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Bilbo never claimed to be a barrister, however he was a writer. Therefore, he knew that he had followed his promise to the letter. He definitely was not avoiding the issue. Don’t be absurd. Bilbo had not been lying when he told Thorin that he needed time to figure out who he was–
… Good writers give context. Once more, from the top!
After the Battle of the Five Armies, Thorin was nearly dead. Nearly, being the key word. The dwarven king awakened despite his many injuries. For goodness sakes, Bilbo had been knocked out for half of the battle from one blow to the head but not Thorin, no. Thorin felt just fine walking after being impaled numerous times.
Ridiculous dwarf.
Said ridiculous dwarf spoke apologies faster than Bilbo could follow, but their sincerity shined through the stutters and desperate half sentences. Bilbo easily forgave Thorin, that was not the issue. No, despite everything, the issue came when Thorin asked Bilbo to stay in Erebor.
The first thought that popped into Bilbo’s mind was that he didn’t belong in Erebor, but in the Shire. That was where all hobbits belonged. So Bilbo did his best to neither agree nor decline, being the polite fellow that he was. He told Thorin that he needed some time to figure out who he was. Which wasn’t a lie!
Gandalf had warned him, before the journey started, if he returned home at all he wouldn’t be the same. Quite rude of the wizard to be so right.
Bilbo muttered these complaints under his breath as he wiped the layer of dust off of his countertop at Bag End. He hadn’t been able to get proper groceries yet, but he would. Forgive his lack of preparedness, he had only been a few days since he arrived in the Shire.
Which is all to explain why Bilbo was so frazzled when Tauriel knocked on his round door. The poor hobbit craned his neck to meet the elf’s eyes, crickled from adorning a sheepish smile.
“Hello, Mister Baggins.” She spoke with a slight nervous chuckle. “Is now an alright time?”
It was a horrible time. But then Bilbo spotted a smudge of dirt on her pale cheek and had a shocking realization that this was the first time he ever saw an elf be even slightly disheveled.
“It’s a perfectly fine time Captain Tauriel, please come in.”
Bilbo hadn’t noticed how tense Tauriel’s shoulders were until they sagged in relief. The poor girl practically bent in half to duck under the doorway as she entered his house. With the precision of an archer, she wiped her boots on the hobbit sized welcome mat without a speck of dirt hitting the floor.
“Please forgive me, Captain Tauriel, my home isn’t in the best state to host in.”
Which was a sadly accurate assessment of Bag End. The hobbit hole used to be warm and filled but looked cavernous without all of the furniture that used to populate it. Nevertheless, Bilbo led Tauriel to his one remaining armchair, one too big to easily carry out the door.
Tauriel gracefully sat but dropped her pack on the floor.
“Please do not apologize; I came without notice. And please call me Tauriel! I have not been a captain for some time.”
Tauriel fiddled with the ends of her red hair. Filled with the pressing need to dispel the awkwardness, Bilbo asked, “Tea?”
“Please.”
Bilbo pattered over to his cupboard to only be disappointed by what he found. His mugs were not returned in the state he left them before the journey. He still put the kettle on.
“Be careful of the chip in the rim. Sorry, my tea cups weren’t always in shambles.”
Tauriel smiled, “It will still hold tea, so the cup must not be too broken.”
“Well, I suppose that’s fair.”
Once the tea was properly steeped, Bilbo handed Tauriel her cup. The two sat in a tentative silence that Tauriel eventually broke.
“Your home is lovely! It is very… spacious.”
Bilbo snorted, “I assure you, there used to be more here. Rather unfortunately, it’s been a year since anyone saw me in my home. Most believed I had died so they began auctioning my things.”
Tauriel’s eyes widened in outrage.
“After only one year?!”
Bilbo shrugged, “Those are the laws. I had quite a troublesome time proving my identity.”
Tauriel shook her head in disbelief.
“Perhaps it is my elvish nature but I find your acceptance of life being so temporary quite shocking.”
“Well, we can’t all live forever like elves.”
“No.” Tauriel frowned. “I suppose not.”
Bilbo tapped his own mug disrupting the silence that followed Tauriel’s lament. Then the question that had danced on the tip of his tongue since her arrival slipped past his lips.
“So… what brings you to the Shire? Not that I don’t love the company, but I imagine it’s a little far from where you normally travel.”
Despite the abruptness of the question, Tauriel smiled.
“To be quite honest, I find myself looking for the familiar these days. So I decided to visit a friend.”
Well, if that was how Tauriel viewed their relationship, Bilbo had no objections.
“Your friend welcomes you with open arms but a lack of bedding.”
Tauriel laughed, “Ah, yes. My poor friend had his furniture stolen from him! Shall we retrieve it?”
Bilbo spotted the mischievous twinkle in her eye. He knew there were many ways this next chapter could go. Hobbits would find her quite odd, even threatening with her weapons and leathers. He pictured the faces of all of the hobbits as she stood behind him as they reclaimed his belongings.
“What’s the most intimidating piece of clothing you have?”
⟸⦽⟹
When one traveled through the Shire’s markets, it was expected to bump into your neighbors in a rather literal sense. All of Bilbo’s previous experiences at the market involved him brushing shoulders with other hobbits, which made this shopping trip rather unique. Apparently, when one traveled with an elf wearing armor, hobbits tended to keep a wide berth.
The market crowds ebbed together like waves around Bilbo and Tauriel as the elf pulled a wooden cart behind her. The crowd always seemed to make room for them. Bilbo overheard their many whispers. “ Oh dear, is that an elf?” “How improper!” “I heard he used her to ruff up poor-” “- Mad Baggins!”
“Mad Baggins?” Bilbo muttered under his breath.
“I take it that is not a name you are used to hearing.”
Right. Elf ears.
Tauriel looked at Bilbo as she selected apples from the basket. Bilbo placed money in front of the stunned seller. Tauriel placed their new haul on top of the dining chairs and table they liberated from the Sackville-Bagginses. The look on Lobelia’s face had been well worth it.
“Not quite. I used to be seen more favorably, actually. A gentleman such as myself was considered quite the eligible bachelor!”
Tauriel giggled at his statement.
“Has my company ruined your sterling reputation?”
“Oh, no! Perish the thought. I’m quite afraid my running off to have an adventure did that.”
“Do hobbits not travel?” Tauriel asked with a curious pout as she gathered eggs into a basket. Bilbo set down more money.
“Never farther than Bree.”
Tauriel hummed, considering Bilbo’s words. Bilbo crossed the last item off the shopping list. The tight wall of hobbits that surrounded them shifted once more to make room for the two as they walked back towards Bag End.
Bilbo looked up to Tauriel.
“Pardon me if this is sudden, but why did you come here? Surely Greenwood is more familiar than the other side of the world.”
Tauriel continued to pull the cart behind her, showing no response to the question other than a slight downturn of her lips.
The former Captain of the Guard spoke in a practiced whisper, too quiet for the crowd to hear.
“I was banished.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Do not be.” Tauriel spoke with a small smile. “Even if I had been able to return to the Greenwood, it would not have been the same.”
The words sounded like a confession despite the lack of sin. The pair turned a corner before she spoke again.
“I can no longer unsee the pride of my people. I was not completely ignorant of it before but I admit, I was blinded to the insults not directed at myself.”
“Thranduil didn’t exactly seem the friendliest.”
“Catch that, did you?” Tauriel replied with a teasing smirk. Bilbo laughed.
“It’d be rather difficult to miss.”
“He is not the only elf that believes in their own superiority. I fear I would be among my people and somehow be completely alone.”
Her words barely registered over the din of the gossiping crowd of hobbits that seemed to follow while maintaining distance. Bilbo found himself somehow feeling suffocated in the open air.
“I understand.” He confessed. Tauriel gave a rueful smile.
⟸⦽⟹
While apple tarts fixed most problems, they did not manage to quash the subject neither wanted to speak about. The warmth of the dish did, however, pair well with the cool breeze of the evening. He found himself sitting in a companionable silence with Tauriel on the bench in his front yard, watching the sun set.
Tauriel took a sip of her tea and regarded his yard. She took a small breath.
“Did you plant something recently?”
Bilbo followed her sightline to a small mound of freshly turned dirt a few yards away from the bench.
“Yes, an acorn I picked up on my travels.”
Tauriel lifted an eyebrow and gave him a knowing look.
“You gardened before purchasing any groceries?”
Bilbo felt his cheeks redden.
“Well, it seemed wise at the time.”
“That would please a certain king to hear.”
Bilbo set down his pastry and picked up his tea cup. He took a long and deliberate sip before setting the cup back on its saucer.
“So, we’re doing this?”
“We can no longer avoid it. We are not children.”
“You’re younger than me.”
“I have lived longer than you have been able to walk.”
“Elves!”
Tauriel chuckled, “Spoken like a friend of dwarves.”
“You would know. As someone who is a bit more than a friend of dwarves.”
A pink painted Tauriel’s cheeks. Bilbo felt a pulse of pride at being able to get under her skin.
“I am unused to such attention.”
“Really? From what I heard, Thranduil’s boy was quite taken with you.”
Bilbo took a victorious sip–
“I am of the belief that he simply favors red hair.”
– which he promptly spat out. Tauriel gave an undignified snort of laughter and Bilbo wiped himself with a handkerchief.
“Truly?!” He asked.
“Truly.” She confirmed with a nod.
“That might be the funniest bit of information I’ve ever heard. Were you never interested in him?”
“I viewed our relationship to be that of friends and siblings. Besides, in his father’s eyes a lowly Silvan elf was never meant to marry a prince.”
Bilbo took a thoughtful pause before he spoke.
“But there’s a prince that loves her anyway.”
Tears welled up in Tauriel’s eyes and Bilbo, as a gentleman, did his duty of pretending not to see them.
“Yes. I know there will be dwarves that despise the elves of Greenwood for what they have done and how they act. But Kíli never saw a Greenwood elf or a Silvan elf…”
Emotion clung to her throat.
“He saw Tauriel.” Bilbo finished.
Tauriel nodded, subtly wiping her eyes with her sleeve. Sincerity coated Bilbo’s tongue as he spoke further.
“It’s a tad overwhelming, isn’t it? For someone to truly see you.”
Tauriel finally looked Bilbo in the eye. She saw past all of the jokes and bluster. She saw the truth they both shared.
“It is frightening. For someone to see you as more than just a hobbit.” She whispered.
“Or an elf.” He continued.
“Or a bachelor with a nice home and furniture.”
“Or a captain of the guard.”
They both let the sentiment trail off. Nibbling at their pastries, the two were unsure where to continue as day turned to night. Tauriel, ever brave, decided to speak regardless.
“He looked at me and truly saw me and somehow saw starlight .”
Tauriel had been right to come to the Shire. Who else would know this feeling better than Bilbo?
In the quiet that followed Bilbo remembered the looks that he and Thorin shared. Thorin would laugh when Bilbo spoke a witty remark and beam when Bilbo had taken interest in dwarvish culture. The king of dwarves would be in awe whenever Bilbo acted the part of a burglar and did the seemingly impossible.
Even worse, there were quiet moments by the campfire where Bilbo would whisper stories of his youth and recount the plots of his favorite novels. Thorin loved all of him, the adventurous Took side and the bookish Baggins side.
The hobbit offered his hand to her, which she silently took. Bilbo had no words of reassurance for Tauriel, just an admission of his own understanding.
“He sees all of the parts of myself that others have found dreadful… that I find dreadful… and he loves them wholeheartedly. I can’t help but wonder if he sees something I don’t. How can he know me better than I know myself?”
Tauriel nodded and gave a slightly embittered laugh.
“It seems unbelievable.”
“It does,” Bilbo agreed. Tauriel regarded Bilbo once more.
“You are here because it terrifies you too.” She did not ask a question, merely stated the obvious. Bilbo could not lie to a friend so he just nodded.
The hobbit tapped the handle of his tea cup.
“I was so sure that I would be the same.” Bilbo began. “I was so sure that nothing could change me. I’m not sure if the journey changed me or just revealed parts of myself that were hidden.”
Bilbo traced the rim of his cup.
“But the home I used to treasure feels empty. My neighbors see me as a stranger.”
Bilbo’s finger stopped on the chip in the rim.
The hobbit finished his tea and picked up his apple tart to excuse his lack of words.
“He spoke of you often,” Tauriel said. “So much so that it was all I heard him speak about whenever I was close. His words have not lost their reverence.”
“I can’t imagine Kíli’s words losing their reverence for you either.”
“They haven’t.” Tauriel confirmed.
“Yet you’re here.”
“He knows why,” Tauriel said with confidence. “Despite his boyish nature, he has a certain wisdom when it comes to people’s hearts.”
“He’s a good lad.” Bilbo nodded. Tauriel smiled at hearing her love complimented.
“You love him as much as he loves you.” Bilbo spoke at the same time he had the thought.
Tauriel nodded.
“I do. I feel different when I am with Kíli. He makes me feel larger, as if I was always supposed to take up space in whatever room I am in. It is new. But I do not feel new.”
Tauriel took the kettle that sat between them on the bench and refilled Bilbo’s cup. He stared at the cup for a moment before facing Tauriel.
“The cup still holds tea, despite the cracks.”
Tauriel nodded.
“Ever the writer. Are you still frightened?” She asked. Perhaps she needed to know more, Bilbo thought. Maybe she needed guidance, too.
“Yes,” Bilbo spoke honestly. “I’m terrified.”
Bilbo thought back to Thorin, with his piercing eyes and strong stature. He then thought of Thorin’s smile.
“During the whole quest, I was completely and utterly terrified. But I looked into Thorin’s eyes and I wanted to keep going, despite being afraid. I would hear his voice and want to follow. He made it seem like despite the challenges, everything would be well.”
Bilbo took a calming breath.
“Even in the throws of the dragon sickness, Thorin looked at me like I was his greatest treasure.”
Tauriel twirled a strand of her hair.
“I heard about the ramparts. Is that why you left?”
“No,” Bilbo sighed. “That would’ve made more sense. You’ve noticed how the Shire is. There are these expectations and decorum. I’ve broken nearly all of those and there was this voice in my head that told me that I had to come back. That I had to be who I was again.”
Bilbo sighed.
“Who am I if I’m not here?”
“Have you found peace?”
Bilbo took a moment to steep in Tauriel’s question. The hobbit set his tea aside.
“Not a damn bit. And neither will you. Not while we’re both here instead of where we’re meant to be.”
Bilbo made eye contact with Tauriel before continuing.
“Kíli is right to look at you and see starlight. That isn’t a mistake and the other dwarves will see it too. Even if your blasted elves never do!”
Tauriel gave Bilbo a watery smile.
“You are a treasure as well, my friend, even if your former home does not know it.”
Bilbo used the remaining corner of his handkerchief to dab his eyes. Tauriel was kind enough to not point out how much her statement affected him.
Bilbo cleared his throat.
“I can be packed by tomorrow morning.”
“That is wonderful!” Tauriel smiled. “But what about Bag End?”
Bilbo hopped off of the bench and stared at his childhood home. He soaked in the memories of playing in the yard with his mother and sitting in an armchair with his father reading books. He remembered how the hobbit hole looked during every season, the warmth of his fireplace, and the smells that permeated his kitchen. He did not love this place less but it would not hurt him to leave it.
“Well I’ll be damned if I allow Lobelia to get her grubby little hands on it!”
⟸⦽⟹
The following week granted the hobbits of the Shire a most peculiar sight. Bilbo Baggins, now known as Mad Baggins, was seen riding the shoulders of an elf with red hair running towards the river. The two later came back pulling two carts filled with Drogo’s and Primula’s belongings as their son Frodo rode his uncle’s shoulders.
The family of three moved into Bag End which Lobelia would have discussed with Bilbo had it not been for the elf looking at Lobelia and menacing her.
The following days saw many of Bilbo’s items being hauled out of town with the same cart he used to reclaim them. Hobbits returning from Bree said they saw the odd pair hitch the cart to a horse and gallop towards the east, sharing a saddle.
⟸⦽⟹
A good writer knows how to end a story.
Tauriel and Bilbo arrived in Erebor in much shorter time than the quest had originally taken, due to the lady’s expertise. Their arrival was greeted by the entire company waiting at the gates, royalty included.
Tauriel and Kíli ran to each other, leaving Bilbo to hold the reins of their horse. The two young lovers embraced without caring who was watching. Kíli looked at Tauriel like she hung the stars and she looked right back as if life sprang from his fingertips. Their love was blatant and unapologetic for all to see.
Bilbo felt Thorin approach before he saw the dwarf moving. He looked like a king, wearing the appropriate robes with an understated crown. Despite being unsure of where they stood with each other, Thorin looked at Bilbo as if the hobbit were the moon shining through the darkness.
Thorin swayed as if he was unsure if he was allowed to move closer. So Bilbo answered his unspoken question.
“I’m home, dearest.”
Bilbo saw the sun shine through the clouds when Thorin smiled.
It might be cliche, or it might just be tried and true, but this is how the story ends…
They all lived happily ever after!