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1. god left a long time ago (and took the tenderness with him) by ijusthavealotoffeelings

   Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)  

   • Explicit
   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
   • M/M
   • Work in Progress

   28 Dec 2023

   Tags

   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
   • Rape/Non-Con
   • Castiel/Dean Winchester
   • Castiel & Sam Winchester
   • Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
   • Castiel & Claire Novak
   • Castiel (Supernatural)
   • Dean Winchester
   • Sam Winchester
   • Jody Mills
   • Claire Novak
   • Kaia Nieves
   • Post-Season/Series 10 AU
   • maybe? this fic doesn't have a specific timeline
   • ok i suck at tags but it's important for this one so let's get the major stuff out of the way
   • Human Castiel (Supernatural)
   • Rape Aftermath
   • Aftermath of Torture
   • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
   • Hurt/Comfort
   • Heavy Angst
   • Angst with a Happy Ending
   • yes this fic does get fairly dark
   • it explores the aftermath and healing of sexual assault
   • but it still has a happy ending because those are just the kinds of stories i write
   • Lets Play A Game Called
   • How Much Can I Project Onto My Favorite Characters in One Fic?
   • seriously though guys
   • this is just a lot a lot of me projecting my own experiences and trauma onto cas
   • trigger warning
   • seriously please read with caution!
   • READ THE TAGS YA'LL!!
   • i don't want anyone to get triggered reading this
   • Religious Imagery & Symbolism
   • is my catholic guilt showing in this?? hmm
   • again. this is just me projecting. everyone deals with sexual assault differently
   • pretty much based off my own experiences
   • ok i realized i'm making this sound super depressing but i swear it's hopeful too
   • my life in a nutshell really
   • ok right back to actual tags
   • Bisexual Dean Winchester
   • Gay Castiel (Supernatural)
   • Past Prostitution
   • ok i think i got em all
   • me actually acknowledging both sam and dean's canon trauma bc the writers suck at it
   • everybody needs therapy in this fic
   • Domestic Team Free Will (Supernatural)
   • Fluff
   • because there is some in this fic believe it or not!!
   • i pinky promise this has a happy ending!!!!!
   • also there is of course consensual smut in this bc im me
   • SO
   • With that in mind
   • Hand Jobs
   • Blow Jobs
   • Developing Relationship
   • Love Confessions
   • First Time
   • First Kiss
   • long scenes of characters literally just talking
   • listen
   • if the writers won't let these characters fucking communicate
   • then i'll just have to do it myself

   Summary

   It’s strange, Castiel thinks, how your body can become a memorial to your own suffering.

   OR

   After a fateful day when a newly-human Cas is taken prisoner and subjected to the worst humanity has to offer, he has to learn and re-learn what it means to love and be loved within a body that has endured so much trauma. Luckily for him, he has his family and the love of his life there to help him through it.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   25,669

   Chapters:

   4/?

   Comments:

   11

   Kudos:

   69

   Bookmarks:

   12

   Hits:

   992