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Sometimes Izuku can't help but want for more. Call him ungrateful (you wouldn't be the first), but he thinks it's fair to wish for friends who act like they actually want to be around him, even if he knows that he should really just take what he's given. Even if Uraraka, Asui, Iida and Todoroki don't seem to truly like him all that much, being tolerated by them is still a huge step up from being completely friendless in middle-school.
Still, it's hard for Izuku not to wish for better when he sees Kacchan and his friends huddled together in the common room, hanging out and at ease with each other in a way that him and his own supposed friends could never even dream of achieving.
All of Kacchan's friends seem to be so genuinely nice as well, to the point where Izuku finds himself slightly frightened by the warmth they exude- honestly, if it weren't for his nerves Izuku probably would've already taken the blond up on one of his invites to join their study-sessions.
That's another thing. Izuku's pretty sure Kacchan doesn't like Iida and the others. Multiple times he thinks he's seen his childhood friend glaring at his group out of the corner of his eye, and most of his invitations to hang out seem to coincide with when the self-proclaimed 'Dekusquad' have plans (Izuku hates the name, and he hates that they refuse to stop calling him Deku outside of training no matter how many times he asks).
Since the war, Kacchan is inarguably Izuku's closest friend, apparently much to his other friends chagrin. They've never outright said anything against him, but the way they glance at each other whenever Izuku mentions him says it all.
Apparently, today is the day they finally speak up.
Izuku is rambling intently as he walks towards the dorms with Katsuki's arm slung over his shoulders when his friends stalk up to him, eyes cold and faces set with determination.
Immediately he shuts up, intently ignoring the concerned glance Katsuki flashes at him. He doesn't need Iida berating him for his 'irritating squawking' in front of the one friend who can tolerate it.
Uraraka takes his silence as an invitation to speak up, blatantly looking Katsuki up and down and turning her nose up in a decidedly patronising manner before she starts, "Deku, we've been thinking and we've come to the conclusion that you need to stop talking to Bakugo.".
Izuku's pretty sure his jaw actually hits the floor when he processes what she's just said. He's waiting for the group to start laughing and announce that they're joking, but it just doesn't come.
Katsuki's outright glaring at them, and he looks about two seconds from starting to spew insults so creative that they'd have even the most hardened criminals crying, so Izuku speaks up before the blond can earn himself a week's worth of house arrest.
"Guys, I don't know if you're trying to be funny, but I'm not going to do that. I've known Kacchan my entire life, and I enjoy spending time with him. You have no right to stop me from being friends with him.".
It's Iida who steps up in response to Izuku, sneering down his nose as he speaks, "Yes well, we've decided as your friends that you shouldn't hang around with someone like him.".
"You've seen the people he calls his friends too, surely you don't want to be around such bad influences Deku?", Todoroki interjects.
Izuku doesn't even try to reign in his emotions as he leaps to his best friend's defense. Despite his usually reserved composure he's genuinely seeing red as he turns on the group of people he can't believe he ever considered friends.
"How dare you speak about Kacchan and his friends like that. I put up with you guys telling me to shut up because I'm talking too much, and pointing out how much weight I've put on recently, and reminding me just how annoying I am because I get that. That's valid. I've even stopped asking you guys to stop calling me Deku because whatever, it's just a nickname and it doesn't really matter if I hate it. But how dare you talk shit about Kacchan and his friends. They've never done anything to hurt you and from what I've seen they're all wonderful people.".
Frustrated tears are gathering in his eyes, threatening to spill over as he turns away from the group. He doesn't even want to see the look on their faces at the explosion that doesn't fit their carefully crafted picture of him.
"Let's go Kacchan, I can't be here right now.".
Katsuki goes with him without a word, silently drawing Izuku closer with the arm that never left his shoulders, rubbing soothing circles on his bicep as they walk towards the dorms.
It's clear that Katsuki himself is angry, but Izuku isn't calm enough either to appease him yet, so he lets the silence simmering between them persist until they make it to the blond's room.
He's still shaking with the weight of his anger as Izuku turns to Katsuki, "I'm so sorry Kacchan, you didn't- you and your friends don't deserve to be spoken about like that. They were way out of line, I'm sorry.".
His vision is blurring as he finally processes the full situation. He's been easily able to excuse the way the group treat him, but their unwarranted attacks on Katsuki and his friends crossed a line.
How could he have even considered people like that his friends?
He's such a terrible person for letting them say that stuff.
Why didn't he walk away when he saw them?
He knows better than to let them talk to him when he's with Kacchan.
Why didn't he stop them?
Why can't he breathe?
His claws at his chest, hands twisting painfully in the material of his shirt in an attempt to alleviate the weight suddenly crushing his lungs.
His throat is constricting painfully as the tears that have been long threatening to fall finally cascade down his cheeks.
A gentle hand in his hair reminds Izuku that Katsuki's still there. This isn't the first panic attack the blond has witnessed and it probably won't be the last, but Izuku still curls into himself in shame. No matter how hard his therapist tries he can't shake the discomfort that comes with people seeing him break down when he's survived based on the idea of having to keep up a strong front for so long.
"Izuku, breathe. Here, put your hand on my chest and copy my rhythm, okay?", the way that Katsuki knows exactly what to do, knows exactly how to help, just makes Izuku's tears fall faster. He doesn't want to be a burden on his only remaining friend.
It takes a while, but his breathing is settling, and a resigned sigh finally brings him back to earth. Of course Katsuki's tired of him, who wouldn't be.
"I'm not tired of you Izuku. I could never get tired of you and you know that, even if you won't accept it. I just hate hearing you talk about yourself that way, especially when it's clear that you actually believe it. You aren't a burden.".
Oh. He'd been muttering. "Sorry Kacchan.".
Katsuki just rolls his eyes before taking Izuku's hand in his, "Stop apologising. The others having shitty personalities has nothing to do with you, the only people I'm mad at is them. I know it's my fault that you feel like you have to put up with them, but you deserve better.".
Izuku wants to deny Katsuki's guilt but he knows it's partially true, even if he isn't the sole culprit. He also knows that he accepted Katsuki's apology long ago and they're far past the point of being held up on the past, so he leaves it alone, simply nodding as he shifts so that he's practically curled up in Katsuki's lap.
He hopes that the dim lighting in the room is enough to hide his blush at the intimate position. Even if Katsuki says he won't leave, the last thing Izuku needs right now is to lose his last remaining friend because of a stupid crush.
A series of rapid knocks on the door draw Izuku out of his thoughts, and he doesn't even have the chance to turn to Katsuki in confusion before the door is swinging open and the blond's friends are barreling in, voices overlapping chaotically as they all talk at once.
"Guess who we just saw looking pissed off as fuck in the common room?!".
It's Mina's voice that comes through the strongest, and Izuku gets the feeling that he knows exactly who she's talking about. They all stop talking at once, and he knows its because they've finally noticed that he's there.
Despite the fact that he's still trembling he attempts to pull away from Katsuki, moving to stand up. Either Katsuki doesn't get the message or is being purposely obtuse (most likely the second option), but he refuses to loosen his grip, so in the end Izuku remains slumped in his arms.
"Oh my god! Mido, are you okay?!".
This time it's Kirishima who speaks up, tone genuinely concerned as he looks at Midoriya with wide eyes. A quick glance around reveals that the whole group is looking at him with similar expressions.
Izuku takes a deep breath in order to force back the sob he can feel trying to escape at their worry. He doesn't deserve that from them, not when he let the people he used to call friends talk about them like they had.
He opens his mouth to assure them that he's fine, but Katsuki beats him to it, "His shitty so-called 'friends' were talking shit about us and Izuku here thinks that it's his fault.".
"What?! We know that they don't like us, but you've never been anything but nice to us! Why would we hold their horrible attitudes against you?", Kaminari's affronted look at the idea of Izuku taking accountability for the others behaviour would be funny if Izuku weren't focused on the first part of his statement.
He steels himself before angling himself in Katsuki's arms so that he can see the whole group clearly, he knows he needs to ask but he scared of what might be revealed, "...What do you mean you know they don't like you?".
A quick glance is shared between the friends before Sero steps forward, "Well... they haven't exactly been the nicest to us. They don't exactly hide their distaste for, in their own words, 'delinquents like us'.". He makes air quotes around the phrase and tries to laugh it off, but it's clear that none of them appreciate the label.
"I'm so sorry! From what I've seen you guys are amazing people, I didn't know that they were treating other people like that too. You guys really don't deserve that.", Izuku isn't sure what he expected but it definitely wasn't to be practically ripped out of Katsuki's arms and into a group hug with the others.
When he's finally released, Kirishima immediately grabs him by the shoulders, turning him to look into his eyes earnestly, "Dude...you do know that you don't deserve to be treated like that either, right?".
"He's right 'Zuku, I wanted to ask about some of the stuff you said earlier too, the others can leave if you want though.", Katsuki's trying to be considerate, and Izuku is touched, but the revelation that the 'Dekusquad' has been treating the others like shit has left him feeling like he owes them an explanation for why he never stood up for them. It doesn't matter that they've already told him that they don't blame him.
"You guys can stay- the others were horrible to you and I never stopped them, I owe you an explanation at least.".
The group doesn't seem happy with his reply, but they sit where they are anyways, offering him small, if not strained, smiles of support.
Katsuki seems to sense that Izuku doesn't know where to start, so he takes the lead, "What did you mean when you said that you put up with their treatment of you because it's 'valid'? How exactly do they treat you anyways?".
Izuku rubs over his eyes with his sleeves, wiping away the tear tracks he knows are there despite knowing that he'll likely be crying again in no time before replying, "It's not really that important- I just meant that them talking badly about you guys is way worse because you guys haven't done anything wrong. I mean, yeah I don't really appreciate them cutting me off all the time or yelling at me about my mumbling, but I know that I'm kind of annoying so it's understandable y'know,", he shrugs, ignoring the angry huff from behind his shoulder, "And they just want me to be the best hero possible, that's why they try to control what I eat and who I talk to and where I go and they still call me Deku outside of training even though I've told them I don't really like it but that's just a force of habit, it's hard to stop-".
He realises that he's gone off on a tangent when Katsuki's arm tightens around his waist. He cuts himself off, and at least he can blame his blush on his embarrassment.
"Ah- sorry- I didn't mean to say all that, but you get it right, like, the way they treated me at least has a reason, but you guys did nothing to warrant it, I really didn't know or I would've confronted them.".
Suddenly, the others in the room are all talking at once, just as they had been when they first burst into the room,
"EXCUSE ME??? YOUR MUTTERING IS SO CUTE HOW DARE THEY!".
"Yeah and they definitely have no right to control your entire life no matter how hard they try to justify it!!".
"Annoying definitely isn't a word I would use to describe you so they're full of shit.".
"Real friends would stop doing something as soon as you said you didn't like it, what the fuck.".
"If I could stop calling you Deku when I was literally the one who came up with the name they have no excuse.".
Katsuki's response is the last to be uttered, and it's the one that has Izuku truly stopping to consider their outcries. If all of them feel that way, if none of them think Izuku deserved how he was treated, maybe they're right?
"I can see you considering what we're saying, and think about it like this,", Katsuki raps his knuckles against the side of Izuku head, "If they did what they did to you to any of us, would you say it's understandable?".
"Well, no but-"
"Well, that's it then. They're shitty friends and you deserve better, full fucking stop.".
Katsuki says it with so much conviction that Izuku can't help but believe him.
"Lucky for you, you have us now! We never realised just how badly they were treating you or we would've stolen you away faster!", Izuku just laughs at Mina's exclamation, teary-eyed at the ease with which she welcomes him into their group.
"I- thank you. You guys really are amazing.".
For the second time that night Izuku is crushed into a group hug, only this time his new friends don't bother dragging him off of Katsuki's lap before jumping on top of him. It hits him mid-laugh how in just half an hour these people have managed to make him feel more comfortable and welcomed than the people he used to hang out with did in two years.
At some point someone hijacks Katsuki's laptop, and they end up watching some stupid comedy that Kaminari insists is perfect to lift Izuku's spirits. It works up until the point where everyone is filing out of Katsuki's room, hugs given liberally before they make their exit.
"Kacchan?", Izuku isn't even sure that the blond hears him at first with how quietly he speaks, but he continues when Katsuki hums in response, "Um- sorry if this is too much to ask, you've already done so much for me today, but... I don't really want to be alone right now...".
"You can stay the night nerd, was gonna ask you anyway.", Izuku wants to believe that the red tint to Katsuki's cheeks is more than a figment of his imagination, but he isn't going to push his luck.
That is until Katsuki sits on the edge of his bed, face scarily blank as he pats the spot next to him. Izuku goes easily, settling but tense as he waits for the other to speak.
"You know, I always hated seeing them treat you like shit, but I never realised just how bad it was. I should've tried harder to bring you into my group of idiots.", Katsuki simply shushes him when Izuku goes to object, so he sits back, only slightly pouting, "But that's not what I'm trying to say- look, I care about you Izuku, more than I care about any of the others, even if I haven't always shown you that.".
"I- What- Kacchan what are you saying?".
"I'm saying that I like you Izuku, as more than a friend. And I know this is shit timing, but seeing you say all that shit earlier, and actually believe it- I just couldn't not tell you. You deserve better than how I treated you in the past, and I want to show you that. I want to be the one to give you the treatment that you really deserve.".
Izuku knows he's crying again, but this time they're good tears. He knew that Katsuki had changed, that was undeniable, but for him to like him as more than a friend- for him to want Izuku the same way that Izuku has wanted him for years- it's more than he ever thought he'd get.
"Kacchan, I like you too! As more than a friend! You don't need to prove anything, you're already amazing!", Izuku exclaims as he throws his arms around Katsuki's neck.
He can't help but giggle at Katsuki's quiet sigh of relief as he melts into the hug, "Yeah well, I want to 'Zuku.".
And that's just it, isn't it? Katsuki wants better for Izuku. His new friends want better for him. None of them have any unattainable expectations of him or want him to hide his true self for their convenience.
For the first time in as long as he can remember, Izuku doesn't have anything more to wish for.
(Until he finds his lips pressed against Katsuki and he finds himself wishing that they could stay like that forever.).