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The round door was just how Thorin remembered it. Well, almost just how he remembered it. There was no longer a mark etched into the door, meaning Bilbo had taken the time to repaint.
After traversing Middle Earth, Thorin now felt shy rapping his knuckles against the door. There was no fear of messing up the long dried paint. There was simply the fear of everything else.
✒✑ Six Months Ago ✒✑
Thorin felt ridiculously similar to a chastised schoolboy. This feeling was only made worse considering that he was standing across from his oldest nephew as the lad sat at Thorin’s desk in Thorin’s office.
Fíli rubbed his temples as he spoke, “To summarize, while you, Kíli, and I were unconscious and recovering from our injuries, Bilbo Baggins went back to the Shire. Yesterday, on the anniversary of the Battle of the Five Armies, you received a package from Mr. Baggins with a book and a note to have the book buried with you. Thus, you’ve learned that Bilbo Baggins has been assuming you died in the battle because of a miscommunication with members of the company and he, in fact, did not leave because he hated you like we all assumed.”
Thorin closed his eyes and nodded solemnly, “That about sums it up.”
Thorin opened his eyes when he heard a solid thunk . He glanced over to the other end of the office where he saw Fíli face down on his desk.
“Uncle, I haven’t had lunch yet.”
“He wrote a book for me, Fíli!”
“Why aren’t you bothering Dwalin about this? Don’t tell me he’s already sick of hearing you talk about this after only one day.”
Thorin shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Fíli stood up to be fully seen behind the giant piles of papers on his desk.
“ Uncle. ”
“You are my sisterson. I helped raise you!”
“Fine! I will set aside the matters of state that I’ve been working on since I woke up from my coma several months ago to deal with you receiving a book from a hobbit.”
“I made you my heir for a reason.”
“You just knew Kíli would’ve been a worse option.”
“Excuse you!” Kíli cut in, entering the room. “I resent that remark, accurate as it may be.”
Fíli stepped out from behind the desk.
“Kíli, my dearest brother-”
“What do you want?”
“Listen to Uncle talk about his Hobbit problem while I write up the new trade agreement with Dale.”
“Hmmm… I don’t know,” Kíli began with a mischievous grin. “This issue is so important that surely the King of Erebor should tend to it.”
“I’m only the temporary king. Uncle will take back the title any day now. Right?”
Fíli punctuated his ask by turning to Thorin for confirmation. Thorin, however, was reverently holding the leather bound gift from Bilbo.
“I suppose your reign as king begins today, Fí!”
Fíli groaned and slumped his head against his brother’s shoulder. Kíli patted his head in sympathy before turning towards his uncle.
“Why does that book have you so occupied?”
Thorin stared at the title of the book. Kíli craned his neck to see what his uncle was looking at. ‘There and Back Again’ was written in a delicate cursive on the front most page. Thorin turned the page. It read:
“Dearest Thorin,
I wrote this for you.
Love,
Bilbo"
Kíli let out a heavy breath and clicked his tongue, in a rare show of sorting through his thoughts before speaking.
“I get it.”
“Of course you get it. You’re also a disgusting romantic.” Fíli grumbled into Kíli’s shirt.
“It’s about our journey, from his perspective.” Thorin interrupted, seemingly unaware that he had. He flipped through more pages.
“He talks about the righteousness of our quest, and the ridiculousness of the trolls, and…”
Thorin trailed off before continuing.
“He portrays me as… noble. And heroic.”
Thorin absentmindedly caressed the pages. Lost in the words that danced across the pages of the hand bound book.
“And how much did Mister Boggins complain about?” Kíli asked with a wry grin.
“Only the beginning.” Thorin replied, with surprise coloring his words.
Kíli laughed, “Wow, Uncle! He must really love you.”
Thorin found himself speechless because his mind was completely devoid of thought.
His nephews regarded him with mild concern. Thorin had become frozen in place. Fíli waved a hand at his uncle but didn’t receive a response.
“Please tell me you didn’t break Uncle. I still need him, Kí!”
“It’s not my fault! I thought he knew. I mean, it was fairly obvious.”
“Of course… to everyone who isn’t Uncle!”
Said uncle couldn’t hear the conversation over the gears in his head finally beginning to turn. Then something clicked into place.
Bilbo is a writer. He’s good with words. He wrote the book because he loves Thorin. Bilbo loves Thorin. Even after a year and the incident with the Arkenstone, Bilbo Baggins loves him–
“No! Stop whatever you’re thinking.” Fíli cut in.
“Why?!”
“Because whatever you’re thinking is going to lead to you leaving me with an entire kingdom before I reach crowning age.”
“I was king at your age.”
“You were not-!”
Kíli placed his hands on Fíli’s and Thorin’s shoulders to stop the argument before it could begin.
“Fíli, don’t worry! Uncle’s not going to leave right now–”
Fíli lifted an unimpressed eyebrow at his brother. Thorin turned to exit the office.
“– because he hasn’t figured out what he’s going to say to Mister Boggins.”
That stopped Thorin dead in his tracks. He turned around to see his nephews wearing matching mischievous grins.
“You’re right,” Fíli subtly smirked. “He must think of something proper to say to Master Baggins. The hobbit wrote him a book!”
“Of course, dear brother.” Kíli began with a wicked twinkle in his eye. “Plus, he used his words to outwit the trolls that held us captive.”
“Don’t forget how he charmed the elves in Rivendell!”
“And the men of Lake Town!”
“Then, he danced around Smaug!”
Thorin murmured “According to the book, he also riddled against a pale, goblin-like creature.”
Kíli responded with a succinct “Hm, gross.”
Thorin nodded his agreement before retreating to his thoughts. His nephews were right. Bilbo had done so much for himself and his kin.
“He helped us regain our home.” The thought escaped from Thorin’s lips.
“He did.” Kíli replied. “And then you tried to throw him off of a balcony.”
Thorin winced. “I apologized.”
Fíli and Kíli glanced at their Uncle’s sad state and then glanced at each other. One silent conversation later, Fíli sighed.
“Don’t worry. We’ll help you, Uncle.”
Thorin lifted his head and gave a loving smile to his two nephews.
Fíli patted the desk, “As soon as you help me finish–”
But Thorin began moving the piles of papers off the desk before Fíli could finish speaking. Fíli sighed and made a mental note to apologize to Bard for the delay. Kíli, in much better spirits, placed a parchment and an inkwell on the desk in front of Thorin.
Three hours later, the piece of parchment contained half-started sentences that never found their end before being crossed out. The dwarves in the room had survived a war but succumbed to the agony of Thorin trying to express his feelings.
Fíli lifted his head.
“How do you write hundreds of decrees and speeches in a day, but you fail to write one letter to Mister Baggins?”
“This is actually important.” Thorin grumbled.
Fíli’s eyes darted to glare at Kíli, as if this was all somehow his brother’s fault. Kíli shrugged helplessly at the accusation.
“Mister Boggins would have known what to say–”
The chair legs scraped across the stone floor as Thorin slammed his hands on the desk and stood up. Thorin’s eyes glinted with what Fíli would later describe as ‘imbecilic determination’.
“I’ll just have to go to the Shire!” Thorin declared while he strode towards the door.
Fíli and Kíli shared a panicked look and ran after their uncle.
“Uncle, you can’t leave me with all of this work!”
“Are you sure you want to do this? You don’t know what you’re going to say to him!” Kíli pleaded.
“I don’t,” Thorin replied. “But waiting around here isn’t going to change that. I have to let him know I’m alive.”
Thorin swung open the door to reveal Tauriel. The elf was standing with a fist raised to knock on the door and a pack held in her other hand. She flinched at the abrupt opening before composing herself.
“This pack has all of the provisions you will need to reach the West.”
Her cheeks pinked before she continued speaking.
“There is also lembas bread. I know it is of elvish make, but it will reduce the amount you need to hunt which will save you hours of your journey…”
Her sentence trailed off as Thorin stared at the pack in her hands. He gingerly took the pack and then shook her hand. In surprise, Tauriel stood up straighter.
“Thank you, Tauriel. I’m glad Kíli’s One is a woman of good sense.”
Tauriel beamed at the compliment. Fíli massaged his temple.
“I can’t believe you packed for him.”
Taureil shrugged. “This was the inevitable outcome.”
“Inevitable! And yet he still hasn’t figured out what to say to the hobbit.”
“It’s a six month journey,” Thorin proclaimed. “Surely, I will know what to say by the end!”
✒✑ Six Months Later ✒✑
Thorin stood at Bag End with the weight of six months of sentences and speeches on his tongue. He knocked. Then he waited. Then he dreaded about what he would do if Bilbo wasn’t home.
Thorin had waited so long to speak to Bilbo that he was sure the words would burst out of his mouth soon. He heard a rush of footsteps and the door burst open.
Bilbo stood stock still with wide eyes and mouth hanging open. His rosy cheeks instantly paled as if he had seen a ghost.
Then all of the words Thorin had planned instantly left him, as if they weighed nothing more than the sheets of paper he prepared them on.
Thorin’s voice was gravelly with misuse as he spoke, “I’m alive.”
Bilbo’s face hadn’t moved at all, it was as if the hobbit had suddenly turned into a statue.
The more the silence stretched between them, the more convinced Thorin grew that maybe Bilbo didn’t want to see him. Maybe Bilbo only remembered Thorin fondly because he thought Thorin had died.
“Well, then,” Thorin rambled as he turned to walk away. “Now that I’ve informed you that I’m alive, I shall return to Erebor to continue my duties. Fíli– ”
A hand grabbed his arm and Thorin froze. The hand trembled.
“Just where do you think you’re going?”
“...to Erebor?”
“Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, you look at me this instant! ”
Thorin whipped around before he could even think. Bilbo’s cheeks were no longer rosy, but bright red with fury.
“You’re alive?!”
“I’m alive.”
Bilbo’s lips flapped in a desperate attempt to make words.
“Why are you here?”
“You thought I was dead.”
“I - yes- but… You could’ve sent a letter!”
Thorin was entirely aware of the truth of that statement. He’d been aware of that for the entire six months of his trip.
“But… you wrote me a book.”
The angry red of Bilbo’s cheeks turned to an embarrassed pink. Thorin grabbed the book out of his pack and continued.
“I had many things I wanted to say to you but I can’t find the right way to say them.”
Bilbo gestured wildly with his hands.
“So you traveled across the world?”
Thorin paused. His thumb caressed the book cover.
“I don’t know why you’re surprised. It’s not like I haven’t done it before.”
“You- you traveled across the world so you could go home.”
This is why Thorin fell in love with Bilbo. The hobbit always knew exactly what to say, always knew exactly what Thorin meant.
“Yes. Exactly.”
Bilbo went quiet once more. But this silence wasn’t from shock, but contemplation. Bilbo’s fingers clenched and flexed as he gathered his thoughts.
“Thorin… There's no gold here. Nor is there a crown. There’s a fireplace, books, doilies, and an armchair.”
“Just one?”
“More than one!” Bilbo huffed, letting the Baggins in him take over.
“Will you be there?”
Bilbo let out a short laugh, “Ha! Of course, I’ll be there! It’s my house.”
Thorin smiled and the words came easily.
“Then it’s worth far more than any treasure.”
The corners of Bilbo’s mouth lifted towards the sky, pulling his lips into a smile.
“Well, you’ve turned into quite the charmer during our seasons apart.”
A laugh rumbled deep in Thorin’s chest.
“Give me more time and surely you’ll inspire me again.”
Bilbo turned his head away in a foolish attempt to distance himself from the compliment.
“Would… would you like to come inside? There’s an armchair for you.”
Thorin nodded and Bilbo opened the round door for him. The two clasped hands as the door gently shut behind them.
✒✑ Two Weeks Later ✒✑
A letter was dropped on Fíli's desk. The envelope had Thorin’s handwriting and was from Bilbo Baggins’ address. A quick slice of his blade opened the envelope and revealed its contents.
Kíli poked his head inside the office to see Fíli reading the letter.
“Is it from Uncle? Did he figure out what to say?”
Fíli folded the letter and placed it on the desk. He then promptly slammed his head on the letter.
“He found the most elegant way to tell me to start planning my coronation.”