrupts, "I'm afraid. It's late."

The little boy sits down where he stands and crosses his arms. Alec decides to be a little helpful. "Rafe, we need to go too. I bet your auntie and uncle are back from patrol by now."

Both children pout at that, but Rafe comes over even if he's dragging his feet as he does. When being left behind, Max gets onto his feet and comes over, his head hanging low and Magnus greets him with open arms, lifting him up.

Max, despite his pout, snuggles into the embrace immediately. "Can we do this again?" he asks, and yawns. 

Magnus looks over at Alec, his eyes glitters with mischief. Alec's stomach swoops, he can't help it.  "It's not really my decision, blueberry," Magnus murmurs into the child's hair. 

The familiar words do nothing to help Alec keep himself from making a complete fool of himself.

Rafe pulls at Alec's arm. "Papi, can we, can we?"

It breaks Alec's heart a little to see the boy so eager and knowing he'll have to disappoint him. It's not like Alec can contact Magnus in any way. Though, he doesn't really have the heart to tell the truth either. "If a possibility opens up in the future, I see no problem with that."

Rafe beams at him and maybe the helplessness Alec is feeling is written all over his face because Magnus smiles reassuringly at him. "I'm sure we can work something out, little Nephilim," Magnus winks. 

Max's eyes have drooped, and his head is resting heavily against Magnus' shoulder. 

Magnus chuckles. "If someone had told me this morning that I would end up spending the night with shadowhunters —and enjoying it—, I would have banished them to Edom. Alas, here I am."

"What's Edom?" Rafe whispers, not so subtle. 

Alec nervously laughs a little too loud. "That's a story for another time."

Magnus snickers, and reaches out to ruffle the boy's hair. "Until next time, Rafael."

"Goodbye, Magnus. And…." Rafe looks at Max with a frown. "I think he's sleepy." 

"All the more reason to go," Alec says, firmer than intended. 

 Magnus waves his hands and a portal opens up. Rafe gasps and Alec stares. "It's beautiful," Rafe whispers in awe. Alec can only agree. 

"Good night," Magnus says as he sets one foot through the portal. He turns towards them again and grins, "and as for you—" Magnus looks at Alec, and sends him a wink, "call me."

He snaps his fingers before stepping through the portal completely. As it closes behind him, Alec realizes he has a card in his hand. It's glittery, and says High Warlock of Brooklyn on one side and when Alec turns it over there's a number on it. 

He had spent almost two hours with the High Warlock of Brooklyn and the man had left behind his phone number. 

And an Alec with a galloping heart filled with hope.